Bound For Me

by Natalie Anderson

  “You might be comfortable treating people like shit, Rex. I’m not going to,” Connor said.

  “You’re going to treat them like whores instead.”

  “I’m not going to do that either.” He’d spend time with Jack, answer any questions he had. Get to know him. He might never get attention from his father, but he would from the rest of the family.

  “By the way,” Connor broached another nightmare topic. “Another couple invites arrived for you. Organisations wanting you to speak at their conferences. I’ve already turned them down.”

  “What? Why would you do that?”

  “Because I’m not going to let you bring Summerhill down with your over-priced ego-trips anymore. You’re not feeding any one else your inflated, idiotic ideas. It’s over Rex. Go retire in obscurity.”

  It took another twenty minutes of arguing before Rex got totally angry and ended the call. But Connor didn’t regret it—it was beyond time he called the old man out for his behaviour.

  But his father’s words echoed Savannah’s. Had Connor paid off Cynthia? He hadn’t meant to—certainly didn’t want to make her feel bad.

  Twenty minutes later he knocked on the door of her apartment.

  She looked surprised and wary when she answered and saw him standing there. “I am moving away from Summerhill,” she said defensively before he could even say hi. “It’s just taking a while to—”

  “That’s not why I’m here,” he reassured. “You shouldn’t feel like you have to leave. I shouldn’t have made you feel that way.”

  She colored slightly. “I have to leave Connor. It’s a small town.”

  “Look,” he shoved his fist into his pocket. “Offering you that last paypack… I was trying to do the right thing. But... I’m sorry if it made you unhappy.”

  “Connor, I chose to take the money. And I don’t want your pity.” She looked down. “But the truth is I really fell for him. He could be so… charismatic.”

  “I know. But it’s a facade.” Connor knew his father was ruthless, callous. Heartless.

  “I know that now.” Her awkward expression deepened. “You must hate me.”

  “No. You were hurt and none of us helped.” Maybe he should have warned her. Maybe they’d all been too silent, too long.

  Enabling.

  But he’d just wanted her gone. Wanted all reminders of that rotten core to be cleaned out. “I’m sorry about that.”

  “Well,” she looked awkward. “Thanks for stopping by today. You’re a better man than he is.”

  He’d always thought that, but maybe he hadn’t been. But he could do better from now on.

  “Jack.” Connor walked up to the railing where he’d arranged to meet the newcomer. “I’m glad you came back to meet me.”

  “Sorry to disappoint, but you didn’t succeed in scaring me off.” Jack answered, not looking away from the Lodge’s impressive facade.

  “That wasn’t my intention. I’m the one who’s sorry. Really sorry. You’re family.” Connor said. “I should have handled yesterday better. It’s no excuse, but I had other things on my mind.”

  “So you believe me?” Jack turned to look at him face on. “You don’t want me to do some kind of blood test?”

  “I only need to look at you.” Connor admitted. “So how can I help you, really?”

  His first instinct was to offer him a share in the company. It wasn’t anything more than he was entitled to. But he was conscious of Savannah’s words—would it be misconstrued as paying him off?

  Jack was looking at him, as if assessing how honest he could be.

  “Ask me anything,” Connor half smiled.

  “I want you to understand this isn’t about money for me,” Jack said. “I don’t want that from you. Or him.”

  Good thing he hadn’t gone straight in with an offer then. “Okay,” Connor nodded. And it was okay, for now. But too many had lost what they were entitled to because of Rex. And Connor wasn’t having any half-brother of his starving on the streets.

  Jack pointed up to the massive building. “I just want to understand where I come from. That’s my right. I want to get to know my family.”

  No. He didn’t. Because that was only going to lead to disappointment. “I’m afraid your new found family is totally dysfunctional.” Connor rubbed his hand over his face. “I spoke to him earlier.”

  “Rex?” Jack’s eyes narrowed. “He said no to meeting with me.”

