Invincible (A Kingpin Love Affair Book 3)

by Beck, J. L.

  “Men in Black would have been way cooler than anything I’ve ever done,” I added keeping it casual as I moved her to my shoulder.

  “I can walk,” she protested, wiggling her ass by my head.

  “No need to walk, my lady. Your carriage awaits.” Pain continued to radiate through my head as I stumbled out of the ballroom doors and into the hall. I could feel the warmth of the wetness seeping from my head. What the fuck did that guard hit me with?

  “I can fucking walk, Devon. I’m not that drunk,” she whined pawing at my back. I refused to put her down though. At the rate we were going, just with my walking alone, we wouldn’t get out in time. Take into account both of us struggling and it was a lost cause. That’s how I knew it would be easier this way.

  Once we made it back into the lobby, I knew we could blend in easier so I slowed my pace and weaved in and out of the crowds. If people thought it weird I was carrying a woman over my shoulder, they didn’t say anything. Must not have been the first time they had seen something like this happen.

  Tegan’s complaints of telling me she could walk didn’t let up until the coldness of the night hit my face and I put her down on her own two feet. My legs grew weak, and my vision started to blur as the haze threatened to take me back under.

  “Seriously, I could have walked out of there. I don’t need your caveman shit! You don’t own me, De—” She didn’t finish her sentence and I was over listening to her complaints. I had bigger issues, like getting us both out of here alive. Who knew how much longer we had before Tony sent his minions after us?

  Even though he walked away from me in that room, I didn’t trust he would let us both leave the premises just like that. My only option was keeping my guard up. I couldn’t let it down. Not even for one second.

  Instead of stopping to listen to whatever insanity she was spewing, I reached out with a wobbly hand gripping her by the side as I ushered her in the direction of the car.

  “You’re bleeding, Devon.” Her voice sounded surprised as she stopped us, yet again, with her talking. At this point, I was starting to become frustrated. When had she become Captain Fucking Obvious?

  “Like not just a scrape. You’re bleeding like a fucking lot. What the hell happened?” Her facial expressions were hysterical, her words becoming muffled by the static waves buzzing inside my head. My eyes felt like they were being weighed down by cylinder blocks as blood continued to gush out from my wound.

  Unable to keep my eyes open a minute longer I closed them for a brief moment of silence. My thoughts drifted to Tegan, begging and screaming for me. Those thoughts alone gave me the strength I wasn’t aware I had to force them back open.

  “Your friend Tony and his fucking watchdog is what happened.” My voice was deep and full of unyielding pain, unlike my normal tone, as I unlocked the truck and pushed her into her seat shutting the door behind me.

  My vision blurred as I circled around to my side of the truck, and with it, came a searing pain. I gripped the side of the Tahoe to stay upright, but before I realized it, I felt the cold, hard ground beneath me. There was no stopping the fall or the blood that oozed from my head.

  I willed my body to stay with me, to push the pain away and fight the darkness, but it was useless. I could feel the pain consuming me and yet there was still a small part of me clinging to the light. I could hear a car door slamming and Tegan’s sweet voice in my ear, but I couldn’t respond.

  I was helpless.

  Useless to her.

  “Devon, I’ll always love you. No matter what you do.” I thought I heard her whisper. My mind was revisiting old memories of the past, and while I wanted her to say she loved me now, I knew it wasn’t real. It couldn’t be.

  Because, once again, I had tried to be the good guy, be her knight in shining armor, her Prince Charming. I wanted to be the one to save her, and just like last time, I had failed her and proved to myself I had been nothing short of the fucking villain in all of this.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Tegan

  ON A SMALL bed in Farmer Johnson’s house, Devon laid there, his body unmoving, his eyes not opening. The only show of life was through his moving chest. My hands were shaking, and the alcohol I had consumed just hours before no longer affected me. I was scared, angry, and deeply confused.

