'Til I Kissed You

by Pam Howes

  ‘Not really,’ Carl replied, blushing as red as his carroty hair. ‘Cathy’s got problems. Time’s running out, so I got her a dog instead.’

  ‘Very wise,’ Tim said kindly. ‘Less trouble all round if you ask me.’

  ‘It would have been nice to find that out for ourselves, but Jon comes to see Cathy occasionally and that keeps her happy.’

  ‘She’s always had a soft spot for Angie’s lad,’ Tim said.

  ‘Hey, doesn’t Ed get a mention here,’ Phil said, ‘Jon’s his boy, too.’

  ‘Well, of course,’ Carl stuttered and picked up his pint.

  Eddie, sensing Carl’s discomfort over the touchy subject, quickly changed tact. ‘How old are your kids with your second wife, Phil?’

  ‘Three and two,’ he replied.

  ‘So Jo’s a few years younger than you?’

  ‘No, Ed, same age. Forty-one now, like me.’

  ‘Why did you split up?’ Eddie asked curiously.

  ‘She accused me of being a womaniser,’ Phil said. ‘Can you believe that?’

  The others laughed bawdily. Phil had been the biggest womaniser on the planet when The Raiders were in their heyday.

  ‘How old’s your new bird, Roy?’ Phil asked.

  ‘Twenty-two,’ Roy replied sheepishly.

  ‘Bloody hell!’ Phil’s glass hit the table with a thud.

  ‘I know, I know. I’m old enough to be her father.’

  ‘No, mate, it’s not that. I envy you. Has she got a friend?’ Phil grinned wickedly.

  ‘Right, enough about our problems, let’s get down to some serious business.’ Eddie tried to bring order to the meeting as the others nodded. ‘We’re in agreement that re-launching the band is what we all want. So we need a plan of action. I suggest we get together on Friday at my place and have a session, see how we sound these days. Me and Roy have written some new stuff we can try and we’ll jam some of the oldies. I’ll give Frank James a call tomorrow and let him know our plans.’

  ‘Is Frank still in the business?’ Phil asked of their old agent and manager.

  ‘He is,’ Roy said. ‘Are you under any contracts you can’t get out of, Carl?’

  ‘No, free as a bird at the moment,’ Carl replied.

  ‘And you are, Phil, obviously.’

  ‘I’m all yours.’

  ‘I’ll have to get a new bass and amp to be going on with,’ Tim said. ‘All my stuff’s on its way with the shipping company, but it’ll be another week or two. I’ve got a brilliant fretless bass; the sound’s rich and deep.’

  ‘Fantastic,’ Roy said. ‘I love a fretless bass. We’ll nip to Flanagan and Grey’s tomorrow then and pick up some gear.’

  ‘Actually, Sean would probably loan you the stuff,’ Eddie said. ‘Seems daft buying new gear when you’ve got umpteen guitars on the way. I’ll call him in the morning.’

  They continued drinking and making plans for the next few hours until the landlord threw them out just after midnight.

  ***

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  ‘Who were saying that to?’ Eddie spoke quietly as he watched Jess replace the receiver, a smile playing on her face.

  ‘Oh, Dad, you made me jump,’ she said, colour rushing to her cheeks. ‘In answer to your nosy question, that was my big brother. We always say “I love you”, it’s what brothers and sisters do.’

  ‘Is it? I wouldn’t know, I never had any,’ he said yawning. He sat down at the kitchen table. ‘Make me a black coffee, Jess, I feel knackered.’

  ‘Hung over, more like,’ Jess said. ‘You’ve got bloodshot eyes. Good night, was it? Get everything sorted with the lads?’

  ‘We did,’ he replied, lighting his first cigarette of the day. ‘But I feel terrible. Never again. Lager gives me horrendous hangovers.’

  ‘You shouldn’t have drunk so much then, should you?’ Jess showed no sympathy for her dad’s self-inflicted ills as she spooned coffee granules into two mugs.

  ‘To be honest, I didn’t realise how much we’d drunk until Phil offered to get in his second round, which would have made it ten pints each. So we stuck at nine and I struggled with that.’

  ‘How is Phil? I haven’t seen him for years. What’s he been doing since you disbanded?’

  ‘Getting married, twice, and he’s fathered six kids to boot,’ he replied as Jess pushed a mug of strong black coffee across the kitchen table.

  ‘Six! Wow, that’s some responsibility.’

  ‘He’s desperate to work. Needs money badly. He’s just split from his second wife, so he’s got massive financial commitments. He’s had to move back home with his old mum, can’t even afford to rent a flat.’

