Meeting Mr Write

by Cassandra P Lewis

  “You look like you’ve done that before” I am surprised, men are normally terrified of newborns,

  “I told you, I love kids” he is cradling the boy and rocking him back and forth, my ovaries ache!

  “Do you have any?” why do I say things like that?

  “No Rosie, I’m always careful. I love kids, but I’m not Dad material” he looks almost disappointed as he looks down at the tiny baby in his arms. I pick up the girl and mirror him. We stand for a while, quiet but for the creak of the rocking chair.

  The snap of Pippa’s camera pulls me from my peaceful daze; I hadn’t even heard her come in. She’s in photographer mode, serious and determined, she is as maternal as me and I can see that she is passionate about the images that she is capturing here. Jackson lays the boy down and I follow suit, he smiles at the lady in the chair and leaves the room, Pippa looks at me and we both follow Jackson out into the garden.

  While Jackson says his goodbyes to Jean and the children, Pippa, Steve and I wait in the car, “well that was weird, first he seems over the moon to be around the kids and then when I took that photo of him with the baby, his mood completely changed” Pippa is worried that she’s upset Jackson in some way,

  Steve looks at Pippa in the rear view mirror “don’t worry about it gorgeous, JJ isn’t the hard man he likes to pretend he is and you saw a glimpse of that, he just probably feels a bit vulnerable” Jackson gets into the car and turns around to smile at me, it’s an embarrassed smile not his usual grin, but it’s a smile nonetheless, I return the gesture.

  On the way back to Ao Nang, Jackson asks Steve to drop us at the beach to watch the sunset, Pippa has made plans so wants to go back to the hotel, but I decide to go with Jackson, I am so intrigued by the difference in him today.

  We walk, quietly along the beach and stop in a quiet spot. Jackson sits and pats the sand for me to sit next to him,

  “Thank you, today was really lovely” I say as I look out to sea

  “I love that place, reminds me how small the world really is” he looks blankly ahead as he says the words.

  “Jackson, you’re a natural with children. Why don’t you want to be a Dad?” he glances towards me, “I just don’t want children, I don’t want a family. I told you Rosie, I don’t do commitment”

  “At some point though you might change your mind, you’re young, free and single now but”

  “Stop pushing this Rosie!” he interrupts

  “But, don’t you want someone to grow old with” I ask quietly

  He stands quickly and looks at me “why are you saying that? What did Steve say to you?” he’s almost shouting down at me like I’ve accused him of murder or something equally as terrible and I’m so confused, what does Steve know that could have made me ask that,

  “What? Nothing, I don’t know...” I look up at him, not sure what I’ve said to offend him so much,

  “No Rosie! I don’t want someone to grow old with. If I’m alone I can’t hurt anyone, or get hurt. I don’t believe that there’s someone for everyone, and those that do are idiots”

  “So you’re calling me an idiot” I stand and look into his eyes, I can’t figure out the emotion that I see in them,

  “Yeah maybe I am. I mean, your one, your only, your everything as you called him left you standing like a mug in a wedding dress” as the words leave his mouth he immediately looks like he regrets it but I am so angry, the sun is setting on a beautiful day and he’s being a complete prick and ruining it all. My mouth is open; shocked that he would use my heartbreak against me.

  “how dare you Jackson” I shake my head at him and walk away leaving him standing on the sand,

  “I’m sorry” he says quietly

  I turn to face him but continue to walk backwards “Fuck you James, you’re out of order” and I turn around and pick up my pace, I am so angry.

