All Wrapped Up: An Urban Fantasy Adventure (Werewolves vs. Mummies Book 2)

by J. A. Cipriano

  I came down on top of its body with all the force my werewolf bulk could muster. The creature’s legs buckled and snapped with a sound like breaking twigs. Its carapace smacked into the ground, shattering beneath me like a watermelon filled with gelatinous yellow goo.

  The odor of sulfur filled my nostrils so strongly I could barely breathe, and I gagged as I scrambled backward, worried its foul ichor would dissolve my flesh like acid. Thankfully, that didn’t happen.

  I took a deep breath, my eyes still watering as I turned toward Khufu’s body. Fifteen more of the creatures surrounded him. They regarded me curiously as though they couldn’t quite figure out what I was doing there. I had half a mind to try and run away, but what good would that do? Besides, I wasn’t sure I wanted to eke out an existence in the stomach of a giant monster.

  My muscles tensed as I made ready to throw myself into their throng and flail with werewolf abandon when the middle one stepped past the others and knelt down. Its spindly legs folding up beneath it like an accordion.

  “Hello,” it warbled into my brain. I got sort of dizzy as its head moved outward from its body on a long stalk that hadn’t been visible before. Had it been retracted inside its carapace? “Can you understand me?”

  When I didn’t immediately respond, it turned toward the others and sort of shrugged. They shrugged back. “Maybe it’s a baby?” one of them asked, the sound like a trumpet blast in my brain.

  “Maybe it’s just dumb,” the creature furthest to my left replied as it stepped past the others, examining me with its magenta eyes. “I say we eat it.” Those words made a chill run down my spine. If there was one thing I certainly did not want, it was to be eaten by a bunch of giant spiders.

  The others nodded as I got slowly to my feet and held my hands out in front of me, palms out.

  “Sorry,” I said aloud and all of their eyes fixed on me at once. It got eerily quiet as they watched. “Erm… well, see here’s the thing, my kind don’t usually speak mind to mind so it threw me off…”

  “Nonsense,” the lead bug said, its voice coming out like a sort of terrified squeak that grated on the back of my brain. “We can tell you have another you speak with mind to mind.”

  “That’s different,” I replied, waving my hand dismissively. Then a thought struck me. How did they know about my wolf? Could they sense it? That thought didn’t make me happy to say the least.

  “Okay,” one of the middle ones said. “What are you, and why are you here?”

  “It’s after the children,” another hissed.

  “Look what it did to Frank,” another chided.

  “Wait,” I said, holding my hands in the time out sign even though I wasn’t sure they’d understand the gesture. “That one is named Frank?” I pointed to the crushed spider.

  “Yes,” they said at once, and it was like a cacophony of horn blasts in my mind.

  “Okay…” I mumbled not sure what to do with that. “Um what are the rest of your names, and also sorry about Frank.”

  “Don’t be. He was sort of a dick,” the one in front chirped. “You may call me Bob.” He turned, pointing to the left one who had called me dumb. “That’s Peter.”

  “Pete’s fine,” Pete added, nodding at me like we were old friends.

  “The others are Tom, Marty, Al, Jefferson, Steve, Mimi, Peggy, Marcy, Darcy, Jimbo, and Ron.”

  “Okay…” I mumbled for the second time in as many minutes. I wasn’t quite sure how I was supposed to keep over ten identical looking spiders straight in my head. “Those are kind of odd names.”

  “They aren’t our actual names,” Pete said, shaking his head like he still thought I was dumb. “Those are your mental equivalents of our names. Our names are unpronounceable to you.”

  “So you pulled names from my head and gave them to yourselves?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. It seemed kind of… invasive.

  “In a word, yes,” Jimbo said, nodding. He had been the one who thought I had been a baby, by the way.

  “I feel like my brain is going to explode,” I said, shaking my head.

  “We get that a lot,” said Peggy.

  Marty elbowed her with one spindly appendage. “No we don’t. He’s the first of his kind we’ve ever seen.”

  “Why do you always have to be so particular?” Peggy squealed, glaring at Marty.

