by Andrew Grey
“But what you did was make things impossible. Maybe not today, but as soon as Jamie says something, and he will eventually, everyone will know. And that will get to my father fast. He isn’t sure about you at all, and whatever doubts he may have will be fueled by this….” Willy took Reggie’s hand. “You have to know this town. We’re basically simple people, and they understand basic things. They’re gossiping like crazy over the mayor’s son, and Mayor Fullerton has done a lot for this town. He isn’t a jerk or a dummy. He helped get one of the family mills a contract with the state so they could stay in business and continue to employ people. He got the state to repave the highway through town a few years ago so the cars didn’t get swallowed up by the potholes. And he’s been able to help balance the town budget and make sure the schools have what they need. He’s been a dang miracle worker, and yet I’ve heard people saying he should resign over this.” Once Willy started, his words tumbled out and he had little control over them. All his fears welled up, and he tried to keep from giving voice to them, failing miserably. “You know what my father will do.”
Reggie gazed at him, head bent forward. “I’m sorry.” Seeing Reggie, who usually stood proud and tall, humbled and looking dejected ripped at Willy’s heart. He hated him that way.
“Don’t. Please. I can take many things, including a beating from my father to protect my brother, but I can’t take you looking like that. Sometimes things happen, and we have to hope that something better is going to come along.” As soon as the words crossed his lips, Willy doubted he’d meet anyone or anything better than Reggie any time soon.
“There has to be something. I don’t want to give you up.” Reggie caressed his cheek. “The thought….” He pulled his hand away. “No. I was the one who said that you had more to lose than I did, and I was the one who opened my mouth and pretended that reality didn’t exist.” He sighed. “I don’t know what to do to make it right again.”
“You can’t put the genie back in the bottle. Not in this town, and not with a juicy piece of information. My father is respected, but he’s also feared and even hated by some. And I have to tell you that I don’t know what my father will do or how far he’ll go if he’s honestly and truly challenged. No, I have to back away. I don’t have a choice.” He sniffed and his leg shook from nerves.
“Willy…,” Reggie began.
“Don’t you think I want to stay?” Willy demanded. “That I don’t want to go back to being alone in a sea of people? Because that’s what I am. You… you made me feel less alone and like I might have a place somewhere, with someone. But I was a fool… a stupid kid… to think that somehow things would work out. That I would be able to build some kind of life independent of him so I could separate and go my own way. I want to, but I can’t do it at lightning speed, and that’s what I’d have to do to be with you now.” He swallowed hard. “I’ve known you for a few weeks…. It seems like longer, but that’s all. Am I supposed to turn away from the only life I know, pathetic and lonely as it is, on a whim and a prayer that you won’t change your mind? That some… boy will flutter his lonely, sad eyes at you and you’ll, what? Give away the keys to the town?” Anger rose in him like a boiling tea kettle, filling the space by the second. He closed his eyes and tried to keep it from spilling over.
“Willy, I’m sorry—”
“I know you are. But you said that you understood and that I could rely on you, and now….”
Reggie hung his head. Of all the things that had happened today, that was probably the worst. “I know. It’s my fault. And now both of us have to pay the price. I should have known to keep my mouth shut.” Reggie inched closer, and Willy stilled. Reggie didn’t stop until his lips pressed to Willy’s, stealing his breath. This was a bad idea, and yet he let Reggie hold him tight, even lift him off his feet. Before he could protest, Reggie had him in his arms, carrying him through the house. Reggie set him on the bed. “I am sorry.” He kissed him again, and Willy wound his arms around Reggie, clinging to him.
“One more time,” Willy said softly, looking into Reggie’s eyes. “Is that it?”
“No. I will make this right. Somehow I will undo what I’ve done.” Reggie kissed him, tugging on his lips. “I have to.”
“Why?”
