I'm Holding On

by Scarlet Wolfe

  “I really enjoy blues, too.”

  I ask Ian if he minds if I change. I put on a pair of jeans and a blue, button up blouse before looking in the mirror. Take a deep breath, Brynlee. You can spend time with a man besides Drew. You just need practice.

  I stroll back to the living room and watch Ian’s eyes check me out before I take a seat on the couch next to him. He turns his body to face me.

  “I bet you would even look gorgeous in a muumuu.”

  My hand flies to my mouth, and I can’t help but burst into laughter. “How do you know what a muumuu is?”

  He laughs, too, and then rests his hand on my knee.

  “My grandmother wore them. Aside from when she went out in public, I don’t think I ever saw her in anything other than those ugly nightgowns. Granted, she probably wore the most expensive ones, but a muumuu is a muumuu, and I’m saying that you’d look gorgeous in one.”

  “Why Mr. Williams, I think that’s one of the sexiest things anyone has ever said to me. To think I worried you lacked charm.” I grin and bat my lashes.

  His hand strokes my hair.

  “You’re so fucking adorable,” he says.

  I can’t stop from leaning over to kiss him. As soon as our lips meet our tongues are quickly in sync, licking and tasting, darting in and out as his hand moves up my thigh.

  We’re heated in record time, and the next thing I know, he’s lowering me to the other end of the couch, his trim yet defined body on top of me. My hands slide up under the back of his shirt, and the feel of his scorching, bare skin warms me in an instant.

  The rumbling groan from Ian’s chest vibrates against mine as his lips move to my ear, his tongue circling it faintly. Chills shoot through me, and I can’t help but arch my head back and my hips upward.

  He growls as his lips travel to my neck. I’m discovering Ian has a gift for making circles with his fingers, mouth, and especially his tongue. About the time I feel his erection pressing against my thigh, he stops moving.

  He then shifts to where he’s on his side, his back against the sofa, so I turn my body to face his. We’re both now stretched out, and he has his arm draped around me, so I don’t fall off.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you,” I say.

  “Don’t apologize. I love kissing you, but if we continue, other things will happen along with it.” He smirks and presses his lips to my forehead. “Talk to me. Tell me what you enjoy doing besides drinking wine, baking me sweets, and now kissing me.”

  Ian and I begin discussing music. The conversation lasts a long time as we talk about the blues musicians we like, concerts we’ve been to and other genres we enjoy.

  He wants to know what I love about art, so I fill him in, and he genuinely seems interested as I blab away.

  “You’ve given me a better lesson than any art teacher has,” he says.

  We make out off and on, and when we get too worked up, which is every time, one of us pulls away.

  “I need to get my breath before you kiss me like that again,” I say as I try to roll onto my back to get more air. I forgot there’s not room and fall off the couch. My hands on my chest, and I’m laughing so hard until Ian stifles it with his mouth.

  He’s on top of me, his tongue sweeping with his signature circles. It finds mine and strokes it sensually, leisurely giving me a mix of lust and longing.

  “Mmm,” I murmur.

  “I want you,” he says against my lips.

  Our fingers barely crawl through each other’s hair, and the tingling sensation travels from my head to my toes, causing them to curl.

  His erection presses against me again, but he seems only focused on the ecstasy our mouths are creating. It’s heightened yet tender, making me wet with need and hungry for more. My hair twirls lazily in his fingers, and I’m in heaven.

  His mouth moves to my ear, and I’m heaving for air.

  “You’re wanting something. I feel it. Tell me what you want, baby, and I’ll do it,” he whispers.

  “I can’t have what I want, not yet, but this is heaven.”

  “Yes, it is.” He gives me a short, gentle kiss before he helps me back to the couch.

  To take my mind away from sex, I ask him to tell me about grad school, so he educates me on law and the bar exam he’ll soon take. He has me giggling throughout the night from stories about his professors to pranks he and his buddies played on each other at Columbia.

