Rachel thought about that for a long while as she laid her head down once more and closed her eyes. She wanted to forget this day. She wanted to forget her bargain. She wanted to escape. Perhaps Sesari would help her escape? After all, she didn't want her here anymore than she wanted to be here.
When she fell asleep, she had dreams. All of them were about Buck and how their relationship had grown since she came here. She could still feel the kiss on her lips. Strangely enough, he never said anything when he kissed her, it just happened, and the kisses were like some silent kind of communication between them.
Of all the men she had met, Buck stood out for some reason. There was something about his quiet manner that she was drawn to. But it was more than that, they were kindred in spirit too.
Would she ever see them again?
Her eyes flew open and she cried for the first time.
The next day brought work, hard, back breaking work. She watched how the women gathered the wood and carried it on their backs. She copied them. She watched them look for certain herbs. She picked them too. It was noon when she came back to camp. She was dirty and tired.
Running Wolf was waiting.
He did not say a word to her. Instead he helped Sesari with her load and spoke to her in their tongue.
Sesari came up to her. "Come, we will make food for him."
Rachel shrugged, she was already so tired she couldn't stay awake.
But she watched and learned and did as Sesari instructed. Oddly enough Sesari smiled at her progress.
She made it through the meal alright, she sighed.
Wanting a nap, she was about to lay her head down when Sesari jerked her up. "A slave does not sleep by day. Only night."
"Oh…sorry… I did not know. There are many things I do not know about your people. If you will tell me, I will try to do better."
Rachel glanced around the woods, it was hard to figure exactly where she was, all she could see around them was timber. Buck and Hershel would never find her.
Her hopes were dashed.
She resigned herself to the hard work of carrying water, and washing clothes against the rocks.
When night-fall came she collapsed on the fur blanket. It was a welcome sight and she forgot to eat.
Exhaustion overcame her, she didn't even have the energy to dream.
Chapter Fourteen
"Where did she go?" Buck asked Little Feather.
"She went for a walk. I think she has much on her mind. I do not know exactly how far she walked, but maybe we can track her. I did not hear anything."
Hershel nodded. "If anyone can, Little Feather can. She learned from her father. He was the best. Don't fret Buck, we'll get her back."
Buck sighed a bit and tried to calm down. He couldn't believe this had happened. They'd faced so much together and everything was fine, now this? Rach didn't deserve this.
"I brought her here, I'm responsible." Buck muttered.
"It isn't responsibility making you fret, my friend." Hershel smiled at Buck.
Buck looked stricken. "What are you saying?"
"I'm saying there's more than friendship between the two of you. And you know it."
"She's your wife, for goodness sake."
"Well, not really. I'd say she's more yours, than mine. You stood in for me, as I see it, she's more yours than mine." Hershel laughed, "Come on, let's get started."
Little Feather spotted the tracks quickly, but she also spotted the horse tracks. On foot, there was only so much they could do.
Still, determined to find her, Buck began following the tracks. Hershel hung behind a bit. "Buck, I don't want to sound like I don't care, because I do. But you know as well as I what is gonna happen to her. If we don't find her soon, he'll take her. And in time she'll be more Indian than Little Feather here."
Little Feather nodded. "It is true. Unless we can get to her soon, it will happen, then you might not want her back."
"Go on back to the cabin, Hershel, I'll look for her myself. And you are wrong Little Feather. Whatever happens to her, isn't her fault. And no one will shame her for this. It isn't her doing." Buck gritted his teeth.
"Would you have her, even if Running Wolf did too?" Little Feather questioned.
"Of course I would! If she was mine to have." He answered too quickly. "I mean…if she were a free woman, I would. But she's not."
Little Feather looked at her husband, then Buck. "Then your love is true, and we must find her. For you are already mated by the soul."
"By the time you find her, she'll have been with him. It'll be too late to save her." Hershel said.
"You don't know Rachel," Buck eyed him. "She's tougher than you give her credit for. She won't just lie down for the man, she's a virgin. She'll fight like a cat, maybe even be killed, that's why I got to find her and quick."
"A virgin? Are you joshing me?"
"No, I'm not."
"You were gonna hook me up with a virgin?"
"I didn't know that, until she got here and we started up the mountain. But we talked some and I know she is, even though she never said so herself. Look, I'm going on, if you want to come, then come, if you want to go back to the cabin and wait, then do so. I brought her here, I vowed to take care of her." Buck turned his angry face to them. "I aim to get her off this mountain and back to her people, where she'll be safe."
"We'll go." Hershel frowned at his friend.
"Suit yourself."
Buck tirelessly tracked them into the woods. He saw how the Indian had tried to side track him and he kept up with the tracks.
He was angry, and he didn't know where or how to get rid of the anger. He was angry because he let her get caught. And he was angry at his friend who didn't think she'd be worth going after. But he'd gotten to know Rachel and he knew she was a fighter. She wouldn't give up this easily. He knew that as sure as he knew Hershel.
It was dark and he had to stop because he couldn't make out the tracks any longer.
Hershel and Little Feather made camp and watched their friend.
"She is your woman?" Little Feather stared at him.
