“Jackson, it’s nice to see you again” I hold out a hand politely not wanting to alert Michael to our connection, he takes it and leans in to kiss me softly on the cheek, I am momentarily lost in the closeness and the scent of him, I miss him.
“The pleasure is all mine Rosetta. I believe I owe you my congratulations” Jackson looks at me, in fact he looks into me and I can feel his confusion and disappointment at my re-engagement to Michael “it’s great when two people can work out their issues in order to be together” I know he is talking about he and I and not my reunion with Michael, who is blissfully oblivious as he looks around the room for networking opportunities,
“Thank you Jackson” there’s not much more to say to him and I’m struggling to say anything at all, my heart aches for him, my body even more so, and he knows it, “it’s just a shame that some people are beyond help” I look into his eyes and Jackson nods his agreement and sips his champagne, he extends a hand to Michael and says goodnight, and then turn to me and looks me in the eyes, the same way that he has done so many times before,
“Goodbye Rosie” there’s sadness in his eyes and I get the impression that he is admitting defeat, he heads toward the exit and I watch him walking out of my life.
“Michael I have to use the bathroom, I’ll be back shortly” he doesn’t respond as he has already started a conversation with an older woman nearby, I go after Jackson, I’m ready to confront him, I think.
“Jackson wait” I call out and he stops in the foyer of the hotel where the party is being held “Don’t do that Jackson, don’t mess with my life like that” I am angry with him, he must have seen me enter with Michael and made a beeline for him the moment he was alone,
“Me mess with your life Rosie, you’re doing that pretty well yourself” he smirks sarcastically at me but there’s more to it than a lover scorned “Rosetta why are you degrading yourself with him? He humiliated you”
“Like you did Jackson?” I am angry and he looks wounded by my comment “you have no right to comment on my life, personal or otherwise” I look in his eyes and he shakes his head
“Does he know about your flings in Thailand? Me, the blonde on Phi Phi?” I look at him confused “I saw your Facebook profile Rosie!” I am wide eyed and let out a shocked laugh,
“So you’re a stalker now too. None that it is any of your fucking business Jackson but the blonde, is my gay brother in law” Jackson looks horrified at his mistake and moves closer to me,
“I’m sorry, I was beside myself Rosie you wouldn’t answer my calls or texts, I didn’t know what to do” he steps closer again and I’m powerless “you know how I feel about you Rosie, commitment is just hard for me” his words give me the strength that I need to push him away
“You knew I was falling for you and you and you made me think it was mutual. I asked you not to hurt me Jackson but you did, knowingly, and now you want me to trust that you won’t do it again?” I take another step back and Jackson lunges forward, taking my arms and pulling me close to him, he kisses me. My stomach somersaults at the connection that is still there between us and I kiss back briefly before I come to my senses and push him away.
I look in his eyes and see sorrow and remorse but I can’t trust it,
“No Jackson, no more” I shake my head and fight back the tears that are waiting to fall. I turn and walk back toward the ballroom, refusing to look back.
Chapter Thirty One
A few days have passed since the Christmas party, it’s nine thirty pm on a Friday and I am in bed with Michael. I am re-reading The Hobbit on my Kindle and Michael is engrossed in the financial times ‘I am twenty six and I am in bed before ten on a Friday reading, in full length pyjamas’ I am bored and head to kitchen to get a drink.
I pour a large glass of red wine and look around my kitchen as I sip, I don’t know how my life became this groundhog day, I take a large gulp of wine and throw my head back, hoping that someone will hear my prayer for an escape route, I open my eyes and spot the bottle of tequila on top of the fridge and I smile. My mind is taken back to Jackson’s hotel room, I remember his frustration at not being able to guess which celebrity he was and I giggle to myself. I decide to take the bottle into Michael and get him to play the game, I have no lime but all I really want to do is drink and have some fun, so I pick up two glasses and some post it notes from my desk on the way past and head into the bedroom
“Michael, let’s play a game” I feel mischievous as I hold up the bottle and glasses with a smile, Michael glance over the top of his newspaper and frowns,
“We’re a bit old for games Rosie” he continues to read
“Not ones that involve tequila!” I grin and jump onto the bottom of the bed laughing,
“Oh for Christ’s sake Rosie grow up. I do not want to play stupid games like we’re a couple of teenagers and I don’t expect my future wife to behave so immaturely. Get back into bed”. I sit for a moment open mouthed at Michael’s outburst and then smile, a huge happy smile,
“Thank you Michael, thank you so much” I stand and start to pack Michael’s things into his overnight bag,
“Rosie, stop it. What are you doing?” I laugh and continue with my mission to rid my home of this idiot,
“That is exactly what I was just asking myself, what the hell am I doing? I don’t love you, in fact, I don’t even like you. Get out of my house Michael”
“Rosie, it’s the middle of the night!” he looks mortified,
“It’s not even ten you moron! Get out; I don’t want you near me, GET OUT!! I am like a woman possessed as I chase him out of my flat in his pyjamas, throwing his things out with him I finish by throwing my engagement ring at him and slamming the door. I lean against the closed door for a moment and breathe deeply, laughing to myself then I run to my bedroom and find my phone, I find the name in my contacts and hit call,
“Rafe, I need you, I’ve kicked him out”
Despite his promise that he wouldn’t back me up anymore, the news that I had kicked Michael into touch was music to Rafe’s ears and he left immediately to get to me. I have been sitting in my living room listening to Michael cry and call for me to let him back in for almost half an hour when I hear him try and plead with my brother.
