by Mistake: (Poison & Wine, book 1)

by Sigal Ehrlich

  “Yep, Billy ended up with the Wonder Woman tattoo.” He laughs. “Yes, Francis has a Wonder Woman tattoo. Sometimes life is a marvelous thing.” We laugh in unison.

  I eye Liam’s somewhat faded tattoo. “It suits you.”

  His eyes glue to mine. “Think so?”

  “I like it.” Then I add in a gentler voice, “You are some kind of a superhero, after all. Isn’t saving lives like the number one requirement in the superheroes job description? You don’t need a cape to be one. I’m sure you’re more than a few people’s superhero.”

  Liam drops his stare to the glass of water, slowly bringing it back to mine. He remains silent.

  “I read a little about what you do,” I say next.

  His brows pinch. “You did what?”

  “Read about your job. I mean, on paper it’s quite straightforward. I know what E.R surgeons do. I just, the other night I read some more. Like what a nightshift on the emergency unit is like. I even watched this lady on YouTube, a trauma surgeon, sharing some parts of her nightshift.”

  Liam looks a little baffled. “You could have asked me.”

  “You tend to play things down when you talk about yourself. Just like your reaction to what I said, about you being some kind of a superhero. And also, you were on a shift when I was looking it up.”

  He shrugs, a tad uncomfortable. “It’s not a one person’s job, it’s a whole team. It’s a job, that’s what I do. No need to—” The end tail of his sentence melts on his lips.

  We hold a tense stare. “You know, you can be a little cocky, you earned it.”

  “Not in my nature.”

  “One of the things I like about you.”

  “You like things about me?” he teases.

  I smile with sass. “Many things. Hence, your presence here.” His smile grows and I ask, “So I know it’s a crazily demanding job, but what’s the best part about it?”

  “It’s a ‘team sport.’ You get to work and learn from some exceptional people. Every day you learn something new. There are many players that work together for a good outcome. It’s a wonderful feeling to be a part of such a thing.” His easy smile turns into a yawn which he tries to hide behind his hand.

  “You’re tired?”

  “Been tired since forever,” he smiles a small smile. Another yawn takes hold of his mouth. “Sorry,” he covers his mouth, preventing the yawn from fully evolving.

  “It’s okay.” I smile. “Do you want to take a nap or something?”

  He shakes his head. “I’m good.”

  “Okay.” I stand and tip my chin at the kitchen. “I’m getting myself wine, get you some?”

  “Thanks.” Liam’s eyes follow me as I make my way to the kitchen.

  Not sure why, but as I reach the kitchen and there’s a wall between us, I release a long exhale. I busy myself, pouring wine into two tall glasses. I get some cheese and cut a couple of vegetables, arranging them on small plates. By the time I get back to the living room, I find Liam with his legs stretched before him on the low table and his arms folded on his chest, eyes closed, breathing a little heavily. I return his wine to the kitchen and lean my side on the kitchen’s doorpost. With a glass in hand, occasionally taking a small sip, I watch him for a while. I never considered myself a person who idolized others. Never had the room full of posters or went through the notebooks full of some celebrity person’s name scribbled all over phase. I don’t recall ever fawning over someone. Yet, here I stand, with a glass of wine in my hand flooded with all the feels, gazing dreamingly and adoringly at a sleeping Liam.

  A muffled sound coming from my phone that’s vibrating against the kitchen counter shakes me out of the moment. I have a little doubtful moment as I decide if I should answer Jesse’s call when Liam is just a few steps away. I finally decide that it’s nonsense and that I’m doing absolutely nothing wrong by getting the call.

  “What are you up to?” Jesse asks.

  “Nothing much.” Okay, this feels a bit off. Why am I not saying that I’m hanging out with a friend? Why not tell the truth. I take a deep breath. “Jesse, listen, you’re such a great guy and—”

  “Oh, I don’t like the sound of this,” Jesse says.

  To his credit, at least he says it with a humored air.

  I hug myself with one arm, watching Liam from the pass-through kitchen window and worry my lip. “I just want to be completely upfront with you.”

  Jesse makes a conceding sound. “I’m listening, Anna.”

