“Yeah, well—”
“I’m just sayin’, Riley. Just sayin’.”
I followed the fence line along her property, filling my boots with wet snow as I forged the trail to the pond. The “rock of torture” stood covered in snow next to the charcoal colored pond, now frozen with crackled ice. The boulder earned its name because Taylor straddled me on it after many a swim, devouring me with heady kisses while her wet bikini bottoms hugged my tight swim trunks. Nine times out of ten, her swimsuit top would accidentally fall off so her bare chest and mine could warm each other.
I brushed the snow off and perched myself in a familiar position, feeling only icy cold instead of sensual heat pressing my thighs. My teeth tore at the thick envelope until I could stick a frozen finger into the hole to rip it wider. I shook out the contents. A small antique looking silver key, a little over an inch in length, fell into my palm. Reaching inside the envelope and pushing the bubble wrap edges apart, I found nothing more. No note explaining the strange token, or sentiment warning me of a black magic curse. Nothing. The back of the envelope held a postmark for Hell’s Kitchen. How appropriate, given my current life status.
Dropping the key back into the paper pouch, I folded it in half and tucked it in my back pocket. Trudging through the snow covered meadow toward my house, I tried to figure out some hidden meaning, but the burn of frostbite threatening to claim my legs and possibly Riley Jr. by the time I reached the patio doors, trumped my thoughts.
**
The odd, tarnished skeleton key rolled over my knuckles effortlessly, after practicing the move thousands of times. The feeling returned to my toes by the time I mastered my knuckle trick. A heavy R&B beat loudly in my earphones, drowning out the voices downstairs. Some of Jax’s friends arrived about an hour ago, and Dirk commandeered the basement with his buddies to play his cache of new video games.
My phone buzzed and chirped several times, finally falling silent when I never answered. Bailey, Cherish, and Ashley undoubtedly filled my voicemail with messages professing undying love, turning to death threats by now. I played “jackass” without a conscience. I’d learned from the master—Jax, not to mention I’d added a few personal touches to the role, according to Taylor.
Taylor.
I chucked the key across the room, hearing the metallic ping when it bounced off the mirror and fell to the dresser top. My bedroom door opened, inviting the unwanted holiday chaos into my dark sanctuary.
“Riley?” Dad stood in the ribbon of light, appearing ten feet tall. He wasn’t going anywhere, so ignoring him wouldn’t work. I pulled my earphones out of my ears.
“What?” I answered tersely.
“You have a call.” I glanced at my cell phone, lying on the floor next to the beanbag chair serving as my bed during Jaxson’s stay. The light blinked, alerting me of a waiting message, but I wouldn’t break my holiday wallowing to explain myself to any of the drama princesses.
“Tell ‘em I’ll call later.”
Dad stepped closer, handing me the cordless phone from their bedroom. “It’s a ‘ship-to-shore’, Son. And expensive, so take the call.”
He closed the door, returning my room to its darkened state, with the exception of the small screen illuminating my shocked, frightened face. I barely choked out “Hello.”
“Merry Christmas, Riley.” Taylor’s sweet tone summoned a lump in my throat.
“Hi. I mean, Merry Christmas. How’s the cruise going? Wedding done?”
“Yes, Mom is officially the wife of a ‘doctor’.” An awkward silence passed.
“I miss you, Taylor.”
“How’s school?” she replied, purposely ignoring my personal sentiment.
“I’m graduated, but that’s not why you called. What’s this really about?”
Her heavy sigh mixed with the on-line static. “Riley, I’ve met someone. His name is Kai Engal. He’s in my support group. His friend was also raped, but never moved past it and committed suicide a few months back. Kai’s trying to learn how to cope with what happened and how to deal with his guilt. We’ve sort of connected.”
I did not want to hear about some other guy’s ‘issues’, in particular after Taylor introduced him as her new “boyfriend.” Connected. What the hell did that mean? My lungs collapsed and I fought to remain in control. My heart pounded in my chest, wanting freedom to shatter and bleed.
“Is it serious?”
