Waltzing into Damnation

by Rita Stradling

  “Hello, Raven,” he says as his neon gaze connects with mine. And something in me, something I haven't felt since last summer, sparks to life.

  My mind screams that this strange sensation deep inside me is because Stephen's face is smiling at me. But all the same, I want to rip that feeling out of me and set it on fire. I want to stomp on that feeling’s ashes.

  I glare at the demon who’s plagued my days and sleepless nights, thoughts and even my dreams when I finally escape wakefulness. I glare at the creature that destroyed my world out of his selfish drive to be loved.

  I need to break from his gaze. I need to say something—anything to knife through this unwanted moment’s connection between us. Standing so close to him, I swear I feel his ravenous energy webbing between us, trying to pull me in. I find myself blurting out, “I work here now. Lifetime contract. If you try to take me, demons will hunt me down and kill me.”

  He tilts his head as a slow smile spreads over his lips, and the tension between us breaks. “You’re fired,” he says. “This is in my control.”

  “Well, if you’re feeling generous…could you fire my sister and Cassidy, too?” I ask as I thank all that’s holy a new lightness has taken over our conversation.

  He shrugs a shoulder. “Yes, they’re fired. I want to do many things that make you happy.”

  As if he could ever possibly do anything to make me happy. I don't say that though, hoping in this initial moment between us I can get enough promises from the demon to keep everyone I care about here alive. “I'm not ready to go with you yet,” I tell him. “You gave me a day and a half more.”

  “And I am not taking you. Not yet. I have something I hope to accomplish in the time so our time together will not be interrupted.”

  Part of me wants to ask him what he’s trying to accomplish, most of me doesn't want to know.

  “I do not like this very strange bathing suit on you,” Andras says as he looks me over. “You look uncomfortable. Do you have anything to change into?”

  I can't help glancing down to my soggy cotton boy short underwear sticking out of the sides of the little red one-piece. Even though the bathing suit wedgie over underwear combo is exceedingly uncomfortable, I’m not about to admit it. “I like the bathing suit. I'm not your dress-up doll, demon.”

  He just gives me a look. “Do you have any clothing?”

  No. I had a couple sets of the ship’s uniform. The skull and crossbones pajama shorts and skate shop hoodie I came in with disappeared from our crew room, and I’m getting the feeling they’re not going to reappear anytime soon.

  “I have enough,” I tell him.

  He smiles as a new amusement lights over his all too familiar features. “Liar,” he says in a purr. “I'll have someone go fetch you a temporary wardrobe from Puerto Vallarta. When we leave in two days, we will buy you clothes in Guatemala. Do you have any possessions with you at all?”

  “Why?” I asked.

  “So I can have them moved to the room next to mine,” he says.

  I literally feel the air suck out of my lungs, and it takes me several tries to be able to speak. “I'm not getting anywhere near your room.”

  “Okay, that is up to you. But if you wish to stay on my ship, the one you are now standing on, you will either stay in my room or the room next to mine. You are not safe anywhere else on this vessel—”

  “Ha! Like you care about my safety. Need I remind you of that time you tried to cut off my head?” I snap.

  “No, you don’t need to remind me,” he says darkly. “I remember everything. Raven, if you choose to leave the ship, do not go too far. No matter where you are, I will come for you in a day and a half. If you stay here, it saves me the journey of coming and finding you.”

  I glare at him, completely and utterly stuck. All I want to do is stay far, far away from Andras’ bedroom, but I can't disembark the ship; the moment I do, Barbas will drag me to Hell.

  I need to be here, but for obvious reasons, I can’t tell Andras that.

  My options are up.

  “What about my friends?” I choke out. “What about Cassidy, Nicholas and my sister?”

  “Cassidy and your sister may leave. I will send no one after them. They can return to your home in California or anywhere they wish with no interference that I sanction.”

  “And Nicholas?” When he doesn't answer me, I insist, “And Nicholas?”

  The amused set of Andras’ features fall away, leaving an expression I can't quite place, but it's not happy. “What are your feelings toward Nicholas Tapper? Is he someone important to you?”

