by Barbara Goss
“I’m done!” Ben yelled at Cecilia. “You lied. Susannah isn’t taking me to court for rape. She's forgiven me.”
“I must have misunderstood, is all,” Cecilia said. “So, she isn’t suffering from the effects of our attack, which means we need to go to plan two.”
“There is no longer any ‘we,’” Ben said. “You have no intention of being intimate with me, either. I gave up my bed at the mission and I’m leaving St. Joseph to live with my brother.” Ben walked to the door. “I won’t do anything more to hurt Susannah. She hugged me! After what I tried to do to her, she hugged me!”
“Wait!” Cecilia cried, and then said softly, “I’ll sleep with you today if you agree to plan two. I think you’ll like this plan.”
“Tell me the plan first,” Ben said. “And I need a place to stay.”
“All right. As soon as you agree, I’ll do my part—today. I need to find another hotel room, since Carter knows I’m here. I’ll get a larger one and you can move in, but only if you help me. I can’t do plan two without you.”
After Cecilia had told Ben her plan she noticed indecision on his face. She put her arms around his neck and pressed as closely to him as she could get.
“I need you, Ben,” she said provocatively.
Ben found her lips and to her surprise, she didn’t have to fake her passion. His lips were warm, his kiss desperate, and Cecilia found that type of kiss stirred her more than Carter’s innocent ones ever had.
That evening when Carter came home, Susannah met him at the door, as usual, but hesitated to put her arms around his neck.
They stared at each other for several moments before Carter finally said, “Enough, Susannah. I can’t stay angry with you.” He put his arms around her and drew her close. “I love you and that’s all that matters. No matter what you do or what you’ve done it all boils down to one thing—I love you so much that I can overlook it all, even when it hurts.”
His words brought fresh tears to her eyes. “Oh, Carter. It’s because I love you that I hurt you without meaning to. Don’t you see?”
“I don’t, but let’s just forget it and try to get back the way we were,” he said.
“Sit down with me,” she said, leading him to the sofa.
He pulled her onto his lap. “No talking, just kiss me. I’m starving for your kisses.”
Susannah pulled back from him so she could see his face. “No, Carter. I need to explain. If we don’t settle this it will always be there to stand between us. I found it easy to forgive Ben, but I had a hard time forgiving you because what you think matters to me. I don’t care about Ben. I don’t really care one way or the other what he thinks of me or believes, but when you didn’t have faith in me it hurt because I love you so much. I need your trust, but I don’t need anything from Ben or anyone else.
"I admit I shouldn’t have hugged him, but he put his arms out and I just felt it was the right thing to do. If it helps, it was a loose, unfeeling hug, not the kind of embrace we share.”
“I think I understand. I was more jealous than anything,” he admitted. “Please, let's just drop the whole subject.”
Carter stood, scooped Susannah up, and took her upstairs. When they reached the top he kissed her passionately. “I need you so much, Susannah.”
“I need you as well,” she said, nestling her head along his neck.
“I've missed our intimate looks, our smiles, and our laughter. It looks like we’ve just weathered another storm,” he said.
He laid her down on the bed and began to undress, when she suddenly sat up.
“Are women who are increasing allowed to be intimate?” she asked.
“Increasing? Yes, I think they…wait!” he stopped short. “Are you telling me we’ve made a baby?”
“I’ve just missed by second monthly course, so there's a good chance we have.”
He sat down beside her and gently stoked her belly. “He or she might be in there already? Growing and nurturing?” Susannah swore she'd never forget the look of awe on Carter’s face.
“I don’t know if we should be intimate or not. I’ll have to ask Seth, but I think we can, if it’s done gently.”
“Nine months is a long time—”
“It’s okay, though, if we need to abstain, after all, it’s not what I need most. It’s the other things we share that I miss the most. The mutual looks, the smiles, and the enjoyment of each other’s company,” he said. “Let’s try not to have any more arguments or misunderstandings.”
