Chasing Charli (Alaska Blizzard Book 6)

by Kat Mizera

  “I don’t really talk about it,” she said, her voice a little hoarse.

  He threaded their fingers together. “I’m right here. It’s okay, no matter what it is.”

  “He called me about halfway through basic training. He’d earned a few hours of free time. I was scared, because I knew my parents were going to freak out. He said everything was going to be okay, that he’d come get me as soon as he got a few days leave after basic. But he never came back. I never heard from him again. I was almost five months pregnant by the time I realized he wasn’t coming and I had to tell my parents.” She closed her eyes, oblivious to the tears dripping down her cheeks.

  “They were angry,” he said gently.

  “Oh, god. So angry. They called me terrible names, said I was a disgrace to the family, to God, to myself…” She shuddered even though it wasn’t cold.

  “Oh, sweetheart.” He’d never called her an endearment in English before and she leaned against his side wearily.

  “They kicked me out of the house right before Christmas. They called the school to tell them I was a pregnant whore and that I shouldn’t be allowed to come back after the holidays and—”

  “Wait, they did what?”

  21

  Miikka had been getting more and more upset as he listened to her story, but that last line nearly made his head explode. What kind of people were her parents? He wanted to cry for her as she continued.

  “I come from a really small, conservative town. My father was the pastor at our church. Sex before marriage was a big deal.”

  “What about your boyfriend—his parents?”

  “He didn’t have any. He was in foster care. That’s why he joined the military right after graduation. He had nowhere else to go and figured at least the military would keep him off the streets… I don’t know what happened, what changed. I never heard from him again. To this day it haunts me. Like, even if he didn’t love me, couldn’t he have sent money for an abortion or something?”

  “You couldn’t have an abortion at five months…” he said slowly.

  “No.”

  “Tell me the rest.”

  “My grandfather lived here in Alaska. When he found out my father had kicked me out, he flew to Kansas to see what was going on. He was pretty upset that I’d gotten pregnant, but he said I was still family. So he brought me here to Anchorage to have the baby. He wouldn’t let me go to school, so I had to get my high school equivalency diploma.”

  “And the baby?”

  “I, I g-gave him up.” She dissolved into tears, sobbing against his chest. “They took him from me when he was born. I only held my baby once.” Her sobs turned to heartfelt wails as a torrent of emotion poured out of her.

  “Muruseni, I’m so sorry.” He held her tightly, rocking her and gently murmuring in Finnish.

  She cried for a long time, her tears soaking his shirt, and while his heart broke for her, he was furious at both her family and her boyfriend. He couldn’t imagine his parents treating Tara that way had she become pregnant as a teenager. They would have welcomed the baby with open arms, and probably hunted down the father, no matter what it took.

  “Please don’t cry,” he whispered against her hair. “I hate to see you cry. What can I do?”

  “N-nothing.” She was shaking so hard, he pulled her onto his lap so he could hold her closer.

  He would have done anything in that moment to take her pain away, to fix what her family had broken in her. Her trust issues, reluctance to talk about the past, even her estrangement from her family, all made sense now. His family was his foundation, the thing that had always given him the strength to follow his dreams, play hockey halfway across the world from home, everything he’d ever done. It blew his mind that her family had turned on her and not just been upset, but kicked her out of the house, made it impossible for her to finish school, and ultimately left her alone during what had to have been the scariest time of her life.

  “There is no shame in giving up a child to have a better life,” he said slowly. “Some people wait many years to find a child available for adoption. You did a good thing.”

  “I have no way of knowing if he’s had a good life,” she whispered. “What if the family that adopted him is awful? What if they hurt him? What if he wants to know who I am and thinks I gave him up because I didn’t love him?”

  “He’s just a child… How old is he now? Seven? Eight?”

  “He just turned seven.”

  “He hasn’t thought of these things yet, and if, when he’s older, he tries to contact you, you’ll tell him the truth.”

