Addicted to You

by Colina Brennan

  “So what are you doing then?”

  “It’s none of your business. Why are you talking to me?” She didn’t sound nearly as annoyed as he knew she could. He considered it a victory.

  He thought about how to answer her question. ‘Because I like you’ would probably be too honest at this point. Or would it? She had kissed him first.

  Speaking of which, her lips were stained red, the color made even darker by the dim lighting. They looked very kissable.

  Seeing the direction of his gaze, she visibly swallowed—his eyes followed the motion of her throat—before her tongue darted out to moisten her bottom lip. Will’s stomach tightened.

  His mind grasped for words as his feet moved forward, seized by the desire to erase the space between them.

  “Are you against talking? Actually, don’t answer that.” Judging by how forthcoming she was at the meetings, he already knew the answer.

  She rolled her eyes and didn’t budge even though he was now close enough that the edge of the phone clutched in her hand touched his chest. “I’m taking pictures to put up on the drama department’s website,” she mumbled, her words sounding like an afterthought. “They couldn’t get one of the photography students to do it.”

  Did that mean she worked on the University websites? He smiled at the unwitting clue she’d given him about where he might be able to find her again.

  She fingered the edge of her phone, her knuckles brushing against him. This close, he could practically feel the tension melt from her body, transforming into something else, something that set the air between them crackling. It occurred to him that there was no counselor lurking in the shadows, waiting to punish their disregard of his lessons.

  “That’s cool,” he said, leaning down a bit, gauging her response. “Are you coming to see it next weekend?”

  “Probably not.” She’d spoken in almost a whisper, her breath warm against the hollow of his neck.

  He grasped her wrist and stepped back. She looked surprised and, to Will’s pleasure, disappointed that he hadn’t kissed her. With a light tug, he pulled her down the aisle until they were standing next to the back row, in front of the exit, shrouded in darkness. She seemed to have picked up on his intent because she shoved her phone into a hidden pocket in her skirt.

  Before she’d even finished, he had her backed up against the armrest of an aisle seat. Her hands found his upper arms, fingers tight against him, bracing. His eyes had quickly readjusted to the dark, and he could see the way she looked at him from beneath those thick lashes. Expectant. Wanting. It made him burn.

  Chapter Twelve

  “Did you mean it?” he whispered. “What you said at the last meeting. That you’re only there because your roommate forced you?” Because if that were true, it would mean she didn’t have a sex addiction, and he would feel less like an arse for wanting her, for what he was about to do.

  Her brows pulled together into a distracted frown. “What does it matter?”

  He waited, counting her quickening breaths against his collarbones. Each one sent odd jolts down his chest and arms. There was nothing he could say that wouldn’t be incriminating.

  She tilted her head a bit, her cheek brushing his jaw. “Yes,” she whispered.

  Despite her confirmation, she looked … not exactly doubtful, but not fully convinced either. Maybe she really didn’t know. Maybe her roommate was right about her.

  Too bad that didn’t change how he felt at all.

  So he kissed her anyway. Her lips were soft, achingly so, and he moved against her with barely restrained want. For her part, she didn’t seem to mind. Her palms slid up his shoulders and into his hair, gripping hard as she arched against him.

  His own hands found their way to her face, cupping it with the sort of reverence he would have been embarrassed about if he were thinking clearly. His fingers curled against the soft skin just beneath her ears, his mouth drawing ragged breaths from her. His own chest felt in short supply of oxygen as well, but he couldn’t bring himself to break away.

  Reaching down, he gripped the backs of her thighs and lifted her onto the armrest of the aisle seat. She immediately wrapped her legs around his waist, and the throaty whimper that escaped her as he settled against her was intoxicating. He pulled back just far enough to see her, to take in her hooded eyes and parted lips, her clear anticipation, before he leaned back in and trailed his tongue along the swell of her bottom lip. She nipped him lightly in response before deepening the kiss. Her legs tightened around him, her hips moving in response to his own tight, deliberate thrusts. There were too many layers between them. He ached to be inside her.