“I agree, and I need a hug,” Susannah said.
Things went on as normal for Susannah and Carter, although Seth assured him their intimacy could continue until it became uncomfortable.
“Every marriage needs that intimacy to keep each other close and to realize each time that you are now as one,” Seth had said.
Susannah and Carter still met Seth, Meg and Nathan at church each Sunday, and then again, for dinner, at Meg and Seth’s.
Susannah thought the baby had brought her and Carter even closer than they had been, if that were possible.
Carter insisted she see a doctor and have her condition confirmed, which she did. He told them to expect a little Harding, sometime around the first of the year. They’d already begun to think up names.
After Cecilia went to the local bank and withdrew money from the account she shared with her mother, and she and Ben moved into a two-story cabin she purchased on the outskirts of town. The house was a bit run down, but they didn’t care. It was secluded, which meant no one would find them there. The cabin had one bedroom upstairs, one bedroom down stairs, a functional kitchen, and small sitting room. It was the perfect setting for the enactment of plan two.
Cecilia was surprised at what a tender lover Ben had proven to be, being "nice" to him wasn’t as difficult a chore as she thought it would be, and she found herself looking forward to their time together.
Plan two would take a lot of planning and Ben’s part was essential. She was finally going to pay Carter back for hurting her. She’d been obsessed with exacting revenge for years and she wasn't about to let it go, just because he’d gotten married.
She wanted to see him suffer.
Chapter 10
Penny scampered to the door to welcome Carter when he came in from his afternoon house calls. He bent down and lifted her up.
“Hello, Penny. Are you today’s welcoming committee?” he asked. The kitten blinked at him and began to purr.
Carter looked around but didn’t see Susannah. She was the one to usually meet him at the door. Although he was a few minutes later than usual because he stopped to deposit their weekly money in the bank.
“Susannah?” he called. When there was no answer he walked into the kitchen to find Effie putting on her coat.
“Your dinner's in the oven,” she said, “and dessert is on the counter.”
“Where’s Susannah?” he asked.
“She isn’t with you?”
“No. Didn’t she come home this afternoon?”
“She didn’t. I just assumed she’d gone on house calls with you.”
“I won’t panic,” Carter said, trying to keep himself calm. “She probably stopped to visit Meg. I’ll run over and see. You go home, Effie and thank you for everything.”
When Carter reached Meg and Seth’s and didn’t see her buggy, he began to panic, and he knocked frantically on Seth’s door.
“Hey, Carter,” Seth greeted. “C’mon in.”
“Is Susannah here? Has she been here?”
“No. We haven’t seen her,” Seth said.
“What’s wrong?” Meg said from behind him. “Is it Susannah?”
Carter ran his fingers through his hair. “She didn’t come home.”
“I’ll go to your house,” Meg said, pulling off her apron, and throwing it aside. “You pay a visit to Cecilia. Seth, you watch the children. Cecilia’s the only one who would do her any harm.”
“Good idea!” Carter and Seth said at once.
Carter mounted his horse and headed downtown, and Meg jumped into their buggy and headed in the opposite direction toward Susannah’s and Carter’s home.
As Carter galloped to the Homan Hotel, he prayed for Susannah’s safety, and in the same breath, swore that if Cecilia had done something to her, he’d strangle her with his bare hands. He hopped off his horse, tied it, bounded into the hotel, flew up the stairs to the same room where he’d found her the last time. After pounding fiercely at the door, a grizzly man finally opened the door, wearing nothing more than his long johns.
“What d’ya want?” he growled.
“I want to speak to Cecilia,” Carter said.
“Do I look like a Cecilia?”
“Is she in there?” Carter asked.
“I don’t even know her.”
“She was in this room last week,” Carter said.
“I just rented this room two days ago.”
“I’m so sorry. She must have moved. Forgive me, please.”
“Okay, but if you find her, it’s all right to send her over. I could use a spot of fun,” he said, and he slammed the door.