  Sometimes we’re quiet, gazing at each other for minutes at a time, his breath warming me, a thumb skimming my cheek, fingers tangling in my hair. My eyes close from the relaxing sensation.

  I think Ian Williams has been wearing a disguise around other women because this man is kind, gentle and burrowing his way into my heart.

  Awakening the Heart

  Ian

  “I think my sweet girl is tired.”

  The precious woman against me opens her drowsy eyes and gives me a sexy smile. I’ve never spent this much time only talking to a woman before. My heart feels something foreign, yet I can’t will myself to run from it.

  Her breath keeps me warm, soft hair laced through my fingers has me relaxed, and her curvy body pressed against mine is exciting yet comforting at the same time.

  I notice her palm over my heartbeat and the heaviness of my eyelids, but I don’t want to stop staring at her pretty face or miss a second of her close to me. I’ll shut my eyes for only a minute.

  ***

  “Ian, wake up, sweetie.”

  I hear my name and instantly notice the warm body against me. I pull her close. “I’m awake.”

  “Yeah, my thigh feels that,” she says, giggling.

  My eyes fly open. “I think somewhere else warm wants to feel it,” I say, kissing her forehead. “I’m only joking. Well, unless you don’t want me to be.”

  “Thank you,” she whispers.

  “For what?”

  “For this and for wanting me … desiring me. I’ve never felt that before.”

  I kiss the top of her head.

  “God, Brynlee. I don’t even know how that’s possible. I’ve wanted you since the second I laid eyes on you. I also don’t think you could get any sweeter.”

  “Mmm, you’re sweet.” She leans up, her soft lips reaching my cheek. Something else is reaching higher now.

  “I’ll show you desire every chance you give me, sweet girl.”

  “Well, unfortunately, I have to kick you off my couch right now, so I can get ready for work.”

  “I see how you are. You use my body for warmth and then give me the boot.”

  “I’ll make it up to you by using it again soon. How about that?” she asks.

  I can’t resist pulling her into a tight hug.

  “OK, I’ll go, but you better call, or I’ll be stalking the coffee shops of Portland.”

  “Deal, and thank you for the best date ever.”

  I stroke her cheek with my thumb before I twirl her hair around a finger.

  “It was for me too, Brynlee, so thank you.”

  Brynlee

  After Ian leaves, I hurry and shower. I call Tish as I’m getting ready for work.

  “It’s Brynlee. I had a date with the handsome attorney, and I’m in trouble.”

  “Why? What happened?” she asks, sounding concerned.

  “He’s scandalous, tantalizing and sinful, but then oh so genuinely sweet. We talked and made out until we fell asleep together on my couch.”

  “Oh, no. Chickadee, you can’t handle a man like that. He’ll eat you alive.”

  “That’s what Andrea thinks. I mean, I know I’m inexperienced, but I have to get it at some point.”

  “You need someone like sweet Drew to break you in first.”

  “I don’t know if he wants to. That’s been the problem for over two years now. Ian would’ve already had his way with me if I let him.”

  “Oh, Tish, I thought my legs were going out from under me when he kissed me at the door. After that, I had to let him
into the apartment.”

  “You are in trouble. I just don’t want to see you fall hard and get hurt. You’ve been through enough heartbreak in your lifetime.”

  “I know, and I’ll be careful. Thanks for listening. This isn’t something I can talk to Drew about. He’s overprotective as it is.”

  “So long, Chickadee, and keep me up to speed on this new studly man.”

  Drew

  I arrive at work early since once again, I got little sleep. Instead of dreams it was real time keeping me awake. All I could think about was whether Brynlee was home and safe.

  I knew I couldn’t text her, or she’d start her big brother speech, and I don’t want to hear the words brother or sister come out of her mouth again.

  I also couldn’t stop wondering if she had a good time. What if the guy kisses her? Now, I’m even more conflicted on whether she likes me, but if I do nothing, then she may end up with this man.

