Hold Your Breath 01 - Stone Devil Duke

by K. J. Jackson

  “Naked?”

  “Yes.”

  “No. You need nourishment for my next ravaging of you. Plus, I am looking forward to finally dining with you at an actual table, as charming as eating in my bedroom has been. Not to mention you will need lots of energy for when we start our grounds tour tomorrow, per your request.”

  Aggie sat up. “Fine. But let us dress and eat in haste.” Her hand slipped across the ridges along his stomach. “I want you back up here, just like this, as quickly as possible.”

  “That, I can arrange.” Devin smiled, grabbing her hand and bringing it to his lips. “I am not about to deny your salaciousness, my dear Aggs.”

  ~~~

  In the darkness, the rain came. And it came with thunder and lightning. It only took a few short minutes for Devin to wake up and leave the bed.

  In the library, facing the west window, he had only made it a fourth of the way down the decanter of brandy before he heard soft footsteps padding into the room, the rustle echoing in the cavernous space.

  Devin closed his eyes. He hadn’t heard her scream. Or had he?

  “Did I say something?” Aggie’s raspy voice came gently into the room. “Devin, I do not know what I do in my sleep. I know I yell. I cannot control it. If I said something to drive you away, I am sorry. I do not want to bother you, I just came in here…”

  “Why? Why did you find me?”

  He hadn’t looked up at her, and almost thought he scared her off. But then she stepped close to him, her chemise brushing his elbow that rested on the arm of the leather chair.

  “Sleep with me. Please.”

  “What?”

  “I was sleeping peacefully, but it…changed. And I woke up and you were gone. I sleep. When you are with me, I sleep. Real sleep. It is amazing. No dreams. No nightmares. Please.”

  Her hand went to his bare shoulder, her fingers cool on his skin. Devin stared at the glass in his hand, trying to ignore the rain pelting the window in front of him. She really did trust him to keep her safe. Too bad he wasn’t worthy of her trust.

  Her hand stayed still on him.

  No force to ignore her patience, he looked up at her. The one lantern he had lit by the door flickered dim behind her, setting her loose blond hair to ethereal glow.

  “On one condition.”

  “What?”

  “You tell me what makes you scream in your sleep.”

  Her hand jerked off of his skin and she stumbled backward, bending at the waist as though he punched her.

  It was a power move he wasn’t going to apologize for. He needed to know. And if he had to blackmail her into telling, he would.

  Aggie continued her backward shuffle, holding her stomach, shaking her head. “No. I…it is not worth it. I will leave you alone.”

  Devin shot up, reaching her in two strides and grabbing her wrist, stopping her escape. “You need to tell me, Aggie. Whatever you bear in your sleep, you should not have to do it alone.”

  “No.”

  She looked up at him, and the pain in her eyes jolted him. Pain that weighed her soul. Kept her in fear. It burned Devin’s determination that she tell him even brighter.

  “Aggie, whatever it is. It is time to tell me. I need to know what dreams I am fighting.”

  He pulled on her wrist, and surprisingly, her feet moved. He led her back to the chair he was sitting in, and nudged her downward. He went to his knees in front of her, hands on her thighs.

  He forced his voice soft as he rubbed her legs. “Tell me.”

  She didn’t meet his gaze, and her right hand went to the scar running up her left arm. Devin saw the motion, and his gut hardened.

  Of course.

  She had never hidden the scar, but she had always hidden how she got the scar.

  “Tell me.”

  “Six months ago…” Her voice caught, and she cleared her throat. “Six months ago, I had gone into town to meet with our solicitor. He is old, so I did not want him to have to make the trip to Clapinshire.” Her head stayed down, eyes closed, but her voice held solid. “It took longer than I would have liked, and when we were done, it was dusk when I stepped into the street. My driver had moved my carriage about a block away; the street is narrow there, so that was normal. But my driver was also facing away from me, so he had no chance to see what happened.”

