Kiss Midnight Goodbye (Midnight Blue Beach Book 3)

by Olivia Jaymes

  “Nigel?” He shook his head. “It won’t be him. It will probably be one of the current officers but I don’t know which one. There’ll be an election of the officers and the division heads. There are rumblings that it might be someone outside the power structure but that’s just a rumor. It’s always the same every time a new president is elected but then an officer gets the position anyway.”

  Ellis would love to be a fly on the wall during that meeting. “What was Archer Caldwell’s position before he was president?”

  Silence and then a sigh. “Jesus, I shouldn’t be telling you all this.”

  Swiveling in her chair, Peyton shot him an angry look. “But you will, brother dear, because you owe me. You’ll tell the truth for perhaps the first time in your life.”

  Jensen scratched his head and groaned before answering. “Archer was the division head for Arsenal.”

  Arsenal. Of course. Caldwell had been lying when he’d said he wasn’t aware of Frank, Alex, and Greg’s deaths until recently. Another asshole.

  “That’s the power position, isn’t it?” Ellis challenged. “That position feeds into the presidency, doesn’t it?”

  “Yes.”

  “What’s your title, Jensen? You say you aren’t in Arsenal. What do you do for Evandria? They had you deliver their hush money to Amelia. Are you in the financial division?”

  Straightening in his chair, Jensen made a cutting motion with his hand. “It wasn’t hush money. Evandria knew that Greg hadn’t made any provisions for her and they wanted to make it right. He was one of us and we take care of our own.”

  “They sure do,” Ellis scoffed. “They took care of those three men and made sure they aren’t looking at the green side of the grass. Lovely people you socialize with. Now what’s your title?”

  “I’m an assistant to the director of the financial division.”

  “Are you next in line to be director?” Peyton asked.

  “Yes. Probably.”

  Ellis smiled, already knowing the answer to the question he was about to ask. “When did you receive this title? Assistant to the director of whatever.”

  Jensen’s shoulders sagged and he slumped down. “After I handled the payout to Amelia for Greg’s death.”

  “Bastard,” Peyton spat, her muscles rigid under his fingers. “You’re just like all the rest of them. It’s all about the power.”

  That brought up another question. “Which side of the power struggle was Caldwell on? The good or the bad? And don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about because you do.”

  “The rogue,” Jensen replied after a long pause.

  Hell, I might as well swing for the fences.

  “Holmwood?”

  “The good. I think. I’m not really sure.”

  “Greg?”

  Jensen shook his head. “I don’t know.”

  “Your father?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Grant Hollister?”

  “I don’t know,” he replied, sweat running down his forehead. “I don’t know. We don’t know things like that.”

  Ellis leaned forward, his fingers tightening on Peyton’s. “Just one more question and this one you should know the answer to quite easily. Which side are you on, Jensen?”

  Eyes red-rimmed, the man blinked rapidly to hold back the tears as his lips trembled. A sob erupted from his throat and he scrubbed at his face with the back of his hand.

  “I don’t know. I truly have no idea.”

  Peyton threw down her napkin in disgust. “I’m going to the ladies’ room.”

  Normally Ellis wouldn’t let her go by herself but the restroom was only a few feet away. He didn’t object as she disappeared behind the door, glad to have a few minutes to chat with Jensen who was dabbing at his eyes with his napkin.

  For fuck’s sake. Nut up, man.

  Clearing his throat to get Jensen’s attention, Ellis leaned closer so he didn’t have to raise his voice. “I’m glad we have a chance to talk. You know, man to man.”

  Jensen sniffled and nodded. “I’m glad that Peyton has someone like you to keep an eye on her.”

  Ellis kept his voice low. “That’s exactly what I intend to do. If you or your Evandria friends have any ideas about hurting her, I will hunt you down like the dogs you are and make it look like an accident. They’ll never find the body. Do you get what I’m saying?”

