Chasing Charli (Alaska Blizzard Book 6)

by Kat Mizera

  “I let him go,” she whispered, shaking her head. “I could have gotten a job waiting tables, maybe gone to college part-time or something. I could have made it work, but obviously I didn’t care enough to try.”

  “That’s not true,” he protested. “Why do you insist on only seeing the negative?”

  “You’re a sweet, wonderful man who wants to see the best in people, but that’s not always true, and definitely not in my case. Just ask my baby’s father.”

  Miikka frowned. “He knows nothing. He left you. What he thinks…” His voice trailed off, sparking a torrent of conversation in Finnish, but Charli barely heard him.

  “Miikka, stop.” She held up a hand wearily. “I don’t want to fight. I don’t want things to be ugly between us, okay? I want you to be happy and to have all the things you want in life. They just won’t be with me, so it’s better for us to end it now, before things get too serious.”

  He gazed at her. “We live together. I took you to Finland to meet my family. I flew a thousand hours to be here for you and your family—who you don’t even like that much. We’re renovating our house! And you don’t think we’re serious?”

  She didn’t say anything, simply looking away.

  “Do you love me?” he asked after a moment.

  “That has nothing to do with it.”

  “That has everything to do with it!” he snapped.

  “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

  “Do. You. Love. Me.” His eyes bore into hers, so intense she couldn’t look away no matter how much she wanted to.

  “You know I do.” Her voice was barely audible. “But—”

  “What if I could prove it to you?”

  “What are you talking about?” she asked in confusion.

  “What if I found a way to show you that you made the right decision? For your son and for yourself?”

  She shook her head. “The records are sealed. There’s no way you’re going to get any information about where he is or how he is or any of it.”

  “What if I can?” He was insistent.

  “It’s not going to make any difference,” she said. “I wish you wouldn’t make this harder than it has to be.”

  “You think I’m just going to walk away?” He shook his head firmly. “That’s not the man I am.”

  “But what if that’s what I want?” she countered.

  “Will it change your mind if I can show you that you’re wrong?” he asked again.

  “I’ve already told you that—”

  “Just answer me,” he interrupted impatiently.

  “You think you’re going to find my son? Fine. Knock yourself out. But I don’t want to do this anymore. My parents are already asking embarrassing questions like when we’re getting married and I don’t want them to get the wrong idea.”

  “We are getting married. You’re just upset.”

  “I’m being realistic.” She met his gaze. “Please. If you love me, you won’t make this hard on us.”

  “Why are you so stubborn?” he demanded, throwing up his hands. “I love you. You love me. Why must everything be so complicated?”

  “Because I’m trying to not hurt you!” she cried out in frustration.

  “I’m a grown man. I can handle it.”

  She met his eyes. “Now who’s being stubborn? Just go back to Finland, okay? Enjoy your family and let me deal with my shit. I have enough on my plate without having to fight with you too.”

  Charli instantly regretted her harsh words when she saw the hurt in Miikka’s eyes, but then he just nodded.

  “Fine. You want me to go, I’ll go, but this isn’t the end, my love.” He turned and stalked towards the elevator bank.

  Shit.

  What had she done and what was Miikka going to do?

  29

  Miikka was too tired to get back on a plane so he got something to eat and found a hotel room near the airport, hoping to take a nap. The next time he opened his eyes, it was morning and he realized he’d slept nearly sixteen hours. He sat up and stretched, yesterday’s events running through his mind. He wasn’t so much upset with Char-lot as frustrated. If he truly believed she wouldn’t make a good mother, or that she genuinely didn’t want to have kids, he’d have to think long and hard about what kind of future they would have.

  But that wasn’t the case. She wanted kids so much she taught five-year-olds. He’d seen the look on her face when she’d held Matthew, and it had been one of pure longing. She didn’t just want to be a mother, she needed to be one. Maybe not now, but in a few years, she would be a radiant, kind, doting mother, and he wanted to be the man to make that happen for her.

  This ridiculous notion that giving up a child at seventeen made her somehow unworthy, or that she didn’t have any maternal instincts, had obviously been driven into her by someone. Her mother maybe? He wasn’t sure, but he wasn’t going to just give up. He’d finally found the woman of his dreams and he wasn’t going to let her walk away. Not like this.

  The question was what to do. He had to find her son. That was all there was to it, but it wouldn’t be easy and he was going to need help.

  He glanced at the clock and reached for his phone, dialing the one person who had the money, time and resources to help. Gage Caldwell wasn’t just the owner of the Blizzard, he was a billionaire tech wizard who’d been some kind of military intelligence officer or something in the past.

  “Hey, Miikka, where are you?” Gage sounded relaxed and friendly as he answered the phone.

  “I’m in Wichita.”

  “What the hell are you doing in Kansas?” Gage laughed. “Aren’t you supposed to be in Finland?”

  “Yes, well…” He told him about Charli’s father’s heart attack and then his impromptu trip back to the U.S. to join her.

  “Did you guys have a fight?” Gage asked knowingly.

  “Not exactly.” Miikka sighed. “I have to speak to you in confidence. It’s very important but you can’t tell anyone.”