  “Rosie wait, I’m sorry, you’re right that was out of order” he has ran to catch me up and grabbed my arm to stop me in my tracks

  “I don’t know why I thought you could be different Jackson, you’re fucking dead inside, I’m certain of it” I’m standing directly in front of him, looking up into his eyes and he looks torn, like even he doesn’t know what he’s feeling

  “I’m just not the settling type Rosie, if you give all of yourself to someone, what’s left when they leave?” he smiles shyly, like he has it all figured out, but is embarrassed by it,

  “What if they don’t leave?” I take a step back and he steps toward me, grabbing my wrists gently,

  “Rosie, we’re in paradise, let’s just enjoy this. Come and have a drink with me” he pleads,

  “Are you kidding Jackson, after what you just said” he places his hand in the small of my back and pulls me in close,

  “Rosie, I apologise, please let me make it up to you” I consider it briefly, oh that bastard! He really is bloody charming but no way, what he said was really hurtful,

  “No Jackson, I’m going to go. Enjoy your evening. Don’t follow me!” I walk away and he must realise I’m serious because this time, he complies.

  I’m angry and I’m upset, and I soon realise that I’m hungry. I head into the first restaurant that I see,

  “Table for one”

  Chapter Fifteen

  “FUCK!” I shout, standing alone on the beach. How do I always manage to screw things up? I’m standing here like a complete moron, we had a brilliant day and I have to turn into a complete dick and ruin it all.

  Rosie was right; I was completely out of order with what I said. It’s not her fault that some twat that she thought she could trust broke her heart, and she didn’t have to tell me about it, but she did, and I used it as some sort of weapon against her. I need to find her and apologise. I call her but her phone is off, I leave a voicemail,

  “Rosie, I know, I’m a twat, but I just want to apologise. I was bang out of order. Call me”

  I walk up the sand and sit on the top step overlooking the beach and my mind is whirring. I don’t do commitment, I made that clear to her but she had to push me for a reason. I want to be angry at her, it’s none of her damn business, but I can’t. My outburst was far worse than her inquisitiveness and it’s me that I’m angry at.

  I need a drink so I head towards Presley’s. I stop to cross the road and my attention is drawn to the red head sitting at a small table at the front of a Chinese restaurant. I step inside and walk towards her.

  “I apologise” she looks up and me and I can’t tell if she’s upset, or angry, or both. “Rosie, I get defensive. People always joke about me being the perpetual bachelor and I laugh it off, but you were pushing and I don’t know, I just felt”… I don’t know what I felt,

  “Like you needed to protect yourself?” she looks up at me with a straight face and her voice is monotone. I sit down opposite her and she shuffles as though she is not comfortable in my company,

  “Look there’s something between us, I can’t deny it but it freaks me out. I made my decision a long time ago that I wouldn’t settle down. And I have a great life, I travel the world and have had a lot of fun with a lot of beautiful women” she glares at me as if to say get to the point James? “I’m not ready for more Rosie, I just can’t do it”

  “Jackson, I didn’t ask you for anything. You came on to me; you have made all of the moves. You made it clear where you stood on commitment and that was fine by me, each to their own Jackson. But right now on the beach, I wasn’t asking you for more, and wasn’t asking for anything” her voice is low and determined and I am embarrassed, she’s actually telling me off, in the middle of a restaurant. “I was just making conversation based on what I saw today. And for the record, I had already decided that nothing would happen between us, BECAUSE we want different things. You presume that because your gorgeous and charming, every woman you meet will jump into your bed”

  I know that I shouldn’t but I can’t help but smile, she glares at me again,

  “Why the fuck are you smili
ng?” she looks confused,

  “You think I’m gorgeous and charming” I grin,

  “Oh my god” she stands to leave “you’re unbelievable” she shakes her head

  “Rosie wait, please it was a joke”

  “You think everything is a joke Jackson, but I’m not. I won’t be made a fool of again, you’re not worth it” she walks away, she’s really making a habit of this,

  “Rosie, please” I call after her and she stops but doesn’t face me “One drink, let me explain and apologise and then if you still think I’m a dick, I’ll take you back to your hotel and you won’t hear from me again” she turns and looks at me and blows out a deep breath,

  “one drink, one” she’s holding up one finger just to be clear,

  “Ok” I call a tuk tuk over, if I only have one drink to impress her, I’m going to need the help of my view...

  Jackson leads me into the back of a tuk tuk and I sit, I’m so confused. He infuriates me so much but I can’t say no for some reason. This is just like me; I always fall for the wrong ones and end up getting hurt.

