David Hare Plays 1

by David Hare

  Max Oh yes. My dear.

  Jenny The bar’s closed.

  Max Nice place. Where’s the people?

  Jenny Gone home.

  Max Scotch.

  Jenny Max. You look funny without her.

  Max I feel funny. No longer the parrot on the shoulder. I get through whole sentences without interruption.

  Jenny I warned you …

  Max What?

  Jenny That she’d kill herself.

  Max Oh that.

  Jenny That.

  Pause.

  Max Scotch.

  Jenny I think she said, Max, I’m going to kill myself. And you said, ‘Just show me.’ And she did. (Pause.) How many times did I tell you?

  Max Often. You leapt at the opportunity.

  Jenny I was pointing out …

  Max You did best all round.

  Jenny What do you mean?

  Max This place. You win the Shadow of the Moon.

  Pause.

  Jenny I see.

  Max Well, so you’re happy.

  Jenny Max.

  Max Now the lover is buried.

  Jenny He was not my lover.

  Max He just left you the club.

  Jenny It was nothing to do with it.

  Max Tell that to Mrs Malloy.

  Jenny Malloy married …

  Max Malloy’s mother. At the funeral. Mrs Malloy.

  Pause.

  Jenny What are you talking about?

  Max I have a photo of you in a gymslip.

  He steps behind the bar to Jenny.

  With a straw hat and black socks.

  Jenny What about Mrs Malloy?

  Max This is a knife. Kiss me. (Pause.) Hands behind head.

  She does so.

  Now follow me out from behind the bar.

  They come out. We see the knife.

  Sit down. Keep your hands there.

  She sits down. He sits opposite.

  I sit myself down. Don’t move.

  The knife is held by Max for the scene.

  There aren’t many girls left in Guildford.

  Jenny No.

  Max Speak up.

  Jenny I said no, not many.

  Max What with Juliet. And Fizz and Laura gone now. And the other Laura. And Jane Hammond got passed down the line. And the one with the lisp. They tell me Alice has been had by most of the Bank of England …

  Jenny So I hear.

  Max Sally and Pip …

  Jenny Yes …

  Max Both to chartered accountants, inevitably. Gloria, married. Janice. I’m scraping the very bottom of the barrel. Tamara. That doesn’t leave many. Any. Of the ones who used to come here. And the ones who didn’t come here were rubbish. Sarah would do anything you wanted. (Pause.) Rather a disgusting characteristic. (Pause.) Penny on her seventh actor and Jacqueline a nun. That leaves you. Oh, Jenny. What happens to people?

  Jenny I don’t know.

  Max When we came here as teenagers – you and me and Sarah – you never knew what would happen. It seemed the most ambiguous place in the world. Like falling into satin in the dark. And look at it now. (Pause.) Tell me what you think of Curly. (Pause.) You know he’s given up looking for Sarah already.

  Jenny I didn’t know that.

  Max He’s everything the world wasn’t going to be. Blustering. And sneering. And insincere. Is that really what you want?

  Jenny Then put the knife away.

  Max Do you really want Curly?

  Jenny He’s never touched me, Max. (Pause.) Tell me about Mrs Malloy.

  Max Do you really know nothing? (Pause.) She’s in hospital. She may not have been mad when she went in. But she’s certainly mad now. Jennifer. (Pause.) I find your innocence unforgivable. (Pause.) Take off your clothes.

  Nothing.

  Lie down on the floor.

  Nothing.

  Close your eyes, open your mouth, praise the Lord and thank God you’re British. (Pause.) Goodnight.

  Max goes out immediately, putting the knife away. The lights change.

  Jenny Young women in Guildford must expect to be threatened. Men here lead ugly lives and girls are the only touchstones left. Cars cruise beside you as you walk down the pavement, I have twice been attacked at the country club, the man in the house opposite has a telephoto lens, my breasts are often touched on commuter trains, my body is covered with random thumbprints, the doctor says he needs to undress me completely to vaccinate my arm, men often spill drinks in my lap, or brush cigarettes against my bottom, very old men bump into me and clutch at my legs as they fall. I have been offered drinks, money, social advancement and once an editorial position on the Financial Times. I expect this to go on. I expect to be bumped, bruised, followed, assaulted, stared at and propositioned for the rest of my life, while at the same time offering sanctuary, purity, reassurance, prestige – the only point of loveliness in men’s ever-darkening lives.