  Everything faded away. There was nothing but the two of them, her hands in his hair, her mouth against his, and her body wrapped around him.

  His fingers found the bottom hem of her blouse and brushed it aside until he felt warm, satin skin. She made a ragged sound of encouragement, her own fingers digging into his shoulder blades. He slid his palm up her side, loving the feel of her arching against him, until he touched the edge of her bra. Her lips broke away as she tilted her head back to drag in air, and he took the opportunity to press kisses down the side of her neck.

  He could feel her shaking against him, the desire between them almost frightening in intensity. His fingers slid over the slippery fabric of her bra as he cupped her breast. She gave a quiet moan, moving her hips in earnest now. His other hand gripped her hip and pulled her tighter against him, the dry friction agonizingly sweet and yet not enough.

  He whispered against her neck, “I want you.”

  She whispered back, “Take me.”

  Fuck. There went his self-control.

  Supporting her weight, he straightened, shifting so that his back rested against the cool metal door of the exit. Reluctantly, he slowly lowered her to the floor, groaning as she deliberately rocked against his aching erection.

  His hand found hers and held on as he turned and reached for the exit.

  “Dude, where are you?”

  Both of them froze. Finn was coming up the aisle, squinting into the darkness in search of him.

  The sound of their heavy breaths felt suddenly like guilt. She snatched her hand from his and took several large steps away. The seconds it took Finn to reach them felt stretched, and at the same time, not long enough.

  Awareness filled the silence—awareness of the physical distance between them now, of the cool air returning reason to their muddled thoughts, of what they had both been eager for and the shadow of doubt that maybe they should have been more sensible. Should he apologize? But he wasn't sorry, and he had a feeling she wasn't either.

  Their gazes met, and he could practically see her expression go carefully, deliberately blank. She was shutting him out.

  Will was stunned by how much that hurt.

  “Hey.” Finn was close enough now that he’d finally spotted him. Since the aisle was narrow, Finn immediately saw Will’s company as well. “What’s up?”

  “I have to go,” she said, sounding amazingly composed considering what they’d just been doing. She reached for the door. He stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. She glared at his touch, but he was grateful when she made no move to sever the contact.

  He licked his dry lips. With the haze of want having faded to a low burn, easily ignored for the time being, all he wanted now was to be able to talk with her, to have the chance to ask her on that date. And knowing her name would be great, too.

  “My friend and I are going out for pizza,” he said. “Come with us?”

  “No.”

  Her rejection was immediate. Will swallowed back the disappointment, gave his bruised ego a pat, and rallied his optimism.

  “At least introduce me first,” Finn said, looking between them with an expression that was hard to make out.

  Will shifted so that he could open the door. Light from the lobby flooded through, illuminating Finn’s knowing smile. His nameless girl turned her face away and brought up her
hand to avoid the sudden brightness. She peered at him from beneath the shade of her hand.

  He looked at her and gestured to Finn. “This is Finn. He's playing lead in the play.”

  She gave Finn a curt nod, which made Finn smile and look bemused.

  “Finn, this is...” He let his voice taper off, hoping she would fill in the blank and properly introduce herself.

  Her flat look meant she knew what he wanted and wouldn’t satisfy his now-desperate need to know her name.

  “An acquaintance,” she finished for him.

  A moment ago, she had invited him to take her, and now he was just an acquaintance. Ouch.

  He had no intention of letting that stand.

  Finn laughed. “Are you coming to see the play next week?”

  “I was just taking pictures for the drama department’s website.” She dropped her hand from her face, her eyes having adjusted to the light.

  “I know,” Finn said. “Our director told us. Make sure I look pretty.” He flashed a grin, and damned if he didn’t know how to turn up the charm. Her expression actually softened.

  “Are you a transfer student?” she asked.

