“I love the Christmas Vacation movie as much as the next guy, but I’m not digging that tree up by its roots.” Josh teased.
“Do you have a pocket knife?”
“Of course.” He answered producing one from his jeans.
“Right there.” Kellany said, pointing to one of the lower branches. “That one will make a perfect little potted tree for us.”
Josh nodded and used his knife to cut it loose. They carried it home and Lola stood lookout while he ran upstairs with it, just in case Mrs. Appleby was opposed to them bringing in their own tree. Upstairs in their room they stood the tree in a coffee mug and decorated it with ornaments they’d bought at the carnival, as well as some items from around their room and most of Lola’s earrings and necklaces.
“I love it.” Lola said, as they put the Elf beside it along with the gifts they’d brought in from the Range Rover as well as some that had mysteriously accumulated since they’d arrived.
Later in bed, with all the lights off except the fire place and her rhinestone earrings sparkling against the tree, Chris pulled her closer to him and said. “You know I knew that night, after we decorated the tree together, I knew I’d never love anyone more than you in my whole life. Whatever else I ever had to figure out about growing up and becoming a man, I never questioned from that moment on that life with you is the only life that I’m supposed to have.”
“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you about the baby.” Lola blurted out as tears swam in her eyes again.
“It’s okay.” He said, wrapping his arms tightly around her.
“No, it’s not okay! We… don’t keep secrets. With everyone else in my life I always had to hide things… parts of myself so I didn’t get hurt, but you were the one person I always trusted with all my secrets. I shouldn’t have kept it from you. We don’t keep secrets from each other.” She gulped between sobs.
Chris was quiet for a long moment, waiting until her tears subsided before he said seriously, “Maybe we do. There’s something I’ve never told you.”
Lola took a deep breath and then nodded, and he began to speak. “Do you remember right after we got married, we had that stomach virus that almost killed us and then you didn’t get better for like three weeks so finally you took a pregnancy test and it turned blue?”
Lola nodded breathlessly as she listened to him describe the day that they found out that they were having Ethan.
“For twenty-four hours there was a baby coming. I was totally sure it was a boy. And then you saw a doctor the next day and it was a false positive and suddenly there was no more baby. I never told you… because you were nineteen and in nursing school, but I wanted that baby. I’ve always wondered what would have happened if we’d been pregnant. I’d already figured that I’d graduate from college before he was born and the bank was after me to go into management. We would have been okay.” He finished sadly.
“You wouldn’t have been a lawyer.” Lola said in a small voice. “It was your dream.”
“You were my dream. Us together raising a family was my dream… being a lawyer was just the best way to provide for that dream. Lola I could be the kind of father I didn’t have, the kind you didn’t have. That’s always been my dream.” He sighed. “I love our life. Like I said before, the only life I’ve ever been supposed to have is the life I have with you. But over the years I’ve wondered what it would have been like if we’d really been pregnant then. I’ve watched the dads with the little boys on their shoulders, or playing catch in the front yard and I’ve wished it was me. Is that pathetic? I have so many daddy issues that I want to be one? I don’t know and I don’t even care anymore. I want a baby with you.”
“I want a baby with you too.” Lola said, as she began crying again. “I wanted that baby with you!” She said picturing the look on Chris’s face when they’d laid Ethan in her arms for the first time, when they’d put together his tricycle beside the Christmas tree… laughing and whispering as they figured out how to turn the millions of tiny pieces into something they’d let their son ride. She remembered holding her breath as Chris waited under the diving board for him to jump into their neighborhood pool, and holding Chris’s hand as they let go of his big-boy bike and he took off on his own. They’d been head-over-heels in love with one another since the day they met, and they’d both been head-over-heels in love with Ethan from the moment they knew he was coming into the world. How could she have doubted for one moment that Chris would choose his family over any career move? What’s worse, how could she, the woman who loved him most in the world ever try to deny him that choice?
“I love you Christopher Ethan McCauley. I love everything about you, and everything about our life, but I would have loved that life too because I would love any life that I get to live with you! And I trust you with all my secrets and all my fears and all my choices forever.” She vowed, kissing him long and well before adding, “And if the roads are at all passable tomorrow I want to go home… I want to see my mama and tell her that I love her and I forgive her for every bad choice she ever made because at the end of the day I never doubted that she loved me, and every bad choice she made, made me who I am and who I am is who you love… so how could I be anything less than happy with that?”