  Maybe it wasn’t the first time Jack had tried to make contact. “He’s a difficult personality. You want to see him, you’re just gonna have to be persistent.” Connor advised.

  But Connor couldn’t promise that their father would ever even say hello to Jack, just as he probably wouldn’t say hello to Savannah or her father.

  Connor wanted to protect her from that. Wished he could protect this guy too. And yeah, maybe that was to make himself feel better.

  “I’ll spend time with you,” Connor said. “Logan and Dani will too. You’re more than welcome to move into a room here at the Lodge and stay as long as you like.”

  Jack was silent for a long while. “I’d like to talk. But I can stay where I am.”

  “You know we own that hotel anyway.”

  “And I’m going to keep paying my own bill.”

  “I’m sure you will.” Connor sighed. “I have to go away for a couple days. You’ll still be here when I get back?”

  “Sure.”

  Connor went straight from meeting Jack, to the helipad. In minutes the helicopter was ascending. He hovered it for a moment, looking at the beauty of his home. On paper, he had it all. But in reality?

  Right now he had nothing that mattered. Not even honor.

  But he’d get that back.

  His father was never going to care for him, no matter what he did. She cared though. She’d cared even on that first night, in the brisk-but-gentle touch as she’d stuck a Band-aid on his hand.

  She’d challenged him in a way no one else ever had. She wasn’t afraid of him. Didn’t leap to do his beck and call. She wasn’t a ‘yes’ woman. She was brutally honest. Yet he knew those prickles protected a warm, soft heart. A brave heart.

  But she’d run from him. That wasn’t her. Savannah Nash faced a fight head on. Proudly. Hell, she’d been poisoned, only to return to the scene of the crime the next night and own the place. So to run from him? Meant she was really hurt.

  And to be hurt, meant she had to care.

  And that was as far as he could think.

  Because Connor Hughes, master of his mountain, had no fucking idea what he was going to say to her.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Savannah checked out of the hotel, walked through the lobby one last time and then stepped out onto the street. She adjusted her bag and turned left, heading towards the central bus station.

  “Need a ride?”

  She froze on the footpath then slowly swivelled to look at just who was driving the car that had pulled into the kerb.

  Connor Hughes was at the wheel, looking at her through the wound down window. He had a half smile, stubble, and serious eyes. “You want to get in? Or you want me to get out and talk to you on the street?”

  There was no point in a smart answer, he was too determined. And she’d lost the power of speech anyway. She opened the door and slid into the passenger seat.

  He pulled out into the traffic, but said nothing. She watched his hands on the wheel. He was gripping it tightly but seemed damn sure of where he was going.

  Her heart thudded and her stupid body was burning already. Had it only been a day since she’d last seen him?

  It felt like forever.

  “What are you doing here?” Finally she got her words together. Totally a lame opening, but it was a start.

  “What do you think I’m doing here?”

  Well that wasn’t fair—it was his question to answer. “You’re a long way from your mountain.”

  “It’s not my mountain,” he shrugged, t
urning the car down a side street.

  “Yes it is. You’ve worked all your life for it.”

  “For what? Money? Pride? A sense of achievement?” He puffed out a sharp breath. “I need more than that.”

  “You care about the mountain.”

  “I do. A lot. But I care about other things too. Even more.”

  She knew he’d turned his head to look at her when he’d said that. But she refused to meet his eyes, not wanting to end up mesmerized and brainless. Though right now she was fully over-thinking—on what he might mean, on why he was here and why she was so freaking hot and cold and nervous.

  Hell, truth was she didn’t even want to blink in case he disappeared. Which was totally pathetic. And she refused to be that pathetic. “Why are you here?”

  “Someone as smart as you needs to ask? There’s only one reason.” He pulled into a park and turned to face her, looking expectant.

  Savannah looked out the windshield—why had he parked outside the drugstore? “Because you’re short of antacid?”

  He laughed, and something melted inside her.

  “You can do better than that,” he challenged.

  “Why do you want me to say it?” She snapped her head towards him and glared. “It’s supposed to be your… moment.”

