Part of me hoped that Jasper would be too tired to indulge in any of the traditional wedding night customs.
Part of me knew that putting it off was not going to make it any easier, and besides, our marriage wasn’t considered binding until we had consummated it.
Part of me wanted things to happen. I didn’t know exactly how strong that part was, but I knew a piece of me would be disappointed if we put things off. I was curious, and I had to admit, I enjoyed the idea of spending the night in Jasper’s strong arms, gazing deep into his eyes.
The reception ended and guests slowly trickled out the door. My heart beat rapidly every time I saw someone leave, knowing I was that much closer to my night with Jasper. I tried to distract myself, laughing with Annabelle and Hazel, but all too soon it was their turn to go home as well. Aside from the servants, it was just Jasper and me left in the center of the ballroom.
“Should we help them clean up?” I asked him. It was a stall tactic, but I did feel bad about all the work the servants had in front of them. It had been a long day for everyone, and now they’d have a long night as well.
“That won’t be necessary,” Jasper said.
“Are you sure?” Could he tell I was stalling?
Jasper laughed a little. “I’m sure. I’m paying them extra for today. They also get the leftover cake.”
“There’s leftover cake?”
A smile twisted his lips. “Do you want some?”
“It was really good…”
He left me in the center of the dance floor and came back with two gold plates. Each held a massive slice of cake.
“Come on,” he said, tilting his head toward a table.
The servants had already stripped it of its covering, so we ate carefully, hands under our forks to prevent any spills.
“This is so good,” I sighed happily.
Jasper smiled at me. “I’ve had this cake a few times a year since I was a child, but it never seems to lose its flavor.”
“How is the cook doing, by the way?” I asked, taking another bite. “How is her arm?”
“Healing, thanks to you.” He took another large bite.
“I’m glad.”
Servants bustled around, pulling off the cloths, packing up the rest of the food. It was strange to see the ballroom that hours before had been full of life be so empty now. I couldn’t believe that after everything, my wedding day was over. The day seemed to have flown by in a flash, yet when I broke it all down, each part was overwhelming.
“How many people were here, do you think?” I asked Jasper.
“Oh, probably about two or three hundred.”
“Amazing,” I said, shaking my head. “I can’t even imagine knowing that many people.”
“Well, I don’t like all of them,” he admitted. “Quite a few of them were only here out of professional obligation.”
“Like the prince?”
He laughed. “No, Edward is a friend.”
“Are you related at all?” I asked, thinking about all the portraits in the hall.
He gave me a sort of side look, tilting his head. “Very distantly. Why do you ask?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “You’re a duke. I assumed there had to be some family lineage that earned you your title.”
“The Wolfric family has held this title for centuries,” he said. “In the very beginning, I suppose it was due to blood. Since then, we’ve held our position and the royal family has kept theirs.”
I had a question for him, but I had to tread carefully. I took a deep breath. “I noticed that you didn’t have much family here.”
He was quiet for a moment before answering. “I don’t have much family left,” he said. “At least, not close family. My parents are gone, of course, or I wouldn’t hold this title. I do have a younger brother, but he and I don’t get along.”
“Why not?” I hoped I wasn’t overstepping.
He didn’t quite meet my eyes. “We just…we have different ways of dealing with people. I prefer compassion, he prefers punishment. We’ve never gotten along well. He has a flair for the dramatic, and so I didn’t want him here today. I thought he might ruin things.”
I nodded, looking down at my cake. I’d never had a sibling, but if I did, I couldn’t imagine cutting them out of my life. There must have been a deep rift between them for Jasper to do so.
“Annabelle told me about Cecilia,” I said softly.
This time, Jasper was looking down at his cake. “I should have told you a while ago.”
“I can’t imagine it’s easy for you to talk about.”
“It’s not.” He looked up at me with his beautiful eyes, and heat blossomed up in my chest.
“We can talk about something else. Anything else.”
He was quiet for a moment. “Did you have fun today?”
