Sophie's Throughway

by Jules Smith

  I scrolled through the pictures again trying not to be so picky and found one. I sent it before I had time to change my mind. Again I sat there, still, waiting for whatever was going to happen next.

  I didn’t get a smiley face back. I didn’t even get a return mail. I just got a message in the game in the little green chat bubble.

  THE VOICE: It’s perfect.

  Chapter 14

  I was always knackered on a Monday morning. I’d open my eyes at the sound of the alarm and feel nauseous with fatigue. Except that never happened at the weekend, oh no. My eyes would ping open and my brain would be saying, “Come on, get up, lots to do, come on, let’s go.” On a Monday it wasn’t even responsive.

  I crawled out of bed and thought about how I was going to explain my drug induced behaviour to my boss. Ugh.

  The calendar on my phone beeped on my dressing table reminding me it was Brendon’s paediatrician appointment. We had to go as they usually liaised well with the school on what he needed support wise. Not that anything ever changed. I’d forgotten on Friday to ask Colin if this was OK. Damn. I was sure he’d be alright with it but I knew I was taking the rise with my flexible hours at work. I got ready quickly and woke Brendon up telling him we had an appointment with Kathy.

  “Oh for fucks sake. I don’t want to go. Can I have the rest of the day off school after?”

  “No. You’ve got exams this year, so no,” I reiterated.

  “I can pass them in my sleep.”

  “Just get up! You said you’d try so how about sticking to that and getting up. NOW!”

  I went downstairs to ring Colin. He answered in seconds.

  “Hi Colin, It’s me Sophie.”

  “Yes, Soph, I KNOW it’s you, your name comes up when you ring.”

  “Oh yeah, I don’t know why I do that..Anyway, I forgot about an appointment at Brendon’s paediatrician this morning. I have to go which means I’ll be in late..is that OK?” God, I felt really bad about doing this.

  “Yeah, sure but it means you’ll miss this morning’s meeting.”

  I clasped my hands over my eyes and sighed. I’d forgotten that too.

  “But we can go through it when you get in. What time will that be?”

  “About ten -ish…” I offered tentatively.

  “Ok babe. See you then and you can tell me all about the phone box idea!”

  I suppressed a groan and said my goodbye’s quickly.

  After dropping Bryony at school, Brendon sat very quietly in the car staring straight ahead.

  “Are you alright?” I inquired. He seemed very subdued, which was odd. Nice, but odd.

  “Tired.”

  I decided to take the opportunity to talk to him, since he was in a calm frame of mind and stuck next to me in the car, unable to escape.

  “You know what I said yesterday? You know, about behaviour..” I gave him a sideways glance as I drove and he remained fixated to the road ahead. “It’s really important that you reign in a little. Try not to react to teachers if they something you don’t like.” I looked over as we stopped at the traffic lights. He was still staring straight ahead like he was in a trance. “It’s really important that we get through your exams and th..”

  Suddenly, he lurched forward and punched the dashboard again and again. I froze in the seat, flabbergasted and expecting the passenger airbag to explode at any minute. The car behind tooted me because I was oblivious to the lights turning green. I drove forward slowly trying to find a place to pull up.

  “Just shut the FUCK UP,” he yelled. “Stop the fucking car.” He opened the glove compartment and slammed it shut. He then moved his hand onto the handbrake. “Stop the fucking car or I WILL.”

  I pulled over quickly onto the zig-zags outside a primary school where I wasn’t supposed to. A woman walking by and pushing a buggy gave me a dirty look, like I was a stupid parent who thought she could just stop where she wanted and flaunt the rules.

  “Brendon..” I didn’t know what to do. My heart was pounding. Where had this rage come from?

  “Stop fucking talking,” he shouted. I stopped and remained quiet, wondering how to deal with this. He yanked off his seat belt and opened the car window wide. His breathing was laboured. Leaning suddenly forward in the seat, he clasped his hands behind his neck and bent his head down to his knees. After several minutes, he then sat up, opened the car door and got out, slamming it hard behind him.

  “Where are you going?” I called after him. He didn’t answer. I watched as he paced up and down the street, tight faced and angry. I saw him taking deep breaths and stretching his arms up high and gripping his hands tightly together. My heart was racing and I felt powerless. I could normally see when he was going to flip out but I hadn’t seen that coming.