"No…she was gonna be Hershel's. Look, I brought her up here. I knew how dangerous it was. I was just hard-headed enough to think we could make it without too much trouble. I was wrong. She came here with the best of intentions. Now she's a captive to some renegade Indian. You asked if I'd have her if he got hold of her, and I said yes. Her heart would never lay with that Indian. But her family wouldn't forgive her. They'd shun her, and she don't deserve that."
"Do you know this Indian?" Little Feather asked.
"Yes, we met him on the trail up here. He wanted her then. And he told us he'd come get her later. I did take him too seriously. I guess he was."
"How did you manage to dissuade him?"
"I traded our horses."
"Arapaho have many wives, sometimes. It speaks well as a provider." Little Feather explained. "He must have a lot of power in his tribe."
"You think he'll marry her?" Buck frowned at her.
"No…she is not willing. And he would be too proud to force her. He will wait and try to persuade her. But for now, he will make a slave of her. And she will do the hardest work in camp. If she fails, he won't have her at all. He would be too proud. But she would be his slave forever."
"A slave!" Buck stood up.
"Yes…" Little Feather bowed her head. But she looked up for a minute. "You love her, don't you?"
Buck frowned. How could he answer that?
"I'm responsible for her." Buck explained. "It's my fault she's where she is."
"You have many troubles to have this woman, but yet you go after her. You love her…" Little Feather walked away. "Only love can force a man to do things he wouldn't normally do."
Hershel came up to him and grabbed his shoulders so he would look at him. "She's right."
"It doesn't matter. Rachel isn't in love with me." Buck walked off.
Hershel shook his head.
Little Feather and Hershel made camp and waited to see if Buck would settle down and wait until morning. After numerous tries at finding the trail once more, he gave up and went back to camp.
"We'll get a fresh start in the morning partner. I'm not about to leave you to get caught in that Indian camp." Hershel announced as Little Feather poured the coffee for them both.
Buck nodded to her, "Thanks. Tell me Little Feather, do you know this renegade we are chasing?"
"I know of him. My father spoke of him several times. He is like a lone wolf, he travels all the time, never staying in one place long. He refuses to live at the Wind River Reservation. He is a stubborn one." Little Feather said her mouth turning downward. "I too want to find her. She is my first white lady friend. I wish to learn from her, as she will learn from me."
Buck eyed her for a moment. "You're a wise little one."
"Thank you," she smiled and looked up at Hershel. "I did not mean to take her husband from her. She must know this. But I have loved him for years, even when I was too young to know better. He has been my father's friend for a long time, and I respected him. I know I am young for him, but that just means I can take care of him for a long time. We are well….what is the word I want?"
"Suited. You are well suited. I gotta admit I think you are right about that. I've never seen Hershel this happy. And I am happy for the two of you. But I brought that girl up here, thinking she would marry Hershel and now look what a mess I've made. And I gotta see her get on her way home. Where she belongs. I mean if that's where she wants to go."
"Are you so sure she belongs…home?" Little Feather questioned.
"Well now, where else would a girl like her go?" He asked staring at them both.
"Perhaps with you!" Little Feather smiled.
"I haven't done a very good job of protecting her while she's been here."
"Your troubles are colored with emotions you are not used to having. Just like Hershel was not long ago. If she gives you her heart, do not throw it away, as it can't be rescued again." Little Feather warned him.
Buck nodded but ignored the warning.
"How you reckon we should go about getting her out of there, Hershel?"
Hershel scratched his head. "I ain't figured that far ahead. But…we'll need to watch them. See if they have some kind of routine, and grab her first chance we get….then run like hell." Hershel laughed.
"Sounds reasonable to me."
"If my father were here, he could help." Little Feather said staring at the ground. "There is one thing…"
"What?" Buck came closer to listen.
"If Running Wolf has many wives, they might not appreciate her. They might be willing to let her go, so if we can catch her with them alone, then we might stand a chance of getting away.'
"Yeah, but he's probably twenty miles from here about now." Hershel figured.
"Let's turn in so we can head out first light." Buck suggested.
"Sure…good idea." Hershel pulled Little Feather down on his blanket then folded her blanket over them. Buck stared into the fire for a long time.
He wouldn't admit it, but they were right. He did have feelings for Rachel, but even he didn't fit into her life. That's why when he kissed her he didn't say anything. She was Hershel's woman, and he couldn't have her. He had stood in for Hershel and somehow that standing in, made him closer to her than he realized. Those vows, he had listened to, they were serious, and when he said, "I do", he meant it.
But when she went back to the city, he wouldn't be able to tell her how he felt. And he wanted to. She was a well-bred woman, she didn't belong out here in the woods and mountains. And yet, she had enjoyed most of the trip and said so.
He'd rescue her, he'd get her down the mountain, and he'd say goodbye the best he knew how and he'd go off somewhere and try to forget he ever met her. If that were possible.
He closed his eyes, and the minute he did, a picture of her played in his head. He tried to shake it away, but it wouldn't go away. He kept seeing her standing there in her wedding dress, with her lovely red hair flowing down her back, and her eyes sparkling with such life.