  I don’t know what it was exactly that made me get back out of the Tahoe. Maybe it was this unseen connection that has always existed between Devon and me. An invisible rope that pulled us to each other when we needed one another the most. Whatever the reason, when my eyes landed on him lying there, every memory good or bad, embedded itself even further into my heart.

  I needed to act. That was all I thought about as Devon’s suspicions helped to sober me up. Somehow, I had found the strength I needed to get him off the ground and into the Tahoe. I found myself ripping a piece of his shirt and tying it around his head in an attempt to stop the bleeding.

  “You’re going to be okay, everything is going to be all right,” I said to myself choking down the panic as I jumped in the front seat, throwing the key into the ignition and putting the truck into drive so I could get the hell out of there.

  “Child, you keep staring at him like he’s going to die. I done gone and sewed him up. He’ll live.” John’s voice was nonchalant like I hadn’t just witnessed the man I love almost die. In reality, he wasn’t dying, he was breathing but unconscious. The what-if’s of the situation is what freaked me out the most and the blood. There was so much blood coming from the gash on his head and it wouldn’t stop. That alone sent me into a spiraling panic attack.

  When he had disappeared back at the casino, I figured he was going to investigate as we had talked about while giving me some time alone. That was only half the truth. Somewhere along the way, he had a run-in with Tony while I danced and let the alcohol consume me. I should’ve been paying attention. I should’ve had his back just as he had mine.

  Guilt formed in my chest. I just wanted to forget. Forget the pain he had once again caused me, forget the money I was responsible for, and forget that I could very well end up dead, but most of all, forget everything he made me feel.

  With the strobe lights flashing, blaring music surrounding me, and the alcohol flowing through my veins, I had missed the entire confrontation. I could have done something, anything if only I hadn’t been purposefully ignoring him.

  I didn’t want the guilt that was eating away at me from the inside out to go away. I needed to feel it. I needed to let it swallow me completely because it was my fault. This entire situation was my fault.

  “Sorry, I don’t handle blood well.” I made a queasy look on my face. That was a lie. What I couldn’t handle was the fact that I had, just for a fraction of a second, nearly lost him. The panic that had seized my heart was something I would never be able to shake.

  “Blood? It’s not like he was bleeding out. He suffered a major cut to the head with only some bleeding. Nothing that couldn’t be fixed by me.” I hated the way John talked about it. As if it weren’t a big deal. I wrapped my arms around myself. I was breaking, the pieces of me that had been put together so carefully were on the verge of shattering. I knew Devon wanted me as more than just whatever we were. I knew he was my soulmate. Why else would God take him away only to bring him back? I told him I would let him walk away, and I understood the sacrifice, but this time, after everything that had happened today, I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.

  We were more than this, and after the dust had settled, he was going to understand this was my choice, too.

  John walked into the kitchen coming back with an orange soda that he placed in front of me with a comforting smile. Devon had known John the better part of his life. I had only spent time with him a handful of times, but I got the impression John had a major hand in raising Devon. He wouldn’t be half the man he was if it weren’t for this man.

  “FUCK.” Devon’s voice echoed throughout the old house, and I found myself pushing out of my chair, racing to
ward the bedroom in a frenzy to make sure he was okay.

  “You’re awake,” I exclaimed, running toward the bed only to stop myself from tackling him into the mattress. I wanted to touch him, to feel him moving underneath me so I could know this was real.

  “Of course, I’m awake.” His voice was awkward from the pain and sleepiness.

  “A little scrape can’t put me out, baby… As if you would ever be able to get rid of me that easily.” He flirted playfully. It had to be the pain meds John had given him because, while he had been somewhat amusing before all of this, there was a new zing to his playfulness.

  “Must’ve been a really big ass scrape because you’re flirting with me right now.” I smiled at him, taking a seat on the old squeaky bed as I rubbed my fingers across the bandage that was now covering his injury. His head seemed fine, so did the rest of his body but for some reason, I couldn’t seem to pull my eyes away from him.

