Addicted to You

by Colina Brennan

  Clicking the mouse and typing with enough force to draw the wary eye of her fellow student worker sitting a couple workstations away, she checked her email first. She rarely got emails to her school address other than University newsletters and notices from professors when class was canceled, but it was always the first thing she checked weekday mornings.

  She pulled a banana out of her backpack as her email loaded. A moment later, she dropped the half-peeled banana in her lap where it broke and smudged her jeans. But she didn’t even care about that because there was an email from Will McLean in her inbox.

  Steeling herself for whatever it might contain, she clicked the email with the subject: ‘I have your purse.’ It read:

  Leah,

  You left your purse at my apartment the other night, and I’m willing to return a portion of its contents if you are agreeable to meeting me at Vitale’s at your earliest convenience. I hope you like Italian.

  If you are open to discussion, we can then negotiate the conditions for returning the rest of your purse’s contents. Please note I’m not referring to sex, which I would never attempt to bribe from you. Honest.

  Will

  P.S. Please forgive me. I’m so, so sorry. So sorry.

  Leah stared at it for a solid minute. What the hell? She didn’t know whether to be relieved he wanted to see her again or furious that he was actually holding her purse ransom. The guy had guts, she’d give him that.

  Confused and galled, she responded.

  Will,

  I hope you realize that this is blackmail and that I could call the police.

  Italian is adequate.

  Seeing as I don't want to start getting tiny pieces of my purse in the mail with threatening letters, I will meet you tonight at Vitale’s at eight.

  Leah

  Chapter Thirty

  Since Elijah hadn’t known Leah’s address (although he had given Will extremely dizzying directions from memory), Will had yet to decide how to best approach her now. Her address had been set to private in the student directory. Short of hanging around the campus web development office or waiting for her to show up at her parents’ estate, Will was at a loss. Maybe he should just send that email after all.

  “Why do you look so stricken?”

  Will glanced up at his boss with a sheepish smile. “Sorry, just … figuring something out.”

  “Is it about your sex addict?”

  “She has a name. And I’m not asking you for relationship advice.” When James continued to regard him, he added, “No offense.”

  James shrugged and went back to typing. He’d been organizing Will’s notes on the sex addiction case study since Will got in a couple of hours ago. Will had asked that his boss remove it altogether from his book, but he had refused, saying it wouldn’t matter since the identities of the sex addicts would remain anonymous. For now, he was writing them in and he would leave it up to the addicts themselves whether or not they wanted to remain included once he reached out to them.

  Still feeling discontent, Will went back to proofreading one of James’s essays. At the bottom right of his monitor, a notification popped up letting him know he’d received a new email.

  He froze when he saw the recipient’s name.

  Warily, he clicked the notification, which opened up the new email from Leah Carter. After reading through it in confusion, he scrolled down to find someone had rewritten the email he’d drafted the other night and then sent it without his permission.

  He was going to kill Finn. Finn must have done it while Will was in the bathroom.

  Mentally plotting revenge, he went back to reread Leah’s response and finally seemed to register that she had agreed to meet him. Tonight.

  He switched from wanting to kill Finn to wanting to kiss him. Sure, Finn’s changes to his email were exactly what he hadn’t wanted to say, but there was nothing for it now. And Leah hadn’t told him to take her purse and choke on it, so he figured he should just accept the positive turn of events and deal with Finn’s meddling later.

  “I dislike the way you’re smiling now.”

  He rolled his eyes at his boss. “How am I smiling?”

  “Like Hannibal right before he eats someone. I’m planning on how to defend myself with my stapler.”

  “You’re being melodramatic.”

  “A little bit.”

  Will wiped the smile from his face. “Better?”

  “More stoic. I approve.”

  “I’m glad. Excuse me for a minute.” Will retreated into the hall and pulled out his phone. He dialed Finn’s number.

  “Did she answer?” Finn’s voice greeted him without the least bit of shame.

  “Aye. We’re meeting tonight at Vitale’s.”

  Finn laughed. “I’m amazing.”

  “I’ll have to repay you for this. I might just drop by the theater sometime this week to chat with Kat.”

  “No, you won’t!” Finn shouted. Will had to hold the phone away from his ear. “She’ll think I’m a loser who needs his friends to get me a date.”

  Will opened his mouth, closed it, and then opened it again, talking through clenched teeth. “But you just did that to me with Leah.”

  “Yeah, but you’re foreign,” he said. Will could picture him waving it off like it wasn’t a big deal. “Girls forgive guys with accents almost anything.”

  “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

  “Well you better hope it’s true when you meet Leah tonight.”

  He had a point.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  In the restaurant, Leah was already having second thoughts (although by then, it was more like seventieth thoughts). It had taken Helena shoving her out the door with a threat to paint her room in neon purple stars to get her here, because even though she wanted to see him again, the anxiousness was making her sick.

  What if things got out of hand again and she had sex with Will and ruined it all? What if Will realized she was as emotionally developed as a turnip and ran off screaming? What if one of her past one-nighters happened to be here, recognized her, and came over saying, ‘Hey! I know you! Didn't we do it up against a wall behind the library?’

