What he did not know was that she had absently claimed his mat at bedtime, then quickly gone to her cousin's. She sighed heavily and rolled to her back, staring up into darkness. How would she ever get to sleep knowing Blazing Star was within a few feet of herl
His senses keen, he knew she was awake and restless. What was worse was the fact that he also knew Sun Cloud was deeply entrapped by slumber. He did not even stir when a violent thunderstorm attacked the lands. But Miranda jumped and gasped at several bolts of lightning which struck too close to camp, then shook the earth with rumbling echoes.
"Do not be afraid, Tamaha," he whispered tenderly across the dark span which separated them, telling her he was also awake.
She was too unsettled by the turbulent weather to recall how angry she was with him. And it was easier to be annoyed when he was not so near. Perhaps he had responded from jealousy and pride this afternoon. Surely he would be furious to find her the captive of another, if he truly cared about her. And surely under those circumstances, he would be embarrassed by their reaction to each other in public? When the winds whipped at the teepee and heavy rain poured upon it, she asked softly, "Are the storms always this bad?"
"When they come so late," he replied. "The rivers and lands are thirsty; they require much rain to refresh them."
Miranda hid her face as another streak. of lightning seemed to invade the teepee itself. Blazing Star went to her side and pulled her into his arms. "It will be this way for a long time. Sleep, Tamaha. I will guard you from all harm."
When he made no romantic overtures, but simply offered her the comfort of his arms, she relaxed and nestled against him. He stretched out on Bloody Arrow's mat and curled her against his side. He did not move or talk again. He felt her body going limp and her respiration becoming steady. Soon she was asleep in his arms. As if feeling completely safe, nothing more troubled her.
Just before dawn, he eased from her side and returned to his mat. He was baffled by the fact that he had slept next to the most beautiful and desirable woman he had ever known without making love to her. There was a strange contentment and great pleasure in being near her. He had not felt such emotions before. How could a smile warm him? How could a touch make him happy? How could a voice stir his soul? How could a gaze steal his thoughts? If such was true, what would it be like to make love to her? How could he lose her? Yet, how could he keep her here in the face of such death and destruction?
Agony chewed at him. Sun Cloud was right. She must not remain here. If he enticed her to fall in love with him, each of them.would be hurt. It would be easier for both to forget if nothing happened between them. She was so trusting and innocent, so vulnerable to the feelings he inspired within her. To reject her would be the fiercest battle he had ever fought, but he knew it would be wrong to take her to his mat and to love her wildly and freely, then force her to leave him. It would be cruel to encourage her love and desire when there could be no more between them. She must be sent away.
He slipped from the teepee. He would have to find the strength and courage to resist her. If he were right, why did this unselfish act torment him? The white man was like a mighty eagle, its talons ever closing around his people, preparing to rip them to bloody pieces. So many battles and lives had been lost. The white man's forces and weapons were many and powerful. One by one, they were destroying or conquering each tribe. No matter how smart or brave the Indians were, they could not last forever against such an enemy.
He had never thought to see the sun when his lands were owned by foes. He had never envisioned such crushing defeats, such wanton slaughter of his kind. Never had he dreamed the sun would come when he doubted the survival of a single Indian. But the white butchers were slaying women and children to annihilate the entire race. Why was the Great Spirit allowing such evil to breed, to grow larger? Why must he find his true love when it was too late and dangerous to claim her?
It rained all morning, forcing Miranda to remain inside the teepee. To pass the time, her grandfather taught her a game played with small pebbles. Sun Cloud napped for several hours during the afternoon, and Miranda stood at the teepee entrance, gazing out at the teepees in the first circle. She wondered where Blazing Star had gone; she wondered why he had not returned for their talk.
He had confessed he was glad she was here. If she inspired such "conflict" in him, why didn't he confront her and discuss his feelings, feelings she shared? He had not gone hunting, and there was no council meeting. She remembered again how he had held her and comforted her. She glanced in all directions but could find no trace of him. She instinctively knew he was avoiding her. But why?