  “I said I couldn’t be with you, not that I didn’t want to be. There’s a difference.” His warm hand landed on mine with a smile. On the outside, I painted on a smile. Inside, I was dying. My heart was aching, with every word that passed his lips.

  “Are you okay?” Devon’s voice whispered in my ear as he sat up and wrapped an arm around me. I wasn’t sure what was happening. If I was losing it or just not coping with life the right way. Why the fuck did I have to be dealt such a tough hand? Why couldn’t I find happiness?

  “I should’ve listened to you… I should’ve listened to my mom… I should’ve listened to everyone…” I wanted to scream. I was breaking down.

  “Shhh…” he said softly, his hand running through my hair repeatedly. “None of those things matter. Listening to me wouldn’t have changed the outcome of things. Listening to your mother would’ve just led to a sheltered life.” He was making excuses, he didn’t understand.

  “You don’t understand…” I cried out. I was having a complete fucking breakdown in John’s house. I needed to get my feelings in check. This needed to stop. I wiped at my face and forced my emotions down. If I allowed them to continue, they would come out like vomit, and no one would be safe from the emotional wreck I would become.

  “I understand more than anyone. My parents were two pieces of shit who forced me to deal their drugs at school. You know my history, so don’t give me that pity fucking party,” he growled, pulling himself off the bed.

  Devon was stronger than I was. Not just in a physical sense but in an emotional sense as well. He always knew when to give up or to call it quits. Me? I would stand there all day long praying for a miracle.

  “Thanks, John,” Devon yelled, grabbing my hand as he all but pulled me out of the room and through the house. He led us from John’s house, across the small field, and to the cabin that he was renting. The wind howled whipping my hair around, the chilly bite to the air only adding to my heightened senses.

  I watched as Devon fished his key out of his pocket and unlocked the door. “You coming in or you staying out there all night?” he asked with an eyebrow raised. All I could do was smile and walk into the cabin as he closed the door, locking it behind him.

  “Let’s get this done and over with because I don’t want to spend the rest of the night fighting with you,” he said, turning to face me.

  “Okay,” I agreed.

  “I was watching you out by the bar and Tony cornered me. He ended up bringing up something about you being the future. I jumped him, not even thinking about what could happen. Next thing I know, I’m awake in a room down another hall, and he and Caroline are in there talking about you—about if you know about them and what will happen when ‘they’ find out.”

  I threw myself onto the small couch with a thud. Caroline was playing me? The one person who had somehow managed to stick with me through everything. My head was spinning.

  “I mean, I know I shouldn’t have fucking lashed out, but he was talking about you like you belonged to him—like you are his. I know there is something up with him, and I intend to find out what it is.” I could see the anguish in every pacing step Devon took across the wood floor.

  “I don’t belong to anyone, Dev. You know that. The one man I want doesn’t even want me. Tony’s probably fucking around with Caroline. It wouldn’t make much sense for them to be working together. I mean, Tony’s parents are in on the drug dealing, but that’s about it,” I added.

  “What did you just say?” Devon asked astonished.

  “Which part?”

  “You said Tony’s parents are in on the drug dealing? How do you know that? What if his parent’s suppliers are my parent’s suppliers?”

  I took a deep breath, and then another. If Tony’s parents knew the supplier, and Devon’s parents did as well, it meant they both knew who it was who was after me. If that were true, then Tony was lying to me. He knew all along.

  “I think you’re right. Tony and Caroline have something going on, and I think they’re using each other.” I clenched my fist, ignoring his previous questions. I didn’t want to believe any of it, but with no other logical reason, I had to believe it.

  “How do you know Tony’s parents are in on it, though?” Devon questioned further taking the seat next to me on the couch. His presence made the space between us seem smaller.

  “I know his parents deal drugs. I’ve seen men like the guys that came in for me come in and out of the diner. I just kind of turned my head the other way. I never wanted to get involved in it. Tony never said anything, and we both kind of acted like we never saw anything.” That was the stupid thing about it all—we just turned our heads to the bad things as if we didn’t see them. As if it made it easier to deal with if you didn’t see it.

