The Nerd Who Loved Me

by Vicki Lewis Thompson

  "Pleased to make your acquaintance." Leo surveyed Lainie, his dark eyes speculative, as he shook her hand. But when he looked at Dexter, his features softened and he walked over and crouched down, exactly as Rona had. "Hi, there, Dex. Looks like you and Fred are buds already."

  "Yep." Dexter's face was glowing with joy and shiny with dog spit. He smiled at Leo. "I have a question, though."

  Leo looked pleased. "Questions are great. Shoot." "Mommy and Mr. Harry wouldn't tell me, but I bet you know, 'cause you're a man."

  Instantly Lainie knew what was coming. "Dexter, let's not discuss—"

  "What's 'erectile dysfunction'?"

  Leo blinked and cleared his throat. "An urban legend."

  "A legend?" Dexter's forehead crinkled. "You mean like a movie?"

  "Never mind, Dexter." Lainie's face grew hot. "That's not a subject to discuss right now." She noticed that Harry had strolled to the end of the kitchen, where a round table sat in a little nook surrounded by windows. She could have sworn she'd heard him choking back laughter.

  "But the radio said all men ought to know about it, Mommy! And I'm going to be a man when I grow up, so I need to know! Specially if it's a legend."

  Rona flipped the switch on the coffeemaker and turned around. "Dexter, I can tell you what erectile dysfunction is, even though I'm not a man."

  Leo got to his feet and backed away. "It's got nothing to do with me, I can tell you that much."

  "I didn't say it did." Rona smiled at him. "But I be­lieve in answering honest questions."

  "Me, too!" Dexter scratched behind Fred's ears.

  Rona took the mug of hot water out of the microwave and emptied a package of instant cocoa mix into it. "Well, Dexter, it takes a daddy and a mommy to make a baby. Do you know about that?"

  "Yep. I know. Mommy told me. They get together, and then the mommy gets a fat belly, and then the baby comes out."

  "Well, if the daddy has erectile dysfunction, that means he can't help make the baby." She took a spoon from a drawer and stirred the cocoa.

  "So that's all it is." Dexter's shoulders slumped with obvious relief.

  "That's all." Rona glanced over at Leo and winked. "No big deal."

  "So if the daddy has erectile dysfunction, then the mommy won't ever be . . . that other thing I'm not sup­posed to say."

  Rona turned to look at him. "What other thing?"

  "What you said on the phone to Mr. Harry. It means 'pregnant.'"

  Leo coughed and looked away, hiding a smile.

  Rona's eyes grew wide and then she blushed. "Oh. Um, Dexter, I shouldn't have used that kind of language."

  "You're a grown-up, so you can. Mommy said it's a grown-up word."

  "Well, this grown-up wishes she'd kept her mouth shut. But thanks for saving my bacon, Lainie." Rona smiled apologetically at her. "I shouldn't have said it. I'm sorry."

  "No problem." Lainie wasn't offended in the least, but she was still very curious.

  "Dexter!" Rona said brightly. "How would you like to roll the ball for Fred?"

  "I would love it."

  "Ask him to get it for you, and then roll it and he'll chase it. No throwing, though. Just rolling."

  "O-kay." Dexter leaned close to Fred. "Get your ball, Fred! Go get it."

  Fred scampered into the living room and Dexter fol­lowed.

  "Whew," Rona said. "I'm going to have to watch my­self around that little guy."

  "Which reminds me," Leo said. "For your information, erectile dysfunction is definitely a big deal." Then as he passed Rona on his way to the double-wide refrigerator, he swatted her on the rump. 'To some of us, anyway."

  "Dexter caught that on the radio on the way over," Lainie said. "We couldn't shut it off in time and I'm afraid he picks up on everything."

  "Nothing to be afraid of," Rona said. "Be glad he's smart." She glanced the length of the kitchen to where Harry was standing. "The only problem comes when they tend to overthink the big questions, like when to marry and who to marry, stuff like that."

  Harry gave her a long-suffering look. "I'm going to pretend I don't know what you're talking about."

  "Who wants a little Baileys to go in the coffee?" Leo asked, pulling a bottle out of the refrigerator. "I have a feeling this is a good time for Baileys, what with folks climbing out of second-story windows and debating the merits of matrimony. And just let me add, Rona, my love, that you're as skittish about traipsing down the aisle as your son. It's the pot calling the kettle, if you ask me."