  Is that was this was—the ‘moment’, like where he was going to say sorry? Say nice things? Like really nice things?

  She didn’t want to think that. Couldn’t. Because if it wasn’t, that was going to hurt just too much.

  But her glare lost all impact. His blue eyes were so sharp, so true—her own focus was sealed inside. Her heart skittered so quick she could hardly breathe.

  “You need to say it, because you’re the one who needs to believe it.” The good-humor in his expression died, his voice dropped, leaving only seriousness and intensity. “Yet you can’t. Why is that?”

  “I’m…” Now she’d looked into his eyes, she couldn’t look away.

  Damn him he was so unfairly handsome, so strong and right now one hundred percent there. With. Her.

  And he was waiting, watching… she could almost feel him willing her.

  She licked her lips. “I’m…”

  She couldn’t do it.

  “You’re scared,” he answered for her in a whisper. “You’re afraid I’ll let you down. Because I already have. I turned on you.”

  He had. He’d been vicious. And now it flooded—hurt anger. She tore her gaze from his.

  But in that second, he spoke. Fast.

  “I was a jerk. Worse than a jerk. I was an arrogant butthead. I went all kinds of crazy. I was pathetic. I was…” he trailed off and released another big sigh.

  Another part of Savannah’s heart melted. She quickly folded her arms across her chest, squeezing tightly. She wasn’t going to go totally soft just yet. “Don’t stop there. Go ahead and beat yourself up some more.”

  “Smartass.” His smile flashed. Rueful. Irresistible. “I’m trying to apologize.”

  “Then just apologize.” She shrugged—as if she didn’t care?

  Who was she kidding.

  “Will you accept my apology?” He unfastened his seatbelt and leaned towards her, closing the gap between them. “Are you open to listening to me?”

  She made a show of checking her wrist. “My next meeting’s not for another five minutes. Go ahead but make it snappy.”

  He half-laughed and leaned closer still. “High-speed Savannah—”

  “Uh uh.” She held up her palm to stop him reaching out to touch her. “I’m listening. That’s all.”

  He froze in position. “Okay, Sugar.” He paused, then spoke again, words tripping out fast. “You know my family is a fuck-up. If we didn’t win, we got nothing but cold criticism. The only way to get attention was to come top in something Dad valued. Everything was performance based. And I bought into it. I was only a kid. After the accident, it was only by showing an interest in Summerhill itself that I finally got his approval. Learning the business. And Dad was tough. If I wasn’t a success, then I’d get nothing. Have nothing. Be nothing. But I didn’t want to be like him—screwing around and screwing up. I didn’t want to risk anything. I saw what happened to Logan with all his lovers. So I didn’t fool around. I worked. I thought I had it sorted. I thought I was Summerhill perfect. But you were right. I was arrogant as fuck, iced up inside, acting like a machine.”

  He paused, drew breath. Sighed. “But you know that mountain meant everything to me. It was dangerous and beautiful and the challenge of my life. Until you.” Speaking slower now, he reached out and touched a few strands of her hair, running his fingers the length of it. “You arrived. Dangerous and beautiful and the absolute challenge of my life. And you had no idea who I was. I looked a mess, was tired and grumpy. But you wanted me anyway. It wasn’t ’til you found out who I was that you decided you weren’t going to be interested. But despite me being your ‘enemy’, you still wanted me. Me. And the more time I had with you. The more I wanted.”

  Savannah sat still as still, to scared to breathe in case she missed something.

  “I doubted you because I got scared and I reverted to that pathetic boy again—I guess I was using Summerhill to hide.” He smiled a lop-sided half-smile at her. “We each have our armor, right?”

  She nodded, finally moving, but still unable to speak. Her heart ached. She felt so vulnerable which was crazy given he was the one doing all the talking.

