Maladapted

by Richard Kurti

  Cillian looked at his own arms. Hadn’t he just seen the incredible strength of his bones? Even so, lifting several tons of metal…

  “You know what the strongest biological material on Earth is?” Gabrielle said, second guessing him again. “Limpet teeth. Ridiculous.” She laughed. “But if nature can gift a mollusc clinging to a rock, why can’t we do it for you?”

  Cillian closed his eyes and let his mind plunge inwards, trying to read the mathematics of his own body, translating biochemistry into numbers…

  For a skeleton to be stronger than steel the fundamental building blocks would have to be reinvented, the chemical bonds realigned. But mathematically, theoretically … it was possible.

  He was possible.

  Cillian clamped his arms around the RoboNurse and tightened his grip until the metal pressed hard into his chest.

  This was possible.

  Numbers don’t lie.

  His body tensed with effort and suddenly energy surged through him. He leant back, taking the weight into his arms … slowly the RoboNurse eased away from the ground, exposing a loom of control cables disappearing into the floor like dangling roots.

  Cillian breathed deeply, relishing the heaviness.

  3 seconds…

  4 seconds…

  He relaxed again, letting all the energy drain into some unknown reservoir, and the robotic arm dropped to the floor.

  Gabrielle and Cole gave him a small round of applause.

  Cillian gazed at the vanquished RoboNurse. “All this time … and I never knew.”

  “It just shows how safe your life has been,” Gabrielle observed. “Until a few days ago, survival had never been an issue.”

  Suddenly Cillian’s mind filled with a yearning for new sensations. “What else can I do?”

  “Addictive, isn’t it?”

  “How far have you pushed this?”

  “How much further is there to go? That’s what you should be asking. That’s when it gets really interesting.”

  “So why the secrecy?” Cillian asked. “Think of the benefits all this could bring.”

  “Sometimes the truth makes people feel … uncomfortable.” Gabrielle chose her words carefully. “There are things we can’t say or do in Foundation City with all its civil liberties and advisory councils. Biological Development isn’t a smooth process, we’ve had our setbacks. Not everyone turns out as well as you.”

  It jolted Cillian back to the real world. “Gilgamesh.”

  “There you go.”

  Dark memories of the mutated, imprisoned children flooded back to Cillian, and he felt an angry stab of guilt for allowing himself to be caught up in Gabrielle’s vision.

  “Where’s Tess?”

  “That chapter of your life is closed—”

  “What have you done with her?” Cillian demanded.

  “She’s telling us what she knows. That’s all.”

  “Let me talk to her.”

  “Really, I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

  “I don’t care what you think. I want to see her.”

  Gabrielle hated it when experiments started talking back. But looking into his determined eyes, she realized that she would have to indulge Cillian.

  For now.

  68

  When would it end?

  When could she close her eyes, give up the fight?

  And just let go.

  Tess could hear a voice talking…

  Her own voice.

  Murmuring endlessly.

  For hours.

  Or was it minutes?

  She was too exhausted to know.

  Too exhausted to concentrate.

  Too disorientated.

  But the voice wouldn’t stop.

  On and on.

  Letting everything out into the world, spilling herself.

  Yet it didn’t feel like her voice.

  The real her was still in hiding.

  She’d retreated deep inside to make a last stand.

  Holed up like a lone gunman.

  A sniper, picking off her enemies.

  But there were so many of them.

  Closing in from all sides.

  So many.

  Destroying everything in their path.

  Dismantling her mind, wall by wall.

  Soon there would be nowhere left to hide.

  She’d fought so hard, but it was useless.

  And now all her demons crawled out of the rubble to torment her…

  The dead.

  In the hot, smoking gloom of the tunnel.

  The dead.

  She knew they were here.

  Waiting for her…

  A photograph fluttered in the darkness. She reached out…

  Caught it.

  A family snap – Cillian and his father, blowing out birthday candles.

  Tess felt herself smile.

  Until dark spots of blood seeped across the picture, staining the happiness red.

  More photographs, falling like snow.

  Thick snow.

  Thousands of family moments…

  But all of them bloodied.

  Dark red blood crawling across memories like a cancer.

  Blood that she had spilled.

  Run.

  Get away.

  A dot of light up ahead…

  Refuge.

  If she could get to the light, she would be safe.

  Salvation.

  But as she ran, a cold hand grabbed her ankle—

  She tumbled.

  Desperately reaching out to break her fall…

  Nothing there.

  Nothing to grab on to.

  She plummeted in the darkness.

  Down into an abyss.

  An endless nothing.

  CRACK! CRACK!

  Gunshots echoing off hard walls.

  She was facing Cillian, her trembling fingers gripping the Luger, holding it to his head.

  Trying to destroy what should never have been created.

  But he wasn’t frightened, his too-perfect face was smiling.

  “It’s all right, Tess.”

  So calm.

  “Do what you have to.”

  CRACK! CRACK!