  "I have my reasons."

  "Thanks for the help, Leo," Harry said.

  "You're welcome. Will you join me in some Baileys?"

  "I think I'd better stick with the coffee for now."

  Leo gestured with the bottle. "Lainie?"

  "Just coffee for me, too, thanks," she said. She'd de­cided one cup of coffee would at least show that she ap­preciated the effort Rona was making, and the scent of freshly ground beans tantalized her. But she didn't dare add anything that might dull her wits.

  "Then have a seat, have a seat." Leo waved her toward the table. The windows looked out on a community pool, glowing blue in the darkness.

  Lainie had the urge to go over and close the mini-blinds, but decided she was being paranoid. "I really don't need to be waited on," she said. "Is there anything I can carry over to the table?"

  "Those cookies." Rona nodded toward a package of Double Stuf Oreos on the counter.

  "Sure thing." Lainie picked up the package and car­ried it to the table, her four-inch heels clicking on the tile.

  "Say, can I take your coat?" Leo asked.

  "Thanks, but I think I'll keep it on."

  Tapping the spoon on the edge of the mug, Rona glanced over her shoulder. "If you're worried because you have on a dance costume, don't be. We're used to that around here, aren't we, Leo?"

  Leo chuckled. "Ain't that the truth. You never know when the TITS are going to start bouncing around."

  Lainie stared at him. Surely she'd misunderstood that last part. Surely he wasn't referring to Rona's—

  "Oops, sorry." Leo flushed and sent a guilty glance toward the living room, but Dexter was too involved with Fred to hear anything. "I'm so used to talking about them, I sort of forget what I'm saying."

  Harry cleared his throat. "Before this gets any worse, I'd better tell Lainie that it's an acronym for Temptresses in Temporary Suspension. Mom and her retired showgirl friends have formed a social club."

  "Oh. Harry didn't tell me you were a dancer."

  Rona straightened her spine a fraction. "For thirty years."

  "Wow." Lainie's image of Harry shifted dramatically.

  So Rona had been a showgirl. That fit. She moved grace­fully and appeared to have a good figure under the black robe. Now Rona's comments added up.

  She must have supported herself and her child by dancing just as Lainie was supporting herself and Dex­ter. It gave Lainie hope to see that life had apparently turned out well for both of them, even if Rona was dis­appointed that she didn't have any grandchildren yet.

  "Everything's ready," Rona said. "Leo, if you'll pour the coffee, I'll get Dexter and help him wash his hands at the sink."

  "Oh, I can do that." Lainie automatically assumed her duty as the one in charge of Dexter.

  "I know you can." Rona smiled at her, holding her back with a glance. "But let me. You and Harry go sit down. Leo and I are used to working in this kitchen to­gether."

  Lainie hesitated and then decided to follow instruc­tions. "All right. And thanks." She took a seat at the table and told herself not to settle in too much. But she'd had so little support in this mothering business and had paid for any and all help she'd had. Here was a woman who relished the job of caring for Dexter, and that felt nice for a change. She listened to Rona and Dexter gig­gling over the hand-washing and sent the little boy a silent apology for all he'd missed in life.

  Leo set down three mugs of coffee. "All her friends have grandchildren," he murmu
red as he scooted mugs in front of Lainie and Harry.

  Harry sighed and pulled his coffee closer. "And you might as well add that I've selfishly deprived her of that."

  "Well, it's time," Leo said.

  "But I haven't—" Harry broke off when Rona and Dexter arrived. Rona carried her coffee and a cup of co­coa mounded with whipped cream. Dexter clutched a stack of napkins, which he carefully parceled out to everyone.

  Rona set down both drinks. "I'll go get the special chair."

  Dexter looked up. "Special chair?" "For special people."

  "Like me?" Dexter grinned. He was obviously revel­ing in the attention.

  "Exactly like you." Rona tweaked his nose before walking back to the kitchen. She returned with a combi­nation stepladder and chair that put Dexter at the perfect height to reach the table.

  Dexter climbed into it and beamed at the group. "Great. Now let's clink."

  Leo stared at him. "Clink?"

