Up the Devil's Belly

by Rhett DeVane

  Elvina Houston and Jake Witherspoon were the only members of the gathering who weren’t blood ties. Evelyn and Joe, Bobby and Leigh, and Holston and I represented the extended Davis/Longman lineage.

  Hank Henderson walked briskly into the room. “Sorry for the delay, folks.” His brisk manner and slight smirk belied the fact that he was here in an official capacity to dispense with our family matters as quickly as possible.

  “I’m providing a copy of Mrs. Longman’s will for each of you, so there’s less chance of confusion,” he said as he dealt stacks of stapled papers around the table.

  “I usually read the will. However, Mrs. Longman wished to have you view a statement my secretary taped in my office at the time the written document was finalized.” He paused. “This was recorded about two weeks ago.”

  Hank opened the doors of the oak armoire, revealing a 32-inch television monitor. “Can I get anything for anyone before I start the tape?”

  Everyone shook their heads and sat forward slightly in anticipation.

  He jabbed the power button. “All right then, here goes.”

  Aunt Piddie’s face popped onto the screen. Evelyn gasped.

  “Am I on?” Piddie asked the off-camera video operator. “I feel like Marilyn Mon-row up on the big screen!” She laughed heartily.

  “Whew! Okay…down to business now. I thought this might be a more personable way to let you all know how I’ve set things up in my will…and, how I came about my decisions so there won’t be any stepped-on feelin’s. This won’t take too long. I ain’t got that much to divvy up.

  “First of all, to my life-long friend, Elvina Houston. I’m leavin’ you my position of employment at the Triple C. Now, I know that sounds kinda weird, like maybe it ain’t mine to give, but Elvina, you’re the logical one to replace me there. You know ever’body and ever’thing what goes on, and it’ll be a smooth transition…almost like I wasn’t gone a’tall!”

  Piddie leaned forward. “I done spoke to Jake and Mandy and the rest of them ’bout it…off and on. They shrugged it off ’cause they reckoned I’d never die. That dee-nial, it’s a wonderful thing, ain’t it?” She waved her hand through the air.

  “Elvina, I’m leavin’ you my favorite old gold watch that Carlton give me for our fortieth weddin’ anniversary. Evelyn, you’ll make sure Elvina gets it, won’t you? Now, Elvina, I know how you don’t hold no stock in wearin’ a time piece…but, you gonna have to have one now, with workin’ and all. Besides, you can think of me when you look at it!”

  Elvina smiled slightly. Naturally, she was the logical choice to take over the front desk duties at the spa. She’d be right there, keeping her fingers on the pulse of the community.

  “Also, I’m leavin’ you my recipe box. It’s got all my favorites in it, along with little notes on where they came from. Now, Evelyn, honey, don’t go getting all pouty-lipped over this. Elvina is as much a cook as I am. Half the recipes I stole from her anyways.”

  Elvina and Evelyn exchanged glances.

  “Alrighty, then,” Piddie continued. “Jake, I’m leavin’ you my little house on Morgan Avenue.”

  Jake’s jaw dropped open.

  “Shut your mouth, now. You’ll draw flies, son.” Piddie said.

  Jake smiled sheepishly and cleared his throat.

  “The reason for this, all of you…you all got houses of your own. You’d just end up sellin’ it or lettin’ it sit and get run down. A house needs to be loved and tended to — just like a person does. That’s why Jake is perfect for the job. I hope you love it, Jake, like I did. That little house was my haven of peace for many years after Carlton passed. The yard needs some work. I don’t reckon those old azaleas have been cut back in two, maybe three, years. You have my little frame house with my blessin’, son.”

  Jake sat quietly — one of the few times he lacked for words.

  “Hattie? Bobby? I’ve given the bank directions on settin’ up schoolin’ funds for your babies. It ain’t a bunch of money, but it’ll help out some. Those younguns been a blessin’ to me in my old age. Go see Miz Josie up on the teller line, and she’ll give you the details. I’m mighty happy both of you kids have settled down and are gonna live on the Davis homestead. Your Mama and Daddy would be proud of that.”

  Bobby and I exchanged glances.

