The Nerd Who Loved Me

by Vicki Lewis Thompson

  "Right." He glanced at her. "So if we are going to stay in one of these units, I'll take the couch."

  She nodded. "Of course. Any other arrangement would be crazy."

  "Yeah."

  Harry followed Lainie out onto the patio. Whew, close call. And Lainie knew it, too. He had to make sure they were never again in a position where they stood within jumping distance of a mattress big enough to do all the things he envisioned doing with her.

  He was so busy thinking about those things that he lagged behind and barely made it onto the cart before Dudley took off at top speed again. As they jounced down the path toward the two-bedroom model, every bump threw Lainie up against him. He was forced to put his arm around her again, and that ate away at his decision not to have sex with her.

  He'd thought about it and thought about it, and finally decided, during that moment when he'd wanted her so much he couldn't see straight, that it wouldn't be fair to either of them. Nothing could come of it, and he cared too much about Lainie to have casual sex with her. But his decision was being put to the test by the unrelenting temptation of breathing in her scent, listening to her voice, feeling her touch, watching her every move.

  Even Dudley had picked up on the sexual heat be­tween them and hoped to use it as a sales tool. Through­out the tour of the two-bedroom, Dudley kept mentioning the intimacy of the one-bedroom and how necessary that kind of privacy was for a married couple if they hoped to keep the marriage hot. Dudley, of course, was not married. Harry wasn't surprised.

  Lainie did exactly as she'd suggested earlier and pro­moted the idea of the two-bedroom, saying it was more flexible and made more sense for a family. Harry argued for the one-bedroom, and watched the color rise in her cheeks, because his preference labeled him as wanting the uninterrupted sexual opportunities Dudley kept hint­ing they'd have.

  Oh, God, did he want uninterrupted sexual opportu­nities. But he wasn't going to allow himself to have them. He was going to sleep on the couch and be strong enough to deal with the frustration. Somehow, he'd make it through the next two nights without giving in.

  Chapter Ten

  Sitting at a plastic table next to the resort's murky pool, Lainie wondered if they'd sold any time-shares at Crim­son Canyons. The concept was great and the view spec­tacular, but the resort left about fifty things to be desired. She decided to concentrate on the red rocks beyond the bedraggled golf course. Thunderclouds billowed up be­hind the formations, and Lainie wished she had some kind of camera for souvenir pictures. No telling when she'd be able to get back to Sedona.

  As Dudley droned on about payment plans and credit reports, she glanced at Harry to make sure he hadn't spaced out again. Good thing she'd checked, because Harry wasn't paying a bit of attention to Dudley. Instead he was staring off into space, his eyes glazed over.

  "So if you'll just sign here." Dudley shoved a paper in front of Harry. "Then I'll send you on your way to your complimentary suite."

  Barely looking at the document in front of him, Harry took the pen Dudley handed him and prepared to sign.

  Obviously all he'd heard was "complimentary suite" and he was ready to put his name on anything. Besides not wanting him to sign anything, Lainie was worried about what name he'd use.

  She couldn't wait to find out. Reaching across the table, she grabbed his arm. "Fred! We have to talk about this! Don't you dare sign that before we've hashed out our differences."

  He looked starded. "Uh, isn't this just a release veri­fying that we've taken the tour, so we can legitimately occupy our room?"

  "Why, no," Dudley said. "That there's the contract for a one-bedroom resort ownership. The way you were nodding at what I said, I thought you understood that's what I was talking about. You want the one-bedroom, you understand the terms I just explained, so the only thing left is signing the contract."

  Harry scanned the paper in front of him and a red flush spread up from the collar of his shirt. "Uh, no, we haven't decided on a one-bedroom, yet."

  "Or a two-bedroom," Lainie added.

  "We each want something different," Harry said. "So that's the crux of the problem."

  Wasn't that the truth, Lainie thought. But right now, the issue was a time-share they were most definitely not buy­ing, because they weren't Fred and Rona Ambrewster.

  "Tell you what," Dudley said. "If you buy that one-bedroom today, you can upgrade to the two-bedroom later. How's that for solving your situation?"