  Her palm flattened on her scar, and she started to run it up and down the length of her forearm. “They grabbed me, the two of them. It was the leader and that first one I killed in London. They jerked me off the street and dragged me down an alley. Hands over my mouth. My eyes. They pulled me into a building, a room. It was dark and empty. Dirt floor. The last light of day shining through slivers in the wall. One of them shoved a rag into my mouth—wretched filth—filling it, and they pushed me against the wall.”

  Her head tilted up slightly, but her eyes stayed closed. “I tried. I tried so hard to get free. And then the one I killed pulled me off the wall and slammed me back into it. Punched me. It crushed my air and I could not breathe, and the rag was deep in my throat, choking me. He held me, shoved onto the wall, and when I looked up, the leader was coming at me with a scalpel.”

  “Aggs—”

  She shook her head, holding her hand up to stop him. Devin closed his mouth.

  “He grabbed my wrist, pulling it straight up over my head, pinning it to the wall, and then he yanked up. My toes could not touch the ground, so I dangled. He pressed the scalpel into my skin at the wrist, slicing deep until he hit bone. No air, I could not even scream. He twisted the blade in me and then asked me—and it was such a polite asking, like he was not even carving my skin—where the paper was. All I could do was shake my head. I still don’t know what he was talking about. So he twisted the blade and ripped it further down my skin.”

  Her hand on the scar rubbed faster, like she was trying to remove pain that had just resurfaced. “Then he asked me again. I had no answer. He sliced down. Further and slower. Twisting. He asked. No answer. And further down with the blade. By the time the scalpel got to my elbow, I could not even hear him. All I could hear was the pain in my head. Feel the blood that had flowed through my dress to pool along my neck. But then he started yelling. At me, and then he was yelling at the other man. He dropped my arm, and my feet hit ground, and that was when I kneed the other man in the crotch. He crumpled, and it gave me just enough time. I ran. I got out. I do not know how I did it. I got out the door and to the street.”

  Tears were dropping fully onto Devin’s hands on her thighs, but Aggie’s eyes remained closed. “That was when I understood the depth of the trouble I was in. And I had to somehow get out of it, even if I understood none of it. That is how I know exactly what he looks like. And that was when the dreams started. Scalpels deep in my body. My father murdered time and again in front of me. That is why I wake up screaming.”

  Devin forced the rage in his chest to stay there. That they had done this to her. When he found the leader he was going to rip him limb from limb.

  God. What he had done to her.

  The hell he himself had put her through—he had set Christianson on her with a scalpel, and she had to watch it. It made him sick what he had made her suffer. And for what? His own damn irrational fear?

  Devin moved one of his hands behind Aggie’s head, gripping her tightly. “Aggs, I am so sorry about Doctor Christianson. I did not know. I would have knocked you out myself had I known.”

  She tilted her head further up, opening her eyes at him. “It was not your fault. You did not know what I went through.”

  “I should have by your screaming.” Both of his hands went to her cheeks, wiping away the wetness. Then his fingers moved down to her left arm. Her right hand tightened over the scar, so Devin gently wedged his fingers under her palm. Her right hand fell limply into her lap.

  He lifted her arm, silent as his thumb followed the raised line, slowly from wrist to elbow, taking in every curve, every bump of the past. He brought the start of the
scar on her wrist to his lips for the softest kiss as he looked at her. “I cannot take away the past, Aggs. But God help me, as long as I am with you, I will do everything in my power to banish those dreams.”

  Aggie rubbed her eyes with the base of her palm. “I do not want to have to depend on you for this. I do not want to burden you. I should be able to control myself. It is just that I have not been this well-rested since my father was killed. It is like I can breathe again. Walk around normally without fighting the cloud in my brain.”

  “So then you let me continue to help. Accepting me does not make you weak.”

  She nodded, eyes half-shuttered.

  “You do realize this could have made all the difference in trying to find the leader earlier. That they are after something they think you have. Why didn’t you tell me this?”

  “I am sorry. It is too hard. What he did to me. I am damaged.” Her voice cracked. “And I never wanted you to see me damaged.”

