Anna's Return

by Sally Quilford

  “I…” Anna licked her lips, hardly knowing where to start, or even how much she could trust Madame with.

  “Oh but I am selfish. You must be hungry and thirsty. You look exhausted. Tasha, take Anna to the kitchen and find her something to eat and drink. We will resume our talk tomorrow. The doctor insists I go to bed early every night, so I will see you in the morning, Anna. Oh, I am so happy to see you. I’ve thought of you and Natalia so often over the years.”

  Dazed and a little confused, Anna followed Tasha to the kitchen. What a day it had been. First bumping into Florentyna just when she needed help, then overhearing Tasha’s conversation with Miss Templeton, before seeing Janek, and now meeting an old friend of her mother’s. If anyone had told her that such coincidences happened, she would have scoffed at them. She found herself looking upwards, even though all she could see were the ornate covings on the ceiling rather than the heavens.

  Eight years earlier when she had been frightened and alone, she had met Janek on the train and he had put aside his own problems to help her. After that, Mrs. Palmer had taken care of her. Today, when she was also frightened and alone, more help had come. Despite her father’s indifference and her step-mother’s unkind behaviour, Anna could not say she had ever really been uncared for, even if her life had not always been a happy one.

  She smiled but it was tinged with sadness. She could not help being convinced that her mother had always watched over her and kept her safe from harm.

  Chapter Nine

  One of the first things Anna did when she received her first month’s wages was to return Mr. Stephens’s ten shillings to him with a note apologising. She walked across London, pushing the baby, Nikolai Voronin in his pram so that she did not give away her actual whereabouts. Tasha accompanied her for the walk, though Anna kept the true nature of it from her.

  Nikolai had been born perfectly well, but Madame Voronina had been ordered to take complete bed rest. She saw Nikolai in the mornings and evenings, but the rest of the time it was left to Anna to care for him. Not that she minded. He was a very placid, happy child. She began to see how a baby might prosper with a mother and father who loved him dearly.

  Mr. Voronin had frightened Anna at first. A large man, with a loud, jocular voice, he put her in mind of pictures she had since of Tsar Nicholas. Mr. Voronin was apt to be a little sharper with the staff than his wife, if they did things wrong, but Anna sensed immediately that there was no bad in him. Mainly because he always came afterwards to apologise. She also sensed he was under a lot of pressure as a diplomat from the Russian government.

  “We were not popular in this country or America,” he said over dinner one night. “And…” he looked over his shoulder, even though no one else was in the room, “given the policies of the Soviet Union since the war, I cannot always blame them.”

  Despite her status as an au pair, both Mr. Voronin and Madame Voronina had practically turned Anna into one of the family, insisting she eat with them and Tasha. As if guessing that she had very little of her own, Madame had also insisted on buying her new clothes, despite Anna’s protests.

  “You are not to refuse,” Madame had said, just before young Nikolai was born. “It is the least I can do to help you, after all the time you have been alone. I should have done more when you were a child, after poor Natalia died. Besides, it does not look good if we allow our au pair to have holes in her shoes whilst we dress well.”

  Anna did not remember telling Madame she had been alone in the world, and she did not really consider she had, what with Mrs. Palmer to take care of her. But it was true that when it came to family, Anna had no one. So Madame had bought her several new outfits and a warm winter coat.

  As they walked across London, Tasha was unusually quiet. Not that Anna minded. She had her own thoughts. She had put a message for Mrs. Palmer in the note, telling her she was sorry she had failed her. She hoped that the good lady would think of her kindly. Nevertheless, feeling it was rude not to engage in conversation, Anna asked, “Are you alright, Tasha? You seem preoccupied.”

  “It is all this talk of returning home,” said Tasha. She spoke in a low voice, acutely aware that a security officer walked just a few feet behind them. His name was Sergei and he had only recently been assigned to them, for reasons that worried everyone. “It makes Madame unhappy. She does not want Nikolai raised in Russia, and even though Mr. Voronin tries not to say so publicly…” Tasha looked around, furtively, much in the same way Mr. Voronin had done at dinner, “he does not wish to return either. They have been happy in London, and so have I.”

  “Is it really so bad in Russia?” whispered Anna. Because her mother had been a ballerina, and allowed to travel, she had not really seen much of her homeland.

  “It is worse than bad. People have to queue for food, even when there is no war. Families have to live together in tiny apartments. There is a waiting list to buy a car. Those in government live well, yet the rest of us have to endure austere lives.”

  “So Mr. Voronin should be alright, surely. He is in government.”

  “He is a diplomat yes, but …” Tasha looked around again, smiling at Sergei. He did not smile back. He never did. “He is not always as discreet as he should be when he criticises the government, so he has been warned he may be recalled at any moment. No wonder Madame is unwell. It is not her body, but her nerves which ail her. Mr. Voronin has become too comfortable here, I think, so he forgets that he has to be careful what he says. Even now I am afraid to talk to you.”

  “I would never betray you, Tasha.” The girls had become firm friends in the short time that Anna had been working for the Voronins. They were united in their wish to make Madame’s life as easy as possible. It was not that Madame was demanding. It was quite the opposite. Because she had a kind heart and only saw kindness wherever she looked, they were protective of her. So they shielded her from the frightening security officers, and the other officials who seemed to want to interfere with every aspect of the Voronins' life.