  “Oh my freaking god, I’m going crazy,” Jefferson said, stepping away from the others and rubbing his multifaceted eyes with his two front appendages. “Will you two quit arguing?”

  “You can say that again,” Bob added, moving up to me and placing his clawed foot on my shoulder. Imagine having a toad try to comfort you and it was sort of like that. “Now Thes, we have a small issue. See our job is to move the bodies from over there.” He pointed back behind me with another leg. “To over there.” He pointed to the cliff as Steve and Mimi began dragging Frank’s corpse over to the edge. They tossed him off the cliff with about as much concern as I’d have given an empty milk jug.

  “So what’s the problem?” I asked, raising one furry eyebrow as I made a mental note to trust these spiders a hell of a lot less far than I could throw them.

  “Well, I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume you don’t want us doing that with your comrade over there.” He nodded toward Khufu, his giant spider head bobbing in the air like he was part bird.

  “Um, yeah, please don’t do that,” I replied, wondering if I should grab Khufu’s arm or something just to make sure they didn’t try.

  “Hence our problem.” Bob nodded to me. “The beast will be satisfied for a while with Frank, but not particularly long. He doesn’t much care for us because we’re mostly goo and chitin.”

  “And if you don’t feed him?” I asked as a bad feeling settled in my stomach.

  “Then this chamber fills with acid, and we all die.” Bob shrugged like it wasn’t a very important concern even though it sure seemed like it was to me. “You guys need to escape before that happens.”

  “Wait, you’re going to help us escape?” Surprise filled my voice as I spoke.

  “Yes. The beast knows you’re down here. He can feel you moving around. If you’re no longer down here, he’ll just assume he already ate you. He’s not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed if you catch my drift.” Bob looked at me, and I got the sense he was smirking. “You follow?”

  “I think so,” I said, rubbing my face with my hand. To be honest, I wasn’t quite sure I knew what he was talking about, but if it kept me from being dissolved in acid, I was all for it. “So how do we get out of here?”

  “The only way out is to enter Imhotep’s lair down there.” The creature pointed over the cliff again. “But that is not without danger. It is guarded by the seven, each of whom is more deadly than the last.”

  “Seven, is that all?” I replied, swallowing back my concern. Seven seemed like a hell of a lot, especially given Khufu’s current condition.

  “Well and Imhotep, but he’s out right now,” the spider began moving toward the cliff. “You should thank your lucky stars for that because he, like Frank, is kind of a dick.”

  Chapter 4

  The trip down was, how can I put this delicately, uneventful. Why? Because the spiders wrapped Khufu and me up in a web and carried us down on their backs. It was a little disconcerting because acid bubbled and popped in the black tarry pit below us, but hey, nothing is perfect right?

  After only a few minutes, they stopped on a narrow ledge with a solid gold door the size of a garage door embedded into the side of the creature. Throbbing inflamed veins spread out along the flesh surrounding the door, giving me the impression it wasn’t particularly awesome to have a massive entrance implanted in your esophagus.

  Anyway, after the spiders hummed a weird tune that sort of reminded me of the itsy bitsy spider, though I’m not sure why, the door swung open to reveal a tunnel of effervescent yellow flesh. The flesh inside looked ragged and raw, and for the
first time, I wondered if this tunnel was manmade. The thought made me shiver.

  Pete gestured for me to enter, and slinging Khufu over my shoulder in his webbed sack, I stepped inside. The door slammed shut behind me with a whoosh, leaving me trapped alone in the corridor by myself though I guess technically, I had an unconscious mummy for company. The ground beneath my feet oozed and pulsed as I padded forward, wishing not for the first time, every inch of the place wasn’t covered in saliva. At least, I hoped it was saliva…

  I stared longingly at the door, sort of sad none of the spiders had wanted to come with me, but evidently their place was outside in the stomach of a giant monster. Oh well, whatever made them happy.

  I turned back around and made my way forward until I came to a sheer drop off. About half a meter past the edge was what looked like a ruby-colored stepping stone. I squinted, trying to see beyond it, but no such luck.

