Seductive Reasoning

by Cheryl Gorman

“Katherine,” her mother said through the closed curtain, “your shop was mentioned in the paper this morning. Your father and I were ... gratified to read the favorable comments.”

  A little thrill of excitement skittered up Kate’s spine. She hadn’t read the paper yet. As soon as her mother left, she planned to greedily devour every word.

  Her new confidence in herself bloomed through her heart and mind. She felt as though she’d climbed a major hurdle, leaped over a mountain in a single bound or jumped from a great height, startled and relieved to find herself still in one piece.

  “Oh, my,” her mother said.

  Kate pulled back a corner of the curtain and peeked inside. Her mother stood in front of the mirror wearing the tiniest nightgown, her body still quite youthful. “Mom, you look fabulous. Daddy’s going to love it.”

  A light blush spread over her mother’s cheeks, but she glanced at Kate out of the corner of her eye and smiled. “You really think so?”

  “Absolutely.”

  After her mother made a purchase and left, Kate blinked back happy tears and tried to steady her rapidly beating heart. Even though her mother hadn’t said it out loud, Kate knew she was proud of her. It was a beginning. She hadn’t been able to choke out the words but had said them in her own fashion. She’d admitted she was proud of her by purchasing the nightgown. Her mother said it in her mention of the article in the paper. In her mother’s own way, she had finally begun to accept her. Maybe one day if she reached that pinnacle of success that she was striving for, her mother would say it to her face.

  And Seth had been here to share that moment with her. He’d stood next to her, taken her hand and tried his best to reassure her. Just like he’d stood up for her the other day. It hadn’t been a fluke.

  He cared for her.

  Kate turned and looked at him across the store. He was so handsome he took her breath. She walked to his side, slipped her hand into his, and laced their fingers together. If he cared for her, she would have to trust that he wouldn’t break her heart when she told him that she loved him. “You stood up for me. Again. Thank you.”

  Seth cupped her chin. “I care what happens to you. I didn’t want to but ... I can’t deny it any longer. I care.”

  Kate swallowed as emotions careened through her. Did this mean he might stay? Did she stand even an infinitesimal chance of him one day loving her? Not the sexy, seductive woman she’d shoved at him when they first met, but the woman she was deep inside. Did she dare take that chance? Gathering her courage, she plunged ahead. “What is it about me that makes you care?”

  He smiled and brushed the bangs from her eyes. “Your intelligence, your sense of fun. We both think outside the box. But most important, you see beyond my looks. I like you very much.” His voice became very quiet when he uttered those last words. Emotions darkened his eyes, emotions she couldn’t read. “In a matter of days we’ve become not only lovers, but friends. Friendship is the key to any relationship, don’t you think?”

  Her heart plummeted to her feet. Hope that had surrounded her heart dissipated. Friendship. How could she have been such a fool?

  He felt friendship for her. Nothing more. Sure, the sex had been great, but she needed to be realistic. He wouldn’t stick around. She had been foolish to hope and dream otherwise. That little flame inside that made her believe there could be a lasting and fulfilling relationship between them snuffed out.

  They could be friends. They would only be friends, friends who occasionally shared a bed, friends who covered each other with ice cream and then licked it off one drop at the time. Friends who told each other their deepest fears in the darkest part of the night. Friends who held each other while they slept.

  Time to cut her losses. Kate didn’t want him to see how much he hurt her, how much she loved him. “Well, I like you too, Seth.” Misery clawed its way to the center of her heart. She forced a smile and looked at her watch. “I’ve got five minutes before the shop opens. Oh, I almost forgot. Ms. McFadden stopped by with the results of her experiment with her boyfriend. It went very well. She even made another purchase. I gave her some of my business cards, and she said she would pass them around to her friends. I added her information to our graph. Everything is complete now. I’ll bring it with me to the show, and we can talk about it then.”

  His gaze skimmed her face and concern darkened his eyes. Seth brushed the tip of his finger over her cheek. “You okay?”