  “You ok?” he asks on the way back to his hotel

  “Not really, you’re so frustrating” I look at him and he looks down “one minute you’re charming , then you’re arrogant, then you’re some sort of saint and then you’re a complete pig” he looks at me and half smiles

  “I’m just not the settling down type Rosie; it doesn’t mean that I have no heart or that I want to leave a trail of broken ones behind me. I just” he exhales and leans his head back “I don’t want to give my world to someone, and then lose them ok?” he looks down to his hands in his lap “My parents were so in love and so happy and wanted nothing more than to raise their family and grow old together, but she left and now he’s on his own”

  Wow, I didn’t expect this “I’m sorry but not every relationship breaks down Jackson” I feel sympathy for him but surely a man like him has seen enough of the world to know that everyone is different,

  “It didn’t break down Rosie, she died” he looks at me, and just as quickly looks away again, “My Mum had cancer and it took her away from us before she was even fifty” I’m shocked, I feel guilty for the unkind thoughts that crossed my mind when he said she had left,

  “Jackson, I’m sorry” there’s nothing more to say, and the tuk tuk comes to a stop. Jackson pays and takes my hand to help me out and lead me into the hotel. The night receptionist smiles at us and wais as we walk through the lobby, and I wonder how many girls he has seen heading up to Mr James’s room.

  Jackson’s room is amazing, it has a view to die for and it is huge. He has a bar, a flat screen TV, and even a plunge pool…in his room! There is a seating area near the balcony doors, cream leather sofas and a coffee table in the middle.

  “What can I get you?” Jackson is walking toward the bar

  “Beer, please, if you have any?” I decide to head for the balcony, “do you mind if I go out?” I call over to him,

  “No, of course not” I open the doors and admire the view; it’s quite simply, stunning.

  I stand in the warm air looking out over the panorama and I am anxious, I shouldn’t be here. We want different things; it will end in tears, my tears.

  “Here” Jackson joins me on the balcony with two bottles of beer “Look, I don’t know why the flood gates opened back there. You’re the first girl that’s ever really questioned the way I live and it kind of messes with my head”

  “Don’t worry” I take the beer and sip, it’s cold and just what I need right now “I’m sorry that I made you feel uncomfortable”

  “No please, don’t apologise. I need to be put in my place every now and again. Besides, it was nice to admit that I’m kind of fucked up” I smile, maybe we’ve had a breakthrough.

  We stand in silence for a few moments before Jackson walks back into the suite and sits on of the sofas. “So Rosetta Penelope Alvez, there’s something I wanted to ask you?”

  “How the hell do you know my full name?” I smile and Jackson points to the dining table and I see my book, “You read my book?” I’m a little taken aback “My one, my only, my everything” I nod and look down, realising where he had found those words that he used so venomously against me only an hour ago, I shake it off, give him a chance to apologise,

  “I did, I actually enjoyed it, much to my surprise” he grins, that grin “but what I want to clear up is the sex”

  I look up at him “What?”

  “Well, the book is erm; well it’s kind of kinky Rosie! Quite hot to be honest.” He raises his eyebrow and looks at me, surprised. “Where did you get your inspiration for that? because I don’t imagine the sex life of an accountant to involve much role play and bondage”

  I smile and sit at the opposite end of the sofa to him, “Oh, you’d be surprised Mr James!” no way am I admitting that most of it came from Pippa, I’ll let him think what he likes.

  “Surprise me then” he slides toward me on the sofa and my heart leaps into my throat. He takes the bottle from my hand and puts it down on the table, then he stands and holds out his hand to me, I take it, why am I under his spell?