  “You like him,” Helena had said. “He likes you. You said it yourself. He gets you. Now stop being chicken shit and go see him.”

  Leah had resented her word choice, but she supposed it was still true.

  However, the longer she sat, the less brave she felt. Just as she was getting up to leave, Will walked in.

  Warmth flooded her stomach and filled her chest. She sank helplessly back into the chair. Glare at him, damn you! It was the only way to stop herself from instantly forgiving him the moment he turned those baby blues on her.

  Now she was annoyed at the both of them all over again. She wasn’t a pushover, and she didn’t forgive easily. She wanted this to work out—needed this to work out—but she also had to know for sure if Will was sincere because if he was, if he wanted the same thing …

  She would be entering new territory. Dangerous territory. But she was willing to do it if it was with him.

  Will strolled through the restaurant toward her, looking unfairly attractive in dark jeans and an untucked, black button-up shirt. His sleeves were folded back, and there was something intensely hot about the bare skin of his forearms. To top it all off, his enormous smile trained solely on her took her breath away. In fact, she was pretty sure she just heard half the restaurant gasp and shield their eyes from the radiance. The other half were giving him wrinkled brows and confused smiles at the purse in his hand.

  “You came,” he said as he sat, sounding as breathless as Leah felt.

  She fixed a scowl on her face to avoid gawking and retorted quite loudly, “You blackmailed me.”

  A few people at the neighboring table shifted noticeably away from them.

  Will winced and rubbed the back of his neck. “Right, um, sorry about that. Actually, Finn wrote that and sent it to you without my knowing.
”

  She absorbed this knowledge with a growing pit in her stomach. “So you didn’t actually mean to contact me.”

  Apparently sensing the dark aura rising out of her, Will quickly clarified. “No,” he said, shaking his head. And then winced again and said, “I mean, aye, I meant to contact you, but just not in that way. I stopped by your parents’ house yesterday because I thought you lived there.”

  She stopped fiddling with the edge of the table cloth and looked at him in surprise. “What? How do you even know where they live?”

  He looked apologetic. “I had to look at your driver’s license to find your full name.”

  “My driver’s … Crap.” She slapped her palm to her forehead. She’d completely forgotten that the address on her license was outdated. Idiot. This whole time, she’d been anticipating he might drop by her apartment when he didn’t have a clue where she even lived.

  “I wanted to see you in person since I wasn’t sure how well an email would be received. You were pretty angry last week.”

  She dropped her hand and resumed glaring. “And why would that be? You’ve only been lying to me since we met.”

  “I know, I’m an arse. I promise I'll make it up to you,” he said, looking for all the world like her forgiveness meant everything to him.

  She sighed and called the waiter over. She ordered an appetizer, some fancy pasta she couldn’t pronounce, and a bottle of wine. Alcohol might dull the desperate ache in her stomach. She wouldn't overdo it though or she might end up ignoring her better judgment and attempting to get into Will's pants, which wasn't the way she wanted things to go. Not yet anyway.

  As it turned out it, Will might be the one who needed to moderate himself. He knocked back two glasses in quick succession before their appetizers even arrived. She decided he must be nervous. It actually put her at ease knowing he was as anxious about this as she was, even though the quiet resolve in his face hadn’t wavered once.

  “By the way,” she said, “can I have my purse?”

  “Oh, of course,” he said with an embarrassed edge to his smile. He handed it across the table. Leah carefully avoided making skin contact as she took it. She wanted to keep a clear head.

  Not that she was some animal who couldn’t control her hormones after making contact with a desirable mate. But you know. Might as well play it safe and proceed with caution.

  “So you stopped by my parents’ house,” she said. “Did you meet them without me? This relationship is going out of order, I think.”

  Will gave her a smile she grudgingly conceded was adorable. “No, they weren’t there. But I did get to see Elijah again. He’s a good wean. And he shared your cupcakes with me.”

  “Wean?”

  “Child. Sorry, I forget myself sometimes.”

  “It’s okay,” she said. “I like learning how you say things.”

  After their main courses arrived, they spoke a bit more about Elijah and her unusual family circumstances, and she didn’t freak out about the fact they were talking, yet again, about her feelings. How did this keep happening?

  Eventually, the conversation segued into Will’s family and his lack of desire to return to Scotland, despite that he loved his country quite a bit.

  “It’d be cool to go there someday,” she said. And then realized what she had just implied and blushed. “I mean … you know. Alone. Or not.” She rubbed her forehead. “I don’t know what I’m saying.”

  He grinned. “I’ll take you someday.”

  It was presumptuous of him, but she didn’t correct him. It could happen. She hoped it would.

  “So,” he said, leaning over the ice cream dessert they had agreed to split. “Since we’re taking this slow, how many dates should I take you on before I’m allowed to kiss you?”

  She felt her face grow warm again and resisted the urge to say, ‘Just this one.’ “We can play it by ear.”

  “And since you’re worried about sex—”

  “I am not worried about sex,” she said, interrupting him. “I’m just concerned that …”

  “Yes?” Will prompted, oblivious to the obscene way he was sucking on their dessert cherry topper.

