Desperate (Harris Trilogy Book One)

by Teresa Greene

  “We will work something out.”

  Out of the corner of her eye she could see Mike watching her. By his expression, he was shocked at her transformation. He finally found his tongue. “Yes Kate, I don’t think you can wear your uniform at Harris Plantation.”

  She glared at him. For some reason he said all the wrong things to her. Nevertheless, she couldn’t give him a piece of her mind in front of David’s parents.

  Myra snapped, “Mike, Kate felt she did not have an alternative course of action. She did what she felt she had to do to survive.”

  Mike blushed at the scolding. “I’m sorry, Myra. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’ll try to be more considerate.”

  “Don’t apologize to me. Kate deserves your apology.” Myra scowled at him waiting for an apology Kate doubted she’d get. He had a very low opinion of her because of her deceit. Never would she be able to make him understand how desperate she was to escape Bob Lewis.

  Mike offered her a warm smile. “I’m sorry, Kate. I’ll try to be more sensitive to your situation.”

  “Apology accepted.” She tried to smile but found it difficult with him in such close proximity. Did he not realize he was being rude staring at her so openly? She looked away and tried to focus on the table. Everything was beautiful. The gleaming white dishes looked expensive. It was her first time dining at a fancy table, and hoped she could remember all the etiquette rules her mother had taught her.

  The perfectly set table caused her to think of her yellowed and chipped dishes back home. None of the pieces matched. Funny, it never bothered her that she didn’t grow up in a fancy home. Her parents had taught her to appreciate what God had provided.

  Kate had never had a meal as tasty as the roast beef, whole white potatoes, spring squash, and corn. She wanted to feast, to gorge, but she forced herself to savor every bite. Infantry food lacked taste and nutrition. When she was growing up, food was abundant. After the tragedy of her mother and father dying, it was difficult to plant and maintain a garden. If not for the food the neighbors gave in payment for medical treatment her grandmother provided, they would have starved.

  Silent, Kate listened as the rest of the meal was spent in conversation about the war. Mike spoke of the strategic brilliance of Lee and Jackson at Chancellorsville. He told of the tragic wounding of Jackson.

  With a look of horror on her face, Myra asked, “Kate, I pray to God you did not fight on the battlefield?”

  “Thank goodness no, Mrs. Harris. My gender had been discovered before I had to participate in a battle. David asked me to help at the field hospital until the battle at Chancellorsville was over. My grandmother was a healer and she taught me a lot about natural remedies. So I assisted with surgery, administered medicine, and changed bandages. I watched so many of our young men and boys lose limbs because there were only two field surgeons to try to save them. Many died from infections because there was not enough medicine. There were not enough supplies or proper nutrition for the injured soldiers. The conditions were deplorable.” She visibly shuttered remembering what the patients endured.

  “I admire you. I would have swooned at the first sight of blood. You must have a constitution of iron.”

  “It was horrific at first, but I had to do something to help. I had no idea of the conditions our troops were enduring. I can’t wait until the war is over and they can come home.”

  Edward raised his glass of tea in the air and toasted Kate. “I couldn’t have said it better myself. I can’t wait until David, Mike, and all our Southern troops are home to stay, and we can return to our normal lives. Just the thought of having both our sons and our daughter, Dana, home gives me hope.” As if his throat were suddenly dry, he took a sip of tea. “The will of God and our hope is what will pull us through to the end.”

  Pushing back his chair, Mike stood. “If I’m going to spend any time with my parents I had better get going. Supper was delicious, Myra. Thank you for inviting me.”

  Serious dark eyes pierced Kate. “Please don’t venture outside until tomorrow after we return to our company. I would hate for one of the men to recognize you.”

  A mischievous smile on her face, she saluted Mike. “I promise to use caution, Lieutenant Emerson.”

  He gave her a slight nod. “Please do so, Kate. I would hate for Captain Harris to get into trouble. We will be leaving early in the morning, and then it should be safe for you to leave the house.”