  Eyes hovering over sleeping Liam, my chest squeezes a little. “There’s someone in my life who I have a great connection with, and I’d love for it to turn into something more meaningful.” I take another lungful and release it slowly. “What I’m trying to say is, it’s not the right time for me to date anyone else.”

  “If I understand correctly, you’re not dating this guy either?” Jesse asks.

  “No, we’re friends.” The truth doesn’t bode well with my stomach.

  “I see,” Jesse says pensively, and adds, “Not too thrilled to hear that, but I still want us to be in touch. No dating, as you said. I just want to get to know you better. No advances. The ball is in your court. If anything changes, you’ll let me know?”

  He’s quiet for a short moment. “So, how serious are you about this other guy?” he adds.

  “Full honesty,” I say, rising on the heels of my feet to peep at the living room through the pass-through window once more, making sure Liam is still sound asleep. “I am falling hard for this person, and I know he feels the same way, maybe not as intense, but I know there’s something there. Saying that, I don’t think he wants to take it there.” I huff bitter laughter. “He actually said it. Pretty clearly. From day one he said he wasn’t interested in a relationship.”

  Jesse listens and says, “I’ll be a complete liar if I said I’m sorry to hear that.”

  I laugh, appreciating the honesty. “So, what are you up to tonight?”

  “I’m about to dig into the most delicious Indian takeout, he says lightly.

  “I’m so jealous right now.”

  He chuckles. “Night Anna, talk soon.”

  Twenty minutes later, as I’m cuddled with my e-reader, Liam stirs at the opposite side of the sofa. He rubs his hands over his face and turns to me. For a beat, he seems surprised to find me there.

  “Morning sunshine,” I smile at him.

  He mirrors my smile. “What time is it?”

  “Nine. You slept for an hour. I didn’t have the heart to wake you up.”

  “Thanks.” He extends his arm to the water on the table.

  “Slept well. Feeling better?”

  “Fresh as a daisy.”

  We beam at each other.

  “What are you reading?” he asks next.

  As I’m about to answer, we’re distracted by a protesting growl that’s coming from the vicinity of his stomach. “Hungry?” I ask over a giggle.

  “Starving. Let’s order something.”

  I’m still into the idea of Indian food after Jesse seeded it in my head. “How about Indian?”

  “Sounds great.” Liam’s happy eyes scan my face. He pulls up a delivery app on his phone and gestures for me to scoot over so we can check out the menu together. I plop down with a little too much energy and end up falling with half of my butt on his thigh.

  “Oh, sorry,” I turn to him and find my face inches from his.

  Liam’s eyes shine with joy. “Oh, hi there.”

  I laugh, nervously. And then all humor evaporates from me when his eyes turn hooded, smoldering as they pierce into mine. My next inhale is trapped inside my lungs when Liam sends his hand to gently brush loose hair from my cheek. The light touch of his knuckles on my flesh sends a shiver up my spine. My eyes search his, moving from one to the other. My stomach coils tighter when they trail to his parted lips. Temperature is rising higher than high. I nearly lose my bearings when he cocks his head and leans forward, his mouth slowly nearing mine. I release an
inner moan when his lips are a sliver away. I can feel a hint of his breath and warmth. Any second now. My heart beats like a drum. Any second . . .

  We both jump back to the loud buzz piercing the intense silence in the room. We look at each other in surprise. “It’s the intercom,” I croak, swallowing.

  Liam who seems to, just like me, be still a tad dazed from what almost happened, asks, “Expecting anyone?”

  I shake my head and go check who it might be.

  “Delivery,” a guy says in a metallic voice through the speaker.

  “A delivery? I didn’t order anything.” Irritated he reads my details, my full name, and address. “Yeah that’s me, but I—” I shrug at Liam who watches me as this goes on.

  “Oh ma’am, there’s a note with the delivery. It says, no need to be jealous, enjoy the food. It’s from a Jesse?”

  Liam frowns at me as I buzz the delivery guy in. I avoid his eyes, waiting for the guy to come up, and keep avoiding them as I take the brown bag from the delivery guy. I hand him a note and he says that “this Jesse dude covered the tip too, but if I—” I hand him the note, thank him and turn back to face the living room. Liam’s eyes squint at the bag in my hand and slowly rise to mine.