  “I am just concerned—stop sucking that—I am just concerned that we’ll do it and then I’ll get bored.”

  “Bored with me?” he asked, brows raised in surprise.

  “Yes.”

  He smirked. “Not possible.”

  “That’s an arrogant thing to—”

  “I mean it,” he said, laughing quietly. “People get bewildered, confused, aroused, amused, and irate with me. But never bored. I promise I’ll keep you interested.”

  She contemplated the way his tongue flicked out to lick the ice scream on his lower lip. “It’s true that since we met, you’ve pretended to be a sex addict, jumped me in a dark theater, let me jump you in a dark pub, and blackmailed me with my own purse.”

  Nearby, an old lady dropped her fork in horror.

  “I can’t take credit for all of that, but aye, exactly,” he said, grinning.

  Ten minutes later, they were asked to leave for having an ‘unsuitable’ conversation in a family restaurant.

  “See?” Will said as they stood on the sidewalk, debating what to do with themselves. “Interesting.”

  He beamed, and Leah laughed at the absurdity of it.

  Since neither of them seemed to want to end the night early, Leah nodded in the direction of the small playground just a block down the street.

  “Let’s walk,” she said, and they fell into step alongside each other. They were close enough that her shoulder brushed his arm. She wanted to turn her palm and take his hand. She didn’t.

  He did though. His long fingers laced through hers and lightly squeezed.

  “Thank you,” he said, “for seeing me again.”

  She rubbed her thumb along the side of his palm. “Like you said, the addiction thing was the only lie. And … I don’t know. I’ve had time to think about everything. For some reason, I trust you.”

  “I’m glad. And I’ll be sure to give you plenty of reasons.”

  She smiled down at their feet, watching the sidewalk with its cracks and holes pass underneath. A minute later, Will pulled her off toward the empty playground. A set of swings and a complicated jungle gym with three types of slides sat in the middle of a wood-chipped area. Just outside the wood chips, a steel bench was parked for parents to observe their children.

  They sat at the bench, Will pulling her close enough that their sides touched. She thought of that couple at the library and smiled again as she shifted even closer, pressing into his side. He put his arm around her shoulder, enveloping her in warmth and the earthy scent of his soap.

  “Will,” she said. Her cheek rested against the side of his neck, and she turned her face, closing her eyes against his skin. “I feel like I should warn you I’m not very good at relationships.”

  His arm tightened around her. “Guess that makes two of us. But I’m optimistic we can learn.”

  “But I mean …” She drew back just far enough so she could see his face. The tender way he smiled down at her made her chest ache. “I can’t promise that I won’t freak out on you again later on.” She looked away. She had to make him understand what he was getting into. “And I can’t promise that any of this will last, or that my feelings won’t change, or—”

  “Leah.” His thumb skimmed her bottom lip, and her tongue tripped on her words. Her throat went dry. “I’m not asking you for any of that. You’ve intrigued me from the moment we met, and all I want is for us to give this a chance.”

  “Why?”

  He gave her a lopsided smile. “Why do I want to give this a chance? Well, there’s the issue of me being completely infatuated with you, and—”

  “No, that’s not …” She lowered her head back against his shoulder with a small smile. Her cheeks were beginning to hurt from all the smiling. She’d have to get used to this. Or just slap herself a couple times. “Wh
y did I intrigue you?”

  “Because you were a contradiction. And beautiful. And because you called me disgusting.”

  She laughed. It was such a weird feeling to know this guy, this stunning, sexy-as-hell and too-sweet-for-his-own-good guy, wanted her. And that she wanted him. Wanted to keep him. Right here, by her side, for as long as she could.

  “Don’t think about where we might be in a month or two months or a year,” he said, his voice a low, lilting vibration against her temple. “Because right now, you’re the only person I want to be with. And I don’t expect that to change any time soon.”

  They sat in silence for a few seconds. Then she whispered, “I think I’m falling for you.” I think I’ve already fallen for you.

  He smoothed his thumb along her cheek. “Another thing we have in common then.”

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Will’s fingers trailed down her jaw, her neck, her collarbones. The warmth between them flared into a fire, sending sparks down her side and settling low in her stomach. She wanted to turn and climb onto the bench. To straddle him right there beneath the moonlight and the dim yellow glow of a nearby streetlamp.

  Will grew tense beside her. “Finn and some of the guys are at a bar a couple streets down. Want to join them?”

  I’d rather have you to myself, she thought, and then promptly wanted to punch herself in the crotch. This might all be new to her, but she wasn’t going to turn into a simpering pile of hormone-charged emotions.

  As if he’d read her mind, he said, “I wouldn’t mind keeping it just the two of us, but it might be better to have more company. I could introduce you to my friends.”

  They left the playground and walked the five minutes down the street to the bar while Will told her about Glasgow. She was content to listen to him speak. Hell, he could be reading the dictionary and she wouldn’t mind as long as he did it in that accent. But she liked the opportunity to learn more about where he came from.