  “No . . .” I stretch out the ‘o’ on the second denial. “Not in the way you’re meaning, no. He's in love with Cassidy, and she's in love with him, but they're not talking about it with each other. Nicholas thinks when Cassidy confessed her feelings, she was under Räum’s thrall. Cassidy probably knows Nicholas is a man-baby with no spine and she’s a bad ass, but she's sticking it out anyways. Still can't really figure that part out, but it's probably because she's lost everyone else thanks to you. And I'm not saying there's anything between us . . .” I gesture between Andras and me. “But I'm definitely saying there is no reason for you to do anything towards Nicholas out of some confused sense of jealousy.”

  Please, please shut up, mouth.

  I manage to close my stupid lips, afraid I'm going to babble myself into a corner.

  That infuriatingly amused smile returns to Andras’ lips. “As a gift to you, I will let Nicholas Tapper leave my ship the Sanctuary alive, but only if he leaves before the ship departs this city.”

  “And you won't send any demons after him or impede him in any way?” I say because he definitely left that part out.

  He regards me. “For five hours.”

  “Two weeks,” I say.

  “Three days, and that is my final offer for my very generous gift to you.” Andras curls his finger into a dripping strand of my black hair.

  “You’re clearly confused about the relationship between us.” I punctuate the words with a glare. “Let me make this a little more clear: I will stick a knife in your gut if you don't stop touching my hair.”

  He obviously doesn't take the threat seriously because his grin only widens, but thankfully he releases the lock of my hair. His hand goes to the hem of his shirt, and he untucks the light blue dress button-up from his suit pants. Lifting his shirt, he displays the cords of muscle there. On his stomach, a red diamond scar cuts into his abs. I stood witness to that scar's creation when Andras, inside of another possessed human, ran his sword through Stephen's stomach.

  “Go ahead,” he says. Gone is the smile. He's deadly serious. “If you want to stab me or anything else, you can at any time. You will face no repercussions, even if you cut off my head. When I return, I will not punish you. Even if you do it again and again.”

  My body stiffens, and my mind blanks. I have absolutely no idea how to process that. He just gave me carte blanche to kill him. So, I say nothing as my hands fist at my sides.

  Slowly, he drops his shirt and tucks it back into his trousers. “The ship will be departing soon. I’ll send someone for your possessions.”

  Blinking hard, I jump back and mumble, “I—I need to say goodbye to my sister and friends and make sure Nicholas gets off the ship before it departs the port. I’m going now.”

  “I would like you to have dinner with me,” Andras says before I can run off. “But I think you will refuse if I ask you to join me. So, I will come by at seven, and you can decide then.”

  Backing away from him, I’m halfway to the sliding glass doors when I realize Cassidy and Nicholas are still naked in the pool and I’m running toward no one.

  Thirty minutes later, we manage to make it down to the crew room. I stare into Cassidy's eyes as Linnie chats with the crew members gathering around our door. I have a feeling they’re all there craning their necks to see Nicholas . . . and maybe me as well. Nicholas wanders over to stand beside me.

/>   “All right, I asked Linnie to distract everyone…well, we had a few words,” he says a little cautiously. His wide-eyed expression still looks a little dazed, and I keep catching him wrinkling his nose.

  “Of course I’ll do it, Raven,” Cassidy says, and in her eyes, I can see she knows what I was going to ask of her without me needing to say a word.

  “Thank you,” I say.

  My sister laughs, and guilt surges through me. For the first time in a very long time, she actually sounds happy. And she’s happy because I told her a lie.

  Linnie had chased Nicholas all over the boat until Andras and his entourage came on. She'd been wise enough to stay back as Nicholas fearlessly charged the three, attempting to bite Andras’ neck.

  Either Nicholas lost some of his intelligence when he became a bunny or he really was that stupid. Thankfully, Linnie found Cassidy not too long after. They'd gone to the upper deck and watched the scene unfold below.