  He bent and gave Myra’s hand a gallant kiss. “Thanks for your hospitality.” Mike and Edward shook hands as he said his goodbyes. With one last glance at her, he turned and walked straight out the back door.

  ****

  Hearing a knock on her door, Kate turned away from the mirror where she sat brushing her hair and replied, “Come in.”

  Lizzy popped her head around the door and smiled sweetly. “Miss Monroe, you have a visitor in da parlor.”

  Curious to know who her visitor was, she dressed in a hurry. Not many people knew she was at Harris Plantation. When she entered the parlor, she found Mike nervously pacing the room. She stood back and admired his handsome face and muscular body. He was a fine specimen of a man. “Hello, Lieutenant Emerson.”

  “Kate, don’t you think you can call me Mike after all we’ve been through together.”

  She huffed, “I think Lieutenant Emerson will do, thank you.”

  He gave a hoot of laughter. “You are such a spitfire. I’m really beginning to admire you.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “That’s hard to believe when you are always making me so angry.”

  “I promise it is not my intention to make you angry.” His expression softened. “I thought I would say goodbye before heading back to my company. It has been a pleasure to spend time with you. I hope we can remain friends. I would like to see you again after the war is over.”

  “I’m not making any promises.” After their past history, she wasn’t sure she wanted to be his friend.

  “Kate, if you are waiting for David, you can stop wasting your time. He is engaged and plans on going through with his marriage to Abigail.” His voice was controlled, but had a chilling edge in his tone. “I can tell the way you look at him that you are in love with him.”

  It hurt, and she held onto the pain. However true his words, she didn’t want to hear them. “Mind your own business, Lieutenant.”

  “I apologize for getting into your affairs, but I’m worried about you. You’re very young to be making mistakes that will be with you for the rest of your life. Mooning over David is a huge mistake. Find someone else and move on.”

  Perhaps he hoped to be that someone else. It would be a cold day in hell before she could trust him. “Don’t worry about me, Lieutenant. I can look after myself. I’ve been doing it since my parents died.” She hated to be reminded that David was engaged to be married. Life without him left a sick feeling in her stomach.

  With slow deliberate steps he crossed the room. Gathering her hands in his, he looked deeply into her eyes. “I would like to court you after the war. I know we got off on the wrong foot, but I think we can move beyond what happened.”

  “I don’t know, Mike.” It was the first time she had ever called him by his first name. It sounded strange because she still thought of him as her Lieutenant; the man that taught her to be a good soldier. “I don’t know if I can ever forgive you for almost raping me.”

  Agitated, he held her hands tighter as if he feared she would not hear him out. “How many times must I apologize? I wish I could go back to that night. I would never have acted like a cad. I am attracted to you and want to be with you. I think you are a courageous, beautiful, strong, young, woman. Give me some time to prove my devotion and admiration for you.”

  Honesty was the best policy. Perhaps she shouldn’t give him false hope. “I am in love with David. I hate to admit it. I know he is engaged to another woman but I can’t help my feelings. God, I wish I could.”

  “In time you can forget him. Just giv
e me a chance to help you forget.”

  She tried to pull her hands from Mike’s grasp, but he would not release them. She sighed in exasperation. “I cannot make a decision now. I need time to work out my problems on my own.”

  She saw the hope in his eyes, hope she should not be giving him. Never could she have feelings for a man that tried to rape her.

  “I’ll write you Kate, and if you leave Harris Plantation please let me know where you relocate. If nothing else, we can be friends.”

  She forced a smile. “Friends it is, Mike.”

  “Goodbye, Kate. It has certainly been an honor getting to know you.” He lifted both her hands to his lips, and kissed them sensually before he turned and walked out the door.

  She padded to the window and pulled back the curtain. He was a handsome man, but she just did not get a thrill when he touched her as she did when David touched her. He mounted his horse, and as if he felt her eyes upon him, he looked straight at the window where she stood. He smiled and saluted before reining his horse around and galloping away, the other two soldiers following behind. How did her life get so complicated?