“Because this can’t be the end. I won’t have it. That isn’t what I want, and I don’t think it’s what you want either. So tell me to stop if that’s truly what you want, before I go too far.” Reggie stilled, not moving, their gazes locked, fire racing up and down Willy’s spine. Willy nodded slowly, and Reggie kissed him, pulling at his lips, tongue taking possession of Willy’s mouth. Reggie tugged at Willy’s clothes, tossing each piece aside when it slipped from his body. The intensity in Reggie’s gaze made Willy believe, if only for a while. Reggie slipped off the bed and stripped down to his bare sexiness before stalking back toward him, determination written all over his expression.
“I want you,” Reggie whispered.
Willy wanted to ask why once again, but held Reggie closer instead. There were times to question things and other times to take the gifts given and be grateful for them because those gifts wouldn’t always be there. The words, or at least the meaning of one of his father’s sermons, rattled around in his head, and Willy smiled and then chuckled. “Sorry.”
“What’s so funny?” Reggie stopped, his hands pressing to Willy’s chest, lips just above his. “Am I tickling you?”
“No. It’s stupid. I was thinking about one of my father’s sermons.” Willy rolled his eyes. “See? I said it was dumb.” He turned away. “It was one of the things he used to say before…. He doesn’t preach that way anymore, but he used to say that we should be thankful for God’s blessings and not question them. I was thinking that you were one of those blessings, brought for me, and I….” He sighed. “I needed to stop asking why all the time.”
Reggie smiled. “I’ve never been a religious person, but I think I can agree with that. Whatever God is up there looking over us, I think we should accept his blessings and the good things life gives us. The hardships and difficulties are just around the corner, no matter what we try to do to stop them.” Reggie leaned in, nearly closing the distance between them. Then he stilled and didn’t move.
Willy blinked, waiting as he decided if he was going to take that advice. It took seconds before Willy crossed the final distance, kissing Reggie and leaning upward to bring them into intimate contact.
Willy loved when Reggie touched him. Correction: Willy loved when Reggie touched him in a way that no one else ever had. Reggie encircled his cock, stroking lightly. Willy thrust his hips into the touch, his eyes crossing. This was amazing and made him feel alive and like he was part of something bigger than just himself. Yeah, it was only a simple touch, Reggie holding him, but for Willy it was so much more than that.
“Damn….” Reggie breathed as air ghosted over Willy’s lips. “I do that.”
“What?” Willy asked.
Reggie stroked him again, tightening his grip, and Willy arched his back, desperate for more as he gasped and writhed beneath Reggie’s solidity. Reggie slithered down his body, his lips and hands trailing behind, making Willy’s skin tingle with heated trails that burned all the way to his brain, adding to the building ecstasy. “Make you look and sound….” Reggie gasped. “Like that!” He stroked again.
Willy held Reggie out of fear he was going to fly apart any second. “I can’t believe sex feels like this.”
Reggie paused, his gaze boring into Willy’s. “It can, but it usually doesn’t.”
“Huh?” Willy blinked, wondering if he’d heard correctly.
“There’s sex, and then there’s making love. They are different things.” Reggie shifted, pulling him even closer, biting his lower lip. “Most parents talk to their kids about sex and how stuff works.”
Willy rolled his eyes. “Can you imagine how that conversation happened in my house? My dad sat me down and gave me the Biblical version of what happened betwe
en a man and a woman. It was weird beyond belief, and if it hadn’t been for the sex education that the state mandated, I would have known next to nothing other than to never, ever, ever do anything, look at anyone, or touch anything until after I was married.”
“My parents were a little more helpful. But they always said that you should wait until you loved someone. I’ve had plenty of sex, but once your heart is involved, everything changes.” Reggie leaned closer. “Your heart races just a little bit faster, each touch is amplified, every gaze and breath seems meaningful, and you want more.”
“More?” Willy asked.
“Yeah. See, it isn’t about needing to come. It’s about wanting more. When it’s just sex, the payoff is coming. When it’s making love, the payoff is in the journey.” Reggie released him, placing his hand in the center of his chest. “Being together is what counts, making each other gasp and moan. The shivers that race through you add to my pleasure. Watching your mouth hang open, eyes wide in disbelief and ecstasy. That’s what makes it making love. Taking pleasure in the joy of your partner.” Reggie’s gaze was so intense, Willy could almost feel it physically.