  She closed her eyes and took a quivering breath. Steadied, she opened her eyes to Devin, voice again in control. “So I cannot think of it. Not when I have to keep moving. And I don’t know what he wants. What he thinks I have. If I let my mind go there, to what happened, I become nothing. And I cannot protect anyone if I am nothing.”

  Devin set her arm gently in her lap and cradled her chin. “You understand it is all of you I want, Aggs. All of you, whatever scars may be.”

  Aggie closed her eyes, exhaling held breath.

  His hands went to either side of her face. “Good. Then we will never talk of it again.”

  { Chapter 16 }

  “Devin, where—” Aggie grunted from hitting her sidesaddle hard as her horse flew over a stump. “Where are we going?”

  Her tongue smacked at the dust she had just sucked in, trying to get the earthy taste out of her mouth. Umph. Another hard jolt. This was ridiculous. “Devin—where?”

  Devin looked back and flashed a smile, just as he had done repeatedly over the past hour. She knew he did it to make sure she was keeping up. So smug. She glowered at his back. Him riding high on his enormous black stallion, while she had to hang back in his dust trail because her mare was too skittish around his mount.

  He had been irritatingly ambiguous all morning long about their destination. He told her they were to see more of the grounds. That was it. He had even woken her up early and had lunch packed and the horses readied by the time she had completed her morning ablutions.

  “Devin.” She tried to elevate her voice to a pitch he couldn’t ignore. “When are we going to get there?”

  The ass. He didn’t even turn around. Aggie gritted her teeth. Save for this morning, the last several weeks had been heaven. Her shoulder was healing quickly, and Devin near-doted on her, spending the days showing her about the extensive grounds of Stonewell.

  But she still reckoned with the mystery of his childhood. For all the time he spent on the tales of his ancestral home, he continued to be evasive about his childhood. Irksome, for it was a clear reneging on the deal they had made on the trip to Stonewell.

  “Damn.” Aggie muttered as her left hand slipped on the reins. Her legs clamped hard to the pommels as she tightened her grip with her right hand, easing her left hand back up the leather. Her shoulder wound still made her left arm weak, especially noticeable on this strenuous ride through the northern woods of the estate.

  Nice one-month anniversary. Devin probably didn’t even realize it had been one month since they were married. To celebrate, she got stuck tasting his trail dirt and being ignored.

  Deep into the thick woods, he pulled up on his stallion, stopping in the middle of the main trail, and turned his horse back to her. Aggie looked around as her horse slowed, confused, until she noticed an almost imperceivable path turning off to the right. Her curiosity tripled.

  “Devin, for the last time, tell me where we are going.”

  He laughed. “Careful, my duchess, you are beginning to play the role of the nagging wife.”

  “Purely a reaction to your unbearable dismissiveness.” She smiled sweetly at him.

  His smile didn’t waver, and he pointed at the nonexistent trail. “We veer here, and the path is complicated by twists and turns. I am not sure what condition it is in further on, so you will need to stay close to me.”

  “You know very well my horse is not keen on getting close to your beast,” Aggie said at his back, but master and horse were already widening the absent path as they dove into the woods.

  It took another hour before Devin stopped in a small clearing, and Aggie was grateful. Again and again she almost lost Devin and the trail around a sharp curve, or veered off into an opening that looked like it should be a path, but wasn’t. It was a good thing his horse’s noise matched its size.

  Devin’s feet hit the forest floor. “We are here—I was not sure I could find it as easily as that.”

  Aggie took his hand to dismount. “That was easy?”

  She looked down at her riding outfit as she slid off her horse, a beautiful concoction of multiple blues layered over each other, with a fine cut train and a sleek line that pushed up and accentuated her breasts in the best possible fashion. It was now a disaster. The overgrown forest had shredded the delicate fabric, and her skin ached with the multiple scratches.

  “And where is here?” Aggie scanned the tall trees surrounding them, and then her eyes settled on Devin.

  Enthusiasm poured from him, and Aggie’s annoyance evaporated. Wherever they were, Devin’s grin indicated it was important. Aggie looked around once more, seeing only shrubbery and trees.

