AR01 - A Road Unknow

by Barbara Cameron

  He sighed. As soon as things got on an even keel with his father, with the store, he needed to talk with the church leaders. If he could, he’d try to make the discussion without his mother. She had enough to cope with.

  There was a knock on the door. “Kumm.”

  Elizabeth opened the door and stuck her head in. “Sorry. I need to get my lunch.”

  “It’s time already?”

  “Ya.” She slipped into the room and retrieved her lunch from the refrigerator.

  “Let me move these papers,” he said, reaching for the neat stacks he’d made on the table.

  “No need,” she said, slipping on her jacket and getting her purse. “I’m going to go eat it at Stitches in Time with Leah.”

  “Oh. Well, then, have a gut time.”

  “Danki. I’ll be back soon.” She bit her bottom lip, started to say something and then shook her head. Turning, she started to leave and nearly ran into Miriam. She blinked. “Well, hello.”

  “Hello.” Miriam grinned. “Hello, Saul.”

  “Miriam! It’s gut to see you! What are you doing in town?”

  “I’m ready to come back to work.”

  His gaze flew to Elizabeth. She looked stricken. Then she was mumbling something about going to lunch and she was gone.

  “Have a seat, Miriam. Can I get you some coffee?”

  “Nee, danki. Is everything allrecht? Elizabeth looked upset.”

  “Well, your news might have had something to do with that. Remember, I hired her to fill in for you and you’re saying you’re ready to come back early.”

  “Oh, no. I’m sorry!”

  “Don’t worry about it. I’ll talk to her when she comes back.”

  Miriam bit her lip. “I guess I won’t be coming back early, then. I don’t want to take Elizabeth’s job away from her.”

  Saul shook his head. “It’s fine. You’ve heard my daed is in the hospital?”

  “Ya. Oh, now I really feel selfish. I intended to ask you about him when I walked in here.”

  “It’s fine,” he said again. “I could use some extra help, especially with Christmas coming up.”

  She brightened. “Well, then, it all worked out! I’ll see you tomorrow morning, then?”

  He nodded and sat back with a sigh after she left. Yes, it had all worked out for him. But he didn’t like the idea Elizabeth looked upset. He glanced at the clock. She’d be back soon and he’d explain.

  Determined to get caught up, he focused on the paperwork in front of him. Before he knew it Elizabeth was walking into the room and hanging up her jacket.

  “Gut, you’re back—”

  “I have another job to go to, so if you don’t need me to finish out the week I can go there,” she said, lifting her chin.

  “You what?”

  “I got another job. So if you don’t need me because Miriam will be here I can go work there.”

  “Why did you go get another job?” he demanded, exasperated. “I never said I wanted you to leave.”

  She put her purse away and stared at him. “I was hired to fill in while Miriam was out. Now she’s back.”

  “She wanted to come back early, but it didn’t mean I was going to let her!” He heard his voice rise and took a deep breath.

  “Well, are you saying you didn’t?”

  “No, but—”

  “Then you should be happy I have another job to go to, so you don’t have two of us.”

  Saul counted to ten, praying for patience. “It would have been fine. I wouldn’t ask you to leave before your time. And we could use the extra help since I’ve been out so much with my parents, and we’re having extra Christmas traffic.”

  “Well, I didn’t know you’d want me to stay.”

  “You got a job while you were out on your lunch hour?” he asked her. “This has to be some kind of record—a person finding a job in less than an hour.”

  “You don’t think I’m good enough to find a job quickly?” She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him.

  “It’s not what I said. It’s just amazing, that’s all. Sometimes people look for jobs for weeks. Years.”

  “Well, I didn’t really find it during my lunch hour,” she said, looking less angry. “I got offered the job before today, but it wasn’t supposed to start until after the first of the year.”

  “I see. So what do you want to do?”

  “What do you mean, what do I want to do? I want to work. I have to work. I don’t have anyone supporting me.”