“Rafe, thank god, she’s crazy! Maybe you can talk some sense into her!” I open the door to let Rafe in and Michael stands, hopeful,
“Michael, leave! You were the worst mistake of my life the first time around. I’m not going to make it again. You are boring and arrogant and my god you are bloody awful in bed so will you just leave” Michael looks dumbfounded and hurt but I can’t feel guilty “oh, Michael” he looks up at me “don’t forget your financial times, I’m sure the two of you will be very happy together!” I step back into my flat and Rafe closes my door as I stand with my hand over my mouth in shock at my bravery, I laugh and my brother wraps his arms around me and kisses the top of my head,
I’ve missed Rafe and enjoy the embrace but feel guilty, like I don’t deserve it “Rafe, I am so sorry. I fucked up!” I wrap my arms tightly around his waist and relish in his apparent forgiveness,
“Water under the bridge RoRo, I’m really proud of you tonight” I look up at my brother and smile at his admission, he releases me and heads into the bedroom,
“It’s like a bombsite Rosie” Rafe laughs, “typical fiery red head” he spots the tequila and smiles at me “time to celebrate little sis.”
Rafael calls Pippa and Matthew and fills them in on the evening’s events while I make myself slightly more presentable, they arrive together within twenty minutes of his call and greet me with applause and loving hugs. Rafael pours each of us the first on many shots and raises his glass, “to freedom”
It’s finally the day of my book launch, almost two weeks have passed since I finally grew some balls and kicked Michael out of my life for good and I feel happy and strong. I haven’t heard from Jackson and in a way that hurts, but I told him to leave me alone, so I can’t
be upset that he has.
It is pouring with rain and I am certain that nobody will turn up for the launch, but I’m really proud of my work regardless. Emails have been sent to all on the online Rosie Alvez mailing list and the launch has been well advertised in Parker’s, all we have to do now is wait and see.
I arrive at parker’s early and am greeted by the manager, I have shopped here for years and got to know her quite well, she thanks me for choosing her store over Waterstone’s as Francesca would have preferred. After a coffee and a chat I head out of the staff room and onto the shop floor, I am hit by a room full of people all there for me. They applaud as I step towards the podium and I have to take a moment to compose myself,
“Wow, thank you so much for coming out on a day like today for me” I smile as I look down at the sea of expectant faces “I am truly touched and I just hope you like the book”
I read a chapter from the book, a taster that I believe sells the essence of the story and as I approach the end I become anxious about what the response will be. I needn’t have worried when my work is met with applause; I cannot help but smile as I thank my audience for their time.
I remain at the podium for a short while longer to answer some questions from my fans before I move to a nearby table to conduct a book signing session. Sitting at a desk I meet a line of the first people to buy ‘Footprints to Happiness’, I am truly over the moon at their unwavering support of my work and am more than happy to chat and sign their copies of the book.
I am looking down at the table for a brief moment when a copy of ‘Thailand: How to get by on a Smile’ is placed in front of me, I catch my breath and look up to see Jackson standing in front of me, half smiling. Not knowing what to do in front of an audience I open the front cover of the book and write ‘not here’ before moving onto the next person in the queue.
The rest of the signing passes in a blur and when I finish I stand and spot Jackson standing at the back of the shop.
“Rosie, can we grab a drink, please?” Jackson seems a shadow of his former cocky self and I am intrigued to hear what he has to say but today has been a great day for me and I don’t want to ruin it now.
“Jackson no. I’m sorry but I thought we’d moved on” I haven’t and from the look of him neither has he, but I cannot go there, not today.
“You may have done Rosie but I can’t, at least not until you hear me out, let me explain why I did what I did” he practically begs me to let him explain,
“I don’t want you to explain Jackson. I’ve done a lot of soul searching and I need to just move forward and be with someone who treats me how I deserve to be treated”.
Jackson laughs sarcastically and responds “Like your darling fiancé?”
“I’m not with Michael anymore Jackson” I walk out of the shop but he follows calling after me to stop, I don’t stop walking but call out my response
“I can’t do it Jackson, I can’t let you charm me into thinking you’re sorry. You can’t commit, you were clear about that and I’ve accepted it now. Please just stop.”
Jackson calls after me “Wait please, Rosetta let me try” I stop but don’t turn to face him, “I think I’m in love with you” tears fall from my eyes in an instant and I shake my head and keep walking, leaving Jackson standing in the rain after his confession.
I walk into Rafe’s café and feel like I’m going to collapse,
“Jesus Rosie” Rafe runs over to catch me “What’s happened?” I cry as my brother pulls me into an embrace and then leads me over to the window seat. I tell Rafe about the launch and the signing and then all about Jackson and what has just happened between us, I feel weak and confused, Rafe reaches across the table and holds my hand,
“Maybe he meant it?” Rafe has been that guy, the one in the relationship that fucks up and I think he is starting to feel for Jackson,
“Even if he did, he’s going to hurt me, he can’t help it Rafe”
Rafe goes away and comes back with a hot chocolate for me, he has customers to serve and I need time to think. He leaves me to sit watching the rain while he continues his work in the café, throwing a look of concern my way every now and again.