  Willingly furthering the conversation. Will wondered if he needed to be jealous.

  “I’ve taken pictures for the department before,” she continued, “but I don’t recall seeing you.”

  “Nope. I’m not actually a drama major.”

  She frowned. “But you’re playing the lead.”

  Since she wasn't rushing off to disappear again until their next meeting, Will was happy to let them talk. He was less happy about the fact she had seemingly forgotten about his presence, but he took the opportunity to get a closer look at her in an environment where she didn’t constantly have her shields up. At the meetings, she looked like the world was out to get her, and she would take it on with nothing but the sheer force of her glare (it was, indeed, formidable). She looked softer here, still wary, but not rigidly so.

  How had she looked just minutes ago, wrapped around him? How would she look with all her defenses down? He vowed to find out.

  When he realized he was staring at the way her mouth moved when she spoke, he looked away. She had a fantastic mouth—the fuller bottom lip and the way the corners of her mouth relaxed only when she smiled, which was rare enough to be disarming. That mouth had continued to haunt his dreams even though that first kiss happened two weeks ago. He was fairly certain his dreams would now feature more than her mouth.

  A loud cough brought his head back up. The cough had come from Kat, who stood in the aisle past Finn. She fixed all three of them with a glare that could probably take his grumpy beauty’s in a fight. In fact, Kat’s glare could strangle all other glares, then vilify them and set their entrails on fire.

  Finn had interesting taste. Not that Will had any room to judge.

  “If you people could move, I’d like to be able to leave.” She flipped her hair over her shoulder in a gesture that was surely practiced for how it emanated disdain. Since she was an actor, it was entirely possible.

  “Kat,” Finn said, returning her contempt with a besotted grin that made Will mentally wince. “Want to join us for pizza?”

  “Are you insane?” she asked in a tone of voice that suggested she thought Finn’s intelligence rivaled a single-cell amoeba. Now that was impressive.

  “You know, the state of my sanity has been questioned before. Just ask him,” Finn said with a nod at Will. He accompanied the nod with a hopeful look at Kat.

  It was like watching a train wreck. To intervene or not...

  “Maybe instead of wasting your time at a pizza joint,” she said, her voice cool enough to shame dry ice, “you should be studying your lines. I heard you fumble that last scene.”

  “I will—”

  “Or maybe you should just give the role to someone who really wants it. Someone who cares about the play.” Without waiting a moment longer for them to move, she weaved through them, taking what Will considered to be excessive care to not touch Finn as she passed. She didn’t acknowledge either Will or his mysterious not-a-sex-addict, who cast a sour look at Kat’s back.

  “That was pleasant,” he said into the awkward silence that ensued.

  Finn rubbed the back of his neck and stared down at his feet. He gave a light shrug. “Pizza?”

  “Knock yourselves out,” his grumpy beauty said as she made to leave.

  “Can you at least tell me your name?” Will asked, trying on his best smile. He might have gone a wee bit heavier on the accent as well. He could see her waver. Triumph sang in his chest.

  “Oh!” Finn’s eyes went big, and his mouth stretched into a huge smile as he looked between her and Will. “I get it now. You’re the sex addict!”

  She went rigid. Will’s heart dropped into his stomach before he turned an incredulous look on his friend.

  Finn caught his look and immediately cringed. “Sorry, that’s not … Shit.”

  His grumpy beauty looked between them, her mutinous glare tempered by the way her brows drew together with hurt. Then she turned and stormed out.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “Can you see it?”

  At her brother's question, Leah tried to nod while squinting one eye through the telescope. The observatory staff had adjusted it so that they could see Saturn. Saturn looked like a tiny, gray planet with gray rings.

  “Isn't it cool?” Elijah asked, hopping from foot to foot. Leah leaned back and stepped aside so her brother could get a second look.

  “It is,” she agreed. She gave him a few seconds before saying, “Come on, other people are waiting for their turn.”