The evening meal came and went without Blazing Star's return. She wanted to question his absence but was too proud to do so. What was he trying to prove? Was this some joke or test? Why waste such precious moments? It took her a long time to fall asleep that night. She realized, as she knew he must, there was only one day left of her visit.
When he was certain she was asleep, Blazing Star sneaked into the teepee and slept restlessly. He was up and slipping out at dawn when she saw him. She sat up and cleared her throat, the noise drawing his attention. When he turned, she motioned for him to come over to her. Concealing his love and turmoil, he scowled as if annoyed by her and her request, then shook his head and left.
Miranda stared at the waving flap. Why was he doing this to her? He was making it clear he did not want to speak with her or see her. Sadness gripped her heart, and panic tugged at her mind. She would be leaving in the morning. Was that why he did not want to start anything between them? That speculation warmed her.
At rest time that afternoon, Blazing Star was still keeping his distance. Once when he sighted her watching him, he began flirting with a lovely Indian maiden. From her tortured expression, he knew she understood his message. He could not allow her to linger here, not after learning of the white war council.
While her grandfather slept, Miranda left the teepee to walk near the stream. She found a lovely spot and sat on a rock studying the newly green foliage. She was about to continue her stroll when Blazing Star came into sight. She called his name. He glanced her way then headed in the opposite direction.
Miranda jumped up and raced after him. They needed to have a talk. He owed her an explanation. There was no time for modesty or manners. She caught up with him, but he quickened his pace to prevent their confrontation. She ran forward again, grabbing his arm. She panted breathlessly, "Why don't you talk to me? I'll be leaving tomorrow, and we have so much to say to each other. Why are you avoiding me? Why are you being so distant?"
"There is nothing to say. Return to your people, Miranda. You do not belong here. You are more white than Indian," he stated coldly.
"But, why?" she beseeched him. "I thought we were friends," she murmured in a quavering voice. He had called her Miranda. He was clearly rejecting her. He was trying to hurt her. She must know why.
"If you wish to be my friend, do not chase me as a she-dog with mating lust. When a woman steals my eye, I will chase her. Why do you trap a man who wishes to escape?" he asked insultingly, hoping to encourage her to leave, for this necessary game was hurting both of them.
His words were as physical blows. Tears welled in her golden brown eyes, and her face became the color of fire. "You need not be cruel, Blazing Star. I've never chased any man, and I surely won't start with one who despises me and deceives me. I didn't mean to give you the impression I was the whore you called me. But I can understand why you would think such evil of me after the way I behaved when we first met. I don't need or want you as my friend. I won't inflict my repulsive company on you again or trouble you further," she told him then fled.
Before Miranda reached the teepee, Tom Fletcher met her, saying he needed to escort her back today as he was leaving on a scouting mission tomorrow at noon. This timely rescue was welcomed, and she told him she was ready to leave and would fetch her belongings. When she entered the teepee, her grandfather was still a
sleep. She decided it would be better to leave without awakening him, for he might read her turmoil, and she wanted the painful matter between her and her tormenting love kept private. She took the small bundle of her possessions. She wondered who could give her farewell message to her grandfather. She could not ask Sitting Bull or Crazy Horse, as both had left camp. Whom could she trust to be kind and gentle?
Yellow Bird, wife of Fox Eyes, was the perfect choice. She took one last look at her grandfather, love and sadness filling her. It was best to avoid a painful good-by, and it was vital to avoid Blazing Star. Perhaps Fate had kindly provided this gentle departure. She left the teepee, clutching the little burden under her arm. She explained to Yellow Bird why she wished to leave secretly, to spare her grandfather's feelings and hers. The woman did not concur, but agreed to pass along the message when it was too late to follow or stop her. Yellow Bird sensed there was more to her hasty and furtive departure, but she did not feel she had the right to pry.