  "I don't think that would be the answer for us," Harry said.

  "Definitely not." Lainie decided more ammunition was needed to blast them out of Dudley's orbit. "You don't know Harry. Stubborn as a mule."

  "Wait a minute," Harry said. "I can be as flexible as the next—"

  "Harry?" Dudley shoved back his hat. "I thought this here was Fred."

  Lainie could have kicked herself. She would have to add that comment and then slip up on the name thing. And Harry was so blitzed from lack of sleep he hadn't noticed. "It's my pet name for him," she said. "It's spelled H-A-I-R-Y, because Fred is ... well..." She glanced at Harry, who was studying the underside of the umbrella with great concentration. The corner of his mouth twitched.

  Dudley grinned. "Okay, I get it. See, that's what I'm talking about. Couples who have pet names for each other aren't going to let a little space problem stop them from buying a love nest in Crimson Canyons."

  Lainie groaned. She'd lost ground instead of gaining it. "I'm telling you, if we get the one-bedroom, I'll never talk Fred into the two-bedroom, and it will be a source of constant friction in our marriage."

  Dudley leaned toward her. "Rona Ambrewster, have you seen the spark in your husband's eyes when he looks at you? That's what can happen to folks when they fall under the spell of this place. You want to fan that spark, Rona. One bedroom, two bedrooms, makes no never mind, but it's my considered opinion you'd do best in the one-bedroom."

  Lainie shook her head. "I want that extra bedroom or nothing at all."

  "And if that's not being stubborn, I don't know what is." Harry crossed his arms and gazed across the table at her.

  "I'm practical. You're stubborn."

  He threw up his hands. "Then I guess it's nothing. You see, Dudley? I'm afraid we won't be buying a unit in Crimson Canyons."

  "Of course you will! Now I'm not supposed to do this under normal circumstances, but you two need that one-bedroom. I'll throw in a free golf cart if you sign the contract right now."

  Just what they needed, Lainie thought, a free golf cart just like the backfiring bucket of bolts they'd been riding in.

  "Sorry." Harry pushed back his chair. "We won't be buying."

  Dudley put a hand on his arm. "Buy her the two-bedroom, son. Sure, sometimes you'll have to drag the in-laws along, but once in a while you'll have her all to yourself, and with two bedrooms, you'll have more space to play, if you know what I mean." He waggled his bushy eyebrows.

  "Nope." Harry stood. "I'm not buying her a two-bedroom."

  "And I'm not agreeing to a one-bedroom." Lainie stood, too. "So that's that."

  "No it's not," Dudley said. "Normally I'm not sup­posed to do this, but I'm leaving the offer open for the next twenty-four hours. I'll check with you folks period­ically during your stay, because I'll bet my hat that you'll change your mind before you leave here. And I love this old hat."

  Lainie exchanged a horrified glance with Harry. The thought of Dudley checking on them periodically was most unpleasant.

  "I guarantee we won't change our minds." Harry stuck out his hand in farewell. "So we wouldn't want to waste your valuable time. Spend it on people who are better prospects. We appreciate your time, Dudley."

  "Absolutely," Lainie said. "And Fred's right. We're terrible prospects. A complete dead end."

  Dudley laughed. "I don't believe that for a minute. I've been watching you two lovebirds, and you might be having a little spat about how big the unit should be, but that'll all get worked out in due course. I'll just keep
this offer open, and we'll write it up before you leave, mark my words."

  "No, no we won't." Harry looked a little desperate. "Don't leave the offer open, Dudley. Close the offer. Lock it up and throw away the key."

  "You let me be the judge of that." Dudley reached in a folder and pulled out a map. "Did they give you one of these?"

  "Yes," Lainie said. "We're all set."

  "Your suite isn't far from the models I took you to see. I can give you a lift over there, as a matter of fact."

  "No!" Lainie and Harry blurted out together.

  "No, thank you," Lainie said, not wanting to be rude. After all, Dudley, or the company he worked for, were giving them a free room for two nights. And she and Harry had never been legitimate customers. "We appreci­ate the offer, but we can find our way."