  “Of course not. You okay?”

  “I’m fine. You see, Charli had a child that she gave up for adoption…” He told him everything he knew about Charli’s situation. “And now she has this idea she is bad. I can’t… I have to show her that she did the best thing for the child.”

  “Miikka, I’ll do anything I can to help, but you don’t know what we might find. What if the kid is sick or, god forbid, died in some kind of accident or some other awful thing? There’s no guarantee this is going to have a happy ending if we go digging into things.”

  Miikka sighed. “I know. If this happens, you must give me your word it stays between us. We never tell her what happened and let her think it was impossible to find the child.”

  “Are you sure, Miikka? A thousand percent sure?”

  “You think you can find the boy?”

  “With my contacts in the government, and the money I have to bribe people, yeah. I’m about ninety percent sure I can find him.”

  “Please. Even if she doesn’t love me anymore, I can’t let her spend the rest of her life thinking she did something terrible. And if something bad happened to the child—she still made the best decision. She was seventeen with no one and nothing…”

  “Hey, you don’t have to convince me. I agree with you, but keep in mind, she may not want to know. Knowing that you went behind her back may hurt her in a totally different way.”

  “I didn’t,” Miikka protested. “She said something about knocking myself out—what does this mean?—if I want to search for him.”

  Gage chuckled. “It means she doesn’t think you’re going to find him, but I guess that was her way of saying it was okay for you to look.”

  “So you’ll help me?”

  “Send me a text with everything you know. Charli’s full name, where she gave birth, approximately the date. Any information will be helpful.”

  “I’ll do this now.”

  “It could take weeks, Miikka. I can reach out, call in favor
s, and I’m happy to bribe people for any pertinent records, but it may take a while just to find the right people.”

  “The child was born in Anchorage, so maybe it’s easier than we think?”

  “I’ll keep you posted.”

  “Thank you. I’ll owe you…something.”

  “There are a lot of visits to the children’s hospital in your future,” Gage chuckled as he hung up.

  Miikka hated Wichita. There was very little to see and all he wanted to do was check on Charli. He’d driven to the hospital twice since the day he’d seen her, but in the end, he hadn’t gone in. He didn’t want to upset her and it seemed like there was a lot going on with her family. He hadn’t had a chance to tell her, but her father had mentioned regretting his actions eight years ago, and that this heart attack made him realize family was the most important thing. Miikka didn’t like how they’d treated her, but everyone made mistakes, and if they were willing to try, it might be good for her too. She’d been holding on to so much pain, it hurt him to see her hurting.

  He hadn’t heard anything from Gage and the idea that it really might take weeks, or longer, to find Charli’s son was depressing. He was itching to go back to Finland, but he couldn’t leave things like this between him and Charli. He loved her and wanted to take care of her, but he didn’t have any idea how. At this point, she was fixated on the idea that she was somehow unworthy of having a child.

  He’d found a local golf course with a pro shop willing to lend him clubs, so he was going golfing today. It wasn’t his favorite thing to do, but anything was better than staring at the walls of his hotel room for another day.

  He headed out, following the directions on the GPS on his phone, and walked into the pro shop. He’d just given the guy his name when Gage’s name flashed on the screen of his phone and he grabbed it.

  “Gage? Hello?”

  “Hey.”

  “Did you find him?” He was practically holding his breath.

  “I did.”

  “Holy shit. Really?” Miikka was momentarily a little light-headed. Part of him had been sure Gage wouldn’t succeed and he’d lose Charli forever. “Is he okay?”

  “I have a couple of pictures and a document of information I’m going to email you, but you have to let me know what you want to do next. You can’t just show up at the kid’s house or something.”

  “No, of course not.” Miikka had to admit he hadn’t thought this far ahead.

  Holy shit.

  He’d found Charli’s son.

  What the fuck was he supposed to do now?

  “He’s in St. Louis, which isn’t far from where you are. I think it’s about a six-hour drive, so you wouldn’t even have to get on a plane if you didn’t want to.”

  “I have to talk to her.”

  “Here’s what I think. I can reach out to the parents, see if there’s a way to buy a meeting for you. For her. But it could be really tricky and we’re going to have to handle this extremely carefully. You need to talk to Charli. Show her the picture, let her know that her son’s name is Dylan and he loves hockey, chocolate ice cream and Lego sets. He’s happy and healthy and has a younger sister named Nancy.”

  Miikka took a deep breath. “Thank you. I don’t even know what to say. I don’t think I allowed myself to believe you’d find him.”

  “I’m going to see if I can set up a meeting, but make sure you handle this delicately. Trust me, Charli is probably going to be freaked out, so think about what you’re going to say.”

  “I think maybe I’ll wait until you find out if they’re willing to meet. I don’t want to talk to her about it until we know everything.”

  Charli had run into Roy two more times since she’d sent Miikka away, and between confrontations with him and her mother’s constant snarky comments, she spent most of her days ready to cry. She’d never wanted to go home to Anchorage more than she did right now, but her father pleaded with her to stay. He was doing well but the doctors weren’t ready to release him just yet, so she’d spent the last two days at his bedside simply because it was easier for her and seemed to calm him as well.