  The other man had shrunk away from Ellis, horror written on his face. “I–No–Jesus–”

  Ellis didn’t hesitate to make sure his point was clear as a bell. There would be no misunderstandings after this. “Jesus won’t be able to help you, Jensen. Hear me well. If Peyton or her friends get so much as a fucking hangnail, I will make your fucking nightmares look like a fucking paradise. It will be my mission in life to make you and your friends so fucking miserable you’ll be begging me on your knees for death. I hope we understand each other because it appears that no one on this stupid planet has ever put that woman first. That’s all changed now. She’s the most important thing in my life. You? I really don’t give a shit if you live or die. I could go either way on that so don’t test me. You’ll lose.” Ellis picked up his wine glass and took a sip. “I’m so glad we had this talk. I, for one, feel so much better. How about you?”

  His eyes wide and unblinking, Jensen nodded but didn’t say a word. Just as well. Ellis didn’t believe a word coming out of the man’s mouth.

  Trust no one.

  Chapter Ten

  Peyton stared at the ceiling of her hotel bedroom, wide awake despite the late hour. She could blame the time difference but inside she knew better. She’d hurt Ellis – the last person in the world she’d wanted to injure – earlier today when she’d told him he made her weak. He didn’t understand what she’d meant and he hadn’t wanted to give her a chance to explain it better. She wasn’t even sure that she could, only that she had to try.

  Tossing back the covers, she grabbed her robe from the end of the bed, wrapping it around her chilled body. It was much cooler in London than she was used to and she didn’t forget to slide her feet into slippers before padding out of the bedroom into the living area of the suite they’d rented. She already knew from her time in the hospital that Ellis only slept a few hours a night and with any luck he’d be awake as well.

  The television was the only light, casting shadows across the empty sofa bed where he should have been. For a moment her heart skipped a beat, thinking that he might have left her but reason kicked in immediately. This was Ellis Hunter and he didn’t leave a job undone.

  Sweeping the room, her gaze landed on his dark figure leaning against the balcony sliding doors, a highball glass in his hand. He hadn’t even undressed for bed, still clad in his blue jeans and white button-down shirt. The sleeves were rolled up to his elbows revealing muscular forearms with just a sprinkling of dark hair covering his golden skin. Ellis was a handsome man although he was even more devastating on the rare occasions he smiled. It transformed his entire face and made her want to trace the crinkles around his eyes with her fingertips.

  She wasn’t going to do any of that. Tonight she was going to attempt to explain how her issues didn’t have anything to do with him and everything to do with her. He was wonderful she was…messed up.

  Instead of going to stand next to him, she walked over to the bar in the corner of the room and poured herself a generous whiskey. She’d been avoiding alcohol in case she needed to take any medication but if she ever needed a drink, it was right now. Carrying her glass in one hand and the bottle in the other, she came up right behind him, close enough to feel the warmth radiate from his body but far enough away that she could keep her sanity.

  Holding out the bottle, she said, “Refill?”

  He didn’t turn, seemingly content to stare out on the London skyline but he held his glass out to the side. “Don’t mind if I do.”

  She refilled his glass and walked back to the bar to replace the whiskey on the counter. Th
e tension in the room had begun to build and was becoming unbearable. Part of her wanted him to say something, anything, and a bigger part of her was terrified of what he might say. Would he rail against her and call her a tease? Would he tell her she was spoiled and selfish, dragging him here when she had no intention of the relationship being anything other than business? Would he decide she wasn’t worth the hassle and leave her once he’d delivered her back to the States?

  She wouldn’t blame him for any of that but deep down she knew none of that was going to happen. Men like Ellis, old school to the core, didn’t turn their anger on a woman. They internalized it until they dropped dead from a heart attack at fifty. That’s what she’d be to him someday. A heart condition.

  She couldn’t take his cold indifference a moment longer. “Are you going to look at me?”

  “Why? Do you look different?”

  Nobody could be a grumpy asshole better than Ellis. He’d dropped most of his bullshit with her but tonight that wall was in full force.

  “Don’t be a jerk.”