“So this is making love?” Willy asked.
“It is for me,” Reggie whispered and swallowed, stroking Willy’s cheek with his fingertips. “It was the last time, and that’s why I didn’t go with you to the motel that night. You deserved to know what this feels like. How good things can be.” Reggie shifted, his weight pressing Willy into the mattress. “Every time should be like this for you.”
“But how can it be?”
Reggie chuckled. “All you have to do is only go to bed with people your heart is set on. Trust me, lots of sex can be fun, but this… takes your breath away. There is nothing to compare.” Reggie lowered his head, lips parting, eyes closing, and Willy held his breath. Reggie kissed him, and the energy he’d been talking about bloomed behind Willy’s eyes, spreading through him, fanning out like ripples in a pond. Willy held Reggie tighter, sliding his hands downward to rest in the center of his lower back, pressing them together harder, needing as many points of contact, as much heat and desire, as possible.
“I believe you,” Willy gasped as Reggie slid his hands up his thighs and then under him to cup his butt. Willy opened his legs, settling Reggie between them. Thrusting upward, he caught his breath as his cock slid along Reggie’s. Within seconds, he understood exactly what Reggie had been trying to tell him. Willy was lost in Reggie’s eyes and hoped he was never found again. He could stay in those massive, deep blue eyes, in his strong arms, and against his heated, firm body for the rest of his life.
That wasn’t likely to happen, no matter how much Willy might think he wanted it. This, what was between him and Reggie, was an interlude, a last chance, maybe a grasp at happiness. Reality was waiting outside the bedroom door, and it wasn’t going to be held at bay forever, no matter how deep and mind-fizzling Reggie’s kisses were or how much Willy craved and needed his touch.
“Reggie… I….” Willy held Reggie tighter as Reggie’s fingers ghosted over his opening. Willy hadn’t been sure he was ready, but lights flashed behind his eyes as he pressed them closed.
“I won’t ever hurt you,” Reggie whispered, sucking on his ear before doing it again. Willy thought he’d explored what he liked with his own hands in the confines of his bedroom at home, but he’d never imagined what the feel of someone else’s fingers and mouth would be like. He shook uncontrollably as Reggie added desire on passion, layering sensation on top of sensation until Willy surrendered to it, giving his pleasure and control to Reggie. Willy let Reggie play him like an instrument and wasn’t sorry for a second.
His mind, where thoughts had kept racing in circles like cars on an oval, ground to a halt. Everything, all his attention, centered on Reggie. Nothing else mattered. He pressed forward, holding tightly, snapping his hips as Reggie rolled his, sliding, groaning, adding more.
“Sweetheart,” Reggie whispered into his ear. “Settle down just a little.” He tugged his hands free and placed them on Willy’s chest. “That’s it.”
“Why?” God, he was back to that.
“Because I want….” Reggie’s eyes glinted, and he slid lower, tongue and lips blazing a trail over Willy’s chest and belly, down to his….
“Oh God,” Willy moaned and did his best to keep his hips still as Reggie’s lips closed over his cock, sending him into fits of ecstasy. “You’re going to do that again.”
Reggie held him, pulling his lips away, grinning. “You like it?” He didn’t wait for an answer, gliding his lips downward, taking all of him, encircling Willy in a cave of heat and suction that stole the last of his breath and made his head spin like a top. At first he tried to keep some sort of control on his own body, but soon relinquished it, giving his complete pleasure over to Reggie, and he quickly found he was in the best hands he could ever have possibly imagined. Reggie kept him on the edge, again and again, groaning, writhing, until Reggie took him, shaking, over the mind-blowing edge of passion.