I watch as the rain hits the window and runs downward, collecting droplets on its way and I’m hypnotised, I reminisce about getting caught in the rain in Thailand with Jackson. He kissed me as it poured and it was the most romantic moment of my life, I knew right then that he was falling for me and that was when I really let my guard down. I’m brought back by somebody dropping a coffee cup and reach for my phone. I text Jackson, ‘we can talk, meet me tomorrow morning at Rafael’s, 8am’
He responds almost immediately ‘thank you Rosie, I’ll be there x’ I pray that I don’t regret it.
Chapter Thirty Two
I wake the next morning at four am, I can’t sleep, Rosie has finally agreed to meet with me and I’m so nervous. I have to convince her that I am right for her, how I’m going to do that though, I haven’t yet figured out.
I live five minutes’ walk away from Rafael’s so was surprised when Rosie picked there to meet, but pleased that she picked anywhere at all. Its ten to eight and I head out towards Rafael’s. As I push the button for the pedestrian crossing I notice Rosie’s red hair in the window of the café and my stomach does back flips ‘Man up James’ I tell myself as I cross the road, I don’t know how she has done it but Rosie has got me on my knees waiting for her next move, I’m at her mercy completely.
I walk into the café and try not to appear so nervous, I walk over to Rosie’s table and she looks up at me, her eyes melt me instantly, even with the anxiety that’s visible in them,
“Thank you for agreeing to see me” she doesn’t say anything but inhales deeply and gestures for me to sit in the chair opposite.
A waiter comes over to take my order, he looks at Rosie before he walks away and I can’t help but feel annoyed at the rudeness, he didn’t even make eye contact with me, I feel jealous when I notice Rosie smile at him and then realise that he is probably her type, he’s tall and dark haired like me, and I suppose he’s a good looking guy, I realise that time is of the essence if I’m going to convince her that it’s me she wants, as she’s obviously getting interest from elsewhere. I shoot the waiter a look that I hops tells him to back off and return my gaze to Rosie who looks out of the window with a shy smile.
“It’s been raining for days, we’ll need to develop gills if it carries on” I get the reaction I was after when Rosie laughs and looks me in the eyes but when she looks down toward the table and bites her lip nervously I worry what is coming next,
“You hurt me Jackson” she looks into her coffee cup and stirs repeatedly “I thought something special was growing between us, and I trusted it” she is looking down at the cup like she’s embarrassed by her feelings and this is my chance,
“There was, there still is Rosetta” Rosie blushes when I use her full name but we’re interrupted by the waiter bringing my coffee, he places down my cup abruptly and smiling at Rosie
“Obvious much?” Rosie laughs at my comment which infuriates me, but then she smiles at the waiter who smiles back and blows her a kiss, I see red and push my chair back to go and have a word, Rosie stops me,
“Jackson that’s my brother, that’s Rafael” she looks at me apologetically and I scratch the back of my head I’m embarrassed and quiet for a moment, I laugh and look out of the window, shaking my head, “He just doesn’t want so see me get hurt again, he’s seen it more times than he should have” I look into her eyes and reaching across the table, put my hands on hers, she doesn’t pull away,
“What can I do to prove to you how sorry I am?” I am desperate for the chance,
“You can start by explaining why you screwed someone else” I lean back in my chair and take a deep breath, I look down at Rosie’s empty cup,
“Ok, but we’ll need more coffee”
I walk over to the counter to order a pot of coffee, Rafael is courteous but caut
ious and I understand why,
“I never meant to hurt her you know, I need to make it up to her” I hope he understands where I’m coming from and when he looks me directly in the eyes I think he does,
“We’ve all fucked up Jackson, and I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt this once. But she’s my little sister and I’d do time for her, you need to know that” I’m grateful for the benefit of the doubt and try to ignore the warning,
“I will never do anything to hurt her again, I just hope I can convince her of that” I hold out my hand to Rosie’s brother, he seems to be sort of on my side and god knows I could use an ally, I’m relieved when he takes my hand and curls his lips into a sort of half smile, I pay and head back to the table.
Rosie eyes me curiously as I approach and the confused look on her face makes me smile, she is really cute when she frowns,
“I haven’t forgiven you yet Jackson, I don’t know why you’re smiling” she doesn’t look at me when she speaks but there is an element of humour in her voice,
“Yet?” I push my luck, testing the waters; thankfully she smiles and starts to refill her cup.
We sit for a moment, drinking the fresh hot coffee and enjoying just looking at each other for the first time in weeks,
“I’ve missed you Rosie, you knock me off my feet” I can’t stop the words; she needs to know how I feel, “I just, I’m a fuck up. I made a decision a long time ago that I would never fall for anyone and you turned all that on its head. I got scared and I hit the self-destruct button”
Meeting Mr Write Page 13