  She heard him chuckle in the dark but his back was still facing her. “But I am a jerk, princess.”

  Sometimes, but not all the time, and never to her.

  “Are you drunk?

  She didn’t know how she knew, but she could feel him smiling. He found her amusing, like a cat playing with a mouse.

  “Not even close. I have to keep my wits sharp to keep you alive. Did you know I threatened to kill your brother today when you were in the ladies’ room? He almost shit his pants he was so scared. From what I’ve observed so far, the wealthy don’t seem to have much balls.”

  Jensen didn’t. It also explained why her brother had barely said two words when she’d returned to the table.

  “You were angry at me so you took it out on Jensen?”

  “I took it out on Jensen because he’s a fucking waste of oxygen. As for anger, I’m not mad at you.”

  “You are.”

  He took a sip of his whiskey, the amber liquid catching a shaft of light from a building across the street. “I’m really not. You feel how you feel. It would be a waste of energy to be upset about that.”

  She took a gulp from her own drink and choked on the fire as the flames burned the back of her throat. “And you don’t waste energy.”

  “I don’t waste. Period. Is that what you got out of bed for? A drink and a philosophy lesson?”

  The air around her seemed permeated with his masculine scent, spicy and warm. It reminded her of hot summer nights at the beach, the smell of salt in the air and the heavy perfume of citrus and hibiscus. Ellis was the moon in a starless night sky, pulling at her like the tide until she was helpless, without a will of her own. Her senses were completely attuned to his every breath, every eyelash flicker, every twitch of his fingers.

  She’d imagined those hands on her skin, fantasized about what they could do to her. He’d touched her before of course in the most casual of ways. His hands had been rough, just enough to cause a friction against her much softer flesh. They were a man’s hands, hard, unrelenting, and capable of bodily harm. But this was a man also capable of great tenderness. He’d soothed her headaches with cold compresses on her forehead, rubbed her shoulders after a nightmare, and read to her when she couldn’t sleep.

  Ellis Hunter was a man of contradictions, every one of them fascinating, compelling, and exciting. Was it any wonder that he made her feel weak? It was only earlier tonight when he’d challenged her feelings toward him that she’d admitted to the emotions she’d been so carefully trying to ignore. If she pretended they weren’t there, perhaps they might simply disappear.

  Life didn’t work that way.

  “I came out here to talk to you.” Her voice sounded gravelly as if it hadn’t been used in a long time.

  “I’m listening.”

  Sighing, she reached out and placed her hand on his arm, feeling the muscles flinch under her touch. “Will you turn around?”

  For a moment she thought he would refuse but then he did, unhurried as if they had all night. His eyes were hooded, his lips a straight line. They were back to the beginning when Ellis kept his emotions under careful check. She’d undone weeks of work with one word.

  “What did you want to talk about, princess?”

  There was still time to turn and run back into the bedroom, locking the door behind her and not coming out until morning. He wouldn’t chase her, that was for sure. He didn’t want to have this conversation any more than she did; hell, probably much less actually. He’d let it all go and tomorrow morning pretend this had never happened. All she had to do was turn around and walk away.

  Her heart beating like thunder in her ears, she stood her ground. For once in her life, she needed to be brave. He’d called her a fierce warrior and she wanted to believe she really could be. That had been one of her resolutions when she’d woken up in that hospital, scared and disoriented. Of course it had been easy to think that when Ellis had been by her side the entire time. His face was the first thing she’d seen when she’d opened her eyes.

  “What I meant when I said that you made me weak—it’s not what you think.”

  His lips curved into a smile but she knew he wasn’t happy. He had been but he wasn’t now. “And what do I think?”

  She’d built this. This mocking, sarcastic man was her fault.

  “You think I meant it in a bad way. But that’s not the case.”

  “Because being weak is such a good thing.”

  There was derision in his tone but she could hear the hurt as well.