  ‘What’s he done with all the money he made with The Raiders?’

  ‘All gone! Phil was a big spender, generous to a T where women were concerned. Roy and I got the lion’s share, because we’re the songwriters. Tim wrote a few and he’s had a fair bit of success in the States, so he’s pretty comfortable. Carl works constantly of course, so he’s also financially stable. But Phil, well he hasn’t done anything except spend and breed, it would appear.

  ‘He still owns a couple of nice houses in the area,’ he continued. ‘Laura, you remember her, redhead, had twins, well she lives in Apple Tree House with four kids, and his other ex, Jo is in the second house with two more. Phil’s only other possessions are his guitars and a fairly clapped out Merc.’

  ‘Poor Phil! So he’s starting again from scratch?’

  ‘He is. We’re meeting here tomorrow, so you can pass on your sympathy then, seeing as you’re not giving me any for my bad head.’

  She laughed. ‘What are your plans for today, Dad?’

  ‘I’m gonna give Sean a call in a minute. See if he’ll loan Tim a bass and amp from the store. Then we’ll collect them. Do you want to come with us?’

  ‘Yeah, I’ll take a quick shower while you ring him.’

  ‘Okay,’ he nodded and took a long drink of coffee.

  ‘By the way, Dad, that call from Jon was to say Perry’s Dream is on Top of the Pops tonight and also that F&G’s have sold out of the single.’

  ‘Excellent! It’ll be number one next week with a bit of luck. We’ll watch TV tonight then. Don’t let me forget.’

  ‘I won’t. I want an eyeful of James Perry for myself!’ she replied over her shoulder.

  Eddie smiled. Jess was showing definite signs of improvement. After last Friday’s hysteria attack she seemed so much calmer and relaxed. On Sunday at Sammy’s she’d appeared on top of the world. She and Jon had laughed and joked with Jason and Jules. It had been good to see them all smiling again, but he hoped Jess wasn’t blocking her pain and grief by denying herself a reasonable mourning period. He stood up and stretched as Lennon whimpered and butted his leg. ‘Want your breakfast? Come on then, old son.’

  ***

  Roy hadn’t told Livvy he was going into town today and he was lounging against the wall in the instruments department when she arrived back from lunch.

  ‘Hi, Babe,’ he greeted her.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ She walked towards him, clutching a Kendal’s carrier bag.

  ‘Thought I’d surprise you. Come and say hello to Tim.’ He placed his arm around her shoulders and led her to a tall man with long blonde hair. ‘Tim, meet Livvy.’

  Tim spun round, eyes widening as he took in Livvy’s beauty, her tumbling blonde curls and big blue eyes. ‘Well hello, Livvy, it’s nice to meet you at last. Congratulations, by the way.’

  ‘Thank you, Tim.’ She shook his outstretched hand. ‘It’s nice to meet you, too. I’ve heard such a lot about you from Roy.’

  ‘All good, I hope.’

  ‘Oh absolutely,’ she nodded. ‘I’d better go upstairs and do some work.’ She held up the carrier bag. ‘I got us some lovely china mugs for the flat, Roy.’

  ‘Tell me how much I owe you later.’ Roy bent to kiss her. ‘See you soon.’ He stared after her, smiling.

  Tim, Sean and E
ddie looked at one another eyebrows raised.

  ‘Very nice, Roy,’ Tim nodded his approval. ‘Very nice indeed.’

  ‘She is,’ he replied proudly. ‘She does wonders for my dented ego,’ he added quietly.

  ‘Right, Tim, which one do you fancy?’ Eddie turned his mind back to the more pressing subject of choosing a bass.

  ‘Hmmm,’ Tim frowned and scratched his chin. ‘The Fender Precision, I think. It sounds fine. I’ll take that Marshall amp as well, Sean.’

  Sean nodded. ‘I’ll throw in a couple of extra leads and some strings. Just make sure me and Tina get front row seats for the first gig.’

  ‘It goes without saying,’ Tim said. ‘I really appreciate this.’

  ‘Think nothing of it. Right, let’s go upstairs, have a coffee then I’ll help you load up. I presume you’re in the Jeep, Ed?’

  ‘Yeah, I’ll bring it round to the loading bay when we’re ready to go.’

  ***

  Livvy was alone behind the counter.

  ‘Where’s Jon and Jess?’ Sean asked her.

  Livvy nodded towards the staffroom door. ‘They’re making coffee for everyone.’

