'Til I Kissed You

by Pam Howes

  ‘It’s fine, honestly.’ Jess felt her cheeks warm. There had been a slight awkwardness when Jon had popped his head round her door to say goodbye this morning, neither of them meeting the other’s eyes. He’d not even pecked her on the cheek as he normally did and now she was wondering if he was already regretting last night’s kisses and cuddles.

  Back home, Eddie rang The Grand to speak to Roy.

  ‘I’m sorry, Sir, Mr Cantello has given instructions that he doesn’t wish to be disturbed until after eleven. I can pass on a message if you like?’ the receptionist offered.

  ‘Thanks. Tell him Ed called and I’ll meet him at The Lodge about two-thirty.’ He hung up and turned to Jess. ‘Roy’s not available. Shall we set off for town and have a wander round the shops before lunch?’

  ‘Yeah, I might buy myself something new to wear and I’m almost out of perfume. Can we go to Kendal’s first?’

  ‘That’s more like it, girl. C’mon, I’ll lift you into the Jeep. Do you need your crutches?’

  ‘No, I’ll lean on you, if you don’t mind. I can put a bit more weight on my ankle now they’ve fitted this boot thing over my cast. I feel a right prat on the crutches!’

  ***

  Jess and Eddie wandered around her favourite clothes shops, emerging with several bags containing sweaters, tops, underwear and perfume. Eddie purchased a large flask of Jane’s favourite Chanel Number 5, and then they made their way to Flanagan and Grey’s.

  Leaning heavily on her dad’s arm, Jess laboured up the stairs and emerged at the top puffing and panting. A delighted Sean took her in his arms and hugged her.

  ‘Jess, it’s good to see you out and about, so it is’ he said, kissing her on both cheeks.

  She waved her un-plastered arm triumphantly in the air and looked across to the counter where Jon was standing. He stared at her for a long moment then walked over and hugged her.

  ‘So, sis, how does it feel to be plaster free?’

  ‘Good, really good. Dad wants to take us out,’ she said.

  ‘Oh, nice one. Can I go for an early lunch Sean?’

  ‘No problem. Livvy’s just arrived, so I can manage. Not that she’ll be much help; she looks half asleep this morning.’

  ‘Maybe she didn’t sleep much because of the outcome of seeing Roy last night,’ Jon said.

  Sean grinned knowingly. ‘Or maybe she didn’t sleep much because Roy spent the night with her, she just told me.’

  Eddie shook his head. ‘Did he now? No bloody wonder he doesn’t want to be disturbed until after eleven.’

  ***

  Livvy strolled out of the staffroom and caught them all standing in a huddle. Guessing correctly that she was the topic of their conversation she felt her cheeks warming when she saw that Jess was with them. Jon came to the rescue by telling her that Jess had just had the plaster cast removed from her wrist.

  ‘How are you, Jess?’ she asked, looking directly at the girl.

  ‘I’m getting there, Livvy, slowly but surely,’ Jess replied.

  ‘I’m so sorry about Nick, really I am.’

  Jess nodded. ‘Congratulations,’ she said, looking pointedly at Livvy’s baby bump.

  Livvy felt her cheeks heat further. ‘Thank you, although I wouldn’t have said that congratulations were really in order, would you?’

  ‘Well you want it, don’t you?’ Jess said. ‘Otherwise, you would have got rid of it, or made sure it didn’t happen in the first place.’

  ‘Of course I want it,’ Livvy said. ‘I’m just not sure that everyone else thinks I should have it.’

  ‘You have to admit it’s an awkward situation for everyone,’ Jess said. ‘Your timing could have been a little better.’

  ‘I didn’t plan to get pregnant, Jess; it was an accident. Anyway, Roy wants me to have the baby. He’s standing by me and he’s offered all kinds of support.’

  ‘Bet he hasn’t offered to marry you though, has he?’ Jess’s reply was laden with sarcasm.

  Livvy’s eyes filled with tears and Eddie stepped in to diffuse the situation.

  ‘Jess, that’s enough,’ he ordered gently.

  But Jess hadn’t quite finished. ‘He hasn’t, has he? And he never will. He’ll never, ever divorce Sammy for you, no matter how often you open your legs for him!’ She turned away as angry tears sprang to her eyes and ran down her cheeks.

  ***

  Jon led Jess into the staffroom. Shutting the door behind them, he sat her down and handed her a glass of water. ‘Calm down, you.’ He knelt in front of her and took her hand. It was cold and lifeless after weeks in plaster and he rubbed it gently.

