Something Other than Fear

by Taylor, Kerry

  Only one thing was going through my head then. Where was Rob?

  JACK

  Cal was utilising his police negotiation skills, trying to keep Phil calm so he wouldn’t lose it and hit the trigger. The gun was pressed right to Lucy’s temple, so I dare not risk tackling him and reaching for my gun was out of the question. The guy was clearly unstable, and I knew we needed to be very careful.

  Lucy was barely standing. Her right ankle was badly fractured, as was her left arm and she had been beaten beyond recognition. Her face was badly swollen, and bleeding and she was struggling to breathe. She was trembling and her lips were blue. I was worried hypothermia was setting in. It was minus five and snowy out, it wouldn’t be much better in the warehouse and she had on a flimsy dress, which wasn’t what she had been wearing when she had been taken. I lay that worrying realisation aside and tried to focus on getting her away from that gun.

  “Look, why don’t you tell me what you want here?” Cal asked so calmly.

  “I want my fucking wife back!” Phil raged.

  “Ok, just stay calm.” Cal encouraged. We were buying time. Rob was here somewhere, and we knew it. We just had to wait until he saw his opportunity. I slyly scanned the area and finally saw him on the fucking roof of the warehouse, luckily at its lowest point, but still about four foot above Phil’s head. Jesus! It was a dangerous play, but the best we had. We just needed to get the gun away from her head, even if just for a second. It would be all Rob would need to strike. I just hoped to God he didn’t rip all his stitches in the process. Lucy was already in a real mess. We didn’t need Rob bleeding out too.

  Cal had also seen where Rob was, and I noticed him turn so Phil turned towards him when he spoke. It was the best way to keep Rob completely from Phil’s line of sight.

  “How about we come to some kind of a deal? You let Lucy go and we let you go?” Cal continued on distracting the fucker.

  “Please Phil…..please just let me go?” Lucy whimpered. She was crying and I hated seeing her so terrified. I was desperate to just put a bullet through his head, but in the time it took to grab my Beretta he could shoot her, and I knew I couldn’t take that risk.

  “What? I let her go so she can whore around with you lot again. I always knew she was a fucking slag!” Phil raged angrily. He was starting to lose it and I knew we needed to move quickly.

  “Phil, just keep your cool buddy.” Cal soothed.

  “Keep my fucking cool? She’s my wife! I’d rather she was dead than see her fucking around behind my back!” Phil was now in the perfect position for Rob to jump at him. I just needed to make sure Lucy was out of the range of that gun.

  Phil was focussed on Cal and ranting about how we were all sleeping with his wife, so I looked to Lucy. It was hard to tell if she could see me, her eyes were so badly swollen, but I locked my eyes on hers and looked down to my hand. I put up two fingers and then looked to her again. I was sure she nodded, but it was hard to be sure. I prayed she knew what I meant as I signalled to Rob with a four count behind my back.

  On two I signalled to Lucy with my other hand and much to my relief, like clockwork she went limp and collapsed down. Phil wasn’t expecting it and couldn’t hold her up. She dropped to the ground, and Phil still holding the gun in his right hand, but having lost his human shield, began to panic.

  “Lucy!” Matt shouted as I signalled my one to Rob. We needed to take him down before he started shooting. I leapt forward then, grabbed Lucy and rolled to my right, out of the way as Rob landed hard on Phil’s back from the roof. Phil went straight down with Rob on his back and Cal Leapt in and wrestled the gun from his hand. Rob was wrestling with him in the snow then, not that it was much of a contest. Rob got him on his back and punched him again and again. I knew he was capable and willing to kill him with his bare hands and I didn’t care. Phil had earned everything that came to him and much more. I sat up with Lucy in my lap and studied her. She was in a bad way, worse than I had first thought. She was fighting for each breath.

  “Jack!” She cried as she began to sob, her voice gasping and hoarse.

  “I’ve got you sweet. You’re ok.” I whispered as I pulled her close.

  “What about Rob?” She asked tearfully. I turned to look at him again.

  “He’s just working out some issues. He’s fine.” I assured her.