“Me and Kai?”
“No, you and Donald Duck! Yeah, who the hell did you think I meant?”
“Riley…” Taylor’s tone turned hard. I’d crossed another line.
“Is that why you called? To rub me nose in the fact you’ve moved on with someone who understands you better than me?
“Kai is a friend. I don’t expect you to understand Riley, but I need Kai right now. He’s helping me figure out my next steps, and you. We’re not really ‘dating’, but I’m going with him to Cornell in January. Michael’s dad changed the scholarship to whatever university I wanted. A ‘peace offering’, I guess. I wanted to be the one to tell you before you heard from someone else.”
Michael, Michael, Michael! I’d had a gutful of Michael. I tried to check my anger, hold my tongue, but it proved useless. It all hurt too much.
“Cornell. With another guy. Well, I’m glad your life is turning out, because mine just took a major dump. Shit, Taylor. Hell of a Christmas present!” I couldn’t steel away my emotions any longer. My voice held a needy whine in between the heavy gasps for air. I grabbed another new T-shirt from its tissue encasement and held it over my tear-snot stained face.
“Riley? I’m sorry. I’m not saying we’re over…”
“Sounds a hell of a lot like ‘goodbye’ to me. Tell me, Taylor. If I called you and said ‘I’ve met this really wonderful girl who gets me and I’m going away with her to some remote island, how would you see it? I could wrap ‘friend’ into it a hundred ways and it wouldn’t sound ‘friendly’, just like you telling me this shit about some guy named Kai. Honestly, I’m not an idiot.”
“I never said you were. And Cornell is not a remote island.”
“It is to me. Cornell is your dream college, and now, you’re going to share that dream with someone else. Not me.”
“Colorado with you, was my…our dream, Riley.”
“Not any more, is it? I don’t want to argue about this. It’s your life, babe. Live it how you want and with whoever you need. I’m tired of the drama.”
“So that’s it? You’re done with me?”
I opened my mouth to spit out some sarcastic response and thought better. If I wanted to keep any shred of hope of keeping Taylor in my life, I had to shut my fucking mouth.
“No. I’ll never by ‘done’ with you. I love you, Taylor. This hurts, that’s all. I never had a chance to be the ‘one you needed’, but if this Kai dude can help you get happy again, then I want that for you, too.”
“Riley…I love you, too. All this crap with Michael didn’t change my feelings for you. It changed my feelings about me. Until I can get me figured out, I’m not getting involved with anyone. Not even Kai. Okay?”
I mumbled “okay” through a snot bubble.
“Did Grammy give you my present?”
“Yeah. What’s up the key?”
A smile eased into her tone, turning her voice warm and tender. “Keys open and lock things. Right now, my heart’s locked inside yours, but I can’t promise that’s where it will stay. I’m letting you decide what to do now. No strings, Riley. You chose when to unlock the cage and set us free. Take care, babe. Bye.”
Forty-Four
CAGED CONFESSION
Taylor
I fumbled with the lock, dropping my apartment keys a second time. The phone rang again and again. Where was Kai? Why didn’t he answer the blasted thing? Finally, I pushed the door open and grabbed the receiver just before the answering machine clicked on.
“Hello?” I answered breathless, struggling to get my coat off an
d not get tangled in the phone cord. I swear our apartment was retro sixties with a dinosaur phone secured to the wall and a curly cord that hit the floor.
“Taylor? It’s Michael.”
I stretched the cord across the kitchen and fell onto a chair. “Michael?”
“Don’t hang up. I have some news I need to share with you before anyone else.”
I picked up my cell phone, quickly scrolling my apps for the voice recorder. If Michael threatened me, I’d have evidence to keep him locked away.
“Are you still in jail?” My question held some hysteria. If Michael was free, I’d be anything but.
“No. I’m at my attorney’s office with half of Boston’s police force and Dad. I asked if I could make a personal call, if I didn’t leave the room.”
I flipped my phone shut. “So you’re being monitored?”
“Yes unfortunately, because what I want to say to you is private.”