  Saul wondered what she’d do if he banged his head on the wall.

  “Anyway, maybe it’s better this way since we’re not getting along,” she said quietly.

  “We had a fight. There’s no need to overreact, Elizabeth.”

  “I didn’t overreact.”

  “No? Even if you didn’t then, what do you call now? You go rushing out and grab at another job, so we don’t see each other?”

  “So we can only see each other if we work together?”

  That stopped him. He’d grown to really enjoy working with her. Maybe he hadn’t come to the point of envisioning a future with her, but now the idea was there, he wondered if the possibility was lost forever.

  It hurt more than he wanted to admit. “You didn’t have to get another job,” he blurted out before he could stop himself. “Is this what you do when things get hard?”

  “It’s what you think, isn’t it?” she asked slowly. “I just run away from my problems?”

  Saul sensed whatever he said was going to decide if they ever saw each other again. Why had he opened his big mouth and stuck his foot into it?

  “Let’s not talk about this now,” he urged. “It’s too important.”

  She bit her lip, a habit of hers when she felt uncertain. Then she glanced at the clock and her eyes widened when she saw the time.

  “Fine. I’m going back to work.” She turned and started out of the room.

  “Elizabeth?”

  She stopped but she didn’t turn. “What?”

  “Can we go somewhere after work and talk?”

  “I can’t tonight.”

  He wanted to ask her who she had plans with, but he didn’t have the right. “Sunday? After church?”

  “I’m not sure I want to go. The bishop—”

  “Don’t worry about him. He’s not going to say anything to you if you’re with me.”

  She hesitated for a long moment and then she nodded. “See you Sunday.”

  It was all he could ask. Maybe by the time they talked he’d know what to say.

  Elizabeth heard giggling.

  She perked up, listening, but it stopped. Shrugging, she returned to reading her book.

  The giggling began again.

  Kicking off the afghan she’d tucked around her legs, she left the sofa and tiptoed over to the front door. She peeked out the peephole in the door and her eyes widened. Paula and Jason were kissing!

  Embarrassed she’d accidentally seen something so private she backed away and climbed back onto the sofa. No, better to go to her room. Paula might invite Jason in for a cup of coffee or something.

  She was just getting up again when she heard a key turn in the lock and they walked in.

  “Oh, hi, Elizabeth! You’re still up!”

  “Well, it’s Saturday,” she said lamely, wishing she’d moved faster.

  Maybe if she faked a yawn.

  “I’m glad you’re up,” Paula told her. She took Jason by the hand and led him over to the sofa. “I have something to tell you.”

  She turned to smile up at Jason and he looked at her with such love Elizabeth knew Paula had gotten the engagement ring she hoped for—early before Christmas. “We’re engaged!” She held out her hand to show Elizabeth her ring.

  Elizabeth didn’t have any experience with engagement rings—the Amish didn’t wear engagement or wedding rings—but it was pretty and Paula and Jason acted so happy.

  “It’s lovely,” she said, taking Paula�
��s hand and studying it.

  “I wanted to get her something bigger—” Jason began.

  “Don’t you start again!” she told him. “I love it. And we agreed to save the money for a down payment on a house.”

  “When are you getting married?

  “June.”

  “How wonderful.”

  “Don’t worry,” Paula said quickly. “You can stay here. Nothing has to change.”

  “Oh, I couldn’t do that. You two deserve to have the place to yourselves.”

  “You always think about others.” She turned to Jason. “How about I start some coffee and go pack an overnight bag?”

  “I can do it. I think I remember how.”

  “We’re going to go to his parents’ house to tell them and spend the rest of the weekend,” Paula told Elizabeth. “Come help me pick out what to take.”

  Elizabeth followed her into her bedroom where she sat on the end of the bed and watched Paula go through her closet.

  “So, how did it go today?” Paula called from her walk-in closet. “Did you get to talk and work things out with Saul?”

  She bit her lip. Now wasn’t the time to tell Paula she and Saul had argued again. “He wasn’t in long. We’ll talk soon.”

