#2 Shades of Gray: From Moscow, With Love
Page 59
Chapter Fifty
Removing Obstacles
8:43 P.M...
Kimberly's view...
"That's right! You're so weak!" I shout as I watch that woman struggle, and I take delight in it. "You can't kill me, can you? Idiot! You talk all confident about saving everybody, but you can't, not if it involves taking a life."
In that moment as I yell at that woman, I see my own hesitation. I haven't acted, and I've allowed that woman time to toil over her decision. I'm letting Melissa get further and further away, and I can't fathom a reason for my hesitation, and then I consider that I take pleasure in seeing her torment. Am I that cruel? Maybe... No maybes; I am that cruel. I would have removed all obstacles by now, so what am I waiting for? Do I really want to see that woman suffer over this decision? Do I want to see her toil over it like the first time I agonized over it? Isn't she an idiotic idealist? Doesn't she need to be taught a lesson? I break through my own wall of deceit and realize that's the answer. I relax in the freedom of my hatred. I want her to decide to cross the line and become like me. The image of my mom that the music box produces, appears in my mind. What does the hologram Theresa know anyway? Who cares if that woman takes a life?
I shout, "Kill me to save Melissa!" I need that woman to make her move, so I can kill her. I want her to die knowing she couldn't keep to her moral convictions.
Katharine's view...
My arm shakes with uncertainty. I can't live with myself if I kill Kimberly. I think about the children. I can't live with myself if I allow Kimberly to kill Melissa. I don't know what to do, and this is a decision no one should have to make.
Kimberly's view...
"Well? I thought you were going to save everyone!" My hatred grows as I think more and more about that woman's innocent view of the world, and it makes me sick to think she's so optimistic. "Oh wait..." I'll take that world and make her see its ugly face. "Daniels and Andrews are already dead, so I guess you can't save them, and only one of us will be leaving this platform, so there again you've failed. Well? Are you going to stand there and do nothing?"
That woman won't reply to my taunting; she only gazes at me with those pitiful hazel eyes. I do notice her eyes are filled with anguish and look like they're on the verge of crying. I say, "As I thought. You're so weak. What did my mom ever see in you? When it comes down to it, you can't save anyone, not even yourself. You can't shoot me, can you?"
Katharine's view...
Aiming for Kimberly's heart, I place my finger on the trigger, deciding I have no other choice, but when I go to pull the trigger, fragile glimpses from my past sail by my mind like dandelion seeds drifting on the wind. When I try to reach my hand after the hidden memories and snatch them from the breeze, they evade my mental grasp and float away, leaving only an impression of their brief existence. They leave me with a sense that I know Kimberly and we're connected, so I need to stay my hand. I realize what I was about to do is so horribly wrong, so I drop my arm then both guns and they hit the concrete floor.
"You're right." Filled with defeat and confusion, I close my eyes, shake my head, and whisper, "I can't. I can't hurt you, not you."
"That's what I thought." Kimberly aims for my forehead. "You're weak and useless. The Council must see you as a waste of their precious time."
I've failed Chad; I've failed him and Melissa. I couldn't pull the trigger. It's all I had to do to save them, so why didn't I? There's that impression that I know her, but... I open my eyes, freeze, and stare at Kimberly, waiting for her to take the shot. I was supposed to save them. Andrews and Daniels laid down their lives for them. All I had to do was squeeze a freaking piece of metal, but I couldn't! I gave up! I'm weak!
Kimberly's view...
It's all too easy with that woman who's more like a child when it comes to her way of thinking. Yes, it's way too easy; it should be more... more challenging. I lift the barrel of my gun straight up, changing my mind about killing that woman. She could still prove useful, but I don't know if she'll help me after I finish my Closing. I uncock the gun and walk toward her, and as I start to pass, she grabs my shoulder.
"I won't kill you," she states. "But I also won't let you hurt Melissa."
Irritated, I look at her hand, then into her determined face, and ask, "What are you going to do?"
"I won't let you pass. You'll have to kill me first, and as I told you before, I'm going to save everyone. I'm going to save even you."
Save me? Who's that woman going to save me from? I aim again for her head and say, "If that's how you want it. Fine, but I was hoping to continue our partnership a little longer, but oh well."
Katharine's view...
I gulp, stare at the gun, and repeat with a little more fear and a little less resolve in my voice, "I won't let you pass; I won't." In my heart, I'm still determined to save everyone, but my body's the one who betrays my earnestness. If I can buy Melissa and the children a few more minutes, then maybe they'll flee to safety, but I'm so afraid of dying. My hand trembles as I hold Kimberly back. There's nothing else I can do but hold on to her shoulder and wait for the gun blast and the blackness that will follow, praying I've at least bought them the precious time they need with my sacrifice.
Kimberly's view...
A few seconds pass, and neither of us move. I still haven't shot that woman, and I don't know why I'm hesitating again. For Ares' sake! What's with me? I know what that woman is and that it will be a waste to eliminate her, but is that the reason I don't shoot her? Or am I regrowing a conscience? No, it can't be that.
I shout, "Hades! We've gotten ourselves into a real mess! I prefer to have you around a little longer but no, you had to go get all up in my business. I have a feeling you would've been useful."
I then think of something. If that woman wants to save Melissa so badly, why didn't she attack me? She could have shot me in the leg or at least punched me, but she acts like she doesn't want to hurt me in the least. Isn't that ridiculous?
I realize I have to eliminate her and there goes our partnership. I press my finger against the trigger when a loud beep startles me, and I almost shoot with the jolt to my psyche. The sound comes from my knapsack. Hades! That was intense.
I hold my aim as I question, "Do you mind if I take a look? It's my H.H.C."
End Kimberly's view...
A puzzled expression crossed Kat's face as she uttered, "Ahh... No. Go right ahead." Kat released her shoulder and took a step back.
Kim removed the device and glanced at the screen. "An e-mail from Voice. I'll need to get this."
Kat nodded.
It was so unprofessional, Kim thought as she lowered the gun and holstered the weapon. She opened up the e-mail and read the message.
Voice had typed, "Ms. Odin's Closing is canceled. Repeat. Ms. Odin's Closing is canceled. The Valhalla Corporation has withdrawn their request."
Kim clicked on the attachment, and it included all the appropriate paperwork. She told that woman, "The Life Closing has been canceled."
"Canceled?" Kat didn't know if it was a trick or not.
"Yes. Canceled. It seems I don't have to kill you or Melissa after all."
Suspicious of her words, Kat couldn't believe it.
"For Ares' sake!" Kim shouted. "What's going on? Why the last minute cancelation?"
"Is it really canceled?" Kat asked, wanting to believe.
"Sure. I wouldn't lie."
Kat raised her brown eyebrows, mocking her statement.
"Fine, maybe I would, but look." Kim showed her the documents. "See. Canceled."
Katharine's view...
Relieved, deeply hurt, and psychologically exhausted, I wrap my arms around myself and tremble. That last second I was sure Kimberly was going to kill me. I feel sick. I would be dead right now if her email had beeped a second later.
"What's wrong with you?" Kimberly asks.
Taking a moment before answering, I lie, "Nothing." I try to shake off the uncertainty, reach down, and pick up the Glock and the Beretta. "Let's go back."
I can't shake off the feelings. Kimberly would have killed me. She would have killed me, and I would have stood there and let her. Stupid... I can't protect Chad if I'm dead.