  “Now…as to you, Evelyn, and you, Joe…you get the rest to do what you see fit. What money there is, I’d really like to see two things done with it. First, make sure Karen and Byron and the two great grandyounguns get a share. Then, and I mean this thing with all my heart, I want y’all to take a chunk of it and take that cruise you been promisin’ each other you’d go on one day. You postponed it on account of my failin’ health, and I thank you for thinkin’ of my needs over your own, but I can’t rest ’till I know you’re off on some tropical island dancin’ under the moon. Evelyn, make you a pretty new ball gown, and y’all go kick up your heels, you hear? And, the rings and bracelets you and Joe’s give me over the years, turn them in for the money, too. Only one I want you to keep is the band your daddy give to me. Rest of them needs to be turned back into cash for you to use how you see fit.”

  Piddie took a deep breath. Her energy was obviously waning.

  “I don’t know if Evelyn’s told you all yet, knowin’ how she forgets stuff when she’s all overcome — I know she hasn’t give it another thought if she’s found them. I made some tape recordin’s — one for each of you. They’re in my bedroom in the bedside stand. They’re a bit more personal than what’s on this here video. Evelyn, will you make sure they get to who I’ve intended them for?”

  Evelyn nodded.

  Piddie paused. Her cornflower blue eyes watered. “I love all of you. And, I’m takin’ that love with me. The best way you can honor me, if that’s what you’ve a mind to do, is to go on about your lives in the here and now. We’ll all be together in the by and by. I know it! In the meantime, carry on like I was right there proddin’ you on.”

  Piddie pursed her lips and blew a kiss to the camera. The screen went blank.

  Hank hopped up, pushed the stop button on the video recorder, and handed the ejected tape over to Evelyn. “Any questions on the legal details, you know where to find me,” he said as he turned to leave the conference room.

  Evelyn stood and put her hands on her hips. “Well!” She snorted. “I’m sure glad Mama recorded her last wishes and we didn’t have to hear them outta the likes of him!”

  Hank slammed his hand down on the reception desk, sending a stack of pink-slip memos fluttering on to the carpet. “Cancel my appointments for the rest of the day and tomorrow!’“ he barked. “I’m leavin’ for the coast for a few days.”

  “But sir, I think,” his secretary said.

  Hank glared at Maxie. “I didn’t hire you to think! Just do as I say!” He snatched his briefcase into his left hand and pushed through the front door.

  The Mercedes responded to his anger-driven acceleration, flinging flecks of loose gravel in its wake.

  “Anything could be on those tapes,” he muttered as he blew through the stop sign at the end of Franklin Street. “That’s all I need — a whole got-damned family of meddling cretins watching every move I make!”

  “Elvina has a sayin’—no act of kindness goes unnoticed. Well, I’m here to tell you that no act of meanness goes unnoticed, neither! Not if I get any say in it!”

  Piddie Davis Longman

  Chapter Twenty

  Hattie

  In the fifteen minutes it took to drive three miles from the Hill into town, stop at the post office, and make a bank deposit, Sarah fell sound asleep in the car seat. When I parked Betty in the shade by the Triple C, her dark brown eyes popped open and she waved her stubby arms gleefully.

  “Hey, kiddo.” I cooed as I lifted her from the seat. “I will love it to death if you’re half as happy as a teenager as you are now.”

  “Goo-gah?” she said loudly.

  My heart sank. “Yeah, honey. We’re goi
ng to where Goo-gah used to work.” I sighed deeply to dispel the grief bubble lodged in my throat.

  Holston pushed back from his computer armoire when we entered the private study. “There’re my two girls!” He grinned. “Mandy able to fit you in for an estimate this morning?”

  “Very funny.” I propped my free hand on my hip. “Maybe you and Jake should start a stand-up routine. You could share jokes about me and my vastly amusing hair.”

  He spread his arms. “C’mon, honey. I’d still love you if you shaved your head bald and painted it bright blue.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Good answer. You just saved yourself from being cut off for a week.”

  His dark eyes twinkled. “As Piddie used to say…my mama didn’t raise no fool.”

  I motioned toward the hair salon. “Is the entire gang here today?”

  “All except Melody and Evelyn. Melody’s taking the day off, and Evelyn’s gone to Tallahassee to pick up some material for some creation she’s designing for Christmas. She explained it all to me in great, exhausting detail. I’m afraid I wasn’t paying close attention.” Holston cocked his head to one side. “She seems to use me to bounce ideas off, now that her mother’s not around.”