“Michael, I can’t do private with you ever again.”
“I know, but please listen. I don’t have much time. Taylor, first off, I’m sorry…for everything. Not just for physically hurting you, but abusing your mind and heart, too. You didn’t deserve to be treated like that.”
“You’re right. I didn’t. I hate you for what you’ve done to me, Michael. You’ve destroyed my life. How can I trust another guy? God, how do you expect me to ever have sex with someone and not think of you, or was that your plan all along? The unforgettable Michael Barnes.”
Something possessed me and I spewed every vile thought I’d suppressed, calling him despicable horrid names, some of which flowed off my tongue sounding almost poetic. By the time I finished raging, my head hurt and my voice rasped from a sore throat. It suddenly dawned on me, Michael may have hung up at some point and I continued screaming into dead air space.
But he hadn’t.
“Anything else?” he asked, quietly.
“No. So what’s your news?”
“The jury trial is cancelled. I’m pleading guilty to all charges, and a couple new ones. I make a mean drunk and a worse drug addict. Turns out I crave pain killers. I’d popped a bunch of pills before I came to see you, making me brave and stupid.”
“I didn’t know about the drugs, Michael. Why? You had everything going for you. What made you throw it all away? Why hurt me?”
“No one ever held me accountable. Not even you, Taylor. You should have told your parents the first time I hurt you. By keeping quiet, you fed my greed for power.”
“Don’t you dare blame me for you sick choices, Michael!”
“I’m not, Taylor, believe me. But, I know if I’m ever going to straighten out my life, I’ve got to get some help. I’m signing a document admitting to everything and insuring myself a long future with the Massachusetts Correctional System, but also some intense counseling. You don’t have to look over your shoulder any more. You’re free of me, Taylor. For what’s it worth, you’re the only one I ever loved and for once, I’m telling you the truth.”
“I-I don’t know what to say.”
“There’s nothing to say. Promise me one thing, Taylor. Don’t let what I did to you mess up your life. None of what happened is your fault. You deserve to be happy, and out there, probably in the house next to your grandmother, is a boy who’ll love you regardless of my attempt to ruin you. Trust in love again, Taylor. Take care of yourself and find your ‘happy-ever-after’. Live your fairytale.”
The phone went dead. No goodbyes spoken. I didn’t shed one tear.
Later on the evening news, Michael’s story broke. I sat on the sofa, tucked inside Kai’s arms in a state of shock. Two other girls came forward claiming Michael assaulted them. The pictures posted on the screen showed a girl I didn’t know, holding a toddler on her hip I swore was the spitting image of Michael. The second victim’s blue eyes pursed through cyber space and locked on mine. Delany.
The flood gates opened and I cried for the first time since Christmas, after I hung up from calling Riley and confessing to my relationship with Kai.
“She tried to warn me. I thought she wanted to break me and Michael up so she could have him. I dumped her instead of Michael.”
Kai stroked my hair and I buried into his already damp chest. I curled tighter into his embrace, wrapping my bare legs through his.
“Let it out baby. Open your heart and set the evil free.”
**
Pots clanged together, pulling me from my slumber. My nightshirt had worked its way up my waist, but a blanket kept me covered. Always the gentleman. Kai, showered and changed, busied himself making coffee. I stretched my arms over my head and yawned wide, popping my jaw.
“Ouch.”
“Morning, pretty girl. Breakfast’s ready. Better get a move on or you’ll miss your first class.”
Refusing to open my eyes past half-mast, I sauntered to the table, clumsily dropping onto a chair. A huge chocolate chip muffin poised perfectly center on a plate.
“What’s this?”
Kai mussed my bedhead and kissed my cheek before pouring me a cup of fresh, steaming coffee.
“Comfort food. After last night, I figured you’d earned it. How’d you sleep?”
“Okay, I guess. You left me on the couch.”
“I laid with you until you started snoring. I’ve got a test this morning, so I left your beautiful snorting body out here so I could get some decent sleep.”
I scrunched my face and stuck my tongue out at him.