  Jackson leads me toward the bedroom and turns to face me, “you’re beautiful Rosetta, do you know that?” oh gosh, this is really happening. I look down and smile, Jackson puts his hand under my chin and lifts it so that we’re gazing into each other’s eyes, he pulls me close and kisses me. There is so much chemistry between us that I feel like my knees Jackson give way beneath me, I put my hands on Jackson’s chest and push him back, I need to get my breath. “Jackson wait, I need a drink” he looks surprised and a little confused but he smiles, “ok, you stay here, I’ll be back”

  Chapter Sixteen

  I sit on the edge of Jackson’s huge bed and try to get my head straight, if I do this, there is a good chance that I will get hurt, if I don’t, I’m always going to wonder what might have been. He’s taking forever and the time to think is making me more nervous. Where is he? I wonder if I have scared him off but just then he walks into the room with a tray, grinning from ear to ear.

  “Tequila? Really?” I smile at him

  “What?” he shrugs “I like the effect it has on you” he winks and walks toward the bed placing the tray in the middle and patting the mattress for me to sit. “ok Ms Alvez, let’s play a game”

  I sit cross legged on the bed and he is opposite mirroring me, he leans down to his bag at the side of the bed and pulls out a pen and some post it notes,

  “We each write the name of a famous person and stick in on the other’s forehead. We take it in turns to ask a question to figure out who is on our head. We can only ask yes or no questions, if you ask anything else, you drink. If you have an incorrect guess, you drink, if you can’t get the person in five guesses, you drink. Ok?” I nod, he pours.

  “Am I Mother Theresa?” I ask,

  “No!” He smiles “drink”

  “Marie Curie?”

  He laughs, “no, drink”

  “Oh god Jackson, I am too fuzzy to think straight, erm Florence Nightingale?

  “Sorry Alvez, drink!”

  We’ve been playing for about forty minutes and I’ve had so much fun. Watching each other becoming more and more drunk as we try and guess who is on the post it is so funny, watching Jackson’s frustration at not being able to figure out that he is currently Britney Spears is hilarious,

  “Ok, ok I quit, I can’t think of my own name let alone someone else’s” he takes the post it note from his head and looks at it, he laughs and so do I. I flop down on the bed and Jackson moves the tray to the side table. He looks at me and I inhale sharply, I can’t put this off any longer, the room is spinning but I can see Jackson clearly. He climbs back onto the bed beside me and brushes the hair from my face.

  He is leaning up on his elbow next to me, he strokes his fingers down my face and across my lips, he is watching me like he’s drinking me in and my breathing is shallow as I try and contain myself. />
  “You’re gorgeous Rosie, I want you so much” he leans down and kisses me, I close my eyes. The mix of the alcohol and the hormones rushing through my bloodstream cause my head to spin. I push him back and sit up,

  “Rosie, come on, don’t keep pushing me away!” I turn my head to look at him and smile, he comes in again for a kiss but we clash teeth and I pull away shocked. Jackson is mortified and I burst out laughing. I push him back onto the bed and lean over him,

  “I like my smile James and I’d like to keep my teeth, so I think I’d better take control” Jackson smiles and I lean down to kiss him. I hook my right leg over his and he runs his hand up the back of my thigh. Before I know it he pushes me over onto my back he’s on top of me, kissing me and running his hand up and down my side. We’re both drunk and clumsy, he places his hands at the side of my head so that he can push himself up,

  “Ahh” he pulls my hair by accident and I yelp

  “Shit, Rosie, sorry” he sits back on his heels so that he’s kneeling between my legs and laughs, shaking his head “I’m normally a lot smoother than this you know” I grin and pull at his shirt so that he is on top of me again, we’re frenzied. He pushes against me while his tongue explores mine and I can feel that he’s hard, the thought turns me on and I pull him to me even closer. Jackson pushes my top up and one side of my triangle bikini aside. The feeling is electric as he stops kissing me and takes my nipple into his mouth, I can’t help but moan and arch my back, I want more, the room is still spinning and my breathing is shallow, fast.

  “Oh Rosie, I want to fuck you so hard” Jackson says into my neck and I burst out into laughter, “What?” he kneels up between my legs and looks down at me horrified

  “I don’t know, it tickled my neck and it just sounded funny, we’re not in a porno Jackson” I giggle and Jackson looks at me, his mouth open, shocked as though I am ruining all his best moves.

  He smiles and shakes his head, “oh Rosie, this is not going to plan”.