  Because Linnie was up above the entire time, it made it so easy to lie to her. When she finally made her way down as Cassidy and Nicholas staggered naked out of the pool, I told my sister the mission had been successful. I told Linnie that I’m leaving with her today.

  I knew my sister; if I stayed, she would, too.

  Self consciously, I tug at my sleep shorts. Fran, the same female demon security guard, had followed us down with the clothing we arrived in, freshly laundered. She had glared daggers at Nicholas as if he had killed Bad Bunny rather than simply transformed back into a man. If Andras allowed demons to kill Nicholas during this period of time, Nicholas would be ten ways dead the moment Fran saw him.

  “Can I ask you one more favor?” I say to Cassidy as I lean in even closer.

  Tears hover on her lashes, and it’s so strange to see them there on my bad-ass demon hunter friend. “Go ahead and ask, Raven. You know I would do pretty much anything to help you at this point.”

  “I can never repay you for all you've done for me, Cassidy.”

  “Okay . . .” She sniffs and shakes her head. “The deal I'm going to make with you is that you don't say goodbye to me like this is the end. Because it's not. This is just another farewell of many.”

  “Okay, okay. I know. Could you get my sister to Richard Jones? If you could just find some way…” I trail off because it’s such a big thing and they’ve already given me so much.

  But to my surprise, it’s Nicholas who leans in and says, “Yes. I promise, Raven. I'm going to get both Cassidy and Linnie to Leijonskjöld Slott. We’re all going to be safe. Linnie will see Richard Jones again.”

  “Thank you,” I whisper.

  Nicholas and I have been so many things and nothing at all in the two years we've known each other. We started out as maybe-romantic, made our way to maybe-friends, flirted with maybe-enemies, but we’ll end here as friends. That in itself feels like a victory.

  For perhaps the millionth time, I’m so grateful I don’t have the ability to cry.

  Nicholas fixes me with his gray-blue eyes. “Raven, there's something I need to tell you. It's something I’ve been trying to say since Barbas turned me into a rabbit. I think it's the reason he turned me in the first place. We need to find a quiet place to talk where no one can overhear us.”

  “But that's… but that's going to be impossible and—”

  Linnie sticks her head in, brown hair falling around her worried expression. “Guys, someone just told me the last of the passengers have boarded and they’re closing up the docking area. We gotta go.”

  Of course.

  Of course Nicholas finds this very moment to tell me he needs to speak to me in private about something essential.

  “There's no time, Nicholas. Tell me right this second, or don't tell me and go,” I say.

  “I can't. Not right here… if someone overhears . . .” He leans in like maybe he's going to tell me, but then he leans back. “Not here, and I'm not even sure if it's true. But if it is…” He looks down, squeezing his eyes shut. “If it is true, then I am sorry. And I didn't know not until after Thailand. They kept it from me intentionally. And I'm pretty sure Stephen never knew.”

  Dread grips me tighter and tighter with his every stumbling word.

  Linnie glances between us. “I thought you said Andras is going to kill Nicholas if we don't get off this boat? Can’t we do this later?”

  “Tell me,” I say to Nicholas. “You stay, you die. We don’t have time.”

  He squeezes his eyes shut. “If someone overhears, you’ll be in more danger than if you go on not knowing.”

  I pause, then call over, “Yeah, we're going to go, Linnie. We’re going to go now.”

  “Like now,” she agrees, gesturing with her hand.

  Standing there, I get a really good look at my sister. I look at her fierce expression and soft eyes. I want to tell her I love her. I want to tell her if she makes it out of this happy with the guy she cares about, that will make everything I have to do worth it to me. Everything coming for me will be worth it if she's happy and alive. It will be worth it.

  I don't say any of that though. Following after my sister, Cassidy, and Nicholas, we rush through the gray utilitarian crew hallways. As we ascend the stairway, heading into the lavishly decorated parts of the ship, Cassidy reaches over and squeezes my arm.

  Glancing over, I just give her a look and hope it tells her how desperately grateful I am. We push through the doors out onto the second-floor deck and find the ship’s demon security already detaching the dock platform.

  “Wait!” I call through labored breaths as we sprint toward them.