  I handed our daughter over. “Just nod a lot. You’ll get by. I’ll be in the hair salon if Sarah’s any trouble.”

  Holston settled Sarah into the kiddie corral beside his desk. “She’ll be all right. Go get yourself all prettied up. Oh, remember…I’ll be leaving here around three this afternoon. I’m having dinner with Sam Rosenthal from Magnolia Printing Company.”

  I shook my head. “I’ll bum dinner off Jake and Jon. Does this mean that Sam’s company got the contract?”

  “They’re putting in a bid on the second printing of Jake’s abduction story. I don’t have a lot of pull as to where the contract lands, but I’d sure like to see Sam’s company get it.”

  “Yeah, keep it local. That would be good.” I kissed him on the cheek. “Maybe if I get a new hairstyle, I’ll feel a little more…you know…”

  Holston brushed my chin. “It’s okay to be sad, Hattie. No one’s really all peppy right now. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

  Elvina waved as I passed the reception desk. “Mornin’, Hattie! Mandy’s all ready for you. Just go on back.”

  How strange to see Elvina Houston perched behind the antique mahogany desk, officious and self-important.

  Mandy and Wanda were huddled over the latest hairdo magazine when I walked into the salon. “Hattie!” Mandy waved me over. “Wanda’s found the perfect new style for you.” She patted the seat of her stylist chair. “Sit yourself down, hon.”

  Mandy smoothed the Velcro strip of the plastic drape into place and began to pick at my hair. “Looks like you been trimmin’ it up yourself again, hmm?”

  “It started to drive me nuts.”

  Mandy propped her hands on her hips in mock disgust. “I’m gonna break down and buy you a pair of sheers for Christmas, Hattie Lewis. I suwanee, looks like you been using a hedge trimmer on this head of hair.”

  I shrugged. “That’s why I’m here.”

  Wanda sat on her stylist chair and swiveled to face us. “I think it’s great when folks cut their own hair. Makes me look that much more like a magician when I save the day. Besides, Mandy, you have to admit…Hattie’s not near as bad as the last time Ladonna O’Donnell picked up a pair of scissors.”

  “Lordy-be! Don’t you know it! Took me three months to straighten out that mess. Said she was tryin’ to layer it in the back. Ended up lookin’ like she’d had a spittin’ match with a Weedeater!”

  Wanda and I laughed.

  Mandy assumed her professional voice. “Now, hon, here’s what I had in mind. Shorter on the sides…a few fringe bangs around your face. Then, we’ll make it a little longer in the back with the lower layer doin’ that little up-flip that’s so popular right now. Like that girl on the Mornin’ Show on channel six…what’s her name?”

  “Carmelita Cullens,” Elvina said. She plopped down on one of the director’s chairs and rested the portable phone headset on her lap. “That’ll look good on you, Hattie. With your heart-shaped face, and all.”

  “Listen to you, Elvina. Not here two weeks and already you’re talkin’ the talk.” Mandy grinned.

  Elvina smiled sweetly and batted her eyelashes. “I’m just doin’ the best I can…workin’ with what I got.”

  “Let’s get you shampooed.” Mandy leaned the seat back and positioned my head over the wash basin. The tension eased as the warm water coursed through my hair. Mandy’s expert hands gently massaged my scalp as she worked the hair into a frothy lather.

  “Don’t this smell nice? It’s sun-kissed pear. I could snuffle it all livelong day and not get tired of it.”

  “I prefer the island mist one,” Wanda said. “Reminds me of suntan lotion smell.”

  The seat back popped into the upright position. Mandy used a fluffy towel to remove the excess moisture, then began to gently tease the tangles into submission with a large-toothed comb. “Your hair is fine, fine, fine,” she said. “Oh, My Gawd! I don’t bee-lieve it!”

  I studied her shocked expression in the mirror. “What?”

  “Look-y here! Hattie Davis Lewis finally has a gray hair! I found one!”

  “There are several, thank you. I am over forty, after all.”

  “Just you wait till you find gray in your short hairs like I got,” Elvina said. “That’s when you know age is creepin’ up on you.”

  Mandy grimaced. “That’s way more information than I need, Elvina.”