  SCENE TWELVE

  Guildford Railway Station. Night.

  Jenny is sitting on a bench reading a newspaper. A Porter and Curly enter from opposite sides. Curly has a briefcase and umbrella.

  Jenny Well. You’re getting very hard to find.

  Curly Get my luggage, will you? And a taxi.

  Porter Sir.

  The Porter goes out.

  Jenny (allowing nothing) They tell me your heart’s gone out of it. The investigation.

  Curly Can’t do it all the time.

  Jenny Even thinking of a job. Insurance. Something like Lloyd’s.

  Curly Well, I’ve been up to town. Just to talk it over.

  Jenny Costs a lot of money.

  Curly Seventy-five thousand entrance fee. That’s all a chap needs. Buy himself a slice of security.

  Jenny (lethally) I brought you the keys to your car.

  Jenny throws the keys over. Curly catches them, embarrassed.

  Little man.

  Curly (smiling) Jenny.

  Jenny And some information. (Pause.) I’ve been to see a Mrs Malloy. She’s seventy-three. Initials E. R. Malloy. As, she said, like the Queen. Am I keeping you?

  Curly No, no.

  Jenny Malloy’s mother lived in one house for the whole of her life. A Victorian house in the centre of Guildford. Married for a month in 1918 before her husband was killed at Chemin des Dames. At the age of sixty-eight she transferred the house into her son’s name. Tax dodge: you avoid death duties. Standard practice round here. She put it in her son’s name. But she went on living there herself. So. Central Guildford. Torn apart as you know. And some developers bought the rest of the block. It tempted Malloy. He held the deeds. There was only one obstacle. His mother had lived there the whole of her life. He held out for a couple of months. Then suddenly cracked. He had her committed.

  Curly Was she mad?

  Jenny Oh, Curly, come on.

  Curly Was she mad?

  Jenny She was mad when enough people needed her to be. Let’s face it. She was pushed. Malloy signed the committal order.

  Curly Is there any actual evidence she was pushed?

  Jenny Oh, Curly …

  Curly How much did he make?

  Jenny Two hundred thousand.

  Pause.

  Curly She was pushed.

  Jenny (rising) And another property thrown in. A run-down old barn on the other side of town. A nightclub called the Shadow of the Moon. Mrs Malloy in the mental hospital sent her nurse on an errand. The nurse was Sarah. Where the old woman’s house had been she found seventeen floors of prestige offices crowned with an antique supermarket. She went back to the hospital. Everyone should know everything. That’s what she said. She told the old woman her house had gone. If she wasn’t mad before, she certainly is now. (Pause.) Sarah was electrified when she found out. No wonder she rowed with Malloy. Can you imagine? Her friend Malloy – one of life’s losers turns out to be a shark. She would have flipped. She would have told everyone. But the amazing thing is: she didn’t. For the first time in her life she kept somet
hing secret. From me, from everyone. Except Max. Max was a journalist. He would have said what a wonderful story. ‘Stockbroker Swindles His Own Mother In Property Deal’. But the story never appeared. I think he went to Malloy and blackmailed him. (Pause.) Do you want to go back to London?

  Curly How do you know all this?

  Jenny Partly from Max.

  Curly Did he tell you?

  Jenny He …

  Curly What?

  Jenny Signalled he knew.

  Curly How?

  Jenny With a knife. He came to the club last night. He thought I knew.

  Curly What made him think that?

  Jenny Because Malloy was in love with me, that’s why he left the Shadow of the Moon to me. Max thought it was because Malloy was my lover.

  Curly Whereas in fact …

  Jenny It was because he was never my lover.

  Curly Yes. That makes perfect sense round here. So if Max did blackmail Malloy, you’re saying he only had one problem …

  Jenny The old problem we have met before.

  Curly How to close Sarah’s mouth.

  Jenny Sarah will want to know why Max hasn’t published the story.