  Tension filled the room as I watched a light go off in Devon’s head. He was contemplating something. We knew Tony had something to do with everything, and in reality, I wondered what was holding them back from coming for us. Or maybe they were just like us, waiting for the perfect time to pounce.

  “I know there is a lot going on, and I don’t just mean what’s going on between us, but you have to stay strong through all of this. It’s going to get dark, and it’s going to feel like you can’t hold on anymore.” His green eyes twinkled in the lighting, luring me into the depths of his emerald orbs.

  “I have been through plenty, Devon. I can handle this. If Tony and Caroline are working together to fuck with me, then they need to pay. I didn’t deserve for any of this shit to happen to me.” I wasn’t out for blood or even revenge. I just wanted answers. I wanted to know what happened to Jamie and why I was targeted.

  “Fine.” He dismissed me, shucking off his shirt. Immediately, my mind and all logic flew out the window. Anytime I was within a few feet of him, my mind went blank so he removing his shirt completely threw me for a loop. All I could think about were those summer nights where his hands lingered all over my body. When the last thing we had to worry about was death. I sat there watching him pull off his clothes trying to focus my eyes elsewhere.

  He was everything I ever dreamt he would be. Everything I always wanted. Gentle in all the right ways, but rough when needed.

  “You’re welcome to join me.” His tone was seductive and I so badly wanted to give into it. I mean, what girl wouldn’t? The thing was, we weren’t an item, and hooking up with him again would do nothing for my still breaking heart. I told myself I wouldn’t let him go, that I would make him stay. I also knew better, though. I knew, when the time came for him to walk away, I would let him go again.

  “Uhhh… Yeah… No… Thanks…” I said each word trying to convince myself more so than him, as my body all but screamed ‘are you fucking crazy?’

  “Are you turning me down, Tegan?” I shielded my eyes, but it did no good when I felt his hot breath on my shoulder. I turned my head to the side and looked at him, I mean really looked him.

  His hair was grown out, his eyes dark, and still very full of secrets. His lips were God’s blessing. His body made me want to climb him lik
e a tree.

  “No…” I said only to correct myself with, “I mean, yes.” I could feel him smile against my skin. It worried me how fast he could go from a serious FBI agent to a hot as sin lover.

  “Which is it?” he taunted, his finger slipping under the strap of my tank top. I felt drunk on his smell as it invaded my senses, stopping me from saying another word. I wanted to say ‘Yes, take me’ with every part of my being, yet I knew deep down inside, saying NO was much safer.

  “No.” I was firm on my answer, but the second his finger skimmed over my shoulder, my body betrayed me.

  “I have fucked up so badly, Tegan. I have made the biggest fool of myself. I have ripped your heart out, and I have caused us so much pain. I know what I said hurt you, and I know I told you I couldn’t handle being with you. I will do whatever I can to protect you, but right now, I can’t stay away from you. I can’t keep my hands off you, and I can’t think of you alone out here while I’m in the bathroom. I might deny us the chance to be together, but I won’t deny us the chance to be together like this one last time. Give me something to remember, baby. Give me something to feel.”

  He was making this too fucking hard. Way too fucking hard. I stood up, coming face to face with him so I could see the lust, so I could see the need and feel the desire radiating off him.

  His cock was hard against my belly and as I gazed down, I could feel my own insides clenching at the mere thought of being taken by him again.

  His finger slipped under my chin tipping my face back up to his again. “I know you want this. I can hear your heart beating out of your chest and I can smell your arousal. If I slipped a finger inside you right now, I bet you would already be wet—wet for me.”

  If we can’t have each other, then we can have this. I could hear my heart at war with my mind as I stood there thinking about everything he said.

  Was he right? If we couldn’t have each other forever, wasn’t a little slice of the pie better than nothing? I mean, I like pie, he likes pie, so why keep something we both like away from each other. I could savor that taste, the feel of him my entire life.