  I exhaled and hoping I wasn’t making a huge mistake, leapt onto the ruby. I hit it dead center and didn’t lose my balance, which was good because the ruby was only a couple feet in diameter. As I shifted Khufu’s weight over my shoulder, an emerald stone appeared a few feet in front of me, but the pathway remained otherwise dark and gloomy despite the glowing yellow walls. It sort of reminded me of walking through an unlit hallway as the lights came on one by one.

  “Well, here goes nothing,” I told the unconscious pharaoh and jumped.

  I touched down on the emerald, and this time, a platform of jade and ruby illuminated about a hundred few feet above my head. I stared at it, trying to figure out how the hell I was going to get up to it when a braided gold rope ladder tumbled downward. It came to a rest with a thud right next to me.

  The ladder seemed sturdy enough when I tugged on it, so why not try it? I put all my weight on the thing and began the tedious, one armed climb upward. It was a lot harder than I’d thought it would be, let me tell you, but just as my muscles turned to jelly, I put my claw on the jade platform and hauled myself onto its ruby surface. I lay there panting, my tongue lolling out of my mouth and smacking on the disgusting ground as I did so. Let me just say this right now. It was disgusting. Think old socks and garbage. Don’t ask me why I know what those things taste like either. It’s a werewolf thing.

  A shadow fell over me, shrouding me in darkness as I started to get up. I turned my head toward it and saw a vaguely familiar man who looked like he had to be at least a hundred.

  “Fancy meeting you here, old chap,” he replied, pulling off his top hat and swinging into a bow that made his monocle flash in the light. He straightened and rubbed his pencil-thin mustache between the thumb and forefinger of his left hand as he leaned on his bejeweled cane with his other hand. “We don’t get many werewolves in this part of town.”

  He brushed the lapels of his navy blue suit jacket with the knuckles of his left hand before reaching out toward me. “Let me help you up, and then we can begin. But I should warn you, I’m tougher than I look.” He gripped my hand with enough strength to make my bones creak. I tried to squeeze back, but it was hard enough to keep from crying out.

  “Thanks,” I wheezed when he released me, and I barely resisted the urge to wring out my hand. If he had a grip like that, I wasn’t exactly confident in a test of strength, which was pretty sad considering how old he looked.

  “Don’t mention it, but you really should work on your handshake. Your grip is a bit weak.” He smiled at me in a ‘don’t worry, it’s not that big of a deal way.’ “Now, do you know the rules for our little contest?”

  “Um… no.” I shrugged sheepishly. “I don’t even know what our contest entails.”

  The man stared at me for a long time. I think he was trying to decide whether or not I was serious. After what felt like hours, he rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Something tells me you really don’t have any idea what we do here.” He gestured around the tiny platform as he said the last word.

  “Uh… yeah. I have no idea at all. I was brought here by some spiders and stuff.” I dumped Khufu unceremoniously on the platform and pulled the sack off of him. “He’s the one who knows what we were supposed to do in here.” I nudged Khufu with my toe, but he barely moved.

  “Is that the Khufu?” the man asked, kneeling down over the newly revealed mummy and pulling a magnifying glass from one of his pockets. “Magnificent specimen. It looks like it has hardly aged at all.” He glanced up at me, eyes beaming. “The Egyptians around here sure know how to preserve a body.”

  He reached out and poked Khufu’s nose with one spindly finger. “It’s almost like he’s still alive.”

  “Boo!” Khufu cried, sitting up in that stiff as a board way I’d seen in a million horror movies. The man stumbled backward, landing hard on his butt and scurrying away. His magnifying glass left behind as he scrambled to his feet and brought his hands up like he was an old fashioned English boxer.

  “Fiend! Come on! I’m not afraid of a little fisticuffs,” the man shouted, his face suddenly beet red.

  Khufu burst out laughing as he got to his feet and sauntered over to the man, palms out. “Perhaps we can discuss this like gentleman?”

  The man narrowed his eyes and swung a jab into the air. The movement was so fast, I felt the wind move even from where I stood behind Khufu. Part of me wanted to throttle the mummy for scaring the guy because, well, he hadn’t really done anything to me. Then again, for all I knew, he was going to turn into a thirty-foot tall monster with radioactive dragon breath.