  Dudley nodded. "Then get along with you. Take care of the fightin' and the makin' up, and I'll be checking with you later."

  I hate to have you doing that, Dudley." Harry pushed back his chair.

  No kidding. Lainie would second that one. She'd thought Dudley was a temporary inconvenience, but ap­parently he was about to become their new best friend.

  "No problemo. You two go have fun, now. Whoopsie, there's my beeper. I'll see you folks later." Dudley hur­ried back across the pool area toward the lobby.

  "Where was that beeper when we needed it?" Harry gazed after him. "I've never worked so hard in my life for a free room."

  "Are we ever going to get rid of him?"

  "Yeah, we are. Starting now by getting out to the car and down to our suite before he shows up again. After that, we're not answering the door or the phone."

  "Sounds like a plan." A very intimate plan, one that would keep them closed in that room together for quite a while. But they weren't having sex. Harry didn't want to, and she didn't want to. Case closed.

  Harry pulled the resort map from his shirt pocket and consulted it. "If I have this place figured out right, we can take that path over there and get to the parking lot without going back through the lobby and risking a run-in with Dudley."

  "Then let's do it." She kept pace with his brisk strides as he started down a gravel path to their right.

  "And for your information, I'm neither."

  "Neither what?"

  "Hairy or stubborn."

  Whoa, mama. She sure wished he hadn't brought that up and refocused her thoughts on a naked Harry. "I was just covering the name slip-up."

  I figured that, but I wanted to set the record straight."

  "Consider the record straight as a ruler." Now that he'd broached the subject of body hair, she thought about his mother's description of his father's sexual equipment and wondered if he'd also be willing to set the record straight about whether he'd inherited said equipment. Probably not. Damn, she could be giving up a most ex­cellent experience. But it was for the best. Neither of them wanted to indulge in cheap, meaningless sex. Nei­ther of them—

  "Stop!" Harry put out his arm, keeping her from con­tinuing down the path beside him as he came to an abrupt halt. "Get behind me," he murmured. "Now."

  "What is it?" Squiggles of fear danced in her tummy, but she wasn't about to use him as a human shield. "Joey?"

  "Nope. Snake. Under that bluish-green bush on the right next to the path. Are you going to get behind me or not?"

  "No, I am not." She saw the snake now, coiled and staring straight at them, its tongue darting in and out. It looked big.

  "Lainie, just do it."

  "So it can bite you instead? I don't think so."

  "I'm bigger than you are, so I could take the bite eas­ier. Plus I don't make my living as a dancer or have a lit­tle guy to take care of, so if I happened to be laid up—"

  "Stop talking like that. You're no less valuable to so­ciety than I am." She didn't want Harry in danger. She hated the idea, in fact.

  He blew out a breath. "You are one uncooperative woman, you know that?"

  "For all we know you'd have a worse reaction to the bite than I would."

  "Okay, I can see we're getting nowhere, so how about if we both back up, very slowly."

  "That's more like it." She kept her gaze riveted on the snake. "How far can they reach when they, uh, strike?"

  "Let's not use that word."

  "Well, it would be good to know when we're out of range."

  "I don't know the answer to that. Let's hope we don't find out the hard way."

  "Right." Heart pounding, she took a step backward. The snake didn't move, but neither did Harry. She poked him. "Hey, buster, you're not backing up."

  "I want to stay here until you're a ways back. Then I'll move."

  "That's what you think." She poked him again. "I'm not taking another step until you do."

  "I do believe we're finding out who the stubborn one is around here."

  "Yeah, you are. Start backing."

  He sighed. "Okay." He took a step and the snake re­mained where it was.

  "I'll bet it doesn't really want to bite us," Lainie said. "We're too big to be lunch."

  "I'm not giving that snake the benefit of rational thought. Keep backing."

  "I'm backing at the same speed you're backing."

  "Hey, folks!"

  Lainie jumped at least a foot in the air and Harry said a few words she'd never heard him use before. Dudley clapped them both on the back.

  "Say, did you happen to notice you're walking back­ward?"