  Kate did her best to settle her face into a happy expression to hide her pain. “I’m fine.”

  “You sure?”

  Kate nodded.

  “Well, I’ve got some work to do at home. You left a few things in the bathroom. I’ll bring them to you later. Will I see you tonight on the show?”

  Her things. The show. Of course. “I’ll be there.”

  Seth smiled, turned on his heels, and left the shop. She watched him walk down the front steps and out to his truck. Pain speared into her heart.

  Friendship.

  He wanted friendship. Nothing more. Thank God, she hadn’t admitted she was in love with him.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Seth hadn’t been gone five minutes before the door of the shop flew open and Aunt Pandora breezed in. She was dressed in an eye-popping red skirt and matching blouse. Black mules covered her feet and large gold hoops dangled from her ears. At her side, she swung a shopping bag from Nordstrom.

  “Darling girl, I found the most divine dress to wear to a little soirée my friend Grace is throwing next week, but I haven’t a thing to wear under it. You know even the best dress doesn’t show off quite as well without the right undergarments.”

  She threw Kate a brilliant smile before it faded. Her eyes darkened with worry, and her mouth pulled into a frown. “Oh, baby. What’s happened?”

  Kate purposely ignored her question and slit open a new shipment of panties and bras specifically designed for Leos. Carefully, she removed each item from the box. The garments were a deep bronze color with sunbursts scattered over the surface.

  The Sun was Leo’s ruler, and the source of life and strength. She could use every bit of that strength herself right now. Kate fought against the tears burning at the back of her eyes and the hurt clawing at her heart. She jerked a bunch of bras from the box and slapped them down on the counter. This was the first time in her life she’d ever not been glad to see her aunt.

  She leaned down, reached under the check-out counter, and rummaged through a large box of loose hangars. She found the right ones for the bras and tossed them next to the cash register. She wanted to be alone for just a little while to collect her thoughts, to try to ease the ache in her heart.

  Okay, maybe it would take more than just a while, but she had to pull herself together enough to appear on the show with some measure of dignity. Kate couldn’t remember the last time she’d let loose with a good old-fashioned crying jag, but she was dangerously close to it.

  She didn’t want to be seen under the glare of all those lights with a swollen nose and red eyes. Not to mention the viewing audience. It wouldn’t do for the queen of lingerie to appear looking wretched instead of energized and confident from her win.

  A hard knot of misery pressed against her windpipe. She swallowed, then heaved a deep breath. A small box of white price tags with strings attached sat next to the cash register. Kate plucked one out, hastily marked down the price, and then attached it to the strap of one bra.

  Aunt Pandora tossed her shopping bag on the sofa under the window and strolled to her side with her heels clicking on the floor. She said nothing, only helped Kate unpack the new designs and stack them neatly until they could be tagged.

  After a moment, Pandora stroked a hand over Kate’s hair. “Want to talk about it?”

  The knot in her throat eased enough for her to speak. “Friendship. All he wants is friendship,” she snapped out and threw one of the pairs of panties back into the box. “After everything we’ve shared. I bared my heart and soul to that
man. How could anybody be that stubborn?”

  The scent of Aunt Pandora’s perfume drifted over her, and a cool draft of air-conditioned air wafted down, blowing over her face in a soothing breeze.

  Kate closed her eyes for a moment and willed her emotions to settle. She could really use a dose of Seth’s logic right now. The only problem was that in the past week a little of his practicality had rubbed off on her--but not nearly enough. She still ran full bore on emotions.

  Aunt Pandora placed her arm around Kate’s shoulders and squeezed. “I find that hard to believe. The other evening when I stopped by, the two of you had been extremely cozy on that swing in the backyard. That’s not usually something people who plan to be just friends do. Now why don’t we lock up the shop a bit early, go into the kitchen, and talk about it. My feet are killing me, and I’d kill for a cup of tea.”

  Once in the kitchen, Kate set the kettle to boil and reached into the cabinet for the teapot. She set it on the counter, then grabbed a box of loose tea, and poured several spoonfuls into the pot. The man was impossible. He was nitpicky, fussy, judgmental. And she loved him so much the thought of not having him in her life terrified her.