  “Lucy!” Matt cried as he ran over to me. “It’s ok Darling. You’re safe now. Thank fucking God!” He pulled off his coat and covered her over with it.

  “We need to get her to a hospital.” I said firmly.

  “What about him?” Matt asked as he looked behind me to where Rob was still laying into Phil with rage, We didn’t have time for it. Lucy needed urgent medical attention.

  “Rob, we need to get out of here, now! Leave him to the cops!” I shouted as I heard sirens approaching. We had called the local PD before we stormed the place just in case we ended up needing back-up. Rob stopped then and turned to me as he stood. His fists were bloody, and his face was filled with nothing but bloody violence.

  “Is she ok?” He asked.

  “No. We need to get to an emergency room, now!” I said firmly. Lucy dragged herself to a sitting position and looked over my shoulder.

  “There you are.” She said breathlessly to Rob and all the anger left his face as he smiled at her.

  “Yes sweetheart, I’m here.” He took a step forward and then I saw Phil, behind him, getting to his feet behind him. It was a miracle he could stand at all considering the bloody pulp Rob had beaten him to. I watched him, his face bleeding badly. It wasn’t until he turned that I realised he had a knife in his hand.

  “Rob!” I yelled as I reached for my Beretta, but before I even got there I heard a bullet whoosh past my ear and suddenly Phil was down, blood pouring from his neck. Cal ran over and kicked the knife from his hand, but it was unnecessary, there was no way that monster was ever getting up again.

  I looked to Lucy who held my smoking M16 over my shoulder, She was frozen in place, just staring at the space Phil had stood in.

  I put my hand on the butt of the weapon, but she didn’t release it.

  “He’s dead Lucy. I need you to give me the gun now, ok?” I whispered.

  “I shot him.” She whimpered.

  “You had to Lucy. It’s ok. You did good.”

  “I didn’t want him to hurt anyone else.” She whispered.

  “I know sweet. He didn’t. It’s over now.” Finally she released the M16 and I handed it over my shoulder to Rob.

  “It’s over?” She asked weakly.

  “Yes Darling. It’s over. He’s dead.” Matt assured her as he scooped her from my lap and carried her to the car. We all left to rush her to the hospital, leaving Phil and his accomplice where they belonged. Dead in the cold.

  ROB

  We had been at the hospital for two hours and Lucy was still in surgery. I was climbing the fucking walls just needing to get eyes on her, to know she would be alright.

  CPD had been and gone and I had given a detailed statement. Lucy’s action had been in self-defence and they had pretty much told me it would be an open and shut case. The chain tethered to concrete covered in Lucy’s blood, along with a lot more blood on the warehouse floor and her injuries were proof enough and enough to make me want to kill the fucker all over again. Phil was dead, not as brutally ended as I had wanted him to be, but he was gone, and I was so relieved to know it was over. I just needed Lucy back now. I needed to know she was out of danger.

  “Here Rob. It’s crappy, but hot.” Cal stood in front of me in the waiting room with a cup of vending machine coffee.

  “Thanks.” I took the warm cup and sipped it.

  “She’s gonna be fine you know. She’s one tough cookie that little lady.” He said kindly as he sat beside me.

  “I really hope so Cal because I don’t think I can live without her. I never knew you could feel anything as strong as I feel for Lucy.”

  “She feels the same.
I saw it when she sat in this exact spot worrying she was going to lose you.” He said with a smile. He really was a great guy. I had gotten him all wrong that night I picked Lucy up. He was smart and kind and I was so glad he and Jack were getting together. I knew this man would take care of Jack and that was all I cared about.

  “We have you to thank for getting her back Cal. We wouldn’t have found that place without your help and the way you bought me time, talking to that fucker. It was brilliant. I could use you at Shepard security.” I offered.

  “Thanks, but no thanks Rob. I got out of all of that for an easier life and I’m not going back. Of course if you ever need help I’m always here, but I’d never go back into it for the long haul.”

  “Well the offer will always stand if you change your mind.”

  “Rob.” We both looked up into Jack’s exhausted face. He looked worn down and I knew he was in pain. He’d been on his leg nonstop for over twenty-four hours.