  “Ready?” He grabbed her hand, leading her around the horses.

  “Maybe?” Aggie nodded her head quizzically. Her husband seemed to be nearing insanity.

  “Bend down.” At a wall of shrubbery, Devin stepped in front of her and leaned forward, thrusting his hands deep into the branches. Arms disappearing into the twigs, he grunted as he fought the greenery, parting it. A small opening appeared.

  “Go on, go through,” Devin said.

  Aggie leaned down and peeked through the opening. She turned to look at him, her nose almost touching his.

  “Just go. Your outfit is already ruined.” Devin laughed. “Trust me.”

  Her eyes lowered to his still-bright smile, and Aggie swallowed a sigh and went to her knees, crawling through the small hole he had made.

  Awe hit her the second her head popped out the other side of the hole. Through the bushes, Aggie stood up with mouth agape, dumbstruck.

  What surrounded her could only be described as perfection. The thick shrubbery she crawled through stood more than a story tall, in a complete, exacting circle around her. Behind it, a ring of ancient oaks thrust toward the sky. But for some odd reason, the majestic oaks didn’t branch inward to cover the circle she stood in. Instead, the only thing she saw above was clear blue sky and sun-rays shining down. The width of the circle was about four horses’ lengths, and luscious green grass, long and mounded over, covered the ground.

  A small, oddly perfect, utopia.

  Aggie tilted her head to the sky, closing her eyes and letting the sun warm her cheeks.

  Hands slipped around her waist from behind, and she smiled, leaning into Devin.

  “You are forgiven,” she said.

  “I did not know I needed to be.” He nuzzled his cheek onto Aggie’s. “What did I do?”

  “Drag me out here. Did you not hear me swearing at you the entire time?”

  He chuckled. “I did not realize that was directed at me. Or maybe I did, but was choosing to ignore it. Besides, I like it when you swear at me. It usually means I am doing something incredibly sinful to your body. ”

  “Wanton scoundrel.” She turned her head and nipped his neck, laughing, then set her head on his shoulder, eyes taking in the paradise. “This is utterly exquisite. And bizarre. How does it grow like this? Does someone maintain it?”

  “No. I have no idea why it grows like this. It ju
st does. I stumbled upon it when I was little, and it has been like this since I knew of it. You have been pestering me about my childhood.” His hand swept around them. “So here it is. I spent as much time as possible here in the Circle.”

  “The Circle? That is what you named it? Your creativity astounds me.”

  He squeezed her waist, producing a squeal. “I was six when I named it.”

  “It is a functional name, I will give you that. But do not think I will leave naming our children up to you.”

  “What? I am much more creative now.”

  “Really?” Aggie spun in his hold and mock held two imaginary babies, lowering her voice in imitation of Devin. “This one shall be called ‘boy,’ and this one shall be called ‘second boy.’”

  Devin rolled his eyes, then pulled Aggie back into him. “Boys you say?”

  “I do. But let us not forget about ‘first girl’ and ‘second girl’ as well.”

  His fingers went along her neck, creating goose bumps as he cupped the back of her head. “You give me those children, Aggs, and I will gladly leave all the naming up to you.”

  Aggie’s breath caught hard at his words, at the glint in his grey eyes. The only thing that steadied her was her hands gripping his arms. Was it possible he wanted that as much as she had come to realize that she did? Children. This life. This man. Everything.

  “No.” He took a decided step away from her. “Before you give me that shameless look, there is more to the Circle, and you are not going to sidetrack me.”

  The core of her already pulsating, she reluctantly let her hands fall from him. “Fine. But what else could you possible need here? This is perfect just as it is.”

  “Except when it rains.”

  Aggie looked around, puzzled. All she saw were fat shrubs and towering trees.

  “Over here.” Devin took her hand and led her over to the far side of the Circle. “Right here, look,” he said, pointing straight ahead.

  Perplexed, her eyebrows raised. “I see a shrub.”

  “Exactly. That is what you are supposed to see.” Devin bent down and shoved his arm right into the middle of the greenery.