  "He means toast," Lainie said. "Whenever we have a special occasion, we clink our glasses together." She'd had to create special occasions out of ordinary things like finding a penny on the sidewalk, because they'd had so few real occasions to toast.

  "Then we should definitely clink." Rona picked up her mug of coffee. "Here's to making new friends."

  Everyone followed her lead, tapping mugs together and reaching way across the table to make sure they clicked mugs with Dexter. Lainie had thought she didn't miss this kind of social interaction, but being here tonight showed how tiny her circle had become. That wasn't healthy for her or Dexter, and she needed to fix it, right after she de­cided what to do about Joey.

  After taking a sip of her coffee, Rona reached for an Oreo. "How long have you been at the Nirvana, Lainie?"

  "Just six months. It's a great job." She wanted des­perately to keep it, but if Joey started threatening to take Dexter, she'd have to leave. "Where did you work?"

  "The Sands, which is gone now, and Caesars Palace. I miss it. That's why the girls and I put on shows in the rec hall, just to prove we can still shake our booty."

  Dexter looked up, his mouth rimmed with a whipped-cream mustache. "Can I see your show? Mommy won't let me see hers."

  "I'd love you to see it, snookums."

  "Good." Dexter drained his mug of cocoa. "Can I be 'scused to go play ball with Fred, now?"

  "Yes, you may," Lainie said. She needed him to leave so that she could give Rona and Leo an explanation for ruining their evening. "And be very careful. Roll the ball, don't throw it."

  "I promise, Mommy." Then he was off.

  Lainie watched him go. "It's way past his bedtime."

  "I have a spare room, if you want to set him up in there," Rona said eagerly. "He does look a little tired."

  Lainie turned back to her. "Thank you, but we really need to go. I'll call us a cab, right after I fill you in on what brought us to your doorstep in the middle of the night. You deserve that much, for being so kind."

  "A cab?" Rona seemed scandalized. "Why would you do that?"

  "I'd better explain about Dexter's father." So she did. As Lainie talked, Rona looked increasingly worried and Leo's face grew dark and menacing. Lainie decided she'd never want to make an enemy of Leo Pirelli.

  "So that's the story," she said at last. "I should have asked Joey to sign papers before I left New Jersey, but I was afraid putting something official like that in front of him would make him change his mind about letting us go. I was hoping he'd just forget about us."

  Rona's jaw tightened. "I can't imagine a man forget­ting about a son like Dexter. Anyone can see he's a very special little boy."

  "He can beat me at chess," Harry said.

  "Really?" Rona blinked in surprise. "I didn't think anybody could beat you at chess."

  "Well, I was a little distracted."

  "Nevertheless, apparently Dexter ranks several notches above the average four-year-old." Rona glanced over at Lainie. "Have you had him tested?"

  Lainie shook her head. The pediatrician, the eye doc­tor, and the dentist had been all she'd been able to man­age. Testing Dexter's brain power hadn't seemed necessary. She knew he was very smart. She assumed his smart genes had been passed down from Joey's fa­ther, the business tycoon. Lainie had never met him, but from Joey's description, the man was a genius.

  Leo cleared his throat. "Let's get back to the matter at hand. From what you're saying, Lainie, I gather you don't think Joey can be trusted around little Dex."

  "That's right. When he drinks too much, he loses con­trol. He wasn't this bad when I first met him, but over the years he's gotten worse."

  "You should have heard him tonight." Harry pushed his empty mug away. "Yelling like a crazy man."

  "So why didn't you call the police?" Rona asked.

  "Well. . ." Harry glanced over at Lainie.

  Her heart swelled. "Because he thought I might be a mom on the run, and he didn't want to get me in trouble. Thank you for giving me the benefit of the doubt, Harry."

  He shrugged, and a faint flush tinged his cheeks. "It wasn't hard. Here was this maniac Dexter was scared to death of, versus a woman who really cared about her kid."

  "So you went out a second-story window," Leo said with a grin. "That's my boy. So, what can we do about this situation? How can Rona and I help out?"