  Paula emerged from the closet with two dresses. “What do you think? The pink or the navy?”

  “Pink. The navy’s kind of . . .” she searched for the word.

  “Boring?”

  “No! It’s just the pink is so pretty on you.”

  Her bag packed, Paula returned to the living room with Elizabeth trailing behind her.

  Jason had made coffee and stood at the kitchen island pouring mugs for the three of them. “There’s some really good-looking pie in the fridge,” he said. “I really like pie.”

  “I’ll get it for you,” Elizabeth said. “Paula?”

  She shook her head. “I’m too excited to eat.”

  Jason eyed the pie as Elizabeth took it from the refrigerator. “I’ve never had that happen.” Then he looked up and reddened. “Sorry, honey, I didn’t mean I’m not excited about us getting engaged. I just meant I never turn down food.”

  She laughed. “I knew what you meant. And it’s Elizabeth’s Dutch apple pie. I’ll be lucky you don’t want to marry her instead of me after you eat a slice.”

  “Stop,” Elizabeth said with a laugh. “Shall I warm it up in the microwave?”

  “Just hand it here,” he said. “I’ll warm it up eating it.” He took a bite and rolled his eyes. “Oh, man, Paula, make her give you the recipe for this, will ya?”

  Elizabeth cut a slice for Paula and then decided to have one as a bedtime snack.

  Too soon, they were gone and the apartment fell silent again. Elizabeth loaded the dishwasher and took her book to bed. But instead of reading, she lay there on her side staring at the two little carved wooden sparrows sitting on her bedside table. They were lined up like a pair ready for Noah’s ark, she thought.

  It didn’t feel like she was going to get engaged anytime soon. She knew she should be grateful she had a new job lined up because she certainly needed to support herself. But her heart ached and no matter how hard she tried to blink them away tears splashed down onto her cheeks.

  She swiped at the tears with her hands, admonishing herself for a good old pity party. God was sure not going to think she appreciated Him by carrying on this way. She sat up, reached for a tissue from the box on the bedside table to dab at the tears and said a prayer, asking His forgiveness.

  God had a plan for her. She’d thought she knew what it was but now she wasn’t so certain. She lay back against her pillow and stared at the ceiling, wishing she could see His face and ask Him what His plan was.

  Verdraue.

  Trust.

  She wasn’t certain if the word drifting across her consciousness just as she was on the edge of sleep came from her own mind or His. But she smiled. She’d do her best to trust Him. She hoped her effort would be worthy in His eyes.

  17

  Elizabeth! It’s gut to see you again! I missed you at the shop when you came in.”

  She looked up as she climbed the stairs to the porch and saw Mary Katherine beaming down at her as she bounced a toddler on her hip.

  “It’s gut to see you, too.” She smiled at the toddler busy stuffing the ties to her kapp into her mouth and chewing on them and received a grin.

  Mary Katherine waited until Elizabeth stood beside her then she glanced around her. “Leah asked me to see if you’d like to sit with me,” she said quietly. “She told me she didn’t want the bishop making you feel uncomfortable. I don’t know if you know, but a different bishop kept pressuring me to join the church years ago. I wasn’t ready and she defended me like a mama lion.”

  “I didn’t know. This one wants me to go back to Goshen. I can’t blame him. My grossmudder wrote him. She’s . . . a very strong woman.”

  Mary Katherine lifted her chin and fire flashed from her eyes. “No one should pressure anyone to do something they don’t think is right. I don’t know you well, but what I do know is you have to do what’s right for you. It’s between you and God. No one else should be trying to tell you what to do.”

  The toddler reacted to her vehemence with a screech and slapped her own cheeks and giggled. Mary Katherine and Elizabeth laughed and walked inside to find seats.

  Leah came in a few minutes later and nodded when she saw Elizabeth sitting with Mary Katherine.