  A man in his late forties with three kids in tow stopped at the open, passenger side window and leant down to speak to me. “You can’t park here love – zig zags.” He waved his arms at the connecting yellow ‘V’s painted on the floor. “Have you passed your test?”

  “I’m sorry…really sorry… I know. I had to stop because my son was unwell.” I replied, feeling like crying and pulling at a piece of thread on my skirt.

  “Well you coulda drove down a few more yards, this is a school, it’s dangerous.” He walked off chuntering about me as he made his way to the school gates. A lot less dangerous than my son yanking up the handbrake and causing a serious accident near children, I thought. But he hadn’t seen that part. He, like the woman in the buggy, just assumed I was some dilatory Mother, with no regard for anyone as was always the case. It made me hate people.

  Brendon came back to the car and got in. “Just drive,” he said, “let’s get this shit appointment over.”

  I pulled away from the kerb and kept quiet. We had to get to the paediatrician and I needed him to be calm. He’d tell me what all that was about when he was ready. We parked up at the back of the health centre and made our way to reception. The centre was having a refurb and we were directed to a different corridor than usual to sit and wait. The hallway was quite dim and had three wooden doors to different clinics. We sat down on the waiting chairs and I grabbed an old magazine and started going through it; trying to distract myself from the nausea inside. Brendon sat next to me looking at the pictures as I flicked through.

  “She’s such a slag,” he remarked, as a picture of Jordan came to view.

  “She’s actually very clever at what she does,” I answered, glad that he was now entering into conversation with me and finding equilibrium.

  “I hate girls who look like her. She’s a tart.”

  I ignored the comment and carried on reading the wasteful gossip as we waited for Kathy to become available. Suddenly Brendon got to his feet, arms folded and clearly agitated. I looked up quickly, praying he wasn’t about to lose it again.

  “Come on,” he urged, “there’s no fucking way I’m going in there.” He nodded his head back to one of the closed doors.

  “What? Why? What’s the matter Brendon?”

  “Err… have you seen what it says on the door? This place is freaky man. Come on!”

  I looked at the plaques on the door wondering what the hell he was on about. “What are you talking about?”

  “The door…DUH…Have you read what is says,” he pointed at the door plaque, “PHYSIO THE RAPIST”

  I leaned back in my chair and laughed out loud, letting the magazine slide from my lap. That was priceless. I’d never known anyone that could take me from absolute despair to raucous laughter in the space of a few minutes like Brendon could. “It’s physiotherapist,” I said. “As in fizee-oh-therapist.” I was still chuckling at how he’d read it and loving the naivety of his mind despite how intelligent he was. “It’s a name for a person that helps with physical therapy and movement..that sort of thing.”

  “Well it’s retarded and I’m not going in that room.” He remained standing, arms crossed, whilst we waited for Kathy.

  The appointment
went by fairly quickly, mostly due to Brendon being as difficult as possible. I didn’t mind that too much because at least she got to see what he was like to deal with and would report this back to the school in a favourable way for Brendon. We went through some of his behaviour at school of late including the fact he’d upped onto governors report and so on. I wanted to mention taking weed but I’d have to do that when alone with her otherwise he would go ballistic. He wasn’t responding well to being questioned this morning and had burst out with a “Why does everyone keep talking and telling? Why don’t they shut the hell up and start listening?” Ah, so that’s what the rage had been about. I felt for him. I knew it was difficult but only he could find a way to manage his emotions.

  We left with an ‘open appointment’ as Brendon had said he didn’t see the point in constantly discussing his condition with people that had never experienced it themselves.

  We drove back to school in silence as I didn’t want to overload him. I didn’t dare say “behave yourself” as I think that would have just tipped him over the edge. I wished him a good day as he left the car.

  I got to work at 10.15am and went straight through to see Colin. I noticed Johnno wasn’t there as I passed his desk.

  “Thanks Colin. Sorry about all this flexi – time,” I apologised as I removed my jacket, “what did I miss?” I sat in his leather chair as he talked me through the mornings meeting and what he wanted me to cover.

  “There’s an invite to World Service in a few weeks, I’ve put you and I down as attending…if that’s alright?” He was going through his blackberry looking for the date.