  Their kindness made her want to cry, but she wasn't about to let herself do something so embarrassing. "That's an extremely generous offer, but I wouldn't dream of get­ting you two involved. This is my problem, and I'll han­dle it." She wished that she'd followed through on getting a new cell phone. She'd canceled the old one, not wanting to give Joey a link to her. She'd meant to get a different one but hadn't taken the time. It would have come in handy now. "If I can borrow a phone, I'll call a cab."

  "That's not necessary," Harry said. "I'll take you wherever you want to go."

  Rona leaned both arms on the table and gazed at Lainie, her eyes filled with concern. "And where would that be, honey? You definitely don't want to go back to your apartment tonight."

  "I'll. .. I'll stay with a friend." She hadn't made any friends who were close enough that she'd feel comfort­able plopping herself on their sofa for the night, espe­cially with Dexter in tow. Come to think of it, Harry was her closest friend. She needed to take a cab to disguise the fact that she'd have to stay in a motel and maybe even hop a bus out of town in the morning.

  Leo shook his head. "Lainie, give it up. You have nowhere to go, and we all know it. Here's the deal—Rona and I aren't about to let you take a cab to a motel, leaving yourself and your kid open to whatever this looney tunes father might do if he manages to track you down."

  "But—"

  "We don't know what kind of resources he has," Leo continued, cutting her off. "You say his dad's extremely wealthy. That means there could be private detectives on this. Now, I can tell you're an independent woman—" He paused to give Rona a telling glance. "I happen to be well acquainted with the type. If we were only talking about you, that would be one thing. But we need to keep Dexter out of this guy's clutches."

  "Exactly," Rona said. "And because we can't get the police involved, I think our best bet is to confuse the heck out of this moron and anyone who might be working with him. Fortunately, I have the perfect plan."

  Harry groaned. "God save us."

  Leo laughed. "Like I didn't see that coming." He glanced at Lainie. "Prepare yourself. Rona's a champion planner. True, her plans usually sound a little wacko at first, but trust me, they work."

  "At least hear me out," Rona said. "If you hate the plan, then we can discuss alternatives, but I'm guessing you are flying by the seat of that fancy dance costume you're wearing."

  Lainie realized she'd been made. Rona and Leo were too streetwise to be taken in by her vague references to nonexistent safety nets. And they were absolutely right about keeping Dexter safe. She wasn't sure what to make of Harry's groan when Rona announced that she had a plan. However, because Lainie had no p
lan, she'd be a fool not to listen to Rona's ideas.

  "Okay, Rona," she said. "I'd like to hear what you have to say."

  Chapter Four

  Harry wanted Lainie and Dexter to be safe. He wanted that more than anything. But he couldn't be blamed for being suspicious of whatever plan his mother had cooked up, given her single-mindedness about grandchildren. She currently had possession of a potential grandchild, and Harry didn't think he'd be able to get Dexter out of here with a crowbar.

  In addition to that concern, Harry had caught a whiff of matchmaking in the air whenever his mother glanced at Lainie. Of course Lainie would appeal to her—she saw herself thirty years ago and longed for a daughter-in-law she could relate to. She might let her emotional reaction to Lainie's situation overrule logic, but Harry wasn't about to do that. He planned to help as much as he could and keep his emotions strictly out of it.

  Rona leaned forward and lowered her voice. "My first concern is for that little boy in there."

  Leo nodded. "It's safe to say that's everybody's chief concern. So what have you got, Boom-Boom?"

  Harry was used to Leo's pet name for his mother, at least as much as he could ever be, but he wondered what Lainie would think. From her quick little smile he gath­ered that she thought the nickname was cute.

  However, right now Rona was all business. "Lainie, I think it would be good if you got out of town for a while."

  "I agree," Lainie said.

  "But I don't like the idea of dragging Dexter all over the place, especially if he figures out that you're running from his dad. And he would figure it out. Besides, with the two of you together, you'd make life easier for any private detective Joey might have hired, because you'd leave visual clues all over the place. We can disguise you, but people will remember Dexter. He's that kind of kid."

  Harry couldn't fault his mother's reasoning. He also knew where she was going with it.

  "Therefore, I suggest leaving Dexter here with me."

  "Now there's a shocker," Harry said.

  His mother ignored him. "I'm retired, so I can devote all my time to Dexter. He loves Fred and I think he al­ready likes me a little bit. And he'd be safe. We have great security in this complex."