  Harry's breath hissed out from between clenched teeth. "Damn it, there's a snake up ahead, Dudley. Right next to the path." He kept his attention on the coiled snake. "We're trying not to get bit, if it's all the same to you."

  Dudley started laughing. "Oh, that's only Gertie. She's a gopher snake, and we like having her around to control the rodents and such on the premises." He stepped around Lainie and Harry and walked toward the snake. "Go on, now, Gertie. You're scaring the customers."

  As he scuffed his boot in the gravel, the snake un­coiled and slithered off through the bushes.

  "It sure as hell looked like a rattlesnake," Harry said.

  And he'd been willing to sacrifice himself to protect her. "It looked exactly like a rattlesnake," she said. "I don't know how anyone can be expected to tell the dif­ference."

  Dudley turned and walked toward them. "If you're go­ing to be a resort owner, then you need to be able to tell your average rattier from your average gopher snake."

  "We're not going to be resort owners," Harry said.

  Dudley waved a hand as if to dismiss that piece of information. "Your rattlesnake has a triangular-shaped head." Dudley created the shape with his thumbs and forefingers. "That's so there's a place to store the venom, in the back of the jaws. Your gopher snake has a more oval kind of head. Study the head and you'll know what you've got. And there should be rattles on the tail, but sometimes you can't see those. I remember a time when I was show­ing the resort to some people from Arkansas, and we—"

  "Thanks, Dudley." Harry put a hand on his shoulder. "We need to be on our way, now."

  "I understand, I understand. I'll be checking with you folks shortly to see how you're getting along, see if you've come to your senses on this purchase."

  "Goodbye, Dudley." Harry grabbed Lainie's hand and tugged her down the path.

  "Thanks for the snake lecture," Lainie said over her shoulder.

  "No problemo, little lady."

  Lainie hurried to keep up with Harry. "Did he just call me 'little lady'?"

  "Yeah, and maybe he fancies himself as a miniature version of John Wayne. I couldn't care less. Let's get out of here."

  "Right." She liked racing down the path, hand-in-hand, but once they reached the parking lot, he let go of her. And that would be the end of touching for the rest of the trip. It had to be, because touching Harry made her want to forget her principles. Touching Harry made her want to have cheap, meaningless sex. A whole lot of it.

  With great relief Harry helped Lainie into his black Lexus, a haven from a
ll things reptilian. Then he climbed behind the wheel and closed his door with a satisfying thud. He hit the button for the locks as an extra precau­tion, although he didn't think snakes could get into cars when the doors and windows were closed.

  Finally he started the engine and turned on the air. Now this was how life was supposed to be. He leaned back against the headrest with a sigh. Safety.

  "This has been rough on you," Lainie said.

  He closed his eyes. "I was doing fine until we tangled with that snake. I'm not a fan of snakes." He was petri­fied of snakes, but he didn't want to admit the depth of his fear to her. Men were supposed to protect women from creatures like snakes.

  "I suppose they have a right to live like everything else."

  "I suppose." He opened his eyes, sat up, and put the car in reverse. "I'd just like it if they'd live somewhere other than in my vicinity."

  "I can't imagine they have a real problem with snakes around here."

  He smiled at her. Smiling was easier in a snake-free world. "What, are you working for Dudley now?"

  "Yeah, I am." She smiled back. "Normally he's not supposed to do this, but he's giving me a cut of his com­mission plus a Ferrari if I convince you to forget about the snakes."

  "Don't put it past him." Harry followed signs directing them toward the units they'd recently visited. "The guy is obviously having a tough time selling time-shares. Be­tween the product and his technique, it's a wonder he makes a living at this."

  "Maybe this is the only job he can get."

  Harry sighed. "Now I'm starting to feel sorry for the guy. He looks like an honest-to-goodness cowboy, and I wonder how many of them can find work these days. But I sure hate to think of him popping up every few hours while we're here."

  "We just won't answer the door or the phone, like you said." She covered a yawn with one hand.

  That triggered an answering yawn in him, and he realized he was bone tired. That was a good thing, actu­ally, because being tired could take care of his urges where Lainie was concerned.

  "What did Leo have to say on the phone this morn­ing?" Lainie asked.