Chapter 5
“Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?”… Clarence Oddbody
“Is the baby okay?” Lola asked as she hovered somewhere between consciousness and oblivion.
“Yes.” Chris answered solemnly. “She’s fine… fifteen weeks fine. How are you? What do you remember?”
“There was a gun. And a kid working there? Is he okay?” She asked, struggling to sit but held down by what she realized what an IV.
“He’s fine. After you fainted he got just the rush of adrenaline he needed to get out of the floor and hop to the phone. He called 911, they got you here and called your mom and she called us. You’ve been unconscious for about four hours.”
“Am I at UMMC?”
He nodded.
“And why have I been unconscious for so long?”
“They said you were dehydrated and severely anemic which caused your electrolytes to get out of balance. They’ve been giving you fluids and iron. Your color is coming back.”
“Is Ethan here?” She asked, feeling tears threaten for the first time.
“He’s with your mom.”
“I’ll get him.” A nurse she recognized vaguely said.
“Chris I know you’re mad at me and I know you have a million questions, but please just give me a minute to see Ethan and then I’ll tell you everything okay?”
“Mommy!”
“Oh! My beautiful boy.” She cried, hugging him tightly with her one free arm. “I’ve missed you so much! I never want to be away from you again!”
“It’s only been one day.” He argued, hugging her with all of his five-year-old might.
“It’s been way too long.”
“Baby girl, you took twenty years off of my life with this one.”
“I’m sorry mama. I love you though.” She said reaching for her mama’s hand.
“Lola, I’ll get in all kind of trouble if I get caught with all of them back here.” The nurse said apologetically.
“We’ll be outside in the waiting room.” Mama said, reaching for Ethan’s hand.
“Wait! I’ve got to tell mommy it snowed.”
“There was snow up at the mountain where you and daddy were?” She asked, as he pulled again his grandma, refusing to leave.
“No, it snowed here. Outside.”
“But it was so hot here.” She argued.
“It’s not hot now. It’s snowing!” He said excitedly.
Lola thought back to Snowy Pines and she smiled. “Of course it did. Now go with Grandma and I’ll see you in a little bit.”
When they were gone she reached for Chris’s hand. “One more thing and then I promise I’ll tell you e
verything, but what happened to my car… and my Michael Kors handbag you got me last Christmas and my IPhone?”
“As soon as the police got there and they got you to the hospital and found out who you were, the boy told them they’d stolen your car so they put out an ABP and caught them over in West Virginia. The car’s temporarily impounded for evidence, but we can get the rest of your stuff tomorrow at the police station when we pick up the accident report.”
“Okay.” She said, sighing and then realizing there was nowhere to go but on with the truth. “Chris the day I found the letter from the dean of admissions I also found out I was pregnant. I was upset that you hadn’t told me about applying and I was upset because I wasn’t planning another baby yet and I was upset that it was going to ruin your plans again… so I did the dumbest thing I could have ever done. When I started I just wanted enough time to clear my head, and figure out how to tell you but the longer it went on the worse it got and… and you have every right to hate me and never forgive me, but I realized… while I was unconscious I know it sounds crazy but I had this dream and I realized how wrong I was and how unfair. You are the best father in the whole world and how, how could I ever think you’d be better off doing anything than raising your babies and being with me. I’ve never once in my life doubted how much you love me and Ethan and I don’t know what came over me. But I’m so sorry and I love you so much and even though you shouldn’t forgive me, you have to forgive me because you’re the love of my life and the only life I ever want to live is whatever life I’m living with you and… did you say she?”
“I said she. They were doing a sonogram when I got here and it was up on the screen before they could keep me from seeing it. It’s a girl.”
“Please say you can forgive me.” Lola said in a small voice.
“I can forgive you.” He answered. She sat up as much as she could and pulled him to her, hugging him tightly. “I can forgive you and I will, but I’m still really, really mad at you right now! You didn’t tell me about a baby! You took Ethan and you left me! And you made me think it was because of something I’d done! You went traipsing out in the middle of the night into a strange gas station with my baby in-utero! I’m very upset with you!”
“Okay.” She said, refusing to let go him as she planted small kisses below his ear. “You have every right to be mad at me.”
“Hmmm… I’m getting less mad.” He said as she kissed his neck. “Less mad.” He said finding her lips with his. “God I’ve missed kissing you.”