  I’m losing my mind over Brynlee. She possesses every part of me and doesn’t even know it. Here she comes wearing a big smile, and she’s never this fixed up for work.

  “Good morning, Drew.” She sails past me to the back of the store. As always, I follow her like a damn puppy.

  “You look happy this morning.”

  “I am happy.”

  “I’m glad to see you weren’t out last night with a serial killer.”

  “Not a serial killer, but the verdict is still out on lady killer. I’ve never met any man so charming, but oh, he was sweet, too.” I see the grin she’s trying to hide behind her lips.

  “So, you like him?”

  “Yes, I like him. He’s supposed to call me to go out again. I guess we can talk about it later. Well, I’m sure you don’t want to hear about my date.”

  “It’s fine. We can talk about it.” I give her a smile, but it’s difficult to act unscathed by the news. The worst news I’ve heard in three months.

  ***

  I’m too busy to talk to Bryn again, but I see my annoying sister, Marissa, weasel her way into the kitchen.

  Around five in the evening, business slows some, so I go into the office to do some work. Marissa comes to see me not long after.

  “Hey, Dope.”

  “You need to leave Bryn alone. She’s busy.”

  “Like you ever do. That’ll be changing soon though. She really had fun on her date, and I doubt her new man will want her hanging out with you. Better act fast, big brother.” She sits her butt on the edge of the desk.

  “You are one nosy little sister.”

  “Yes, but I always have the inside dirt, and this one might just save your ass. She mentioned wondering if this guy will be a good friend, too, or if she’ll only lust after him.”

  “She said that?”

  “Yes, but worded a little different. Don’t you see? She wants someone she can be friends with and lust over at the same time. You’re already her friend and although gross to think about, you’d have her if you’d make her lust after you, instead of being a chicken. Trust me, you don’t want to be the nice guy.”

  “How do you know all this shit? And we have chairs in here, you know.”

  “Um, hello, I’m a woman. I think I’d have a clue what she wants. I know what I want in a man.”

  I roll my eyes. She’s fourteen, but she actually made some sense. Hold up. “A man? You mean a boy or guy? No men. You shouldn’t want anything from a guy, either. You’re too young.” Shit, I don’t want to have to start worrying about her, too.

  Now, she’s rolling her eyes. “I’m out of here. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

  Ian

  What’s happening to me? I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Brynlee. She’s sweet, innocent, smart and hard working. She’s not stuffy like the women in families with money I’ve grown up around. There’s nothing superficial about her, and her sexual passion is deep-rooted. It’s not only a release she’s craving but a full on experience.

  Brynlee wants to live and has been waiting for the right man to show her how. Thinking I could be the first to make her feel things she’s never felt before has it hard for me to breathe. She’s the dangerous one to the heart I’ve kept safely tucked away.

  It’s not even been thirty-six hours since I left her apartment, and I have to call her. Damn. I actually kept track of the hours. I ask her if she’ll go out with me somewhere more casual where we can get a beer. I hold my breath until she agrees, telling me to pick her up at seven-thirty.

  Even her voice gets my heart racing. Those luscious lips and dark chocolate eyes haunt me. She smells and tastes decadent, and I don’t know if there’s anything about Brynlee that’s not sweet except maybe that sensual side of her trying to escape.

  Something tells me she’ll even be sweet when she’s naughty. Her comments about how I look at her and compliment her show the physical connection we have, and then the way we could talk for hours means there is something more to it.

  Now, I have to prove to her she can trust me, and for the first time in my life, I think a woman honestly can. I need to call Drew.

  “Hey, man, it’s Ian.”

  “Hi, how’s it goin’?”

  “I couldn’t be better.”

  “I take it your date went well.”

  “Yes, and I can’t get her out of my head. I even spent the night with her without us having sex.”

  “I’m impressed,” he says, chuckling.

  “I know, right? She’s special, so I’m trying to be on my best behavior.”

  “I’m happy for you, man.”