“It was all a bit overwhelming.”
“It was that,” he laughed.
I had finished my cake. Only crumbs were left, and I couldn’t stall anymore. Jasper noticed.
“Are you ready to retire to bed?” he asked.
I could only nod.
He took my hand and helped me up. His hand was warm over my cool one. Together we left the ballroom, moving down the hall. I was terrified that I might trip on my long skirts, but Jasper held me steady. As we approached the staircase, he dropped his hand from mine and instead wrapped it around my waist. My heart was beating so loudly; it wouldn’t have surprised me if he could hear it. As much as I enjoyed him holding me like this, I almost wanted his hand back with mine to help me stop shaking. The stairs seemed like an eternity as we climbed, and my hand stayed firmly on the banister, hoping that I wouldn’t go tumbling down. My knees were so weak that it seemed like a distinct possibility.
We made it to the landing, and Jasper guided me down the hallway to my room. Before we went in, he paused, a little smile playing at his lips.
“What?” I asked. His smile was like that of an impish fairy, and I was concerned about what he was going to do. Before I had much time to react, Jasper swept me up in his arms.
“I didn’t get a chance to carry you across the threshold,” he said, “since we got married here. I would hate to miss out on a chance at good luck.”
I had to laugh as he carried me into my bedroom, my arms around his neck for stability. I had never been quite so close to another man in this way before. It was hard to believe that he was my husband.
He gazed into my eyes again, and I found it impossible to glance away. His gaze was penetrating and deep. I could get lost in his eyes, the mixes of gray and blue and even a little green, like paintings I had seen of the sea after a storm.
Our lips met in a heated kiss, my hand moving up to touch his face. The day’s stubble was rough under my fingers, course and erotic, so different from Jasper’s usual air of control. Carefully, Jasper set my feet on the floor, although our lips did not break. His arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me in. I had always worried that when I finally had my kiss, I would be terrible, but with Jasper, it was effortless, like I melted into him. I didn’t want to let go, but eventually, he stepped back a little bit, looking into my eyes. He reached behind my head, and one by one began to pull out the pins holding my hair back. My dark hair fell long around my shoulders. I couldn’t remember the last time I had worn it down like this, and certainly not in front of a man.
Like when we said our vows, he put his hand under my chin and tilted my lips up to meet his. I hesitated for a brief moment before slipping my hands underneath his coat, pressing up against his chest. As our kiss deepened I moved my hands up and pushed the jacket up off of his shoulders. He shrugged it off, tossing it over a chair without breaking contact.
My fingers fumbled at the buttons on his shirt; finally giving up, I pulled the hem out of his trousers. My hands made contact with heated skin. I couldn’t believe how hard his muscles were under his shirt. He always had a slim look in his suits, but underneath that he was like steel. I went back
to his buttons and undid each one, my hands sliding down his chest as I did so. I pushed his shirt back and was amazed at the chiseled form in front of me. How had I never noticed his shape before? This explained how he had managed to carry me and my fifty–pound dress into the room like it was nothing.
Jasper turned me around and pushed my hair to the side, gently kissing my neck. My eyes closed, savoring the sensation as lips and eyelashes brushed my skin. His nimble fingers worked carefully, unhooking the dozens of buttons going down my spine.
“Jesus,” he cursed softly, and I tried and failed to suppress a giggle.
“Please don’t tell me I need to undo all of these buttons,” he growled playfully.
“Only the top thirty or so, I think,” I told him. “The ones going down the train are fake.”
“Only the top thirty or so,” he sighed. “I suppose I have Annabelle to thank for this?”
“I’ll chastise her in the morning,” I said. “Oh!”
His hand had woven its way through the bodice of my dress, and his hand brushed my breast. I was weak in the knees again, but for a whole different reason. He kissed my shoulder, working his way to my neck again, his whole hand enveloping my breast in its warmth. Too soon he pulled it back out to finish with the buttons. I was so glad that my gown hadn’t had a tight bodice; I’d had no need for a corset. Instead, the dress slid off my body, leaving me there in just a thin slip. Annabelle had chosen a pretty one for me—white lace with a soft blue trim.