Carter stood outside the door and rubbed his forehead. He felt a headache coming on and he had a sick feeling in his stomach.
He rushed to the front desk and asked, “Do you know where Miss Hill went? She was in room 22.”
The clerk shrugged. “When people check out they don’t usually tell us where they’re going.”
Just about ready to have a panic attack, Carter ran out and jumped on his horse. He stopped at the clinic to see if there were any signs or notes left to give him a clue as to where she might be.
The clinic was spotless and there were no clues. All Carter could do was go home.
Meg tried to comfort Carter when he came home. She’d never seen him so upset, but she supposed he had reason to be. Susannah was still missing, and there was no trace of her buggy.
“Was Cecilia in?” she asked, handing him a hot cup of tea.
“No. She moved out and I have no idea where she'll be staying.”
“We could check on all the hotels,” Meg suggested.
“Will you come with me? I'll definitely need you if I find her for I’m afraid of what I might do to her.”
Just then Nathan burst into the house. “Seth said Susannah’s missing?” he gasped with breathlessness.
Meg filled him in on the details.
“I’ll go with you,” Nathan offered. “Meg, you go home to your children. If we have news we’ll stop by and tell you.”
“You’re out of breath‒did you run over?” Meg asked.
“No, but I pushed my horse pretty hard,” Nathan said. “I have to help. I’m fond of Susannah and pray nothing's happened to her. I’ll help in any way I can to bring her back.”
“All right,” Meg said. “You two try and find Cecilia, and I’ll go home and put the children to bed. Should I have Seth ride to the constable’s to report her missing?”
“Yes!” Carter said. “Definitely.”
As Nathan and Carter prepared to mount their horses, another horse limped up to his barn.
“That’s one of Susannah’s buggy horses!” Carter cried.
“Where’s the other one?” Nathan asked.
Carter felt like he might pass out. Why would only one of the horses return‒and with a limp? He walked over and examined the horse’s lame leg. “His leg is fine,” Carter said. Then he lifted the hoof and gasped. “Someone has hammered a nail into the center of his hoof.”
“Are you sure he didn’t just step on a nail?” Nathan asked.
“It’s highly unlikely that stepping on a nail would cause it to go all the way through like that. As soon as the horse felt the nail, he’d stop. At the very least, it would have most likely gone in on an angle. This nail is tightly hammered in and it’s straight through. Someone purposely made one of her horses lame. But why?”
Nathan shrugged.
Carter led the wounded horse to a stall. He patted the horse’s forelock and said, “I’ll fix you tomorrow, I promise.”
Carter and Nathan mounted and galloped to town to try to find Cecilia.
Having no luck finding Cecilia at any of the four hotels, the two brothers trotted slowly home. By the time they'd reached Carter’s house it was dark, as were their hopes.
“Thanks for the help, Nathan,” Carter said as he slid off his horse.
“Let me know if there's anything else I can do. In the meantime, I’ll question everyone I see in town. If something happened to Susannah in the middle of the afternoon, downtown, someone must have seen something,” Nathan said.
“Could you put a ‘closed’ sign on the clinic tomorrow morning? I can’t bear to open the clinic without Susannah.”
“Certainly.”
Carter handed Nathan the key to the clinic. “Thanks again, Nathan. Goodnight.” Carter walked his horse into the barn and Nathan rode home.
They’d tried every hotel in St. Joseph and he’d asked each clerk to check for names similar to Cecilia or Hillman, but they all came up with nothing. In fact, they all told him there were no rooms that had been rented to a lone woman. So that closed that investigation. Where did that leave them?
In bed that night, Carter cried. He hadn’t cried since he was six or seven and had fallen from his horse. He felt empty and sick. Where was she now? And she was carrying their child! He stood to lose not one, but two loved ones. He spent the night alternating between crying and praying.
Chapter 11
Carter filled Effie in on Susannah’s disappearance while she served his breakfast.