  Curly God …

  Jenny How to shut her up …

  Curly What a beautiful girl this Sarah is. Niagara. Vesuvius. Grinding on against injustice and the misery of the world.

  Jenny Max’s only problem …

  Curly Yaaar.

  Pause.

  Jenny Is that what happened?

  Curly Why take her to the Crumbles?

  Jenny Because in 1924 there was a particularly disgusting murder there.

  Curly Well, exactly.

  Jenny What?

  Curly Why draw attention to yourself? The Crumbles. The worst possible place. It’s the Wembley Stadium of murder already.

  Jenny (quietly) Right.

  Pause. Curly turns and looks at her.

  Curly What do you mean he had a knife?

  Jenny I’ve just said it.

  Curly Tell me.

  Jenny shakes her head.

  What happened?

  Jenny Why should I?

  Curly Jenny.

  Jenny He never came near.

  Curly Jenny. (Pause.) I’m not telling you the truth.

  Jenny I wouldn’t expect it.

  Curly I don’t like to be honest. It’s not in my nature.

  Jenny (smiling) Go on.

  Curly I’d heard a bit about Malloy, not about his mother, that surprises me, but about his house. You see, on a crooked deal a blackmailer will have a choice of targets. Malloy. Or the property company. Or the man who finances the property company. That old Victorian house? Patrick’s money bought it.

  Pause.

  Jenny Max blackmails Patrick …

  Curly Congratulations.

  Jenny Max gets rid of Sarah, then forces Patrick into confirming his ludicrous alibi about the dog.

  Curly You’re very quick. (Pause.) They seem to have lost my luggage.

  Jenny Which one will you go for first?

  Curly You’re very keen.

  Jenny You getting frightened, Curly? Is that what it is? Losing your nerve? Frightened to hurt your father? Frightened to face up to him?

  Curly Face up to Spats.

  Jenny What luggage?

  Curly All my things. I’m moving down here. Get a job. Get a house. I like the atmosphere. (Pause.) Don’t stare at me, kid. (Pause.) Listen, the story’s ridiculous. It’s full of holes. If Max went to blackmail my father, he would have just said he didn’t know.

  Jenny But for the property company conning an old woman is bad publicity.

  Curly It happens all the time. It’s called business practice, people go to the wall.

  Jenny Nobody would believe them.

  Curly They’d say they didn’t know. It’s just a matter of keeping your nerve and a plausible story.

  Jenny Who’s to say it’s plausible?

  Curly Exactly. Newspapers can be bought, judges can be leant on, politicians can be stuffed with truffles and cognac. Life’s a racket, that we know.

  Jenny Christ, I’ll make a person of you yet.

  Curly Forget it. (Pause.) Listen – sugar plum – the horror of the world. The horror of the world is there are no excuses left. There was a time when men who ruined other men, could claim they were ignorant or simple or believed in God, or life was very hard, or we didn’t know what we were doing, but now everybody knows the tricks, the same shabby hands have been played over and over, and men who persist in old ways of running their countries or their lives, those men now do it in the full knowledge of what they’re doing. So that at last greed and selfishness and cruelty stand exposed in white neon: men are bad because they want to be. No excuses left.

  Jenny You mean you’re not going to see him?

  Curly (smiling) No, I’m not.

  Jenny Well, why not just say that? (Pause.) Like to have known you better, Curly.

  The Porter wheels on Curly’s luggage, a huge Singapore trunk. Jenny goes out.

  Porter Here she is, sir. (Pause.) Moving down here, are you, sir?

  Curly No. Change of plan. Left luggage. Twenty-four hours.

  Curly heads off. ‘We’ll Gather Lilacs’ is heard, Lomax-style.

  SCENE THIRTEEN

  The Shadow of the Moon bar. Night.

  The Barman is alone behind his bar. Curly walks in, vicious, drunk and smoking.

  Curly Give me a Scotch.

  Barman Right away, sir.

  Curly And don’t be so bloody pleasant.

  Barman Sir.

  Curly Now go upstairs, knock politely on her door and tell her there’s something slimy to see her.