  “What if he doesn’t? What if I die never knowing what happened to him?” She started to cry again, as if she’d been holding in these tears for a long time, and Miikka couldn’t do anything but hold her. He wished he had something to say that might make her feel better, but he couldn’t think of anything.

  “You were brave,” he whispered against her hair. “Brave and much stronger than I think I would have been in your place. You must have been so scared, with nowhere to go and a baby without a father. I’m sorry you went through this. I don’t understand your parents.”

  “Me either.” The energy seemed to drain out of her and she all but wilted against him, her body limp.

  “Sit here for a minute,” he said. He gently put her on the bed and then went back into the bathroom. He’d never dreamed his surprise would lead to something so poignant and emotional, but he was glad she’d finally told him about her past.

  He thought about what she’d said as he ran a hot bath for them. Though it would be a little cramped, especially for him, he was positive she didn’t want to be alone right now, and he didn’t want her to think his feelings had changed because of what she’d told him. While he wanted kids someday, they were far off on his radar. They were both young and had a lot of fun in their future, both individually and as a couple. He wasn’t ready to be tied down to kids yet. He wanted to travel and show her people, places and things he loved so he hadn’t thought to bring up children at all.

  They had plenty of time to worry about kids and that sort of thing. Right now, he just wanted to love her and make her happy. He had no doubt that with his love and enough time, she would work through all of these feelings of regret. She obviously loved kids or she wouldn’t be a kindergarten teacher, so he wasn’t worried about her concern about whether or not she wanted to have children someday.

  She was curled up in a little ball on the bed when he came out of the bathroom, and he approached slowly.

  “Come. We’re going to take a bath.”

  She didn’t answer, merely glancing over at him with sad blue eyes.

  Without a word, he gently tugged off her blouse and then undressed her, one piece of clothing at a time. When she was finally naked and sitting up, he carried her into the bathroom and put her in the water. He shed his own clothes and joined her, moving behind her and wrapping his arms around her. It was a tight fit, but he didn’t care. He just wanted her to stop crying.

  “I’m sorry,” she said after a few minutes, the back of her head resting against his chest.

  “For what? Telling me about what happened to you?”

  “Are you disappointed in me?”

  “Disappointed?” He gently splashed water on her torso, hoping to warm her up because she was shivering a little. “No. You’re my sweet Char-lot and I love you. What happened to you was terrible, but not your fault.”

  “Getting pregnant was my fault.”

  “Did you do it on purpose?”

  “Of course not, but—”

  “Accidents happen. All the time. Condom breaks. Birth control fails. You were only seventeen. Your boyfriend, well, if I ever find him, I’ll kick his ass, because that’s not cool. Even if he didn’t love you, he had a responsibility to do the right thing. What an asshole. I’m angry at him and your parents, and even your grandfather. But not you, muruseni.” He brought one of her hands up to his mouth and his lips skimme
d her knuckles. “Everything is going to be okay. We have so many things to do in our lives. Travel and house renovation and time with friends and family… Let’s just be in love and be happy. Together. Everything else will work out.”

  “Are you sure, Miikka?”

  “Yes.” He leaned forward as she tipped up her face, and kissed her.

  Gage always had an end-of-season party for the team, no matter how bad the season had been, and Miikka looked forward to it every year. Gage was a billionaire, and now he was married to Coach Saunders, but Miikka never felt like he had to be on his best behavior when he was at their house. They were laid-back and threw the best parties. There was always great food, his pool was heated, and the drinks were stellar.

  He was excited to be taking Charli with him this year, and figured this would make their relationship official. A few of the guys and the WAGs had seen her in the family lounge a few times, but probably didn’t know if it was serious or how serious. He figured he’d be answering a lot of questions about that today, but he needed to make sure Charli was okay with it because she was still pretty shy when it came to things like this.

  “Logan is bringing Tara to the party,” he told her as she got dressed. “So we don’t have to pick her up.”

  “Oh, okay. So we have a little time.”

  “Yes.”

