A Life Like Mine

by Jorie Saldanha

  Epilogue

  Yeah, right! Like I’d leave you hanging like that. I know how much you care about me. You want to know what happens now, don’t you? Well, where to start?

  My group of friends continues to date each other, break up, and date someone else from the group. Sometimes, they date the same person more than once! Cough, Big Al, cough. Excuse me; I seem to be catching a cold of some kind.

  Tom, well no one really knows what happened to him. A new RuPaul named Tomassa just hit the scene after he disappeared. Coincidence, I think not.

  Jill and Liz got over their feud with Lena rather quickly. I don’t think they really understood what happened anyway. They hitchhiked cross-country to California to show off their hidden talents on Maury.

  Lena? Well, I found out later that what she said to Liz and Jill was a full out confession of her illegal transactions. A judge lightened Adam’s sentence and gave Lena two hundred hours of community service. She was also made to attend AA meetings. Isn’t that a kick? I can see it now.

  “My name is Lena, and I’m an alcoholic.”

  “Hi, Lena!”

  Hank and I didn’t end on very good terms, did we? Well, I’m happy to report that he and I reconciled over a course of a few months. The process was slow, but the free food advanced the status of the friendship.

  Adam went away to boarding school for a semester, but came back after the teachers told the authorities that he was an “exemplary” student and no longer in need of their facilities. Now he and I are in the same state, which is pretty good. We’re still going strong, and now I’ve become one of those disgusting mack couples in the hallway.

  So that’s it, now all you have to do is wait for the movie of my life to come out. I don’t know who will play me, no doubt she’ll be hot, but we definitely know who will play Adam! (Wink, wink)