  “Yeah, sure..” World Service was a really exclusive restaurant so I felt honoured that Colin had asked me to go along with him.

  “So – what’s this phone box idea then Soph?” He looked up with a big smile.

  “Oh God. I’m so sorry about that. You won’t believe what happened. Brendon fed me hash brownies and I went cuckoo. Just ignore EVERYTHING I said.” I blushed a little, now I was having to explain myself.

  “HA HA! That’s hilarious. I like his style. How did the meeting go?”

  “Well, Karl came and managed to save the day for once and basically told them they were shoddy and unprepared with a severe lack of understanding and procedure. He bought us some time and hopefully I can get him through his exams before he gets himself expelled.” I twiddled with the pen in my fingers, “Thanks Colin, you really are good to me and I really do appreciate it.”

  “No worries babe.” He looked so sincere but then he did have those kind of blue eyes that did that.

  “Where’s Johnno by the way, is he out on something?”

  “He’s got a groin injury from a charity five a side yesterday. Says he’s in agony!” Colin shook his head.

  I left his office and went to my desk. I was so going to rib Johnno about that. I got my phone out to text him.

  MSG: TO JOHN SMITH; Aww poor baby…does it hurt?

  My phone rang before I could put it down saying Hillfields School. No. No way. Surely he can’t have done something wrong already; in just two hours. I took in a deep breath and answered.

  “Hi Sophie, It’s Janice.”

  “Please tell me he hasn’t kicked off already…”

  “Err no, actually he hasn’t but if you can come in sometime later or tomorrow then I need to see you.”

  “Oh? Well I’ll have to check with my boss. It’s probably going to have to be tomorrow first thing, if I can. What’s the problem?”

  “Mr. Fothergill had to change all his arrangements this morning. The school had an impromptu visit from Victor Churchman in respect of something that Brendon has done.”

  “What?” Oh. My. God. Victor Churchman, the Labour MP has visited the school because of Brendon. The enormity of it ran through my mind.

  What the hell had he done now?

  I sat at my desk looking at my phone and wondering whether or not to ring Karl. Should I tell him that MP’s were now coming into school because of our son or should I wait to see what it was all about first? Probably better. He’d only irritate me and I wanted a bit more time to lapse between us from after the brownie incident. I couldn’t possibly go to school this afternoon because I’d already rolled in late but being late again tomorrow was just royally taking the piss. I put my phone down and went to Colin’s office. He was on the phone but beckoned me in to take a seat until he’d finished.

  “Colin, I need to take a few days holiday,” I said quickly.

  “Oh? Late deal or something?”

  “I wish! When do I ever go on holiday, Colin?” I laughed. However it wasn’t funny. I could die for a break somewhere in Europe. The sun glistening on the blue Mediterranean; flip flops and floaty frocks; long glasses of sangria and lazing by the pool. I couldn’t afford such luxuries and I wouldn’t leave Brendon with anyone else and he would not go on holiday unless it involved sport and snow. My time off was usually spent decorating, gardening and catching up with the ironing.

  “I need to go into school again. Apparently Victor Churchman has been in regarding Brendon.”

  “Victor Churchman? What the hell for?” Colin looked quite surprised.

  “I’ve no idea. They will only tell me when I get there. It’s Mr. Fothergill’s way of asserting control, like I’m one of his pupils or something. I was thinking about going tomorrow which is why I need to take a few days. I’ll still work at home but I’d rather take it as holiday.”

  “Just go, it’s not a problem.”

  “No Colin. It is a problem. It’s very good of you to be so accommodating but it’s not fair to everyone else. It makes me feel bad and like I’m getting preferential treatment. That’s going to cause resentment sooner or later.”

  “Everyone knows how hard you work Soph,” he sat with his chin resting on his hand looking at me as though trying to figure me out, “it’s only a phase and you get your work done, so I don’t mind.” He gave a hopeful smile.

  “But Aspergers isn’t a phase. I need to get him sorted out Colin and I’d rather take it as holiday but still work in-between to make up for my time off. Please?”, I begged.

  “How long?”

  “Maybe three days, starting tomorrow?”

  “OK – It’s yours.”