Willy lay still, eyes closed, letting warmth and care wash over him. He was almost afraid to do anything to break this bubble of bliss. It dissipated quickly enough on its own, and he sat up slowly. “I need to….” Willy paused as Reggie grabbed a tissue from the nightstand to clean himself. “Did I do that?” Willy asked, and Reggie smiled, nodding.
“I told you you were sexy.” Reggie finished and tossed the tissues in the trash, then lay down next to him, wrapping an arm around Willy’s waist.
“I can’t stay very long,” Willy said, even as he let his eyes drift closed.
“I know.” Reggie held him a little tighter. “Still doesn’t mean I want you to go.” He sighed, and after a few minutes, Willy slowly sat up and climbed out of bed, knowing the longer he stayed, the more tempted he’d be to linger.
Without talking, Willy picked up his clothes and dressed. Reggie sat up, moving to the edge of the bed. Willy did his best not to look at him; otherwise his resolve would crumble, and he really had to go home. He was late as it was and ran the risk of a million questions about where he’d been. Staying out all night was only going to add more, and those were questions he’d like to avoid answering for as long as possible.
“I have to go.”
Reggie nodded and tugged him closer, guiding him downward until their lips met. Reggie wound his fingers through his hair, deepening the kiss, and then released him.
Willy stood still, not willing to completely step away from Reggie. “I really have to go.” Before his willpower could fade, he turned and left the room, closing the door behind him. He walked as quickly as he could through the house, heading to his car, and backed out of the drive. The loneliness that had been held at bay while he was with Reggie returned with a vengeance in the quiet car interior, and with each passing mile, it grew heavier, culminating as he pulled up in front of his parents’ home.
A single porch light burned as Willy quietly went inside. He made as little noise as possible, going to his room and closing the door. It wasn’t that late, but his absence was sure to have been noticed and he was going to have to answer for it the following morning. There was little doubt about that.
WHEN WILLY came down for breakfast, his mother set his plate in front of him without a word. “Where’s Dad?”
“He went to city hall about something,” she answered, turning back to the stove. “I know he’s going to want to talk to you.”
“I’m sorry I was out late. I lost track of time.” His mom would worry, even though he’d been back before eleven.
“Please call next time,” she said gently, patting his shoulder.
Willy ate his breakfast, thanked his mom, and went back upstairs to get ready to go to work. He had to be there by nine, and it was just after eight. He had time, but getting out of the house before his father returned was probably a good idea.
As he came down the stairs, he met his father coming up. His father’s stern, take-no-prisoners expression stoppe
d him, feet on two different stairs.
“Come. We need to talk.” His father turned, and Willy knew what that meant. He was about to get lectured on whatever topic was bothering his father.
Ruthie and Ezekiel bounded down the stairs after him, and thankfully Mom called them into the kitchen for breakfast, so he and his father went into the living room. Willy sat down, running through all the things he’d done in his mind and came up with nothing.
“I understand you were seen last night out by the rest area on the highway.” His father leaned forward. “You are never to go out there. That place has a terrible reputation. You know what happened to Jamie Fullerton out there. That place led him to temptation, and I will not have that sort of thing happen to my son.” At the vehemence on his father’s voice, Willy sat back. “What were you doing out there?”
“I used the bathroom there. That was all. God, Dad. Is this really necessary?” Willy began to stand. He wanted to get the heck out of there as fast as possible.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. There was no one else in the building as far as I know, and I did my business, washed my hands, and left.”
“Why were you out there?”
Willy shrugged. “I was a little upset and drove out that way to try to think. I realized where I was, used the bathroom, and turned around.” He sighed. “I know you have this constant fear about me and everyone else, but this is getting to be a little much. I have my own job now, and I’m an adult. This kind of control you’re trying to wield is a little freaky.” He had never said anything like this to his father before.
“Freaky!” Man, his father must be upset if he raised his voice. “Because I don’t want my son turned into a….”
“What, Dad?” Willy narrowed his eyes, waiting for his father to vocalize his thoughts.
“A sodomite like Jamie,” his father finally answered.