  He takes the bottle and glass.

  Barman Sir.

  The Barman goes out.

  Curly (shouting) For God’s sake, Lomax, give us all a break. Just shut up.

  ‘We’ll Gather Lilacs’ stumbles and stops.

  (sitting at the table) Not as if anyone was dancing up there. Just looks like the bloody Titanic.

  The Barman returns.

  Barman She says …

  Curly Yes, Barman?

  Barman She says, ‘Piss off.’ Sir.

  Curly White-knickered do-good cock-shrivelling cow.

  Barman She wants you to go, sir.

  Curly Want to make something of it, Barman?

  He threatens the Barman with the bottle.

  Barman Sir.

  Curly I’m glad I didn’t sell you a gun.

  Jenny (off) Mike. Get scraping.

  Curly turns at the strips.

  Curly Down I go.

  Curly exits.

  Lomax (off) Come on, everybody. Let’s bossa nova.

  The Lomax Band plays a bossa nova.

  SCENE FOURTEEN

  The Hospital Grounds. Night.

  Max is tapping his knife, unopened, against his hand. After a moment Curly appears, in a big overcoat.

  Curly Hullo, Max.

  Max Hullo.

  Curly I’m sorry to drag you out here in the middle of the night.

  Max That’s all right.

  Curly At barely ten minutes’ notice.

  Max That’s all right.

  Curly No, it’s not. You should be angry. (Pause.) You’re an innocent party. Act angry. (Pause.) Story is you murdered Sarah. We don’t believe that, do we, Max? We don’t think you’re the murdering type.

  Max flashes his flick-knife out.

  (quickly taking out his gun) Every man has his own gun. That’s not a metaphor. That’s a fact. Only some have more guns than others. Knife.

  Max hands his knife to Curly.

  I have a bottle in my pocket. Remove it.

  Max tenderly takes the bottle from Curly’s pocket.

  And put it down there.

  Max puts it on the ground.

  And stay down. (hard and fast) I think you took money, Max. That was your crime. It’s not the local custom, I have observed. In England they
don’t take money. They make money. Spot the difference. It’s a country of opportunity. Everyone can run a racket of their own. Say I discover some property developers have used unusual pressures to achieve their aims. I don’t go and ask for a share of their money. I go out and find a defenceless old cow of my own to swindle. That is the creative thing to do.

  Max I’d never taken money before.

  Curly I don’t care. Your back is snapped. From now till the millennium. They have your number. (Pause.) Have a drink.

  Max No, thank you.

  Curly Have a drink.

  Max takes a swig.

  I don’t think you have it in you to kill. But, Christ, you have it in you to wheedle. Have another drink.

  Max takes a swig.

  Sarah told you about the deal. You were to investigate. But you didn’t go to Malloy. You went to Patrick. For cash. I have one question. Why did Patrick consent?

  Max shrugs.

  Please don’t lie to me, Max. Have another drink.

  Max drinks again.

  Pretend you’re Malloy.

  Max drinks again.

  Why did Patrick give you the money?

  Max He …

  Curly Have another drink.

  Max drinks again.

  Why did Patrick bother? He should have kept his nerve. He had a perfectly plausible story …

  Max He …

  Curly Drink.

  Max drinks again.

  Have a cigarette.

  Curly throws down a cigarette and a box of matches. Max lights up.

  He could have said he never knew. Is that not what people say? In such circumstances.

  Max He …

  Curly Drink.

  Max drinks again.

  I understand he arranged the bridging loan for the building. He would barely have been implicated.

  Max There …

  Curly Drink.

  Max drinks again.

  It’s a half-baked sort of scandal that I can’t quite understand. That’s why I’m asking for your help. Have another cigarette.

  Max lights a second cigarette, then lights two for Curly. Curly sticks one in Max’s nose and one in Max’s right ear.

  Drink.

  Max drinks, coughs and splutters and drops the cigarettes.

  You’re just about ready to tell me the truth.

  Max They put a dog in …

  Curly Dog?

  Max Hart …

  Curly The spiritualist …

  Max Yes. Uses his dogs for other purposes …

  Curly The ones that talk to the dead?