  “How is she?” I asked.

  “Stable. There was major internal bleeding and a rib had punctured her left lung. It was touch and go for a while, but she’s good now. Her left arm is fractured, as is her left ankle. They’ve been set in casts. She’s in ICU for observation tonight. We’ll probably get her out of there in the morning.” He started rubbing his head as he often did and I began to tell him to sit down, but Cal got there first.

  “Come and sit down now for a minute. You look beat.” He said as he put an arm around Jack’s shoulders and led him to a seat.

  “Tough 24 hours, hey man?” He said to me as he sat.

  “I’ll fucking say!” I agreed. “Are you sure she’s going to be alright?”

  “She’ll make a full recovery Rob. It won’t be quick and she’s going to be in a lot of pain for the next few weeks or so, but she will be ok.”

  “Oh thank fuck!” I wanted to cry with relief, but I pulled the tears back and got to my feet. I felt the pain in my abdomen for the first time in hours. I had blocked it out until that moment. Nothing else had mattered or even registered, just Lucy, finding her and knowing she was safe. “Can I see her?” I asked.

  “Sure. I’ll take you up.” Jack offered as he struggled to stand. I knew his pain must be bad if he was struggling to put his weight on it.

  “No, it’s ok. I know where it is. You get home, take some pain meds and take care of that leg. You’ve had a tough day. We all have. I’ll be here with her tonight. We can switch in the morning.” I saw him sit back down and look to Cal, who nodded. It made me smile the way he looked to Cal for decisions. I had never, ever seen Jack defer to anyone, but he did to Cal and I knew right there that they had something good.

  “Ok, if you’re sure?” Jack agreed.

  “I am. Get some rest.”

  “Matt’s up there with her. Try and get him to sleep too Rob. He’s been up for days.” Jack added.

  “I will.” I started away but stopped at the door. “Thank you, both of you. She’s safe now and it wouldn’t have happened without either of you. I owe you both.”

  “Like you always say Rob, we’re family.” Jack said as he got to his feet.

  “Yes, we are.” We briefly embraced and slapped each other on the back. I loved this guy. He was my brother in every sense of the word and I knew no matter what, I could always count on him to have my back.

  “Ok man, enough soppy shit!” I joked as I stepped back from him. “Get home. I’ll call you in the morning.” I left then and went to Lucy. Finally I could hold her and never, ever let her go.

  LUCY

  Three months later….

  “Lucy! I told you not to do that. Let us get the boxes. You just wait upstairs.” Rob ordered as I passed him in the lobby.

  “I’m fine. You’re getting very bossy Robert Shepard!” I replied with a smile. He ran over and took the box from me. I reached up right onto my tiptoes and just caught his lips with my own. We shared a blissful kiss.

  “Put her down Rob. There’s work to be done!” Jack joked as he passed us carrying a chest of drawers with Cal. Rob pulled away and smiled at me before he followed Jack into the lift. I loved that smile, I would never take that wonderful smile for granted, I would never take anything for granted.

  It had been months since I killed Phil and since then things had just got better and better. Rob recovered quickly, mainly because he refused to rest and just powered through until he was better.

  My recovery had been longer. It took me quite a long time to heal, especially my ribs and my left arm which had been a complicated fracture. I had only had the last cast removed from it the previous week. Matt took leave from work and took care of me for the first month. It was a long road, but after three months the bruises and cuts were gone as was all of the pain and I was beginning to get my life back together.

  We were all questioned by the police, but with the injuries I sustained, the proof I had been held against my will, and the injuries logged in my medical notes when I arrived in Chicago they were satisfied it was self-defence and the case was closed without incident.

  It took me a long time to just get everything straight in my head to a place where I could deal with it. I had shot a man and though I knew it was the right thing to do and that Phil truly deserved the bullet I had hit him with, I still had nightmares about it and nightmares about what Phil had done to me both in the past and in that warehouse. The guys all watched me closely and Cal refused to have me back at work until I was completely ready. It was nice to feel so protected and cared for, but at the same time I had finally won my freedom and I wanted to get out and live my life. Most of all it was just wonderful to not have to fear that monster any longer. He was truly gone.