“It’s your something blue,” she had told me. I couldn’t have cared less if she had stuck to tradition, but I had to admit the slip made me feel unexpectedly sexy. Jasper turned me to face him, and his pupils dilated. He bit his lip for a moment before pulling me back into a kiss. Pressed against him with so little fabric between us, I could feel the hardness in his trousers. I pulled myself even closer to him and he groaned softly into my mouth. I had no idea what I was doing, but apparently, I was doing it right. With one hand on my face, Jasper undid his button with his other hand. I could hear the thunk of his belt as his trousers fell to the floor. Both of us were left standing at the foot of the bed in our undergarments.
We fell together onto the bed. He was on top of me, gently kissing my neck and chest. My eyes fluttered closed as I absorbed the sensations, a small moan rising from my throat. He pulled away from me to pull off the last of his clothes. He was astride me again, our lips meeting. My arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer to me.
“Are you ready?” he whispered in my ear, his voice husky.
I nodded. “Just…go slowly. Please.”
He kissed me again. “Of course.”
Jasper positioned himself at my entrance. I could feel the dampness between my legs, and as I closed my eyes, I suspected he did too. It was so good to have him there, and despite my reservations, I was ready to have him inside me. I took a deep breath, trying to remember what Annabelle and Bridget had said. Relax.
His eyes were utterly filled with lust, but despite this he gently pushed himself inside me, his eyes never breaking contact with mine. It stung at first, my body not accustomed to being filled like this. After the initial shock, I could adjust myself, feeling the fullness of him inside of me. He pulled himself out carefully, not quite all the way, and thrust back in. Stars danced at the edge of my vision.
“Are you all right?” he asked me, looking into my eyes. Despite the tearing sensation deep inside of me, I didn’t want him to stop.
“I’m all right,” I gasped. “Keep going.”
“Are you sure?”
I pulled him down to my lips, which forced movement down below, pulling him deeper into me. He drew a sharp gasp.
“I’m sure.” I didn’t recognize my voice. It was deep and full of need.
He sped up the pace a little more, thrusting in and out of me. My heart was beating wildly out of control. As he delved deeper, he hit a spot that brought back all the stars. I closed my eyes, blocking out my vision in order to fully absorb everything else. I could feel my muscles pulsing, beginning to contract. I gasped as a wave of sensations washed over me. I finally opened my eyes to see Jasper’s closed, biting his lip again so hard the skin was white. His lean muscles tensed as he gasped, as if the air had been knocked out of him. He slowed, leaning down to kiss me again. We were both covered in a thin layer of sweat. He pulled out of me gingerly, but I still hissed at the sensation.
“Are you all right?” he asked again.
I nodded. “Yes.”
I stared up at the ceiling, breathing heavily. Life flooded through me, like I was now a new woman, but at the same time, my eyes grew heavy. I was exhausted and ready for bed.
Jasper climbed off the bed and pulled his pants back on. He came beside the bed and looked at me awkwardly, this time not meeting my eyes.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, all right, Christine?”
“You aren’t staying?” I asked, as disappointment sunk into my chest, making my whole body ache.
He still wouldn’t look at me. “I can’t,” he said. Then he disappeared from my side, and I heard the door to my bedroom shut.
I gasped after him, my mouth dropped open. Tears stung at my eyes. I was completely devastated. I climbed under my covers and rolled over. Once again, I cried myself to sleep.
Chapter Twelve
I didn’t sleep well that night. I was plagued by nightmares from the moment I drifted off until the moment the sun came up. I had grown fairly accustomed to where everything in the house was, but in my dreams I was constantly lost, trying to find my way out to the gardens. I would wake up, breathing heavily, cheeks streaked with tears. After some deep breathing and trying to calm myself, I’d fall back to sleep only to find myself back in the nightmare, in a different part of the manor, struggling to find my way out. Finally, sometime after the sun had risen, I managed to fall into a deeper, dreamless sleep.