  “Hey, do you mind if we go out another weekend soon?”

  “No, just give me a shout when you’re ready.”

  “I really want to get to know this woman better, so thanks. I’ll give you a call.”

  Friend to Enemy

  Drew

  I can’t help but chuckle after hanging up with Ian. I thought for sure he’d be dragging me out this weekend to pick up chicks, but it figures he’s falling for the first woman he meets since returning to Portland.

  I bet he doesn’t make it five dates without sleeping with her, and that’ll be a record right there. This girl from the liquor store better have graduated from Stanford or Yale and meet pedigree requirements because otherwise, I can’t see his parents being happy about it. They’re on his ass in every way.

  I go to the kitchen to see Brynlee before she leaves. I need time with her this weekend, so we can pick up where we left off a week ago. When I enter the kitchen, she grins at me, but turns back to her work table. She’s cleaning it off with a wet cloth.

  “Hi, Drew.”

  I walk right up to her, way into her personal space, so she stops and turns to me. I wipe the powdered sugar off her nose with my finger like I do every day, but I’m closer to her than normal, and I’m going to keep pushing it.

  Like Marissa said, I don’t want to only be the nice guy. She gazes up at me and seems nervous. “Wanna grab a beer?” I ask.

  “Um, I can’t tonight, but we can hang out tomorrow.”

  I can’t hide my frown. “You have a date again.”

  “He just called, but we can spend the whole day together tomorrow if you’d like.”

  “OK, what time?”

  “Pick me up at noon.”

  “Sure and be safe tonight. Remember, it’s too soon,” I say with a smile and a wink before I wander to the door. “Oh, and no sucking face, either.”

  She giggles. “Sorry, too late.”

  I spin around. “You kissed him?” I’m going to be ill.

  “He kissed me first, but I kissed him back and more than once.”

  She’s blushing, and it’s not from me this time. I’m putting a stop to this.”

  Brynlee

  Ian hugs me after I open the door. He smells like leather and citrus, and I could eat him up. He has on designer jeans that appear to fit him perfectly and a college t-shirt that is hugging all the right muscles.

  Drew’s the only other guy
that gets this close to me, and he’s six foot three, so I’m guessing Ian’s maybe an inch shorter.” I now have a mental image of Drew standing very close to me like he was today. I don’t know what’s up with him.

  I’m surprised when Ian takes me to the sports bar Drew and I frequent.

  “Have you been here before?” I ask.

  “Yes, I have a close friend that lives in Pearl, so I’ve spent a lot of time in the area.”

  We go inside and find a booth. It feels very strange to be here with someone besides Drew. What would Ian think about me having a close male friend? Oh my gosh, I’m thinking too far ahead. It’s only our third date.

  “Have you been here?” he asks.

  “Many times. I love their nachos and wings.”

  “Then that’s what we’ll get.” After we order, Ian reaches across the table and takes hold of my hand. “I’ve been thinking about you a lot, Brynlee. I start work Monday, and I don’t know how I’m going to concentrate when a pretty brunette is all I can think about.”

  “Thank you. You’re always saying the sweetest things to me, and I’m afraid saying thank you is going to seem meaningless before long.”

  His gaze never leaves mine as we sit quiet for a minute. I shake my finger at him. “You’re giving me that look again.”

  “It’s because I’m thinking it again,” he says dead serious. Oh, I want him to take me to bed and show me everything he knows. I think.

  There’s no doubt I lust this man, and I like him, too, but the physical component is so strong that I’m worried I won’t see past it, and I’ll jump into something that could lead me to heartache.

  “Dance with me,” he says.

  I snap out of my gaze and hear the slow song playing. “There’s no one dancing.”

  “There always has to be that first couple. Dance with me, Brynlee.” He’s getting out of the booth and coming over to me. He holds his hand out, knowing I can’t say no. That look makes me want to dance, but that’s what concerns me. I’m worried those eyes alone will convince me to do anything he wants.