  A growing line of visitors waited behind them. Elijah reluctantly followed her as they crossed the room toward where Helena was studying a giant mural of their solar system. Near the entrance, Neptune loomed over a kiosk standing just inside the large double doors. It was a wash of blues, the paler shades a near match for Blue Eyes.

  Don’t think about him, she told herself. Naturally, this meant she was now thinking about him. Insubordinate brain. Specifically, she was thinking about that kiss in the theater. Her cheeks grew warm, and she quickly thought about something off-putting—Packers Cap kissing Stilettos, Old Lady and the counselor. Take that, brain.

  “Did you know Saturn has sixty-two moons?” Elijah asked, blissfully unaware of the horror show going on in her head. As they walked, he tilted his face up in order to look at the constellations mapped onto the high ceiling.

  She took his hand to keep him from running into other people. “I didn’t. Did you learn that in school?”

  “No, I read it on the internet. And did you know that Titan—that's Saturn’s biggest moon—might have life on it?”

  She smiled at the enthusiasm in his voice. “Like aliens?”

  “Like microbial life.” He looked away from the ceiling to give her a questioning look. “What does ‘microbial’ mean?”

  She almost laughed. He'd probably seen it on Wikipedia and was just repeating what he’d read.

  “Microscopic organisms. Things you would only be able to see with a microscope.”

  “Oh.” He sounded disappointed. “But maybe there are bigger things too.”

  “Maybe.”

  They came up beside Helena, who gave Elijah a pat on his shoulder. “So how was Saturn?”

  “Awesome. Don’t you think it’d be cool to go to another planet? I want to be an astronaut.” He put his finger on the outside edge of the painting of the earth, which was larger in size than he was, and made a noise like a rocket lifting off as he slid his finger across the mural until he reached Mars.

  “You could be the first astronaut to visit Saturn,” Leah said. “Or Titan. And then you could find those aliens.”

  His eyes lit up. “And then you could visit me there, and we could build an alien hotel and drive spaceships.”

  Leah did laugh then. Her brother was the best distraction from the sensory reel that insisted on playing back
every overheated second with Blue Eyes. As Leah rubbed her forehead, Helena reached out to ruffle Elijah’s hair.

  He made a face and dodged her hand. “Would you guys stop doing that?”

  “But you’re so cute!” Helena reached for him again, and he burst into laughter before ducking under her arm.

  “You guys ready to go?” Leah asked.

  They filed out of the observatory, Elijah dragging his feet until she promised another trip soon. Less than ten minutes into the ride back to the estate, he had fallen asleep against the window. She smiled as she peeked at him through the rear view mirror.

  “Did your parents do something to annoy you?” Helena asked from the passenger seat.

  Leah cast her a surprised look before returning her gaze to the stretch of empty road illuminated by her headlights. “When don’t they annoy me?”

  “I mean specifically.” She sounded like she was rolling her eyes.

  “Not lately. Why?”

  “You’ve been moody all weekend. I know you’re not on your period, so did something happen?”

  A number of things. She hadn’t allowed herself to think for too long about Blue Eyes. The insanity of it, how quickly it had happened—she couldn’t tell Helena and not just because of the risk of earning her wrath again. Something about the way Blue Eyes had touched her, with equal parts urgency and reverence … She wanted to keep that to herself. To cup it between her palms and examine it when she was feeling braver.

  What had happened afterward though was safe enough to discuss. With a twinge of renewed annoyance, she grudgingly told Helena what Finn had loudly blurted to a not-yet empty theater. The fact that he had known she was in the same sex addict program as Blue Eyes left her feeling a gamut of emotions.

  For one, it meant Blue Eyes had told his friend about her. Maybe he’d even said some flattering things. But more likely, it had sounded like she was just “the sex addict” and knowing that actually kind of … hurt. He had defended her during his first therapy session without even knowing who she was, and every exchange between them since had been so refreshingly normal. And unexpectedly easy. Even kind of sweet.