  And it wasn’t him any more.

  It was Blackwood.

  Reaching out to help her.

  To guide her.

  To comfort her.

  She touched her finger to his head—

  CRACK!

  And a neat bullet wound appeared.

  “It’s all right, Tess.”

  He slumped to his knees, into a pool of his own blood…

  So much blood.

  A lake of blood surging through the tunnels, washing away walls and platforms and train tracks.

  Tess slipped as her feet were swept from under her.

  She was lost again.

  Adrift on a sea of blood.

  And guilt…

  Blood and guilt.

  CRACK! CRACK!

  2 more bullets…

  She was standing in front of a mirror on Judgement Day.

  But there were no bright lights, no Pearly Gates.

  This was the bathroom in the Bullet Train.

  Speeding her to damnation.

  “How to get the most refreshing and hygienic afterlife—”

  Tess hit Mute.

  She stared into the mirror, watching herself age … her skin wrinkle … her hair thin and grey … her eyes dull; she felt her body ache with fatigue…

  A body that was as wasted as her own life.

  A life of misguided choices.

  Of misery and murder.

  Her sense of failure was so overwhelming, it begged only one question…

  When—

  Would—

  It—

  End?

  69

  “What have you done to her?” Cillian stared through the glass at Tess’s body floating in the dark liquid like a corpse.

  “Don’t feel sorry for her,�
�� Gabrielle said calmly. “She is ignorance and death.”

  “What have you done?”

  “We’re doing what the police can’t.” Gabrielle was unwavering. “It’s been days since the Metro attack and they’ve got nowhere. But in a few hours…” She glanced at Tess. “We know she’s Revelation. She may even have planted the bomb that killed your father. So don’t feel sorry for her.”

  Cillian felt his anger melt into confusion.

  He stared through the observation window. “That was a tragedy. It should never have happened.” Tess had said that to him only yesterday. If she really believed that, how could she have actually planted the bomb?

  And if she was a murderer, why wasn’t he lying dead in the crypt of the cathedral? So many things refused to fall into a pattern.

  “She’s probably been with them since she was a child.” Gabrielle scanned the preliminary pattern-recognition results. “Indoctrinated. Trained to kill.”

  Suddenly Tess’s body started to spasm, sending ripples across the tank. Paige and the other operators hurriedly checked their monitoring screens.

  “It’s just her nerves reacting,” Gabrielle said. “Always looks worse than it is.”

  But Cillian couldn’t watch any more. “Whatever she’s done, it doesn’t justify torture.”

  “I think you’re wrong there. She’s a dangerous extremist. And she’s waged war on everything Foundation City stands for.”

  “I don’t want to be part of this.”

  Gabrielle found him sitting on the floor in the corridor outside. “It’s a lot to take in, I know.”

  “Just leave me.” Cillian refused to look at her.

  “You have to get some perspective on this.” She sat down next to him. “For 3 billion years, life has been driven by random mutations. But because of what we’re doing here, we can choose who we are … what we are. Some people can’t handle that, which is why they’ve turned to violence to destroy our work.” Gently she put her hand on Cillian’s shoulder. “To destroy creations like you.”

  “But when you destroy people, that’s OK.” He glared at her.

  “In a thousand years time, people will look back and be grateful for the courage we showed. For not flinching. The truth isn’t always comfortable, but that doesn’t stop it being true.”

  “Everyone thinks they’re driven by truth.”

  “Revelation is full of yesterday’s people. All their ignorance achieves is pain and suffering. Science is the only way we’ll survive. And that is the truth.” Gabrielle stood up, straightened her clothes and walked away.

  For a few minutes, Cillian didn’t move. He no longer knew where he could go, or where he belonged.

  The control room doors clicked open and a young woman came out. She glanced at him uncomfortably and went to speak, then thought better of it, turned and hurried away.

  Cillian watched her go, waiting to see if she would change her mind. “The only mistake she made was to follow, to do as she was told.”

  Paige stopped in her tracks.

  “There were people who controlled her. Made her think it was her duty to obey. I’m sure you know what that feels like.”

  Paige turned and looked at him. He could see the guilt in her eyes.

  “But in the end, she made her own choice.” Cillian stood up and walked towards Paige. “Isn’t that what counts? Making a choice?”

  “It’s too late now.”

  “Don’t say that.”

  “She’s finished.”

  “I’ve seen Tess fight. She doesn’t give up that easily.”

  70

  The sound of her own breathing.

  The feeling of her lungs expanding and contracting.

  Slow and steady.

  There was nothing else.

  No liquid engulfing her.

  No images bombarding her mind.

  No memories tormenting her.

  Now there was just emptiness.

  Stillness.

  Peace.

  Perfect peace stretching in all directions.

  “Tess … Tess…”

  The voice was faint, calling out from far away.

  Faint, but familiar.

  “Tess… Open your eyes.”

  Leave me.

  “Tess.” The voice was impatient. “Come on!”