  I’m so out of focus at this point. One minute this guy who I’m so into is about to kiss me and the next I get a surprise delivery from this other guy, who’s really great and is not afraid to show me he wants me. My head is spinning a little as I try to comprehend what I’m feeling.

  Liam enters the kitchen where I take the carton containers out of the bag. He extends his hand to the note that came with the food. Picking it up with two fingers, he reads it in a low voice. No need to be jealous, enjoy the food. Night, beautiful Anna.

  “Who is this guy, Anna?” Liam asks in the same tense voice. My eyes trail up to his. They’re a shade darker, with a glint of irritation. His jaw is set as he waits.

  Why the hell do I feel like I did something wrong when I know I haven’t. Why do I feel like I need to cull my words? Why do I feel my stomach turn at the look he’s giving me right now? The almost kiss never happened, and who knows, maybe it would have never happened anyway. The way things have been going between us I’d put my money on the latter. I did nothing wrong!

  “He’s a guy I met.”

  Wrong answer. Liam’s jaw is ticking under his skin, his eyes become brighter, narrowing at me. “I mean, he’s the grandson of the lady who owns the studio, my boss. And he came by the other day and then he called me,” I babble. “And then we met this morning . . . for breakfast.”

  It’s the first time I get to see Liam pissed. He’s quiet and smoldering and God damn it all to hell, incredibly attractive.

  “He orders you food now?”

  “We were on the phone earlier, when you were sleeping, and he said he was about to eat Indian food and I said I was jealous, so . . . I guess he decided to send food over.”

  Liam’s Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. He doesn’t look an inch calmer. On the contrary. His brows pinch as he considers me for a few tense beats. “I think I’ll head out.”

  I gape at him, then ask, “Don’t you want to eat? You said you were starving.”

  “I’ll pass. I’m tired.”

  I bite on my lip and say, “Fresh as a daisy,” under my breath.

  It all happens so fast. One second we are having this beautiful, intimate moment and the next he shrugs his bag over his shoulder, slips into his shoes not even bothering with the laces and he’s out the door, throwing, “enjoy the food,” over his shoulder.

  I stare dumbstruck, flinching when the door closes with a small thud.

  What’s the Logic in Reason?

  “Oh honey, it’s that time of the month again?” Freddie taunts, given everything he asked so far was answered with an assortment of grunts.

  “Not now, man,” I say curtly. “I swear, I’m this close to punching something, better get out of the way.”

  Freddie backs down, his hand up in surrender. “I’m heading to Poison and Wine wanna join?”

  I inhale sharply. “I’m really fucking it up . . . with Anna. Royally.”

  “Told you, either stop being so anal with your life-long-everything-needs-to-fall-into-place plan, or cut her off, cold turkey. Make a decision, though.”

  My jaw clenches as I consider his words.

  “It’s your funeral,” he says and slaps me on the back in solidarity before heading to the door.

  I nod to myself, pensive, then drop to my haunches, quickly tying my running shoes. I plunge the AirPods in and I’m out the door. I don’t even warm up. I just go for it. I don’t stop and keep pushing myself faster and faster. Faster till my thoughts evaporate and I’m operating purely on running high. I’m mentally and physically exhausted six miles later when I make it back home. I hit the shower, opting to be asleep as soon as possible.

  Out of the shower, I brace myself, holding the sink, still exasperated. Staring at my reflection I have to admit I’m angry mainly with myself. I’m not one to cause scenes or storm out. I pride myself on being a collected, well-mannered human. How I handled things earlier – I shake my head at myself in the mirror.

  Anna is doing my head in. It’s like she came along and shuffled all the cards and handed me a completely different new deck. Anna doesn’t need this; my triggers are my obligation. She shouldn’t have to tiptoe around them or try to handle them. She deserves someone who will know how to talk to her when he’s pissed. She deserves someone to respect her no matter the state of mind they’re in. The joke is, I’ve been this person all of my life. It’s absurd. Normal levels of idiocy look reasonably decent compared to my behavior with Anna.