  Once during the service Elizabeth felt as if someone watched her and when she looked over, she saw Saul sitting in the men’s section, looking in her direction. So much for separating men and women to eliminate distractions during the church service. She didn’t need to sit next to him to know when he looked at her. There was a faint line between his eyebrows and his expression seemed serious.

  When he realized she’d noticed him looking, he turned his attention back to the lay minister.

  She focused her own attention on his message and smiled slightly when she realized he was talking about listening for messages from God about His plan for you.

  Mary Katherine elbowed her. She turned to look at her and Mary Katherine grinned. “He agrees with me,” she whispered.

  Elizabeth smiled. She loved church. It seemed like when she felt troubled about something she heard just what she needed to do. Goshen or Paradise, God found a way to send a message to her listening ear, her waiting spirit.

  She felt a hand tug on her sleeve and realized the hand belonged to Mary Katherine’s daughter. The little girl gave her another of her winsome smiles and Elizabeth found herself holding out her arms.

  “Lizzie,” Mary Katherine whispered. “Don’t bother Elizabeth.”

  “It was my nickname, too, when I was little,” she whispered back. “And she’s not bothering me.”

  The child clambered onto Elizabeth’s lap. Her mother produced a little plastic bag with a handful of pretzel sticks. Lizzie reached up and pushed one at Elizabeth’s lips, so she had to accept it and thank her. Then Lizzie settled back against Elizabeth and happily munched for the rest of the service.

  Elizabeth found herself thinking about her favorite younger sister. She loved all of her brothers and sisters, but she’d always felt closest to one, Sadie. They seemed tuned to each other more than Elizabeth felt to the others. Maybe it was why Sadie had tucked her teddy bear in Elizabeth’s suitcase when she wasn’t looking.

  It would have been so nice if she hadn’t had to tear herself from the fabric of her family life in order to find some personal happiness.

  Lizzie became still and the little plastic bag of pretzels slipped from her hand. Elizabeth caught it and handed it to Mary Katherine, then looked down and found Lizzie had fallen asleep. A tiny snore escaped her lips and the minister, pausing, heard it and looked in her direction. He smiled and then went on.

  Saul caught the direction of the minister’s look, and he regarded Elizabeth thoughtfully for a long moment before returning his atte
ntion to the service.

  “I can take her,” Mary Katherine whispered.

  “I’m fine,” Elizabeth whispered back. Holding the little body sleeping so trustfully in her arms felt oddly comforting. She’d missed this.

  When the service concluded, the women got up and hurried to the kitchen to get the light meal ready while the men converted the seating for it. Elizabeth got up, holding the sleeping Lizzie, and walked over to a corner of the room to get out of the way.

  And ran into the bishop.

  “Have you thought about what we discussed?” he asked her.

  She held a finger to her lips and glanced down at the kind.

  “I’ll find her mamm so we can talk,” he said, frowning at her.

  He turned and headed purposefully toward the kitchen before Elizabeth could think of a response.

  “Elizabeth? Everything allrecht?” Saul asked her.

  She looked up at him and winced. “He’s gone to get Mary Katherine so we can talk.”

  Saul glanced in the direction the bishop had walked. There they could both see Leah standing in the doorway of the kitchen. She had her hands on her hips and she was shaking her head.

  Elizabeth remembered what Mary Katherine had told her before the service—she’d said Leah wanted her to sit with her because she didn’t want the bishop making her feel uncomfortable.

  How had she described Leah when she did the same for her years earlier? Like a mama lion? When Leah glanced in her direction, Elizabeth wondered if she was doing the same for her. When Leah visited at the store, she’d said she’d talk to the bishop if Elizabeth wanted. It looked like Leah might be doing so now, without being asked.

  The bishop shook his graying head and didn’t look happy, but he didn’t return to talk with Elizabeth.

  Lizzie woke and puckered up to cry when she saw Elizabeth instead of her mother. “Let’s go find your mamm,” she told her. “I think she’s making you something gut to eat.”