Miranda and Tom walked to the edge of camp to mount their horses and ride away. She suppressed the anguish which plagued her. She told herself she was doing the right thing for everyone. She wished Blazing Star had remained a mystery, a lovely fantasy. They set out in the direction of the tree-lined gully where she had awaited the response from her grandfather a few days past. She would never regret riding brazenly into his camp. It was done; her quest was over and her dreams had vanished. Perhaps she would visit her grandfather briefly again before returning to Virginia.
For two hours, Yellow Bird fretted over the girl's departure. Finally, she could restrain herself no longer. She went to find Blazing Star, as she dreaded to tell Sun Cloud of her part in this matter. When the warrior heard her tale, he told her not to repeat it to Sun Cloud, that he would explain Tamaha's actions. It was too late to catch up with her, to change her mind.
After repeating the astonishing tale to Sun Cloud, Blazing Star revealed that he was going after her. He said he would sneak to her cabin during the night and speak with her, to make sure she was home safely and nothing was troubling her. Sun Cloud could tell that the warrior was concerned for his grand daughter. It almost seemed as if Blazing Star suspected another motive behind her secret departure.
He did. Blazing Star could not forget the look on her face or the sound of her voice when he had scolded her. He had not meant to make it sound as if he despised her, scorned her. He had to see that she was all right. He quickly mounted his horse, knowing he could not allow her to leave this way. He must have hurt her deeply.
To prevent the discovery of their trip, Tom and Miranda rode hard and fast until they neared the outskirts of the fort shortly after midnight. They dismounted and spoke for a few minutes, as talk had been impossible along the trail. Miranda did not realize the effect she had on Tom when she caught his hand and thanked him as she smiled genially and gratefully. It had been an innocent and friendly gesture for her, but one which stirred Tom's blood and passion. As she sneaked to her cabin, Tom guarded her. He had sensed a sadness, a conflict within her, and he wanted to comfort her, but he was afraid of alarming or offending her. At that moment Tom knew he must have her, and knew a path to such a victory was near.
When Miranda was inside, he left with no one the wiser about their actions. Miranda was relieved that Jane had left yesterday for a scouting trek southward and would be gone for several weeks. Once Tom left tomorrow, she would be alone for a time. Frankly, she didn't care; she was glad to have solitude. She secured the door, went into the small bedroom, and began to unpack her belongings.
As she lifted her nightgown, she felt something hard and heard a strange noise. She opened the bundle to find a tormenting and baffling gift. It was a wanapin, a special necklace. There was a long, sharp bear claw suspended on a leather thong, and there were five rattler-rings separated by six sets of blue beads between twelve white beads, strung on either side of the unforgettable weapon of the grizzly. It was evident who had made the necklace and hidden it in her bundle. It was also evident who had taken her first souvenir, though she had presumed she had lost the rattler-ring from her dress pocket that awesome day.
But why had he made it, and why had he concealed it so she would find it after their separation? Did he want her to have a remembrance of their meetings, of him? She began to cry softly. If he cared about her, why had he been so cruel and cold?
Miranda placed the haunting necklace on the table near the bed. She changed into her nightgown and flung the covers aside. Before she could get into bed, she heard a soft tapping at her door. At first she tensed in panic then decided it must be Tom with a message. She went to the door and called softly, "Who's there?"
Knowing she would not open the door to him, Blazing Star muffled his voice and said, "Tom," in an undistinguishable whisper.
When she asked what he wanted, he muffled his voice so that she was compelled to open the door to hear his words. She stood behind the thick door and peered around it as she said, "I couldn't hear you."
"Tamaha," he called her Indian name as he pushed the door aside and entered. "I must speak with you."
Miranda turned and stared at him. "What are you doing here? Get out before I scream for help. As I recall, we have nothing to say."
He stepped forward, pinning her between his iron-muscled arms and the door, which he closed and locked. "Why did you sneak away like a cunning fox in the night? Sun Cloud worries over this behavior."