  “The only thing we’ll be doing like gentlemen is fighting.” The man tossed another jab through the air, stopping just shy of Khufu’s nose as he danced lightly on the balls of his feet despite wearing what looked like black leather dress shoes. “Put up your dukes.”

  “Look, I’d really rather not,” Khufu said just before he roundhouse kicked the guy in the face like an Egyptian Jean Claude van Damme. The gentleman staggered sideways, his top hat falling off his head and hitting the ground with a rather heavy thud. Khufu followed up with a barrage of punches, peppering the man’s torso as he tried to cover up.

  The gentleman reeled as another devastating kick caught him in the solar plexus. It was followed by an upward elbow. He teetered backward along the edge of the platform, arms shooting out, trying to grasp at the air for balance as Khufu smiled. Then he flicked the guy between the eyes.

  The man tumbled backward off the platform as Khufu turned toward me and bowed low. “Admit it,” he said, rising and giving me a small salute. “That was freaking awesome.”

  “I didn’t know you knew Kung Fu,” I replied, staring open-mouthed. It had been awesome, but I wasn’t about to tell Khufu that.

  “I know.” He picked up the leaden top hat and glanced at it for a second before flinging it over the edge. “It’s an undead thing. When we awaken, we all know martial arts, though I’m not sure how.”

  “I thought that was just a vampire thing?” I asked, quirking an eyebrow at him.

  Khufu smirked, and as he took a step toward me, his torso exploded into a fountain of blood and gore which was a little weird because he was a mummy. Then again, he had bled like crazy when Apep had popped his head off a few weeks back. Khufu fell forward, toppling to his knees, and through the hole in his chest, I saw a jet black hornet the size of a small car wearing the black top hat Khufu had just tossed over the edge.

  “Now,” it said, buzzing past the fallen pharaoh and staring at me with its crimson, multifaceted eyes. “Let’s fight like gentleman.”

  It came at me stinger first, and I dodged to the left as poison spattered across the stone. The smell of burning plastic filled my nose as I lunged for the flying insect, swinging my claws at the creature’s torso. With little apparent effort, the wasp darted away before spinning and coming at me again.

  I crouched down as it approached, and at the last second, launched myself into the air like I’d done with the spider. It worked too… sort of. I landed on its back as its razor-sharp wings cut into me, fille
ting my flesh and spilling my blood over its back. I howled in pain as rage filled me, tingeing my vision scarlet.

  I grabbed hold of the stupid bug by the base of each wing and pulled. My werewolf muscles screamed with the effort as my claws bit into the creature. The wasp screeched a high-pitched keen that made the hair on the back of my neck stand straight up.

  Unfortunately, I’d forgotten one thing. By holding the wings and trying to tear them off, they no longer beat at the air, and well, held us aloft. We plummeted from the sky, falling straight past the platform and into the dark abyss beyond. I jerked hard upward, pulling with all my might as I got my feet under me, my toenails digging into the creature’s carapace. Blue goo spilled forth, covering my feet in the sticky substance.

  One of the wings burst free in a spray of slime that covered my chest and arms in foul-smelling ichor. I released my hold on the creature as I leapt from its back, using all my strength to propel me through the air. I smacked into the wall. Stars shot past my eyes and began to slide down the fleshy, yellow surface. I gouged my claws into the side as hard as I could.

  Slick, yellow blood flowed from the wounds in the wall as I hung there, nails dug into the wall as the broken wasp disappeared from view into the darkness below. I rested there for a moment before pushing upward, using my talons to carve handholds into the fleshy cavern face.

  Chapter 5

  When I made it back to the platform, I found Khufu sitting Indian-style with his khopesh lying flat across his knees like he was some kind of meditating monk. Six animal-headed corpses surrounded around him.

  “Nice of you to drop by,” he said, raising one bushy eyebrow at me as I collapsed onto the jade ground, my chest heaving and my muscles reduced to quivering bowls of Jell-O.