  Kate whirled about and leaned on the edge of the counter. Her aunt sat on one of the kitchen stools, her dressed hiked up over her thighs, her shoes tossed carelessly onto the floor. She massaged the instep of one foot and groaned. “So what exactly did the man say?”

  Kate crossed her arms over her chest. “He said he liked me.” She spit the words out like little bullets. “He said that in a few days we’d not only become lovers, but friends as well. Then he couldn’t wait to scurry out the door.”

  Pandora let go of her foot and rested it on a rung of the stool. She looked at Kate with sympathy in her eyes and a faint smile on her lips. “You’re in love with him.”

  Kate blinked, shrugged her shoulders, and exhaled. “Yes. Completely and totally. I don’t know what happened. One minute I was trying to win a bet and the next I’d fallen over a cliff.”

  At the sound of the whistling kettle, she turned and poured boiling water into the pot. Kate slid on the top and retrieved cups from another cabinet. How had she managed to let herself love him when she wasn’t even sure if he accepted her?

  Acceptance had to come first, didn’t it? “I love him with all my heart. But I should have waited, waited until I was sure.”

  Aunt Pandora crinkled her brow. “Sure of what, Katydid?”

  Kate pulled open a drawer and grabbed two infusers. She placed them over the lip of the cups, set them on a tray along with the teapot, and brought everything to the center island.

  Pandora retrieved the carton of milk from the fridge and set it next to the sugar dish. Kate eased onto one of the stools and poured out. “Sure that he accepted me.”

  Pandora spooned in a generous amount of sugar and milk, then stirred her cup quietly. She gave the spoon a slight shake, then laid it carefully on the counter next to her cup. “Do you have to be sure of someone’s acceptance before you can love him?”

  Kate looked out of the kitchen window. Sunlight trickled down and sparkled over the leaves of the trees, but in the distance she saw dark purple clouds. Her gaze fell on the swing. She remembered every touch, every kiss and softly whispered word. Her body responded instinctively, wanting to feel Seth’s caress. “No ... I mean ... I don’t know.”

  Pandora propped her elbows on the counter, held her cup between her fingers, and sipped some of her tea. She sighed. “You love me, don’t you?”

  Kate laid a hand on her shoulder. “You know I do, but you’ve always accepted me.”

  Pandora set her cup down on the counter. “I’m glad to know it. What about your mother and father? Your sister and brother? You love them?”

  Kate poured some cream into her tea and stirred. “Yes, of course. They’re my family.” She paused for a moment and gathered her thoughts. “The thing I’m not sure about is if they love me.” She’d never admitted that to anyone.

  Her aunt plopped her hand down on the counter with a thump. She turned to Kate and gripped her shoulders. Kate jerked around and faced her aunt. Fury sparked in her eyes. She realized that this was the first time she’d ever seen her aunt really angry.

  “You actually think because your parents and siblings don’t approve of or accept what you’ve chosen to do with your life that they don’t love you? Is that it? Is that what you truly believe?”

  In a nutshell. “Yes. I always felt that they didn’t really love me because they never accepted me. They’ve always been disappointed in me and kept expecting me to change directions, to see that they were right and I was wrong.”

  Pandora sighed, drew her into her arms, and gave her a tight squeeze. She pulled back and looked at Kate. “I have a story to tell you. I want you to listen. Carefully.”

  “No, let me do it.”

  Kate jerked her head around to find her mother standing in the doorway of the kitchen. A myriad of emotions washed over her mother’s face in a few seconds. The first was hurt followed by a brief flash of sadness. Then the emotions were gone as if blown away by some elusive wind. She found a cup for herself and settled next to Kate. With practiced ease, she prepared her tea and sipped delicately. “Pandora, would you mind terribly if I talked to Katherine alone?”

  “Not at all.” Pandora touched two fingers to her lips and blew Kate a kiss before she slipped from the kitchen.