  ‘I’ll go and hurry them along,’ Sean said. He tapped on the door. Jon and Jess sprang guiltily apart as he slipped into the room, closing the door behind him. ‘It’s a bloody good job it’s me and not your dad.’

  ‘Sorry, Sean,’ Jon apologised, hanging his head as Jess blushed furiously.

  ‘Be careful, you two. You’re playing a very dangerous game. Have you finished brewing?’

  ‘We’ll be out in a minute,’ Jess said.

  Sean nodded and left them to it.

  ***

  ‘Sean wasn’t very pleased then.’ Jess stared at the door. ‘You don’t suppose he’ll say anything to Dad?’

  ‘No, he won’t,’ Jon reassured her. ‘I’m sorry, Jess, that was my fault. Can’t keep my bloody hands off you. When are Mum and Dad going out again, have they said?’

  ‘Tomorrow night, I think. I’ll ask Dad in a minute. We can always go back to the barn.’

  His face lit up. ‘Okay. If they don’t go out tomorrow, we will. Right, let’s take the tray through. Get the door for me.’

  ***

  ‘Coffee on the house, this brings back memories,’ Tim said, a faraway look in his eyes. ‘But not in this shop of course. I mean the old Pickford branch. Oh, happy days, when our cares were few and our needs were simple.’

  Roy sighed. ‘Weren’t they just? I often think about those times. Ten Woodies, the latest records and meeting Sammy, Pat and Jane after school.’

  ‘And you, lusting after Sammy, determined to drag her off to Norman’s Woods,’ Tim laughed. He suddenly remembered Livvy standing behind the counter. ‘Sorry, Livvy,’ he apologised. ‘I didn’t think.’

  ‘It’s all right, Tim, everyone has history,’ she replied coolly. ‘Some more than others!’

  ‘That’s because some of us are older,’ Tim quipped in an effort to lighten the mood.

  ‘Dad, are you and Mum off out tomorrow night?’ Jon said, tactfully changing the subject.

  ‘Yeah, why, is there a problem with you babysitting, or something?’

  ‘No. Jess and I said we’d go out with Jason if you were staying home, that’s all.’

  ‘Well if you don’t mind, we’re out for a meal. Is that right, Tim?’

  Tim nodded. ‘Yep, Jason and Jules are actually babysitting for us tomorrow. Stu’s booked a table for eight-thirty. I’m not sure where, you’ll have to check with Sammy.’ Out of the corner of his eye, Tim saw Roy’s jaw tighten.

  ‘So, who else is going?’ Roy asked.

  ‘Just the six of us, I believe,’ Tim replied.

  Roy’s eyes grew dark and he gripped the edge of the counter until his knuckles were white. ‘Six of you?’ He looked at Eddie. ‘Is Sammy seeing Stuart?’

  Eddie shook his head. ‘Not in the way you mean. They’re just good friends.’

  ‘Don’t give me that just good friend’s load of bollocks! He’s always fancied Sam; you know that. Has she been out with him, apart from that so-called business meeting last week?’

  Eddie sighed and looked at Tim for support.

  ‘Well - has she?’ Roy demanded.

  ‘He took her out for a meal on Monday night, Roy, that’s all. Just a meal, don’t get upset about it.’

  ‘And it never entered your head to tell me?’ Roy exclaimed. ‘My wife goes out with another man and my best mate says nothing!’

  ‘Roy, stop it, you’re upsetting Livvy.’ As Eddie looked at Livvy’s stricken face, she fled into the staffroom, slamming the door behind her.

  ‘Now look what you’ve done,’ Sean raised his voice. ‘If you can’t handle Sammy seeing Stuart you should have thought twice before you screwed Livvy again.’ He followed her into the staffroom.

  Roy shook his head. ‘Shit! I’m sorry; I can’t deal with this at the moment. I’m going back to my flat. I’ll jump in a cab and I’ll talk to you and Tim later, Ed.’

  He shot off down the stairs, leaving the others staring after him.

  ‘He still loves Sammy,’ Jess stated. ‘He looked really hurt and upset just then.’

  ‘He does still love Sammy and she still loves him. But there’s Livvy and the baby to consider, too. Think how she must be feeling right now,’ Eddie replied.

  ‘And now Roy knows a little of how Sammy must also feel,’ Tim said.

  Sean strolled out of the staffroom shaking his head. ‘Fucking hell, I feel like I’m walking on bloody eggshells. She heard what I said to Roy about him screwing her. I’ve just been told in no uncertain terms that Roy made love to her, he didn’t screw her!’