  They don't wait. Of course they don't wait. They hurry.

  Jumping over the security demon’s arms, Cassidy, Linnie, and Nicholas run out onto the platform.

  I skid to a stop, and at the end of the ship, I grab onto the railing as they continue on.

  Halfway down the ramp, Linnie looks from side to side. I can tell the moment she realizes I'm no longer with her. She jolts to a stop, almost tripping as she does. Spinning on her heel, Linnie grabs the handrail of the ramp. Her russet hair whips around as she looks back to me.

  “Raven, they’re detaching the—what—what are you doing?” she yells as confusion and fear fall over her features.

  I swallow hard. “I'm doing the shitty sister thing again, Linnie,” I say under my breath. Louder, I call out, “I'll see you in Sweden. I love you.”

  “No way!” She makes to run back up the ramp, but Cassidy and Nicholas grab her.

  Linnie fights them as her screams rip through the air. The demon security guard pulls back the ship’s long iron hook to the ramp, and I watch my sister punching and clawing, trying to get back as the cruise ship pulls away from the port.

  When the ship turns into open water and I'm finally able to pull myself away, I turn to find Andras. He leans against the doors into the ship. Sunglasses perch on his nose again, hiding his most distinctive feature.

  “You could have kept her here,” he says to me.

  “Except I really, really couldn't have,” I tell him.

  “Come with me.” Andras gestures toward the ship. “I'll show you where we are staying now.”

  I halt, realizing for the first time in a very long time, I'm completely alone with Andras. “You know that demon—the one that took over Chauncey's body? She's been trying to kill me this whole time. It first started in Sweden, and then Thailand…”

  “I know,” Andras says.

  “You know?” I ask slowly as my stomach drops. The worst part about it is that even after everything, I had it in my head that Andras wouldn't approve of Chauncey trying to kill me. I thought he would smite her on the spot. Apparently, for some unfathomable reason, I still have delusions about what this demon feels for me.

  “I can read from your expression that you're furious with me,” he says.

  “I think you have to like someone to be mad at them, Andras,” I say as I pace toward him. “And you couldn't even imagine how much I loath
e you.”

  Andras smiles at me a grin that looks almost like Stephen’s did, a little sardonic, a little fond. “You might be surprised at the depth of hatred I can comprehend,” he says, sending a chill throughout my whole body. “I, for a long time, have known that the demon Lamira that took over your former acquaintance's body is a spy within my ranks. She is a spy that I, unfortunately, cannot obliterate. She answers to a higher power than me; this is why, while some of my orders have seemed to hold, she is still free in many ways.”

  “Isn’t Chauncey . . . or Lamira a lesser demon?”

  “Yes, but she’s powerful. It’s astounding that she hasn't burned through this host yet. Even so, my power is greater than hers. I am capable of destroying her while she’s puppeteering a body. If she tries to hurt you physically, she will perish. ” Maybe he sees the accusation in my expression because he explains, “There are many political alliances among demons. Even Satan hesitates to openly obliterate the fallen, and he is so powerful, he could kill us all.” Andras’ hand goes behind the small of my back, and though he does not touch me, I can feel the heat of it so close.

  A shiver ripples through me. My skull and crossbones pajama shorts suddenly feel too short and tight. I know it’s stupid, but with his hand so close, all I can think about is the fact that I’m not wearing underwear near Andras—and how supremely bad that is. With little time to spare, I had to toss my only soggy pair of underwear away. That fact pops into my head and won’t shake off.

  “You’re with me now, Raven. It will be easier. I’ll do everything in my power to make sure Lamira can never make another attempt on your life. It was only when I was forced away from you that she took these opportunities. And when I see a chance to kill her permanently, I will.” Andras is standing much too close as he tells me this. And I find it so hard to resist peering into his face to judge the expression there.

  When I glance over, he’s less than a foot away. The more I look at Andras, the less he resembles Stephen. That’s good. I’ll never make that mistake again. Not in my mind, and not in my heart.

  My mind has no room for confusion. I’m going to kill him. I will kill him.