  She was on her way to get some lunch in the hospital cafeteria when she saw Roy again. She ignored him, getting on the elevator and praying he’d leave her alone, but he followed her, his smarmy smile annoying her more than usual. Her nerves were already shot because of her mother and the situation with Miikka, and Roy just added fuel to the fire.

  “I’m getting a lawyer,” he said once the elevator doors closed.

  “For what?” she asked warily.

  “I’m going to find out where my son is and prove that you didn’t have my permission to give him up.”

  She shrugged. “Do what you want. I had no way to reach you.”

  “You could’ve hired a lawyer to contact the military, and they would’ve told you I was in Leavenworth.”

  “Yeah, a homeless seventeen-year-old with no job, no money, no nothing was going to hire a lawyer.” This time, she rolled her eyes.

  “You lived with your grandfather!” he yelled. “And I want to know where my kid is!”

  “Good luck with that.” She stepped out of the elevator but he grabbed her arm.

  “You’re not listening, Charles.”

  “Fuck you, Roy.”

  “Listen, you little bitch. I want to know where he is.”

  “And for the thousandth time, I have no idea. It’s not an open adoption, so I have zero information.”

  “Well, you gave birth to him and you signed the papers, so you’re going to figure it out.”

  “Or what?” she demanded, trying to wrench her arm free. He had a steely grip, to the point it started to hurt now, and she frowned at him. “Let me go, Roy.”

  “You’re going to get on the phone and find out where my kid is.” He started pulling her towards the exit.

  “There’s no one to call!” she protested. “And frankly, you knew where my parents were all this time; why didn’t you give a shit about our son before now?”

  “Your mom said she didn’t know where you were.”

  “You spoke to my mom?” Charli stopped struggling and just stared at him. “When?”

  “When I first got back to town last year.”

  “My name is the same. You could have found me online.”

  He glared. “That’s not my job. I didn’t lose the kid. You did. Now let’s go.”

  “Let go of my arm before I scream,” she hissed under her breath.

  He chuckled. “You’re not going to scream. Shut the fuck up and walk.”

  “Let go!” She dug her heels in, refusing to go beyond the doors of the hospital entrance because once they were in the parking lot, she didn’t know what he might do to her. Her heart had started beating wildly and she looked behind her, frantic to find someone who might alert security.

  “I said move!” he yelled, shoving her towards the door.

  “Touch my girlfriend again and I’ll fuck you up.”

  30

  Miikka had seen red when he saw the man he assumed was Char-lot’s ex shove her.

  “Boyfriend? Who the fuck are you? Get out of my way.”

  Miikka smiled. He wasn’t much of a fighter, but he could hold his own, and even if he couldn’t, there wasn’t a chance in hell he was letting this guy get rough with his Char-lot. He’d only been in one official fight as a professional hockey player and he’d hit the guy so hard he hadn’t gotten up for a few minutes. So he had it in him, he just didn’t like violence.

  “Go inside, hani,” he told her. “Get security.”

  Char-lot ran back through the doors and Miikka walked up to the man without hesitation. “I’m not afraid of you, dill weed.” The man seemed to be mocking Miikka.

  “Why don’t you get out of here?” Miikka suggested.

  “You know she’s bad news, right? She had my kid and gave him away.”

  “This is your last warning,” Miikka said. “Don’t test me.”

  Char-
lot and a man in a security uniform were heading their direction and Roy glanced at them in annoyance.

  “Only reason you’re not dead is it would violate my parole,” he grunted at Miikka.

  “I’m right here.” Miikka held up his arms, inviting him to take a swing.

  “Fuck you.” The other man started walking briskly towards the parking lot.

  “Everything okay, sir?” the security guard asked, following Miikka’s gaze as they watched the man disappear between the cars.

  “Everything is fine. Thank you.” Miikka reached for Charli, pulling her close. “You’re okay, muruseni?”

  “I’m okay.” She nodded but she was shaking a little.

  “Who was that?” he asked once the security guard was gone.

  She swallowed. “Roy. My ex. He seems to think I know where the baby is.”

  Miikka lifted her chin. “What did you tell him?”

  “The truth. I have no idea where he is or what happened to him. The adoption was closed.”

  “Yes.” He nodded. “Come. You’re upset. Let’s get something to eat and talk.”

  “Okay.” She moved against his side, her fingers sliding into his.

  They got into his rental car and he asked her where to go. She guided him to a diner that wasn’t far and they found a table in the back. They were sitting across from each other, which he disliked because he preferred to be able to touch her, but for now he’d focus on her face. She was already shaken up and what he was about to tell her would probably send her reeling all over again.

  “What are you still doing here?” she asked once they’d ordered.

  “I wasn’t going to leave things the way they are with us,” he said gently. “Also, I had work to do.”

  “Work?” She frowned in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

  “I told you I was going to try to find him.”

  Her eyes met his and he watched a play of emotions move through them in the span of a few seconds. Shock, excitement, concern, fear. It was all there and she didn’t move, her mouth parting slightly.