  She’d braided her hair today, just like she did for school, pulled to one side so it dangled over one shoulder.

  “I love your braid,” he said with a smile, tugging it gently.

  “I thought it was perfect for a barbeque. Unless you think the other girls are going to dress up?”

  He shook his head. “No. Every year we go and they wear jeans, shorts and bathing suits since the pool is heated.”

  “I didn’t think anyone in Alaska had an outdoor pool.”

  “He’s very rich. It’s indoor and outdoor, half and half. His house is amazing.”

  “I can’t wait to see it.”

  “We can go whenever you’re ready.”

  “Let me grab the cupcakes I baked.” She brushed past him and went downstairs to the kitchen, pulling a plastic carrier-type thing out of a cabinet. She’d made red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting and then used some fancy tool to create a simplified version of the Blizzard logo on each one. He’d eaten three of them last night when she’d made them and they were as delicious as they were pretty.

  She filled two carriers with cupcakes and he brought them out to his truck. She climbed in and he handed them to her before getting into the driver’s side.

  “Are you nervous?” he asked her as he drove towards Gage’s house.

  “About what? Meeting your boss and the rest of the team?”

  “That and us probably getting a lot of questions because we’re a couple now.”

  “Is that a thing? New couples getting the third degree?”

  “I think so, yes.”

  “Oh. Well, we don’t have anything to hide, do we?”

  “No.” He reached across the seat for her hand and she squeezed it.

  “Holy shit, is this his house?” Charli’s eyes widened as Miikka drove through the gate, which was open today.

  “Yes. Pretty great, right?”

  “Wow.” She stared at the expansive estate as he parked the truck and got out to grab the cupcake carriers.

  “Wait until you see the inside,” he said.

  “Miikka!” Gage was the first person they saw when they got inside and Miikka hugged his boss.

  “Hey, boss.” He pulled Charli forward. “Gage, this is my girlfriend, Char-lot. Char-lot, this is the owner of the Blizzard, Gage Caldwell.”

  “Nice to meet you.” Gage smiled down at her.

  “Likewise. And my friends call me Charli. Miikka’s the only one who calls me Charlotte.”

  “Charli it is.” He turned and called to his wife. “Honey, have you met Miikka’s girlfriend? This is Charli. Charli, my wife, Laurel.”

  “Also my head coach,” Miikka stage-whispered. “You must be nice to her so I don’t have to skate laps.”

  “Got it.” Charli laughed as she shook Laurel’s hand. “Nice to meet you. Miikka talks about you all the time.”

  “I’ll bet he does.” Laurel pretended to give him side-eye and then they both chuckled.

  “Where’s Matthew?” he demanded, referring to Gage and Laurel’s infant son.

  “He’s being passed around, I believe,” Laurel said, gazing towards the back of the house. “Last I saw, Dani had him.”

  “My turn,” Miikka grumbled.

  “Well, you can fight Dani for him,” Laurel said with a smile.

  He grimaced. “Dani is badass,” he said. “I don’t think I can fight her. Also, Sergei is scary.”

  “These are for everyone,” Charli said, holding up the cupcakes.

  “Red velvet?” Gage asked, eyeing the container.

  “What’s the blue stuff?” Laurel asked, squinting.

  “The Blizzard logo. Sort of. I hand drew them.”

  “You hand drew them?” Gage opened one of the carriers, picked up a cupcake and examined it. “You’re hired. Can you make me five dozen of these for my next staff meeting?”

  “Sure.” Charli smiled.

  “I’ll pay you, of course.”

  “Let me know when you need them.”

  “There he is!” Miikka started walking towards Dani, who was carrying Matthew.

  “Oh, he’s going to make a great dad someday,” Laurel chuckled.

  22

  Charli watched Miikka run and scoop the baby out of Dani’s arms, loving the easy banter between the two of them.

  “Hey!” Dani protested, swatting at him.

  “Too slow!” He laughed, dancing out of her way with the baby in his arms.