Hershel and Little Feather put the notion in his head. He'd have to rid them of the idea, before he could rid himself.
Chapter Fifteen
"Now look, I've chopped wood like a man, and hauled it myself. I've tanned hides right along with your wives, I've babysat your children, I've cooked some of the meals. I've not complained once. But…when are you going to see that this isn't working for either of us?"
Running Wolf folded his big muscled arms over his chest. His expression lacked tolerance. He studied her for a while with a smug smile on his face, walking around her, looking at every angle of her. There was no doubt he was probably one of the most handsome Indians she had ever seen but his arrogance subtracted from his charm.
It was no wonder he had three wives and fifteen children.
But his good looks didn't fool Rachel. She'd met many handsome men, with that same arrogant flair about them, and she didn't look twice.
"You are a beautiful white lady, and I wish to have you. Does that satisfy your curiosity? I have never had a white woman."
Rachel stood up, her hands on her hips. "Now wait a minute. We had a bargain. You said you would not touch me."
"Not until marriage no….but after…yes." He smiled crookedly at her. "I would never marry and not touch you, and make you my woman."
He was big, strong, and well put together. But he did nothing for her. A little surprised that she wasn't moved to compliance he stared at her again, this time with a frown.
"I will not marry you!"
"You have no choice. I have chosen you. We will make beautiful children together," He claimed.
She stood up and went face to face with him. "No! I'd rather die first."
Her words seemed to stun him at first, as though he never contemplated other than compliance. His eyes narrowed on her.
"Then it is settled, you will die!" He marched off in another direction. As arrogant as he had been, he was downright flippant about her denial.
Fear speared through Rachel like a hot knife. Why did he insist on this? Why had he not kept his promise to her?
Why on earth had she rejected him so boldly? She knew she wasn't in a bargaining position. Still, the more she acted as though she were, the more confused he seemed.
Sesari came up to her. "You will not be his woman?" She questioned, her expression puzzled.
"No…I will not."
"Do you not think he is handsome?"
"He's very handsome and he knows it. But looks are not everything Sesari. A man is not measured by his looks alone."
"Do you shun him, because he is Indian?"
"That has nothing to do with it. It has to do with feelings, and emotions and knowing someone. I don't love him."
"You are a wise woman. But…he will kill you." Her brow went up as though waiting for her compliance.
"Probably." She glanced at Sesari, "When will it happen?"
"The night of the full moon, three days from now. You will be sacrificed to the great father." Sesari said.
"H-how…?"
"It is for him to decide. You could be roasted over a fire, if it were summer you might be nailed to an ant hill, buried alive. There are many ways to die and the Arapaho knows them all. Whatever he decides." She stared at her. "Are you afraid."
"Of course I am. But I won't marry him…And I'll do everything not to show my fear."
The Indian woman turned her head, and almost smiled at her. "You would have made a good squaw in time."
That evening Sesari and the other wives, Fawn, and Leaping Deer were talking together. Every time Rachel walked by them, they would hush and wait until she was out of range before resuming their conversation.
Before, Rachel had actually engaged in conversations with them, but now, they seemed to shun her. She h
ad no one to talk to. And she knew that it was only a matter of time before her life ended. Somehow she had to come to terms with that.
She stared at them a long time, noting how they all three wore long buckskin dresses and soft moccasins boots. They adorned themselves with beads and feathers, and bathed themselves with the soft petals of roses. Running Wolf's women were well provided for.
Sesari was actually very pretty. She had large dark eyes, and her hair was worn in two braids most of the time. The other two dressed the same, but Fawn, Sesari's sister wasn't quite as pretty in the face. Leaping Deer was older and more haggard looking. But the three of them worked together every day, happy in their chores and content with sharing their husband. Rachel realized that it didn't matter the culture, life was pretty much the same.
So why should there be so much discord among peoples?
Rachel marveled at the Indian way of life. The women did most of the work, hauling wood and water, tearing down the tipis when they moved. The men were mostly warriors and great hunters. In a simple way, they had a normal life. Much like the white man. But the beliefs were very different from the white man. She silently wondered if these people would ever fit into the white world, as they were being forced to do. It wasn't fair, but it was life.
It was a time to think back on her own life. She thought of Buck. She realized how much she had grown to like him on her adventure on the mountain. She wished she could tell him how she felt, but that was impossible. She would die now and Buck and Hershel might find her remains scattered somewhere on the mountain.
Would she be missed? Or would her name disappear among others.
She thought of Hershel too. He was a nice man, he was gruff, and barbaric like in some ways, but she knew he had a gentle heart too. He loved nature and animals, and he was a fierce protector. And Little Feather, the Indian girl who was so enamored with him.
The one thing she saw in Little Feather was her ability to show her love so easily. So naturally.
White women didn't have that luxury.
Funny, that her last thoughts should be of these three, instead of her family. But she realized at this moment, she had already said her last goodbyes to her family. She couldn't return home now. Her stepmother would be appalled at what was happening to her. Her father would insist on her marrying Frank and as soon as possible. And truthfully, she had no desire to ever see Frank again.
Brides of the West-Part One Page 33