  “It wasn’t for corporate goodwill that I liked to help out,” he said. “I did it because it made me feel good on the inside. And then you made me feel so good, I couldn’t believe in it. I’ve never experienced anything like it. Sex, sure, sometimes. But not sex like that. Not laughter and fun and challenge. You’re so vibrant. So smart. And I had no idea how lonely I was until I met you.” Connor reached out, gripping her shoulder to twist her to face him, forcing her to meet his eyes. “But I fucked up. I admit it. The first hint of doubt… that there was a threat… it was a complete brain fail. I said the most stupid things. I hurt you. And I’m sorry for that. So sorry.” He looked right at her, in that old ultra-intense way… like she was the freaking Rubik’s cube conundrum again. “But here’s the thing, Savannah. You were already running away. You were running well before I lost it. Why was that? What were you so afraid of?”

  She couldn’t speak.

  “Why am I here, Savannah?”

  She touched her tongue to the corner of her very, very dry lips. Her heart pounded.

  “For you,” he said simply. “I’ll always be here for you, if you’ll let me.” His words tumbled. “Do you understand? I’m here because I can’t stand that I hurt you. Can’t stand it without you. I want you to come back. I love you.”

  That pierced. Hard. “You can’t love me.” She finally spoke—total croaky voice.

  “Why not?”

  “It’s too quick.”

  Something flashed in his eyes. “Does that mean you don’t love me?”

  He had her there. And he knew it.

  “Savannah, I hurt you so badly that you ran away. You, the brave, never let the bullies get to you, courageous woman, ran away because of some dumb things I said. You know what that tells me?”

  She shook her head.

  “Apart from the fact that I’m a first class idiot…” he winced. “That tells me that you care.”

  “You’re wrong.”

  His eyes widened.

  “I’m not courageous.” Her eyes filled with burning tears. “That’s been my biggest problem.”

  “But—”

  She pressed the backs of her fingers over his mouth. “I’m afraid of myself,” she whispered. “Of being so desperate I’d do anything to try to get my guy... Of giving up everything I have or want to keep him no matter what…” Her parent’s choices and actions had scared her. She didn’t want to be as extreme as they’d seemed.

  “Sugar.” He gripped her hand, briefly kissed it, before lowering it and pressing her palm ag
ainst his chest. “You’re not going to lose yourself in loving me. You can be yourself with me more than you can with anyone else in the world. Because it’s you that I love.”

  For a long moment she stared hard into his eyes—like he was the cube conundrum. And as he smiled at her, the pieces slowly clicked over, the colors lined up and locked into place.

  She smiled too. “You love it when I talk tough?” That was her armor, and they both knew it.

  “Adore it.” His mouth quirked, his grin going wicked.

  “I think my views got a little warped…” she said, determined to match his honesty. His courage. “I talked to Dad yesterday. He said he was using his ‘love’ for Mom as an excuse to hide his gambling. That he hurt her for years. And he hurt me too. That he lied to both of us.” It still made her shrivel a little on the inside, but Connor sensed it, squeezing her hand in support. She tried to relax. “He doesn’t blame Rex. Or you. He’s owning his addictions.”

  Connor nodded, but frowned. “I’ve told Rex to stop with the speaker circuit.”

  “You have?”

  “I told him he was dragging the great Summerhill brand down.”

  “How’d he take that?”

  “As well as expected. But I don’t give a damn.”

  “Did you tell him about Jack?”

  He nodded. “I don’t know what’s going to happen there but I don’t think Jack’s gonna back down. So he’ll meet Rex sometime. Jack says he doesn’t want anything but to get to know us so I’ve invited him to stay at Summerhill as long as he wants to. And to meet Logan, Xander and the guys. I also told him he’d be getting whatever else he was entitled to. Including shares or money or something.”

  “That’s… good.”

  “I’m not paying him off. It’s only what’s fair.” He looked to her, questioning. “Give and take? Compromise?”

  “Yeah.” She got that.

  He sighed. “I apologized to Cynthia as well. You were right about my… paying people off. It wasn’t how I meant it though.”

  “I know. And I didn’t mean to come across so, judgmental.” Or seem so unforgiving.