  ****

  It felt wonderful to don a dress, and look like a female again. Kate ran her hands over the simple dress Lizzy altered to fit her. Even though it was nothing fancy, it was still nicer than any dress she ever owned. She was almost glad the deception was over and she could be herself without any pretense. The stress of walking, talking, and thinking like a man had been difficult.

  She ran down the stairs in a rush to see the rest of the plantation grounds. Never had she seen a more beautiful place in her life. The sun shone brightly as she walked to the back of the house. Big, green plants growing against the house were breathtaking. Huge trees shaded the backyard. Flowers lined the walkway with a burst of color. Red, white, pink, purple, the colors were vibrant and gorgeous.

  She continued along the walkway until she came to the small cabins that housed the slaves who worked the fields surrounding the plantation. Dark skinned women, some tending to children, and some cooking in big kettles over fires, worked or lounged in front of the cabins. Cabins that looked nothing like the stories she had heard. She had heard terrible stories of slaves living in shacks in danger of falling down upon them. The cabins looked sturdy and comfortable. It was evident the Harris family did not treat their slaves like animals.

  One, tall, thin woman with a baby propped on her hip stood and waved. Several children ran around her feet giggling, playing, enjoying being young without responsibilities. The Harris family must be very rich. There were rows and rows of the neat cabins.

  In the distance she saw the stables and decided to venture inside. As she strolled along the alley way she was amazed. She didn’t know much about horseflesh, but they looked like powerful animals. All were tall and muscular. A huge, black horse stomped and snorted as she passed by. He was very intimidating, so she kept her distance from his dangerous hooves.

  In the last stall was Betsy, the horse she rode to Harris Plantation. Mike must have left the gentle horse there for her to ride since the other horses seemed too high strung for someone with her limited experience. Betsy neighed when she saw Kate. “Betsy! I’m so glad to see you.” She wrapped her arms around Betsy’s head and was thrilled when she returned the gesture with a warm nuzzle.

  “Would you like to go for a ride, Kate?”

  She whirled around to see Myra’s warm smile. Dressed in a well fitting riding habit, she looked very pretty. “You can wear one of my riding habits until we can get you fitted for some new clothes. It may be a little long, but it will suffice.”

  “I would love to go for a ride. I want to see the rest of your beautiful plantation.”

  Chapter Seven

  As the two women rode along Harris land, Kate was amazed at the gorgeous view. There were fields of cotton and tobacco as far as the eye could see. Slaves worked in the fields with the warm, spring, sun bearing down on them. Sweat gleamed on their muscular bodies as they chopped and weeded the neat rows of cotton. They were singing “Amazing Grace” in harmony as they labored in the sun. Their voices were the most beautiful Kate had ever heard.

  “Your lovely plantation is nothing like the horrid stories I have heard about slaves being beaten and starved. Everyone seems to be treated kindly.”

  “We treat them like human beings. We have never flogged anyone, and we make sure they have proper nutrition. Without the essentials of life: shelter, food, and medical attention, they couldn’t be productive.”

  Impressed with Myra’s kindness, she asked. “Have you had any slaves run away to the North?”

  “Yes, we have lost a few. We have put up posters offering rewards hoping they will be returned because we have spent money for them. I have to admit the war has taken a toll on us. Adding to the financial burden of losing slaves, we have also spent every spare cent to help with the war effort, as well as most of our neighbors.”

  Her tone changed. “Speaking of neighbors, David informed me my grandfather, Roy Talbert, has a plantation close by. Are you friends with him?”

  “Yes, I consider him a friend. After your grandmother’s death he has become somewhat of a recluse. Rarely does he attend social functions or appear in public.”

  Myra tilted her head and smiled. “I knew your mother when she ran away with Roy’s overseer. Your grandfather and grandmother were devastated. It’s hard for you to understand, but your mother broke your grandparents’ hearts.”

  The light in her eyes dimmed with worry. “David conveyed in his letter you are angry about the situation and will have nothing to do with him. I really think you should give him a chance to explain and forgive him. I know for a fact Roy would be ecstatic to know he has a granddaughter.”