  Tim rolled his eyes heavenward. ‘Well whatever she wants to call it, the end result was the same. Bingo! For Christ’s sake, this is a good start to our Raiders reunion.’

  ‘Come on, Tim, I’ll drop Jess and the gear back at The Lodge and you at Sammy’s,’ Eddie said. ‘Then I’ll go and see Roy. He’s still very cut up over losing Nick and the least little thing upsets him.’

  ‘Will Livvy be okay, Sean?’ Jess asked. ‘Would you like me to talk to her?’

  ‘Don’t worry, Jess. Jon can take a break and go and sit with her for ten minutes after I’ve helped your dad load the car.’

  ‘Can you manage the stairs, Jess?’

  ‘Yes, Dad, but you lot go down first and I’ll meet you at the front door in a couple of minutes.’

  ***

  Jess held Jon’s gaze as their dad led the way downstairs. The record department was customer free as Jon took her in his arms and kissed her tenderly.

  ‘I love you, Jess, but everything’s a bloody mess. All these dilemmas.’

  ‘Well we’ll be okay,’ she replied, smiling reassuringly.

  ‘But we’re having an incestuous relationship. We’ve got to get away after Christmas.’

  She nodded. ‘I’d better go. Dad’ll be waiting. I’ll see you later, Jon.’ She touched his cheek gently and went downstairs.

  ***

  Jon knocked on the staffroom door. Livvy opened it a crack.

  ‘Come on out,’ he said.

  ‘Have they gone?’ Her bottom lip wobbled slightly as she looked at him. ‘He still loves her, doesn’t he? It’s not going to go away, baby or no baby. He’d go back to her tomorrow if she’d have him.’

  ‘Well you’ve known that all along. He never told you anything different. He’s loved Sam from the day they met and they were inseparable, until you.’

  ‘So what do I do now?’

  ‘I don’t know. Wait for him to calm down I suppose. Sammy won’t have him back; she’s made that perfectly clear. All you can do is hang in and see what happens. Were you supposed to be staying with him tonight?’

  She nodded. ‘I was, but I’m gonna go straight home. He can call me if he wants me.’

  ‘Very wise,’ Jon agreed. ‘Give him a chance to get his head around the Stuart thing.’

&n
bsp; ‘I guess I need the patience of a saint where Roy’s concerned.’

  ‘I guess you do,’ Jon replied.

  ***

  ‘Come in, Ed. Do you want a drink?’

  ‘Please.’ Eddie followed Roy into the lounge. ‘A small one.’ He sat down on an armchair. ‘What was all that about earlier?’

  Roy poured a glass of single malt and passed it over. ‘I can’t stand the thought of Sammy with Stuart. She’s mine, she’s always been mine.’

  ‘You gave up that right last weekend.’

  Roy let his head fall back against the sofa. He stared at the ceiling, his eyes burning with unshed tears. ‘I know, and it hurts like hell.’

  ‘I see Livvy’s been busy,’ Eddie said, looking at the pink and cream cushions, which matched the pink and cream Chinese rug in front of the fire.

  Roy nodded. ‘She has. Pink’s her favourite colour, although I could live with a bit less of it. The red roses on the table are my touch, in case you’re wondering. Romantic bastard that I am!’

  ‘She’s doing her best, Roy. You have to give her a chance. You can’t keep lifting her up then letting her down.’

  ‘Do you think if I went down on bended knee, Sammy would forgive me?’

  ‘Not this time, mate. I wish I could say differently. Anyway, Livvy and the baby aren’t going to go away.’

  ‘I’ve made a right fucking pig’s ear of everything. I’d better give her a call before I lose her, too. I do love her, but not half as much as I love Sammy.’ He refilled his glass and topped up Eddie’s. ‘If I ask you a question, Ed, will you be absolutely honest with me?’

  ‘Ask away,’ Eddie replied, slugging back his whisky.

  ‘Is Stuart shagging Sammy?’

  ‘Not that I know of. She would have told Jane, and as a rule, Jane tells me everything. Sammy’s only been out with him the once when all’s said and done. Anyway, she wouldn’t rush headlong into a relationship without first weighing up the pros and cons. You should know that, Roy.’

  Roy nodded. ‘This has been the worst three months of my life. It’s an effort to get up each morning and I feel so depressed.’

  ‘You seem happy enough when you’re with Livvy.’

  ‘Well yeah, most of the time I am. I just have to get on with it and make the best of a bad job.’