  Walking to my room, I drop the towel from around my hips to the floor and don’t even bother with shorts. I’m exhausted. Physically and emotionally. I sag onto the bed and gaze out of the window for I don’t know how long. Coming up with a plan to somehow rectify things, I grab my phone and set the alarm to an hour before I usually get up. I toss the phone to the night table and not a minute later I’m out.

  The house is still dark and quiet as I slip on my shoes and grab the car keys. I crank the car and turn on the radio. Enjoying the empty streets as the world comes to life in shades of pink and dewy greens, I listen to the song playing in the background. Not long after, I drop by a couple of places, get everything I planned to get, and drive to Anna’s, my stomach in a motherfucking knot. With a little more than thirty minutes to get to the hospital for morning rounds, I buzz Anna’s intercom. I wait a few moments and then call her. Her voice is so adorably sleepy when she says my name. “Liam?”

  “Hey, I’m buzzing your door, can you let me in?”

  “Yes, give me a sec.” Hoarse and groggy and incredibly sweet.

  She buzzes me in next, and I take the steps up two at a time. Anna waits for me with her door open, and . . . kill me right now. Her cheeks are a little pink, she has a sleep mark on the left one, her hair is a mess, and . . . be still my fucking heart, she’s in the shortest shorts and one of those cropped sweatshirts that reveals more of her toned abs than covers it. If she were mine, I’d drop fucking everything to the floor, kick shut the door behind me and pin her to the closest wall. Deep inside I know that if I did that, she’d go along. I have no doubt. But then I’d just complicate this even more. The very last moments of Cheryl’s and my grand finale fight pops into my head and it’s enough to eradicate any taking-it-further-right-now thoughts.

  “What are you smiling about?” She questions my prolonged, ridiculous, gaping, and the smile I must be wearing.

  “Just wishing my eyes could take pictures.” I grin and add, “Morning.” Internally, I’m melting by her sweet and sexy appearance. I want to hug her tight just as equally as I want to take her to bed.

  Anna assesses me skeptically. “Early morning,” she says half frowning, half sweet.

  I nod, bringing forward the box I’m holding. “Breakfast.” I smile “For ruining dinner.” My eye
s search hers. “A peace offering.”

  Still frowning and sweet, she takes the box, flips the lid open, and checks the loot. A little smile eases into her lips.

  “It’s from that bio-organic-whatever place you like. The lady said it’s one of your favorites, it has chia, flax, and whatnot.”

  Her smile grows. I get one of the cups from the takeaway tray and hand it to Anna.

  “Green Tea Chai Latte with turmeric.” Anna’s smile is radiant by this point.

  “Hold up,” I raise a finger, indicating I’m not done. I take the small cup from the tray and slightly open the lid. I remove it completely and ask Anna to close her eyes. She closes them and I bring the small espresso cup near her nose. “Smell.”

  She opens her eyes to mine and beams. Her features soften as she continues to hold my stare. She takes another deep breath; her voice is gentler when she asks, “Did I say or do anything to offend you last night?”

  My stomach clenches because she sounds hurt, and it’s my doing. I drop my head and inhale. Glancing up at her, I slightly shake my head. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “I’m glad to hear that.”

  We’re skirting around something we’re both fully aware of but don’t dare touch. Or maybe we’re not. Up until last night, I was sure that Anna is as into me as I am into her, but then my world shook a little when I found out she’s seeing someone, someone she meets for coffee, and who orders her food. A little earthquake that brought along bitter uncertainty. “Okay, I got to go.” I gesture at my scrubs. “Rounds begin at eight-thirty.”

  “You came all the way here just to bring me breakfast?”

  I nod. Holding my hand, she brings the espresso cup to her nose, and takes a deep lungful, closing her eyes with a gentle little smile. I gape at her, my heart pounding a little faster. Something is happening inside of me and it’s definitely not just lust. It’s so much greater than that. She opens her eyes and moves my hand that’s holding the little cup my way. “I got my hit; you can have it now.”

  I take the offered drink and step forward. I wrap Anna in a one-arm embrace. Reflexively she leans into me and it feels fucking amazing. I drop my lips to her hair, breathe in, and press a kiss to her head. My lips still hover over her hair as I say, “Have a great day, Anna.”