“Oh, that’s awful. You two didn’t have a spat or anything?” she asked.
He shook his head. “No, we are very much in love and nothing could come between us, except for one evil person.”
“Who?”
“A spiteful woman named Cecilia, who I once courted for a short time, before I abandoned her for her sister, Hope. When Hope died, Cecilia thought I would come back to her. In the meantime, Cecilia had grown more like her mother‒sinister and mean. I hated the way they treated Hope. That’s what attracted me to Hope in the first place; I guess I felt sorry for her.”
“So, this…Cecilia, would she take her vengeance out on poor Susannah who has done nothing? It doesn’t make sense,” Effie said as she poured him more coffee.
“The only thing I can figure is that maybe she thinks if Susannah’s out of the picture…good grief!” Carter nearly choked on his coffee. “If Susannah dies, I won't be married anymore. I pray to God that that isn’t her plan. As if I’d ever want to even be in the same room with her! I think she might be crazy.”
“Speaking as a woman, Carter, maybe she wants you to feel what it’s like to be lonely…or to be without the one you love, as she was when you jilted her. She might want revenge on your feelings.”
Carter looked up at her. “You may be right. Of course‒she wants me to feel what it’s like to lose someone.” Carter pushed himself away from the table. He couldn't eat a thing, but he did drink his coffee. “Please, Effie, pray for Susannah. Pray like you’ve never prayed before. She’s with child.
“I’m going to see our minister and ask for the whole church’s prayers, and then I’m going to talk to the constable.”
He turned to her before leaving the room. “Thank you for speaking as a woman, Effie. I think you may be right.”
After Carter had spoken to the minister and the constable, he felt helpless. What more could he do? He rode home, sat in the sitting room, and prayed for the rest of the day. Just before sundown, Nathan burst in, breathless, again.
“I have something!” he said as he entered the sitting room.
Carter stood. “You do? What? Tell me.”
“Old Jake McGee saw a strange man hanging around the clinic and Susannah’s buggy, yesterday.”
“Nathan, Jake’s the town drunk. Can we believe anything he says?”
“I do. He was on his way
to the saloon at the time so he was still sober.”
“Did he describe the man?”
“He just said he had dark hair, wore a red and black flannel shirt, and didn’t have facial hair.”
“That’s it?”
“Yep. What man would want to hurt Susannah?” Nathan asked.
“None that I know of. Unless Cecilia has paid someone to do something to her.”
“So you still think Cecilia is involved?” Nathan asked.
“Yes, I do.”
“So,” Nathan said excitedly, “if she has this man working with her, maybe he's also sharing her hotel room, which would be why the hotel clerks all claimed there were no lone women in their hotel rooms.”
“True enough, but without a name or a better description, we can’t do much with that information.”
Nathan fingered his chin. I can ask more people if they saw this man in the red and black-checkered shirt. Someone else may have a better description, or even know who he is.”
“Wait! You didn’t say checkered before,” Carter said.
“I didn’t? Well, it was.”
“Ben Carter had a shirt on like that. He came to visit Susannah one day last week,” Carter said. “Maybe Cecilia has nothing to do with this at all. Ben always said he wanted to marry Susannah. He must've taken her, I’m almost sure of it!”
“Let’s go back to the hotels and check for him,” Nathan said, but Carter was already half way out of the front door.
Susannah didn’t know where Ben had taken her because he’d placed a sack over her head. She’d felt him going up a flight of stairs and then placed onto a bed with an old worn out mattress and then, door to the room was locked.
Ben! She’d trusted him. Why would he do this? He hadn’t said much to her the whole time. She’d come out of the clinic and climbed into her buggy, but one of her horses was limping and refused to move. She didn’t know what to do, but then she felt fortunate because Ben had come along and offered to help. He freed the injured horse, put his own horse in its place, and said he’d drive her home so he could collect his horse after he let her off.