  “You’re the best Ed in the world.” I grinned at him as I stood up to leave. He sat back in his chair smiling as he watched me leave.

  I got my head down for the rest of the day which was a lot easier without Johnno there until I received a text back from him.

  JOHN SMITH: I’m in severe pain Soph, but scored a hat trick! Better than Frank.

  SOPHIE RHODES: You’re not even in Frank’s league Johnno – He’s premiership material. Plus he wouldn’t be wussing about a little groin strain!

  JOHN SMITH: I bet you’re missing me!

  SOPHIE RHODES: How can I miss you when you won’t stop texting me. Go away. I’m busy.

  I actually was missing Johnno but I’d never tell him that. It was nice to have a bit of banter whilst you worked and he was so easy to reel in.

  The day passed quickly and I managed to get a ton of articles sorted which made me feel like I’d made up for my poor attendance. I arrived home about 6.30pm to find Bryony, Brendon and ‘new girlfriend’ at the Starship Enterprise watching YouTube videos. I’d wanted to talk to him about the ‘MP’ coming in and get the heads up on what he’d done. However, when I’d rang Janice Armitage earlier to make an appointment she’d asked me not to so we could all go through it together. I hated being on the back foot.

  Brendon came through to the kitchen with his new chick. “This is Jessie, Mother,” he announced as he put his arm round her neck.

  “Hi Jessie,” I enthused, “lovely to meet you and I love that scarf you’re wearing.” I picked up the delicate turquoise material around her neck that was imprinted with multicoloured butterflies.

  “Oh, you too! And thank you,” she smiled, “it’s from Top Shop.”

  I
loved her instantly: Well spoken, friendly and pretty to boot.

  Brendon remained on his best behaviour all night and even sat at the table for dinner because Jessie made him. Who’d have thought that all we’d ever needed was a nice girl to sort him out.

  Chapter 15

  The following morning I let Brendon and Bryony walk to school together whilst I did a bit of work from home. My appointment with school wasn’t until 10.am and they wanted to see me on my own first. I hadn’t said a word to Brendon about coming in, just like they had asked.

  I arrived at reception and Janice was already downstairs waiting to meet me. We went up to her office and sat down.

  “Right,” she said, as she removed a piece of paper from a file, “this is what’s happened. Apparently Brendon is unhappy with the way the IT department is being run and so a few weeks back, he took it upon himself to write an email to Victor Churchman. Quite frankly, I think it’s a very well written letter for his age but it is Brendon we are talking about! Mr. Fothergill is slightly upset as we had an impromptu visit from Victor who is now looking into the school system.” She handed over the printed e mail for me to read:

  From: BRENDON RHODES

  To: CHURCHMAN, VICTOR

  Subject: Hillfields School Improvements.

  Dear Victor

  I am a pupil at Hillfields School and I would like to address a few issues with you seeing as you are our MP.

  Firstly, I have no big problem with the school. I’ve learnt a lot in the past few years, not just from an intellectual point of view but also socially. However, there are a few things bugging me that I think you may be able to help with.

  Well, first off I think the technology is very, very behind- this includes all Adobe products (around 5-6 years behind) and the computers are even further back than that. Seeing as this school is a technology college I find it incredibly annoying and frustrating that we don’t have, I hesitate to say a new…but at least up to date technology. Adobe CS6 has been launched and I have tried and tested it myself at home, the school has Adobe CS3, which, as I said, is half a decade behind. What’s the use of teaching someone to edit in Photoshop CS3 when there’s a different, easier way in CS6. This will negatively impact the jobs of pupils in the future when they’ve only learnt about CS3. This happens with all programs in school associated with Adobe. Another thing is, in my information Technology class, we’ve been learning to create websites in Dreamweaver CS3. I was very excited to help out my class mates because I learnt about this at home (mostly because I was so interested, I finally began to create sites for my family with up to date methods) And when it came to the lesson, the teacher started to teach them how to work with tables. You might not know, but if you go to any website in the entire world you’ll only see them made with CSS, which is a programming language, easy enough to learn, in Dreamweaver. I was extremely disappointed finding out that the school were teaching people wrongly so I told the teacher that he should show the class how to make websites using div tags and CSS. His reply was, “What are those?”