  ‘What does Roy see in her?’ Jess sobbed. ‘She’s a calculating little bitch who got pregnant to try and trap him. She likes what she’s seen on her visits to our homes and she wants to be part of it. Roy’s such a fool for falling for that one.’

  ‘It goes a bit deeper than that, Jess. Roy loves Livvy, but he also loves Sammy and he’s a very mixed up man at the moment. Whether we like it or not, Livvy’s carrying his kid and he’s taking responsibility for it.’

  Jess sniffed and sighed. ‘Well at the end of the day, it’s no one's business but Roy, Livvy and Sammy’s. God though, I’d want to scratch her eyes out if I was Sam.’

  ‘Well you’re not, so stop fretting about it. You and I have a far more pressing problem of our own.’

  ‘Do we?’ Her lips trembled and her smile was wary.

  Jon nodded. ‘You know we do. I couldn’t face you this morning because I was embarrassed. Then when I got here, I was annoyed with myself because I probably upset you by not saying goodbye properly.’

  ‘Well I did wonder,’ she replied.

  ‘The truth is, I wanted to kiss you again this morning, but I didn’t dare. Everyone was up and about and it would have only taken Katie to come barging in and we’d have been in deep shit.’

  ‘So now what?’

  ‘Maybe we should avoid being alone together.’

  ‘Is that what you want?’ Jess looked at him with tear-filled eyes.

  ‘Of course not. I’m terrified of voicing what I really want, because we can’t do that and I’m damn sure if we’re alone it’ll happen. Am I right?’

  She was silent for a moment. Taking a sip of water she sighed. ‘Yes, it would. I can’t believe this is happening to us, Jon. We’re brother and sister; we’re from a normal family. Things like this don’t happen to people like us.’

  ‘Hardly a normal family, with everything that’s happened in the past and having a famous dad. Circumstances have brought us closer as well with Nick’s death.’

  Jess nodded. ‘I’ve come to rely on you so much. I don’t want us to be frightened of our being close, but we need to keep our feelings under control.’

  ‘That’s easier said than done, but we’ll try. Are you ready to face them all again? Dad will be wondering what’s going on. Let’s go and have lunch.’ He kissed her on the lips and hauled her to her feet. ‘Lean on me.’ He took her arm and together they went back into the shop.

  ***

  ‘Alright, you two?’ Eddie smiled as Jon and Jess emerged from the staffroom. With them out of the way he’d managed to speak to Livvy about Roy’s reaction and the promises he’d made her.

  Jess nodded. She turned to Livvy and smiled. ‘I’m sorry, Livvy, I had no right to be rude to you. It’s a difficult time for everyone. I’m sure you’ll do what’s best for you and the baby and I hope things work out for you.’

  Livvy nodded wearily.

  Between them, Jon and Eddie lifted Jess under her arms and whisked her down the stairs, closely followed by an obliging Sean, carrying the packages.

  ‘I’d join you, but I can’t leave Livvy alone,’ he said. ‘I’ll see you again.’ With a wave of his hand he strolled back inside the store.

  ‘Pub lunch or Italian?’ Eddie asked.

  ‘Pub lunch, please,’ they chorused.

  ‘Right you are. Let’s go to the Rose and Crown. They
do decent food.’ Eddie led the way, carrying the shopping, whilst Jess held on tightly to Jon as they followed their dad down the road. As he disappeared through the pub doorway, several yards ahead of them, Jon turned and kissed Jess on the lips.

  ‘I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist that one,’ he said, smiling at her as he led her into the pub.

  They made their way to the bar where their dad was chatting to the barmaid, a pint of lager already in his hand. ‘Come on, you two. What do you want to drink?’

  ‘Same as you please, Dad,’ Jon replied, winking at the barmaid. ‘Alright, Carol?’

  ‘Not so bad, Jon. And yourself?’

  ‘Overworked and underpaid,’ he said, smiling.

  ‘Aren’t we all?’ Carol pulled a neat pint and handing it to him.

  ‘Have you decided, Jess?’ her dad asked.

  ‘Pint of cider, please.’

  ‘Ah, our favourite tipple from schooldays.’

  Jess tutted with mock disapproval. ‘And you used to go on at us about under-age drinking.’

  ‘I was trying to be a protective father,’ he laughed.

  Jon found an alcove and Jess slid onto a seat. Eddie placed the bags on the seat beside Jess and sat down facing her while Jon squeezed in next to her.