“Don’t stick that thing out if you’re not sharing.”
“Funny.”
“Serious.”
I smashed the final chocolate crumb to my index finger and stuck it in my mouth. “You spoil me.”
“Too much, I’m afraid.”
Kai replaced the plate with my cell phone. “Taylor, don’t you think enough time has passed?”
“I’m scared. What if he’s found someone else?”
“That’s a chance you took when you started this charade.”
“This is not a charade. I told Riley the truth.”
“He knows I’m gay?” My eyes fell away. “Didn’t think so.”
“If he knew there was no chance of us hooking up, he would just wait me out and I’d never know the truth.”
Kai’s leveled a disapproving scowl. “So this little test is to prove he really loves you? Come on, Taylor. The guy didn’t run away. What more do you want?”
“I need him to want me again. The last time we were together, I stood there, naked from the waist up, begging him to touch me. He couldn’t. When he looked at me, I saw pity, not lust like before. He’s careful with how he talks and even kisses me. I don’t want to be with Riley because he feels sorry for me. I’d rather be alone the rest of my life.”
Kai lowered on his heels, bringing his face even with mine. He tucked a wiry curl behind my ear. “Sweetie, he just didn’t want to do anything that would bring back an awful memory. Cut the kid some slack. He’s walking through new territory, too, only you pushed him away. He’s been handling this alone, while you’ve had me to help you.”
He pecked my lips then tapped the phone. “You don’t play fair Taylor. Call him.”
“What if he’s moved on? I’ll die.”
“You won’t die, but you’ll have to convince him you’re worth another risk.” Kai pushed the phone closer. “Taylor, if you don’t do this, you’ll always wonder ‘what if’? Don’t spend your life living with regret. It’s your turn to take a chance.”
**
After Kai left for school, I showered, gave myself a manicure, and proceeded to clean the apartment, completely sacking school. When I couldn’t find another speck of dust or an excuse, I checked the clock. Noon. Four o’clock in Wellsville. If Riley worked today, he’d be leaving in an hour.
Call him…take a chance. Kai’s words nagged incessantly. I coiled into the corner of the couch holding a decorative pillow to my chest. I punched the cell number in. Deleted it. Tapped it again, my finger
suspended over the call button. Call him.
“I hate you, Kai!” I shouted and pushed the button.
Four rings. Voicemail would pick up on the sixth. Maybe he’d already gone to work. Maybe because the caller ID said “unknown” he purposely ignored the ring. I gnawed my thumbnail, contemplating what message I’d leave.
“Hello?”
I threw the phone across the couch as if a bomb about to explode.
“Anybody there? Who is this?”
“Do you hate me?” I shouted from across the sofa.
“Taylor? Is that you? I can barely hear you.”
“Answer me. Do you hate me?”
Silence. The green light flashed, but Riley said nothing. I picked up the phone.
“Riley—”
“No. I love you.”
Tears poured from my eyes and snorts rattled my nostrils when I gasped against the sudden sobs.
“I-I need you.”
**
The metal cage masqueraded as an elevator. The cables groaned and squealed, the stench of heated rubber lingering once it stopped. I pushed the scissor-action gate to the side and stepped into the hall. Riley clung to the back wall of iron rungs.
“Come on. You don’t want it to drop, do you?”
He flew out of the iron box, nearly tripping over his shoes. I laughed so hard I had to brace myself against the wall.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you afraid before.” I unlocked the apartment door and walked inside. Riley remained in the hall. “Are you coming inside or staying in the hallway all weekend.”
“Being scared of your rickety elevator is nothing compared to what I feel right now. Taylor, maybe this is a mistake.”
“What do you mean?”
“Staying with you. In your—yours and Kai’s place. It feels wrong.”
I grabbed his sleeve and yanked him inside, then bolted the door. “You’re being ridiculous. We need to talk, Riley, and me coming to Wellsville wouldn’t give us the privacy we need to sort through things. That’s why I flew you here, so we could be alone.”
Riley's Pond (New Adult Romance) Page 28