  “Kate.” Her mother’s voice was soft and gentle. Something stirred deep within Kate’s heart, like a little chick awakening in its nest to find its mother nestled close by.

  Her mother never called her anything but Katherine.

  “After your brother and sister were born, we didn’t plan to have more children. The practice was beginning to take off, and we’d managed to survive teething and potty training. We figured two children were enough to make our family complete. But life tends to throw you curves, some bad, some good, and some fantastic.” She smiled vaguely and sipped her tea.

  A bubble of hope swelled in Kate’s heart. Was she saying that she was fantastic?

  “The day your brother turned six, I found out I was pregnant with you. I had all the usual symptoms but had chalked them up to stress and overwork with young children thrown into the mix. When I told your father, he looked so appallingly shocked for a moment, I thought he might faint. Then after the initial shock had passed he burst into laughter, gathered me up in his arms and confessed he’d always wanted three children.”

  She turned to Kate and grasped her hand. “You were a special gift to us, Kate. God knows you’ve never been easy, but we couldn’t imagine our life without you in it. We accepted you from the moment we knew you were on the way. And we have certainly always, always loved you. Don’t ever doubt that.”

  The hope Kate felt in her heart blossomed into a shiny burst of pure joy. Tears streamed down Kate’s face. She threw her arms around her mother, closed her eyes, and clung. “You mean that, don’t you?”

  “With all my heart.”

  All the doubts, the aching need that had nagged and hounded her spirit for most of her life, dissolved on a surge of happiness within her soul. Everything in her life would be nearly perfect right now, if it weren’t for Seth.

  Feeling empowered, she pulled from her mother’s arms and swiped away her tears. “I need to fix my face and get to the studio. I have a man to catch.”

  Kate slid off the stool and headed upstairs. She’d be damned if she was going to be just friends with Seth Fallon for the rest of her life.

  Hot studio lights brightened center stage of Channel Four and beamed over Kate. She occupied the sofa next to Ms. Landers who sat in her signature wingback chair and took her cues from a man off camera wearing headphones. The show was about to begin, and her biggest fear had come to pass.

  Seth wasn’t going to appear.

  She couldn’t believe it. A dull ache throbbed in her heart. Disappointment spread through her veins. She smoothed her h
ands over the bright green fabric of the dress that covered her from neck to toes except for her arms, which were bare. A gold bracelet winked in the intense light, and nervously Kate turned it around and around her wrist. Slim columns of green dangled from her ears.

  Seth had lost the bet and blown her off. Just like that.

  Friendship. He didn’t even want that.

  A camera perched to her left, and one to her right, plus two more on the other side, with thick cables curling over the glossy tile floor. The studio audience packed the rows of available seats. People stood in clusters directly behind the bank of chairs and along the sides of the studio. They jammed themselves in up to the border of the stage where more people huddled on the floor.

  She was always so cheerful, so optimistic, but not today. Her nerves fired sporadically, and a hot ball of tension burned through her gut. How could he do this to her?

  The sound of the show’s familiar theme music drew her attention. Kate watched as the off-camera announcer signaled Ms. Landers by holding up his hand and counting backward from five.

  “Good evening, Denver!” The audience responded to Ms. Lander’s statement with a flurry of clapping and shrill whistles.

  “Welcome to the Martina Landers Show.” Ms. Landers looked out over the audience. Their chart sat on an easel to the left of the sofa. “What a crowd. Thank you all so much for coming out tonight. This could be our biggest audience yet.” She smiled and clapped her hands right along with the audience. Kate wished a hole would open up in the floor so she could drop through it and disappear. The humiliation she felt was acute.

  “As most of you know, we usually have a different slate each week,” Ms. Landers began, “a diverse set of guests who discuss tantalizing and intriguing topics. Tonight we are welcoming back one of our guests from last week. Remember the lingerie shop owner and the astronomy professor?”

  The audience responded with a whirl of applause.

  “For our viewers who missed last week’s show, let me give you a quick recap.”