  ‘They’ve done this place up a bit,’ Eddie said, looking round at the fresh cream décor, mahogany floor and red velvet upholstery. ‘Bit fancier than it was in the sixties. Your shoes used to stick to the old carpet.’

  ‘What have you been buying?’ Jon peered into one of the bags. ‘Oh, that looks nice.’ He half pulled out a black lacy item.

  ‘Jon, put it back,’ Jess hissed, taking the bag from him and blushing furiously. ‘I don’t want everyone to see it.’

  ‘Sorry,’ he grinned. ‘I thought it was a dress or something.’

  ‘No, it’s not. Now can we please stop discussing my underwear in public?’

  ‘Here, choose something to eat.’ Eddie handed them the menu, grinning at Jess’s comments. ‘I’ll just have a sandwich. I’m supposed to be swimming later. If I eat too much now I’ll sink, never mind swim.’

  ‘Steak for me,’ Jon said and Jess chose the same.

  With his father out of earshot at the bar, Jon whispered in Jess’s ear, ‘I wouldn’t mind seeing you in that black lacy thing sometime.’

  ‘Pack it in, Jon, Dad will hear you. This is going to have to stop.’

  ‘But you don’t really want it to, do you?’

  ‘You know I don’t.’

  ‘What are you two whispering about?’ Eddie made them jump as he appeared beside them. ‘Would you prefer chips or baked potato with your steak?’

  ‘Chips please, Dad,’ they chorused.

  As his dad walked away, Jon squeezed Jess’s hand.

  ‘You’re treading dangerous ground.’ She pulled her hand away.

  ‘I know.’ he replied and took a sip of his drink, ‘but it doesn’t feel wrong.’

  ‘It is wrong though,’ she said.

  ‘What is?’ Eddie sat down and picked up his drink.

  ‘Oh, Roy and Livvy,’ Jess replied quickly.

  ‘Well it’s certainly a mess. But it’s happened and he’ll have to do the best he can for all concerned. Now I wanted you both together to tell you something. It mustn’t go any further because of the delicate nature, but I’m telling you two as I know you’ll offer support.’

  Eddie lowered his voice and told them about Jason and Jules. He sat back and looked at their faces. ‘It’s a bit of a shock, I know. I found it hard to take when your mum told me last night. The whole family have a lot on their plates at the moment and they need us, and that includes Roy, Jess, so don’t give him a hart time when he comes over later.’

  ‘I did wonder - you know, about Jason I mean,’ Jon said. ‘He has that sort of look.’

  ‘What look,’ Jess frowned. ‘Gay, you mean? Well whatever, he’s our mate and always will be. I like Jules a lot, too. He’s really good to Jason.’

  ‘Roy thumped Jules last night and nearly broke the lad’s nose. He’s lucky he isn’t facing an assault charge today. Poor Roy, it wasn’t his night. Sammy told him about Livvy and the baby and he fainted clean away.’ Eddie shook his head.

  ‘Bloody hell. So he didn’t know about the baby until last night?’ Jess said.

  ‘No, only me, Sean and Jon knew, but Roy didn’t and neither did Mum or Sammy until yesterday, so don’t you dare let on to Mum that I knew before her.’

  ‘I won’t, but how come you knew?’

  ‘I saw Livvy in the churchyard after Nick’s service. She told me then.’

  ‘Oh!’ Jess was shocked. ‘So, in all fairness to Livvy, the baby was genuinely an accident and she’s kept it to herself all this time.’

  Eddie nodded. ‘She asked me to tell Roy. She was frightened and unsure what to do. Anyway, to cut a long story short, Sammy went to see her and that was that.’

  ‘Why did Sammy go and see her?’ Jess asked.

  ‘To tell her to send Roy packing if he turned up. She spotted Livvy was pregnant, hit the roof and you know the rest. Come on, sup up here’s the food. Same drinks again?’

  ‘Please, Dad.’ They spoke in unison as Eddie strolled to the bar leaving them staring at one another.

  ***

  ‘Ignorant cow!’ Sammy slammed the phone down and turned to Jane.

  ‘Who is?’

  ‘That bloody receptionist at The Grand. She Roy doesn’t want to be disturbed until after eleven. I told her I’m his wife and it would be quite in order for me to speak with him, but she was adamant, said she’d pass on a message.’

  ‘Oh well, let’s have a coffee and then you can be on your way. Give her a piece of your mind.’