She looked up at him through tear-soaked lashes. This time, she did not want to see him or talk with him. She did not want him maliciously toying with her emotions again. She should not have trusted Yellow Bird. How dare he come here to torment her! She pushed his confining arm away and walked into her bedroom to retrieve something. He followed her to the doorway. She snatched up the necklace and flung it at him, sneering, "I don't want your gifts! I don't want anything to remind me of you! Just stay away from me, you beast!"
He had ducked to avoid the forcefully thrown necklace. He came toward her, closing the short span which separated them. When she attempted to flee past him, he lunged at her and reached for one wrist. She fought him wildly, cursing and berating him in a quiet tone. When he attempted to imprison her arms, she shocked him by seizing his arm and whirlingand flipping him to the floor with a thud. As he scrambled to his feet, she kicked him in the abdomen. Unprepared for such a blow and action, he was knocked backward to his seat in the middle of the doorway. He stared at her as she assumed a crouched position, ready to ward off his next attack. As he grabbed the doorframe to rise, he observed her stance and hand positions.
"Where did you learn to fight this way?" he asked warily. No one had ever thrown him, not in a contest or battle! How could this fragile girl do what no warrior had done? "You are a trained warrior in skills many men cannot master. But if you continue this battle or scream, others will know of my presence here. You will be trapped by danger and shame, and I will be captured and killed," he advised her, hoping to settle her down so they could talk.
"I know skills which can bring a quick death or a slow one. Come near me, and I will show you," she warned. "Return to your camp. Don't waste time on a white girl with whorish ways," she sneered coldly. "And thank Yellow Bird for her betrayal."
She was full of anguish and fury. He had to deal with her carefully. "Your grandfather is sad you left this way. Will you return?" he asked, trying to distract her from their personal battle.
"It was not wrong to refuse to say farewell to his face. Perhaps I will try to visit him before I return home. But I will never return while you are there," she vowed, relaxing when he did not retaliate.
"Then I will go away to allow your grandfather this time with you," he offered seriously, for the white war council meeting to the west might prevent it later. "I accept your terms. Let us go swiftly."
"No. I haven't decided if I will go back to his camp. When and if I do, I won't need your escort! You were right; I should not have come or remained. It is better for both of us
that I left this way."
"I will tell him why you left. I will speak the truth, Tamaha," he informed her. "He will be hurt that I drove you from his side. I spoke falsely and cruelly," he confessed contritely.
"To you, my name is Miranda Lawrence. But if you're really concerned about him, you'll lie to spare his feelings. You've certainly had plenty of practice at deception! Explain how the scout came for me. I didn't run away. He doesn't have to worry about me. I can defend myself, and I have a gun."
"I will tell him all that happened between us," he declared.
"No! I want you out of my sight," she told him. "And take your gift with you. I don't want anything you've touched and nothing to remind me of you. I wish you'd never come home while I was there. I would rather have remembered you as ..." She halted the confession and cried, "Go away! I hate you, you bloody savage!"
. Her icy tone and expression alarmed him. Had his game succeeded beyond his wishes? How could he tell her that his words had been meant to free them from this trap they faced? How could he say there could be no love between them, when they both felt such an emotion now? How could he claim their lives could not mingle, when they already had many times? "My words were harsh, Tamaha. I was angry when I heard you pulled the eyes of Crazy Horse to you many times. Why so after you showed desire for me? It is dangerous to desire you when you have offered your heart to our chief. Return to camp. I will not hurt you more, but I cannot remove the pain I have inflicted."
"That's ridiculous! Crazy Horse is a stranger; he's married. We've only talked a few times. I would never flirt with him. And I didn't go there searching for you. I never expected to see you again, and I wish I hadn't!" she vowed angrily, but her revealing gaze belied her words. She scoffed, "What makes you think I have such feelings for you, you conceited rogue? And the only reason you caught and held my brief interest was because you enticed it! What female wouldn't be curious about a handsome and mysterious stranger who saved her life two times? But I'm not a she-bitch in heat! I never asked you to desire me! I never asked you to do anything for mel"
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