  There was, however, one advantage to being coddled. I got to spend a lot of time with Rob and we really got to know each other. We were almost inseparable, staying at each other’s places, after the initial, exceedingly difficult month of my recovery. We were spending every moment we could together and just loving being in each other’s company. It wasn’t all plain sailing. I had terrible nightmares and Rob had to get used to me waking up screaming. At first it was tough, because Rob wrapped me in cotton wool and became cautious about everything he did and said, but eventually we found our feet and Rob took everything I threw at him in his stride. I was completely and utterly in love with him, in a way I had never known before. When I was with him I knew I was safe and loved and I felt like me again, I felt alive and happy.

  “Come on hon. This is the last box. Let’s go up and have some coffee” Cal said as he approached me deep in thought, stood in the lobby. I followed him into the lift and smiled. I had really got close to Cal in the last few months. He was a very intelligent, very wise man, who cared about everyone, but especially about Jack. He and Jack had had a whirlwind romance in the last three months, and I had never seen a couple more perfect for each other. They had so much in common and they laughed just constantly. They took care of each other in a way most people could only dream of. Now Cal was moving in with Jack and letting out the apartment above his gym. It was a commitment to one another, and I was so excited for them as we all helped to move Cal in that day.

  “What are you smiling about?” Cal asked as we climbed the floors in the lift.

  “It’s just a really great day.” I said with a grin. I couldn’t contain my happiness, it radiated from me.

  “Yes, it really is.” He agreed with a grin of his own. We stepped out of the lift and made our way into Jack’s apartment. There were boxes everywhere and I could see Jack furiously trying to organise them into some kind of order, his OCD working overtime.

  “Uh oh!” I whispered to Cal as he put down the last box. I pointed to Jack. “He’s freaking out.”

  “I got it honey,” Cal said with a nod and I watched as he made his way to Jack and spoke to him in hushed tones. Jack stood from where he was moving boxes and smiled at Cal with such love. I watched him visibly relax and start laughing and joking with Cal, who seemed to have this mag
ical ability to calm Jack and make him relax.

  “They’re good together, aren’t they?” Rob whispered as he came up behind me and enveloped me in his arms, pressing my back to his front. I relaxed against him and once again smiled.

  “They’re perfect Rob,” I agreed. “I’m so happy for them.”

  “What about us?” He asked. I turned to face him and looked up into his dark eyes.

  “What about us? We’re ok aren’t we?” I asked in a panic. Had I missed something? Were things not as they should be?

  “No……of course we’re good. I didn’t mean that. I meant when are you going to move in with me?”

  “As soon as you offer.” I said with a cheeky grin.

  “Well baby, I’m offering.” He beamed and I almost squealed with excitement.

  “Yes! Let’s do it Rob!” I couldn’t believe he had asked. I knew we were getting serious and I knew he was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but I never thought things would actually move forward! Especially not so fast!

  “What are you two whispering about?” Matt asked from where he was making coffee in the kitchen.

  “I asked her to move in with me and she agreed!” Rob said, sounding as excited as I was.

  “So I guess we’ll be moving boxes again next week then?” Jack joked. I laughed, but I was focused on Matt. I would only do the move with his approval. He had been my rock through my recovery over the last three months and we had become so close. I didn’t want to fall out with him. He approached me and wrapped his arms firmly around me. I sank into his hold, relishing every moment of it. My brother was one of the greatest men I knew, and I owed him absolutely everything.

  “I’m so happy for you Darling.” He whispered and I knew that was his blessing. Finally I felt I was getting my happy ever after.

  There had been times in my life, in the time I had been with Phil where I had completely given up all hope. I gave up on me, on who I was and on life. I had seen true hell and I had looked into the eyes of pure evil again and again. It took me away from who I was, robbed me of my personality and my sense of self. I became an empty shell and I wanted so desperately to give up, but one thing kept me going, one thing made me hang on by my fingernails, my brother, Matt. The love I had for him gave me the tiniest glimpse of hope and the strength to eventually get myself out of there.