***
“So I hear we’re having a girl?” Lola’s mama asked, stepping behind the curtain.
“We are. Ethan is over the moon.”
“And Chris?”
“He’s over the moon too. He’s mad at me, but we’ll get through it. We’ve loved each other almost as long as we’ve been alive. No one knows me like Chris so he knows why I did something stupid like this. He’ll forgive me. I’d forgive him.” She said truthfully. She wondered if she would ever stop feeling guilty for her mistakes, but she refused to let it rob of her of any more time with her family. Kellany said trips to Snowy Pines always included valuable lessons and if she’d learned anything it was that she wanted a life with her husband, and that their life could never be complete without their children.
“He’s a good one that Chris. You did good baby girl.” She said, reaching for her hand.
“I did.” Lola admitted. “I’m making him go on to law school though. I can work full time until she comes and go back full-time after my maternity leave. He can keep working part time at the bank. It’s not perfect, but Ethan was in day care and he was fine. Chris insists that law school isn’t that important to him, but I know how good he’d be at it and by the time Alison is three he’ll be out and hopefully our financial situation will improve greatly. I’ve decided the key to a good marriage – at least the key to our marriage is helping each other make our dreams come true. Making each other’s dreams ours. It’s a small sacrifice.”
“Sounds like you’ve got it all figured out.” Alice said, with eyes that looked suspiciously moist. “You know I’d really like to help. I didn’t get to as much with Ethan. You were younger and stubborn then. I can work my shifts at the nail salon around yours and maybe she won’t have to spend too much time in daycare. It’s better financially.”
“I agree with you.” Lola said, sitting up. “But no smoking.”
“Yes ma’am.” Alice said with a mock salute.
“So, I’m thinking that since we now know for sure that this baby’s a girl, I can tell you that I want to name her Alison.”
“As in Alice? After me?”
“You look so surprised. How many mothers do you think I have? You’re it for me and Chris. So yes, I’m naming her after you.”
She hugged her tightly. “Lola Catherine, I don’t deserve you and I do not deserve that.”
“Mama, I’m going to let you in on a secret that I’ve only just really figured out for myself. Being a mother is hard. Now, I will be the first person to say that you weren’t perfect… and things weren’t easy. But I’m not perfect either. And I never doubted that you loved me. And I never didn’t know how to love. That’s something. For a kid that’s everything. So yes, you deserve to have your granddaughter named after you.”
“Well that means everything to me. So when are you getting sprung from this joint?”
“Chris is at the police station filling out some papers and then he and Ethan are coming back for me. I wish you’d come home with us.”
“I’ll be there for Christmas day. You need to be with your family. Don’t you worry about me.” She said with a wink. “So does Alison have a middle name yet?”
“Yes, her middle name is Kelly.”
Alice gave her strange look and stepped back, “Kelly? Whatever made you think of that?”
“You don’t like it? I love the name Kelly. I always have. I think Allison Kelly is good. I like all the double L’s.”
“We’ve never talked a lot about your father.” Alice said, turning away from Lola as she spoke.
“You told me once that your divorce from your first husband was just final. You were 21 and your car broke down in Charlottesville. He picked you up and you ended up living with him for about six weeks until you found out you were pregnant and you waited till he was in the shower and took off with your car that he’d fixed and two-hundred dollars from his wallet. I think you hit all the pertinent details.”
“Romantic I know. He was bad news. You know, hot, good kisser and all the rest, but bad news. Trust me. We were better off without him and he came out way cheaper by me taking that money than taking him for child support. It was the best thing all the way around.”
“Why are you telling me this now?” Lola asked, reaching for her mama’s hand and urging her to face and sit down on the bed.
“Because his last name was Kelly.” Alice said with a shake of her head.
Lola felt the strangest sense of déjà vu as if she should have known this already. As if she did know it already.
“Does that bother you? Because I don’t have to use Kelly. I can…”
“No.” Alice said, shaking her head again and squeezing Lola’s hand. “Absolutely not. I kind of like it. There’s symmetry to it. I mean he wasn’t a good guy, but he was a fun guy. He fixed my car. And best of all he gave me you. I guess at the end of the day, your father might not have been a man that I wanted to be a part of your life, but you can bet my life would have been a complete failure if Seth Kelly had never come into it.”
A Trip Back to Snowy Pines (Book II in the Christmas Village Trilogy) Page 5