  “What do you do, Charli?” Laurel asked her, shaking her head as Dani pretended to chase Miikka around the room.

  “I teach kindergarten. I’m Niko’s teacher this year.”

  “Oh, that’s awesome.”

  “I think being the only female head coach in the NHL is incredibly cool,” Charli told her.

  “I’ll leave you ladies to chat and take these outside,” Gage said, holding both cupcake carriers.

  “Thanks, honey.” Laurel watched him go with a smile and she and Charli started walking further into the house. “I hate that I had to leave the team for maternity leave. The baby wasn’t planned but neither was me coaching full-time. I was only going to coach them through the playoffs last season. Somehow, I wound up coming back and now it looks like it’s going to be full-time.”

  “That’s going to be hard, isn’t it?” I asked her. “With a baby at home?”

  “Yes and no. Gage has the freedom to be a stay-at-home dad and since we have the private jet, he and the baby can follow me on the road for the longer trips. He wants another baby too, so I’m going to give it a year and then see what happens.”

  It felt like Charli was suddenly surrounded by babies and women wanting to get pregnant, which was a little overwhelming, no matter how wonderful Miikka had been when she’d told him her story. The thought of having a child made her cringe and she didn’t know how to handle how much both the players and WAGs seemed to love and talk about babies.

  “Charli, want to hold Matthew?” Miikka approached her, holding out the smiling infant. He was five months old now and seemed to laugh a lot.

  “That’s okay,” she said softly. “Seems like everyone is clamoring for him.”

  “But he smells so good!” Miikka said, thrusting him at her.

  The last thing Charli wanted to do was hold a baby, any baby, but here in front of Laurel and many of their friends, what choice did she have?

  “He doesn’t break,” Laurel said. “Don’t worry—you won’t drop him.”

  Charli wanted to protest, explain that was the last thing she was worried about, but she obediently reached out her arms. Miikka put the chubby baby in them and she cuddled him against her chest. He
fisted a lock of her hair and gave her a toothless grin that melted her heart.

  Shit. This was a huge mistake. Holding Matthew made her chest hurt and she desperately wanted to shove him back at Miikka and run from the room, but instead she bounced him a little, trying to keep her heart from racing. She avoided babies like the plague because she always had a visceral reaction to them, but here at Gage and Laurel’s house, she had to force herself to relax.

  “I love babies,” Miikka said. “They smell good and their little toes…” His English turned into Finnish as he tickled Matthew’s feet and Charli sighed.

  Why did everyone love babies?

  “My turn!” Whitney snatched him from her arms and Charli breathed a sigh of relief.

  “Wine? Beer?” Laurel was asking as Charli followed her onto the most magnificent patio Charli had ever seen. She forgot all about Matthew as she took in the expansive space that contained an Olympic-size swimming pool, half of which was indoors and the rest was outside. Miikka hadn’t been kidding about how incredible the place was.

  “White wine if you have it?”

  “Chardonnay or sauvignon blanc?”

  “Chardonnay, please.”

  Laurel poured her a drink into a plastic cup, handing it to her. “Come on, let me introduce you. I don’t know who you’ve met.”

  “I know Dani, Sara, Hailey and Whitney. I’ve seen or said hello to some of the other ladies, but haven’t officially met them.”

  “Well, we can fix that now. It’s a great group, for the most part.”

  Charli followed her around, meeting wives and girlfriends, a handful of kids, and most of the players on the team. Her head was swimming trying to remember names and faces, but Tara came to her rescue, settling at a chair beside her.

  “You find anyone to marry you yet?” Charli asked her, teasing.

  “Not yet.” Tara grinned.

  “Are we looking for a husband?” Laurel asked, arching her brows.

  “More like looking for a green card,” Tara said ruefully.

  “Has Miikka looked into it?” Laurel asked. “It shouldn’t be too hard. I’m sure Gage can help.” She turned her head and called to her husband, who ambled over with a smile.