My plan had been to stay in bed as long as possible. I doubted anyone would notice if I was up or not. I was still exhausted from the past day, and too ashamed to face Jasper. I rolled over and squeezed my eyes shut, trying not to think of our night. I took a few more breaths and forced my mind to think about anything else, but there wasn’t much happiness to dwell on. Had this all been a terrible mistake?
A few hours later, Annabelle came into check on me. I rubbed at my eyes. They felt puffy and dry from crying all night.
“I was beginning to wonder when you’d get up,” Annabelle joked as she came to sit beside me. She frowned, furrowing her brow, her eyes full of concern. “Christine, are you all right? Have you been crying?”
“I’m fine,” I lied, turning my head away from her so she couldn’t see the toll the night had taken on me. She tugged at my shoulder, pulling me over.
“You’re not fine.”
“I’m just worn out from yesterday,” I said, trying to roll back over.
Again, she pulled me back. “You’re still a terrible liar.” She paused a moment before finally asking, “Was it that horrible?”
“What?”
“With Jasper last night. Was it that bad?”
“Why would you assume that’s it?” I asked her as I shifted my weight to my hands and pushed myself into a seated position. Between my legs was a slight ache, evidence that the last night had really happened.
“Well, you seemed fine when we left you in the ballroom,” Annabelle said. “You looked probably the happiest I’ve seen you since you came here.”
I sniffled. “I’m just a bit overwhelmed, I think. Jasper’s been busy, you’ve been busy, and I’ve had nothing to do over the last few days. Jasper won’t let me into the library, so—”
“The library?” she interrupted.
“I tried to go in, and he said he keeps it locked.” I shrugged. “I found a book in the drawing room, but I’ve been so insufferably bored the last week, and I’ve had no one to talk with. On top of all of that, as soon as we were finished last night, Jasper left me. I suppose I just fee
l a little isolated.”
Annabelle held her hand up. “Hold on. Did you say that he just left you?”
I nodded. “I know he has his own bedroom, but I had just expected that he’d stay for a while afterward. I wasn’t aware that the man usually leaves. It was sort of a shock after everything, and I think it just took a toll emotionally.”
Annabelle looked at me a moment, her lips tight. “Of course it did.”
“I didn’t mean to concern you.”
“Oh, sweetie,” she sighed, wrapping an arm around me. “If there’s something wrong, I want to know about it. Your life has changed radically, and if there’s anything I can do to help you adjust, please let me know.”
“Thank you,” I said quietly. I was so grateful for her friendship.
“I have an idea,” she said, standing up from the bed. “Why don’t I call Bridget in here, and I’ll have her draw you a bath. You can relax for a little while, and when you’re done, you can have tea on the balcony. I won’t be around…I have some errands to run, but I think it will be relaxing for you.”
“That sounds nice,” I told her.
She smiled. “Wonderful. I’ll be right back.”
She disappeared out the door and came back moments later with Bridget right behind her.
“Christine had a rough night,” she said. “I think a warm bath would be good for her. There should be some lavender oil beside the bathtub.”
Bridget nodded. “I’ll get right on that,” she said.
Annabelle turned back to me. “I hope to be back tonight,” she said, “You just try to relax. Things will get better, I promise.”
“Thank you,” I said again. As Annabelle left, I could hear Bridget running the tap in the next room. I leaned back against my headboard, my head spinning. So much had happened, I still couldn’t wrap my mind around it. After a moment, Bridget came out of the bathroom.
“The bath is ready if you are,” she said.
I climbed out of my bed, my bare feet padding along the floor. I went to the bathroom and stripped off my nightgown. Slowly, I sunk myself under the warm water, breathing in the scent of lavender. Annabelle was right. It was very calming.
The Wolf's Wife (The Wolf's Peak Saga Book 1) Page 10