  “You do make me feel weak,” she admitted. “But not in a bad way. Maybe a better way to describe it is that you allow me to feel weak. I trust you enough that I don’t always have to be the one in charge, in control all the time. Greg was like a child that needed his mommy and I had to be the grownup. I don’t feel that way with you. I can allow myself to just be. It’s a luxury I’m not used to.”

  The silence stretched out as he pondered her explanation. She wanted to rush in and explain more, find the right words, but Ellis didn’t need more from her. Finally he straightened and took another sip of his whiskey.

  “But you don’t like it.”

  He didn’t phrase it like a question.

  Swallowing hard, she nodded. “It unnerves me. I don’t know how to feel this way and it scares me. You scare me.”

  She heard his swiftly drawn breath. “I scare you?”

  “Not in that way. You scare me in that I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to handle feeling this vulnerable. How am I supposed to deal with this?”

  His brow quirked. “Enjoy it? Isn’t it nice to not have to be in charge of every fucking thing, every fucking minute of the day?”

  This was rich coming from him. “I don’t know and you don’t either. Pot? This is kettle. You’re just as guilty as I am, Ellis.”

  “You’re wrong.” He shook his head and walked over to the bar but he didn’t refill his glass. “As a cop, I know when to depend on other people. Everyone has a role to play, and everyone can’t be in charge. It doesn’t work that way. I’m in charge right now because I’m trying to keep you alive. Next time we go shopping, princess, it’s all you. I’ll happily walk behind you and carry your handbag.”

  Chauvinist asshole.

  “I hate to shop,” she said, stalling for time. She hadn’t thought about his job in those terms, but it didn’t change the panic she’d been feeling. “I can’t lose myself in you, Ellis. I’ve lived too much of my life like that.”

  “I don’t remember asking you to do that. Peyton, if I wanted someone to follow me around and worship me I’d get a fucking puppy from Josh. I’m looking for a partner in my life, someone who can handle me. Give as good as they get. Someone who takes no shit from me. I’m not sure where you think you haven’t done exactly that. You’re a strong woman.”

  Am I?

  “This is why I’m keeping my distance. I’m so confused right now.
Ellis, I need time. That’s all I’m asking for. A little time. Can you give me that?”

  “I’d give you the goddamn moon if you asked me for it.” He slammed his glass down on the bar and strode up to her, his large hands on her shoulders so she had to look up at him. “I’ll give you all the time that you want but I’m going to need something for myself.”

  She nodded numbly, not trusting her voice when he was this close. Every cell in her body was screaming out to press herself into his arms but her head… It was shouting warnings as if she was going down on the Titanic.

  “I need to take a few steps back.” Her world tilted at the thought he wanted to leave her and he must have seen her panic because he was shaking his head. “Not physically. I’m in this and I won’t leave you. I told you I’ll protect you with my life and I meant it. But emotionally I need some space as well. I respect that you need time and I want to give you that, but to do it I need to disengage a little for my own sanity.”

  She couldn’t say no. He’d risked his life for her and had never asked for one little thing. Until now. This was because she’d pushed him to it. This was a reaction to her.

  “Yes, I can do that.”

  “And I can give you all the time you need.”

  His hands fell away from her arms and she wanted to beg him to put them back. Already she could feel his emotional withdrawal even if he hadn’t take one step away from her. The room felt colder and she wrapped her arms around herself to ward off the chill.

  “Then we understand each other.”

  The words sounded hollow and trite and she cringed at herself. This whole conversation had gone to hell. It might have been better to have said nothing at all.

  “We do,” he agreed, throwing back the last of his drink. “I’m still here for you. That hasn’t changed. I just can’t keep putting myself out there for you if there isn’t any hope for me. For us. It’s not your fault, it’s just the way I am.”

  She wanted to yell that there was hope but the fear took over and she said nothing. Truthfully, she didn’t know if she could ever give him what he was seeking. It all sounded so wonderful, a real partnership with a loving man that respected her. It was all she’d ever wanted. But she needed to be strong, and stand on her own two feet. She’d lived in someone’s shadow too long.