  “I know you wouldn’t, Anna. But I must warn you that if there are ever any problems, you get out of the embassy as soon as possible. You have British citizenship because of your father, so you do not have to go back to Russia.”

  Since they had made friends, and because Madame knew the details anyway, Anna had trusted Tasha with some of the truth about her father and her time at Silverton Hall. She had told neither of them about Teddy’s fall, fearing they would not trust her with Nikolai if they knew. They both assumed she had left there because she was unhappy and she did not disabuse them of that notion. It was not entirely untrue. In the first few days she lived with the Voronins, she would lie awake at night, wondering if an omission were as big a sin as a lie. She hoped not.

  “So,” said Tasha, putting her arm in Anna’s as they strode along on a crisp autumn afternoon, “tell me more about the handsome Janek.”

  “I barely know him,” said Anna. “I mean … we did know each other well when we were children. We travelled through France together, to escape the war. He took care of me. I was a burden to him, I know that now. But at the time he was my only friend.”

  “I wonder what he was doing at that hotel.”

  “It looked like he was working there. His father owned a hotel in Poland, so perhaps he has managed to get a job as a doorman or something.”

  “Yes, that’s probably it. We should go there when it’s open. If we can get the security men to agree to it.”

  “No!”

  “Why?” asked Tasha. “The way you looked at him, and the way he looked right back at you outside Miss Templeton’s it seemed to me you liked each other very much.”

  “He’s like a brother to me,” said Anna. “When I lived at Silverton Hall, I used to dream that he would return for me and we would live as brother and sister. Like a proper family.” Those dreams seemed silly now that she had grown up. She recognised them for what they were; a child’s fantasy to get her through the unhappy days.

&n
bsp; “Such a man should not be a girl’s brother!” Tasha protested. “Oh well. If you do not want him, I shall have him.”

  Anna tried to laugh, except part of her still thought of Janek as her very own, because of what they had been through together. Yet Tasha was pretty and a nice person, when she was not taking on anyone who upset Madame. If Janek liked her, she would be happy for them. At least that is what she told herself, so that she could convince herself that she was not in any way jealous of her friend’s interest in him.

  Chapter Ten

  Six Years Later

  Sixteen-year-old Teddy Silverton decided to seek refuge in his father’s study. Anna would not have recognised the chubby boy in the tall and handsome young man he had become.

  Unfortunately, Teddy quickly found out he would not have the room to himself. His mother was in there, frantically rooting through paperwork. “What are you looking for, Mother?” he asked, when she looked up, startled. His father would have been most upset to see the state she had made of his desk. Always orderly, Sir Lionel did not like anyone moving his paperwork.

  “Oh it’s you, Teddy. Do you have the combination to your father’s safe?”

  “No, of course not.”

  “Really? I thought Father might have given it to you so you can run the estate. Oh I forgot. He doesn’t trust you, does he? Never mind.” Geraldine sighed. “Can you get it for me, darling?”

  “Mother, he’s convalescing. I don’t think we should be bothering him. What do you need? If it’s money, I have some of my allowance left.”

  “You are a dear sweet boy, but you really don’t understand how urgent things have become,” said Geraldine. Her voice held a brittle note. Even though her love for him could be cloying at times, it did not always stop Teddy from feeling the sharp end of her tongue when she was distressed.

  “In what way?”

  “In the way of you losing your inheritance. I need to see your father’s will, so I can be sure. You must understand that, dearest boy.”

  “Mother, I’m not worried about my inheritance, so I don’t think you should be. And you’ll have an annuity, whether or not. So you won’t be short of money either.”

  “No wonder your father is so frustrated with you. I know what you’re thinking,” Geraldine began to whine. “You’ll go off to this medical school when you’re eighteen, and you won’t care about me anymore.” She wiped her eyes on her handkerchief, sniffing loudly. “And after all I’ve done to ensure you take over Silverton Hall. And it will be yours, no matter what. Unless you intend to turn it into a hospital.”

  “That’s not a bad idea,” said Teddy.

  “I was joking!”

  “Even so, it isn’t a bad idea. With the new National Health Service, they’re going to need more hospitals.”

  “I can imagine. All those poor people bothering doctors with their pathetic ailments. I really don’t know why you want to waste your time.”

  “It’s called humanity, Mother. And perhaps a way of putting right a wrong.”

  “Oh, don’t start all that again.”

  “I told you that I’d lied about Anna. And it’s been on my conscience every day since.” Teddy had sleepless nights over how badly he had treated his half sister. His biggest wish was to tell her he was sorry, but he had no idea where she was. All they knew was that she was living somewhere in London, because Stephens received a letter from her with a ten shilling note to repay her debt. Mrs. Palmer had sobbed over that note, and mentioned it every day until she retired and went to the seaside, with Mr. Stephens following not long after. Now the household was run by staff that came and went in very quick order, unable to put up with his mother’s tantrums and rudeness.

  “I’m not so sure you did lie, Teddy. After all, why else would she run away if she were not guilty?”