  Elvina huffed. “I gotta toughen you girls up some.” The phone in her lap trilled. She hopped up and headed toward the appointment books on the reception desk chattering cheerfully into the headset.

  “Evelyn told us the work was comin’ right along on the farmhouse,” Mandy said. “You pretty close to finishin’ up?”

  I nodded slightly. “It’s been amazing. I know folks over in Tallahassee who have taken over a year to build a room. I guess it must be easier getting the permits over here in Gadsden County. Bobby’s had crews of builders out there practically around the clock. The house is almost ready to move back into. That’s where I was earlier this morning. I left Jake and Jon hanging the window treatments in the kitchen. The new appliances are due to be delivered in a couple of days.”

  “I know you’ll be glad to be back home…not that any of us have minded y’all campin’ out here for a while,” Mandy said.

  “How about Bobby and Leigh’s log cabin?” Wanda asked.

  “They’re pouring the foundation this week. Ran into a hitch on one side, though. Something about finding pipe clay.”

  “I know all about pipe clay,” Mandy said. “When I built my little house, they found a patch of it. Cost a few hundred dollars extra to sink a support thing-y on one side. Didn’t make much sense to me, but the workers told me that kinda dirt won’t hold up to the weight of a house.” She held a hank of hair above my head and lopped it off. “We’ll have to throw a kitchen and log cabin warmin’ when y’all get all settled in out there on the Hill.”

  “That’s one thing I’ve noticed about this group. Never at a loss for a reason to celebrate,” Wanda said.

  I asked, “How’re things working out with Elvina at the front desk?”

  “Well…” Mandy sighed. “Elvina’s at a bit of a disadvantage, I suppose, heaven knows, fillin’ Piddie’s shoes, but she’s actually doing pretty fair. There have been a few minor glitches.” Mandy measured a section of hair and briskly snipped.

  Wanda laughed. “The funniest was when she put Angelina Palazzolo down on Stephanie’s column for a full body exfoliation. She was supposed to be on Mandy’s book for a cut and set.”

  Mandy nodded. “We didn’t discover the mistake till five minutes before she was due to walk in. By that time, I was already booked with another client. Piddie would’ve called it an O.S. Moment.”

  Having an O.S. moment had be
en my aunt’s delicate way of saying oh shit. I smiled as I dabbed at a trickle of water that had dripped down my right temple. “What’d you do?”

  “Elvina didn’t even miss a beat,” Mandy said. “When Angelina walked in, Elvina took her by the hand and told her she’d planned a little surprise for her. Told her she’d been worried about her looking so stressed here lately…and how she’d arranged to pay for a full body skin treatment with Stephanie, then she could have her hair done right after. I know you’d never do this for yourself, Angie, she told her, so I’m treating you — as a gift!”

  Mandy stopped to compare the two sides of my hair to assure herself they were even. “Angelina was so surprised and pleased, she had the body treatment, then paid to have her hair done afterwards in the spot Elvina found for her on my book. Angelina walked out of here lookin’ like she’d just found religion!”

  Wanda slapped her hands on her thighs. “She said her skin felt smoother than a newborn baby’s behind. That it was the best thing ever. And, she scheduled next week with Steph for a full hour massage!”

  Elvina hustled into the salon. “Wanda, that was Hank Henderson’s secretary, Maxine. He’s stoppin’ in for a trim at one before some meeting he has to attend.”

  Wanda rolled her eyes. “A person should be so lucky.”

  “That reminds me,” Elvina said. “Hattie, have you listened to the tape Piddie made you, yet?”

  “No.”

  “Evelyn brought the one Piddie made for all of us here, yesterday, but we haven’t had a chance to listen to ours, either,” Mandy said.

  Elvina leaned forward. Her eyes narrowed. “Piddie had a stern warnin’ on mine about that Hank Henderson.”

  “That right?” Wanda asked. “You better fill me in…since I’m the only one here who has to touch the man.”

  Elvina settled into a director’s chair. “Piddie wasn’t one to cuss much, mind you. If you got her good and riled up, she could heck and dern you up one side and down the other. She said three cuss words when she was talkin’ ’bout Mr. Hank Henderson.” Elvina shook her head. “She didn’t say anything real specific — just that we should all keep an eye pealed in his direction. Piddie said she felt like he was up to no good.”