  Why did he want to pull her away from the tranquillity?

  What difference did anything make now? She had nothing left.

  She was lost.

  Fingers touched her eyelids and gently lifted them.

  Tess winced. The light was dazzling, painful.

  “We haven’t got long,” a different voice urged. A woman’s.

  Tess felt arms around her, lifting her up, carrying her, wrapping her in warm clothes.

  She could smell his skin, and it was so familiar.

  She opened her eyes. Her face was resting on his shoulder. She watched the muscles in his neck tense as he carried her…

  Running down dimly-lit corridors lined with pipes.

  Following the woman—

  Who swiped open all the doors—

  Who knew all the security codes.

  The bitterly cold air hit Tess like a shockwave. Immediately she started shivering.

  “Stand up.”

  Hands placed her feet on the ground, but her legs buckled and she slumped.

  2 arms caught her. Held her tight.

  “Stand up! You have to stand.”

  Willpower.

  She concentrated on tensing her muscles.

  Taking her weight until she was standing.

  Swaying unsteadily, as her body’s memories started to trickle back.

  “Look at me.”

  Slowly she opened her eyes … pulling him into focus…

  “Cillian,” she whispered.

  “You have to run.”

  She shook her head.

  “You have to.”

  “Not on my own. Come with me.”

  “I’ll only put you in more danger. It’s me they really want.”

  Tess saw the woman behind him, standing by the service doors. “Cillian – let her go,” she urged. “Now!”

  He gripped Tess’s shoulders, trying to will her to her senses. “Remember your training. It’ll come back to you. But you have to run. These people will kill you.”

  Tess looked down. “I deserve it…”

  “Don’t ever say that!” His warm hands cradled her face.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “For everything.”

  “I know.”

  Tess looked into his perfectly identical eyes.

  After everything she’d done…

  After all the reasons there were to hate her…

  He didn’t.

  “Can you forgive me?”

  “Doing the right thing in a screwed up world … that’s the hardest thing of all.”

  Gently Cillian leant forward and kissed her.

  Briefly.

  Softly.

  “Now run. And don’t look back. Ever.”

  71

  Run. Easier said than done.

  Before she could run, Tess had to walk.

  Block after block, trying to get her body and mind working again.

  Trying to rebuild the mental landscape that had been obliterated in the immersion tank.

  As she wandered from quarter to quarter in the bitterly cold small hours, her eyes hunted for the familiar: buildings, shops, streets, anything that would give her a jolt of recognition.

  But it was a strange time of night. This was when the City healed itself; when garbage was spirited away and power cycles switched to recharge; when burnt-out bulbs were replaced and faltering traffic signals repaired; when an army of nocturnal cleaners removed the dust from millions of desks.

  She tried to think of people she knew, friends in the rolling-estates who could shelter her. But as her mind picked its way through the list she realized the chilling truth: everyone she knew was linked in some way to R
evelation.

  Tess huddled tight against the biting cold wind. Her only chance of survival was to get out of Foundation City altogether.

  Far away.

  She was running from Revelation and she was running from P8. If she could escape into the wilderness of the Provinces, maybe she would finally be beyond everyone’s reach.

  But with no identity card, no money, no smartCell, it would be almost impossible to move.

  Almost.

  She would need to draw on every drop of training she once had—

  If only she could remember it.

  Think.

  Concentrate.

  Head down, hands driven into pockets, Tess walked, marshalling her thoughts, step by step.

  Training drills.

  Survival techniques.

  They were all in her mind…

  Somewhere.

  72

  “After all the intelligence we’ve gifted you, how could you let yourself be manipulated by her?” Gabrielle couldn’t comprehend his logic.

  “I wasn’t manipulated,” Cillian insisted. “I showed compassion, pity – human emotions. Things you haven’t got around to correcting yet.”

  “So you chose to help a terrorist? And that’s better?”

  Suddenly the door opened and Cole entered. “Paige has gone as well. It was her codes that unlocked the service areas.”

  “Shit!” Gabrielle hurled her smartCell to the desk in frustration, sending pencils skittering to the floor. “I knew Paige was weak. I should’ve done something.”

  “Security are on it,” Cole said hurriedly. “We’ll bring her in.”

  “Both of them. I want them both back here in 24 hours. Back here … or dealt with.”

  “OK. It’s done.” Cole hurried away.

  “You see?” Gabrielle turned back to Cillian. “It won’t do any good. It was a futile gesture. Tess will pay for what she’s done, one way or another.”

  “Do you really believe she had any more choice than those victims in your glass cells?”

  “Spare me the moralizing. She murdered your father.”

  “But she saved me.”

  “Only so she could use you.”

  “And you haven’t? All I’ve ever been to you is an experiment. But when Blackwood’s finger was on the trigger, you were nowhere to be seen. Left to you, I’d be dead.”

  “So I played brinkmanship with your life. And? Children have to learn about risk the hard way.”