  “Because you frightened her. Because she thought she was going to be arrested and sent to jail.”

  “She should have been! In fact if I have my way, she still will be.” Geraldine took a deep breath. “Get me the combination to your father’s safe, Teddy. If you don’t do it, I shan’t let you go to France with Freddie Fortescue’s family this summer.”

  “Mother!”

  “I mean it. You’re not eighteen yet, young man, so you still need our permission to go.”

  Geraldine stormed from the room, clearly convinced that Teddy would do as she asked.

  He slumped into his father’s chair, and began pondering. What was his mother really looking for? He had little doubt that she would know the entire contents of Sir Lionel’s will. It was the sort of thing she made it her business to know. Being a rather placid, easily handled man, it would have taken Geraldine very little time to get the truth from Sir Lionel. Unless she suspected that he withheld some information from her. Even if he had, what could she do about it? Unless she planned to bully Teddy’s father into taking out the offending clause.

  If there was such a clause, Teddy believed it had something to do with Anna. Sighing to himself, he also started sifting through the papers on his father’s desk, but tidied them up as he did so, putting them into orderly piles. Since rationing ended, the bills were piling up, due to there being no more checks on his mother’s spending.

  Teddy supposed he ought to take care of the bills, to ensure that they were paid, so that the tradesmen did not withdraw their wares. He also understood better than his mother how small businesses could fail when rich people did not settle their accounts.

  Smiling to himself, as he totted up the accounts, he remembered how he had told Anna he hated arithmetic. It was only when he learned that doctors needed to be good at sums that he began to apply himself, until even his teacher commented on his improvement. He hoped his half-sister would be proud of him, but feared that she may actually hate him for the lie he had told. With good reason too.

  A couple of hours later, with all the paperwork completed, Teddy put things away in the top drawer. The drawer stuck a bit as he pushed it in, so he had to put his hand under to give it a shove. That was when he felt the slip of card, taped to the underside of the desk. Taking the drawer out and turning it over, Teddy found what his mother had searched for so frantically. The combination to his father’s safe.

  It occurred to Teddy that he could take a look, and perhaps find out what his mother wanted, without bothering his father. Just at that moment the front door slammed shut. He looked at the clock, which said two o’clock.

  “Izzy,” he said with a smile, quickly putting the drawer and its contents back in place, before bounding into the hall.

  Bounding out into the hall, looking more like the child Anna knew than the young man, Teddy grinned at their visitor. “Good afternoon, Izzy,” he said.

  “Good afternoon, Master Teddy,” Izzy said in her gentle Scottish tones. She was nineteen years old, and quite the prettiest girl Teddy had ever seen. Her hair hung in soft auburn waves, and her face, devoid of make up, was covered in freckles.

  “I’ve told you not to call me that. It’s just Teddy, right?”

  “Your mother says I must call you Master Teddy.” Izzy lowered her voice. “To be honest I’m more afraid of her than you.” That was what Teddy liked best about Izzy. She was not afraid to say what she thought. Despite saying she was afraid of his mother, Izzy had often been known to put Lady Geraldine in her place. Even his mother was in awe of the medical profession – despite not wanting her son joining them – so she seldom argued back. “How is Sir Lionel today?”

  “He’s very well, and looking forward to your visit.”

  “I doubt he’ll say that when I start exercising those legs of his,” Izzy laughed.

  “Can I help you? It will be good practise for when I become a doctor,” said Teddy. Since his father suffered a minor stroke, Teddy had taken a great interest in his recovery, though whether that was down to helping his father, or the fact that it was when Izzy first turned up in their lives, he could not honestly say. He loved his father, and did not wish him ha
rm, but their relationship had always been rather distant.

  “Very well. Just don’t get in the way.” Izzy started up the stairs, then paused when she heard Teddy hurrying up after her. “Teddy, you’re a sweet boy and please don’t take this the wrong way. It’s just something I’ve been thinking of saying for a while. Please don’t think that there can ever be anything between us.” He loved her even more for her directness. “There can’t be. You’re too young for me for a start. Then there’s the fact you’re in a different social class, and I doubt your parents would approve. But you are a sweetie.”

  “I’m not that sweet,” said Teddy. “Really I’m not. If you knew of the horrible thing I’d done…”

  “You’ll have to tell me all about it one day, but to be honest can’t imagine you’re capable of anything horrible.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Anna found it hard to believe that six years had passed since she started working for the Voronins. Rationing had ended, and there was a pretty young queen on the throne. Britain was finally recovering from the austerity of the war years, and had become more prosperous. This was evident in the cheerful music coming from the cafes and bars, and the bright clothes in the shops.

  They had been six happy years for Anna. Madame Voronina had been a mentor to her, teaching her not just things about her own land she had not known, but also how to dress properly and use make up to good effect.

  “Not that you need much,” Madame had said. “You are a naturally lovely girl, with good colouring, so whatever you do, don’t go plastering your lips with bright red.”

  Although Madame agreed she could never take the place of Anna’s mother, she treated her like a daughter. Madame was just the same with Tasha. Although the girls were employed by the Voronins and therefore paid a salary, it never felt that way.