  ***

  Sharon called Roy’s room just after eleven and conveyed both Sammy and Eddie’s messages to him. He jumped out of bed, stretched and lit a fag. Feeling much better for the extra sleep, he ran a bath, shaved and splashed himself liberally with Sammy’s favourite aftershave.

  He pulled on his usual Levis and T-shirt, then deciding he should look a bit smarter, chose a cream cotton shirt instead to show her he’d made an effort. He lay back on the hastily made bed, flicked idly through the TV channels and waited.

  ***

  Sharon’s jaw dropped at the sight of the coolly elegant woman standing at the desk. With her pale green linen suit, over a white silk top, shiny brown hair falling neatly to her shoulders, her makeup immaculate, she looked the epitome of a successful businesswoman. Her cool blue eyes raked over Sharon who smiled in a friendly manner.

  ‘Yes, can I help you?’

  ‘Mr Cantello’s room please.’

  ‘I’ll just check that he’s receiving visitors.’ She dialled Roy’s room number. ‘Whom shall I say?’

  ‘Mrs Cantello - his wife,’ the woman replied pointedly.

  ‘Mr Cantello,’ Sharon said as the call was answered. ‘I have your wife in reception. – Thank you. Goodbye. Room 125, through the double doors, up the stairs to the first floor and turn left,’ Sharon instructed. She stared enviously as Mrs Cantello walked away. She noted her long slender legs elegantly clad in shiny stockings and looked down at her own short ones. Her mother had always told her that she must have been at the back of the queue when God handed out legs. Roy Cantello’s wife had obviously been right at the front. She was certainly an attractive woman; she looked cool and frosty though. Maybe that was why he’d left her. Perhaps she was cool and frosty in bed and he needed someone warmer and more spontaneous.

  ***

  Sammy grinned as she walked away from reception, knowing she was being scrutinised. The receptionist seemed to be taking her duties a bit too seriously where Roy was concerned. Still, it didn’t worry her; the girl was no competition. Short, dumpy redheads had never been Roy’s type. She knocked on the door of room 125.

  ***

  ‘You look gorgeous, as always.’ Roy pulled Sammy close and kissed her.

  ‘And you
smell gorgeous,’ she said with a smile. ‘You know what that aftershave does to me.’

  ‘Why do you think I’m wearing it? I need all the help I can get,’ he quipped. He took her hand and led her into the middle of the room. ‘Chair or bed?’

  ‘Chair,’ she replied.

  ‘Oh!’ He looked crestfallen.

  ‘Idiot, as if,’ she teased. She removed her jacket, hung it over the back of the chair and sat down on the bed.

  ‘Do you want to eat first or afterw…?’ he trailed off as Sammy smiled at him.

  ‘Jumping the gun as usual, Cantello!’ She patted his hand. ‘I’m starving, let’s eat first.’

  He nodded and called reception for room service. He ordered a tray of assorted sandwiches, a fresh fruit platter and a bottle of chilled white Chardonnay.

  ‘Right, before the food arrives, tell me quickly how you got on with Livvy last night. I was going to call you around midnight but I fell asleep. I rang this morning but the snotty cow on reception wouldn’t put me through, because you’d asked not to be disturbed.’

  ‘I was just tired, you know, with everything that happened yesterday,’ he told her. He silently thanked heaven that Sammy had fallen asleep last night, otherwise she would certainly have realised he’d spent the night at Livvy’s place. Helping the girl was one thing, but him sleeping with her again, Sammy would not tolerate under any circumstances. He knew he was skating on very thin ice. He outlined his plans and she nodded her approval.

  ‘And when the child arrives, are you going to want access?’

  ‘I hadn’t thought that far to be perfectly honest. Can we cross that bridge when we come to it?’

  She nodded. ‘Now let’s concentrate on Jason and us. Our son needs us more than Livvy does at the moment.’

  ‘Well Jason isn’t here right now, but we are, so let’s concentrate on us today.’ Roy stroked her thigh through her skirt, kneading the little bumps of her suspenders. ‘Stockings and suspenders again. You certainly know the way to a man’s heart, girl.’

  ‘I know the way to yours,’ she said, pulling him down beside her. She undid the buttons on his shirt and buried her face in the dark, curly hairs on his chest.

  He traced his fingertips from her nose, over her lips, chin and down the front of her top. He smiled as her nipples responded to his touch through the fine silk. He bent to kiss her lips and pushed her skirt up when a knock on the door startled them.