  Just speaking of her grandfather had her temper rising. “No, I will never forgive him for denouncing my mother. My parents were hopelessly in love. I can’t believe he forbad her to marry him, all because of his social standing. My grandfather is a snob.”

  Myra pleaded with her to understand. “I’m sure if he had it to do over again, he would handle the situation much differently. He lost his only child because of his stubbornness. I’m sure he saw the mistake he made after it was too late.”

  Kate raised her chin stubbornly. “I’m sorry, Myra. I just don’t want to speak of him ever again. Please don’t tell him I am here. I plan on leaving as soon as I find employment. There is no reason to notify him because I will not be here long.”

  “It is your decision, Kate. I just think you are giving up on a chance to be with your last living family member. Take it from someone older and wiser; sometimes it is best to forgive and forget.”

  For over an hour they rode in total silence. The countryside was so lovely, Kate was fascinated. Her bad mood couldn’t last in the surrounding beauty. The rolling hills, huge lush trees, and well-tended fields were so appealing to the eye.

  In the distance, Kate saw a cloud of dust. Hand above her eyes to block out the sun, she stood in the stirrups so she could get a better look. A horse and its rider thundered over the terrain. They both reined in their horses and waited for the solitary rider.

  Shocked at the sight of the magnificent, black horse barreling down on them, Kate gripped the saddle horn with both hands. Betsy sidestepped almost causing her to fall from her back. Gaining control of her horse, she fought the urge to scream at the rider for being so careless. The rider roughly jerked on the reins stopping her horse, which was lathered with flanks heaving, his nostrils flaring.

  “Hello, Abigail. How are you today?”

  “Fine thank you, Myra.”

  Odd, Myra didn’t seem surprised at Abigail’s unladylike behavior. She felt sympathy for the horse because he looked as if he had been ridden pretty hard. Drool dripped from his mouth and he chewed on the bit as if he were in pain.

  “Abigail, this is Kate Monroe. She is visiting for a few days.”

  Her hands clenched and unclenched around the reins of h
er horse. So this was the woman David was going to marry. Long jet-black hair, rosy complexion, tall, and lean, she was gorgeous. Her riding habit, which was made of very expensive cloth, looked fabulous on her thin body. Kate immediately hated her.

  Abigail tipped her head as she tossed back her black tresses. “Hello, it is nice to meet you.”

  She tried to give a genuine smile, but it was extremely difficult to manage under the circumstances. “Hello.”

  Completely ignoring Kate, Abigail turned her attention to Myra. “Have you gotten a letter from David this week?”

  “No, not this week, I’m sure he is very busy and hasn’t had time to write. David’s last letter conveyed the fighting has intensified. Have you not received a letter this week?”

  “No, and I’m worried. It is not like him.” She dug into her pocket, pulled out a fancy, lace handkerchief, and dabbed at the dust on her face. “He has written me every week since he left to serve. This is the first week I have not heard from him.” Her bottom lip poked out like a spoiled child as she pouted.

  “I’m sure he has good reason, Abigail. Please stop your fretting.”

  It hurt Kate to hear Abigail talk about David. How would she react if she knew she had slept with her fiancé and was madly in love with him?

  They rode back to Harris Plantation together. Abigail chatted happily, mostly about the wedding she was planning, and Myra listened. A knot as big as her fist formed in her stomach thinking about David and Abigail spending the rest of their lives together. She had no chance against someone as spirited and gorgeous as Miss Weatherly.

  Later back at the house, they sat on the south terrace. “Would you like to join us for tea, Abigail?”

  “I would love to,” she answered.

  Myra called for Lizzy. “Would you please bring us some ice tea?”

  With a nod, Lizzy disappeared into the house.

  Kate couldn’t tolerate being in the company of the woman any longer. “I think I’ll go to my room and rest before lunch, Myra. I’ve been traveling for several days and I’m exhausted.” Anxious to be away from the beautiful Abigail, she pushed her chair back and stood.