Annihilate Me (Vol. 1) (The Annihilate Me Series)

by Christina Ross

  I finished in the bathroom and changed into a short red dress for the evening. It wasn’t new. It was something I’d had for a few years and it hadn’t been expensive, but I still loved it. When I showed Lisa what I was wearing, she gleamed at me.

  “I’ve always loved that dress.”

  “It’s so old,” I said.

  “Really? Because when it comes to Blue, they’ve never seen it. To everyone there, it’s new.”

  “I love you, Lisa.”

  “I love you more. Now let’s go eat and drink. We deserve a martini with proper vodka. I might need three.”

  “I guess we can do whatever we want. That’s expected of me. I just need to be sober enough to give them a full report tomorrow.”

  “I’ll help you in the morning,” she said. “I’m a starving artist. If this is a weekly thing, I am so helping you out.”

  I grasped her hand as we left. “Thank you,” I said.

  “For what?”

  “You know what. Don’t pretend that you don’t. I think the world of you and I’m grateful for you.”

  “Girlfriends,” she said as we left the apartment. “There’s nothing like them.”

  CHAPTER TWE

  NTY-FIVE

  It was at the close of my eleventh day on the job that I left the restaurant to find a gleaming stretch limousine just outside. I didn’t think much about it because db Bistro attracted that kind of clientele, and also because two hotels were on either side of me. But when I went to the curb to hail a cab and the limo nudged toward me, I knew what was up even before the rear window receded and I saw his face.

  Alex.

  He stepped out of the car and onto the sidewalk, and I was damned if my heart didn’t race. He wore faded jeans that left little to the imagination and a white shirt that fit loosely against his muscular chest. Not that that mattered. I still could see his body, regardless of how loose his shirt was. Nothing could hide how muscular he was. On his feet were sandals.

  I’d never seen him look so casual. I loved how he looked in a suit, but this was different. He looked beyond sexy and, even now, it was impossible for me not to respond physically to him. He was the manifestation of everything I found attractive in a man.

  Lisa promised this was coming at some point, and here it was.

  He walked toward me. “Jennifer,” he said.

  I was grateful that I was able to wear what I wanted at work so long as it was on trend and professional. Tonight, my hair was down, I wore a pair of off-white Dior pants I had scored for a bargain at Century 21, my blouse was red Givenchy, and my shoes were matching red Prada slingback pumps, also purchased at Century 21. Physically, I felt that I looked better than the last time he saw me, which was something of a feat given all Blackwell and Bernie had done for me, but it nevertheless was true. I had a good job and I was happy, which gave me the confidence I’d been lacking since I had arrived in Manhattan. When I nodded at him, I knew that confidence was reflected in my eyes.

  “Alex.”

  “It’s good to see you.”

  “How did you know to find me here?”

  “I had you followed the other night.”

  “So, now you’re stalking me?”

  “I’ve called you dozens of times, Jennifer. I’ve left you at least the same amount of messages. Because you won’t respond to them, I took the next step. I wanted to see you in person.”

  “I should leave.”

  “Will you give me a moment?”

  “What’s the point?”

  “Why haven’t you responded to my messages?”

  “Because I don’t listen to your messages. I delete them.”

  He looked at me in surprise, and I could sense his disappointment.

  For a moment, we just stood there on the sidewalk. People walked through the silence that stretched between us as if there wasn’t a concrete wall there, but there was because I had built it.

  “I really should be going,” I said. “I’ve had a long day.”

  “Why won’t you listen to me? Or talk to me?”

  I pointed my finger at him. “When someone treats me the way you treated me, they don’t deserve me or my time. Leave me alone. Stop calling. I’m in a great spot right now, and I’m not interested in you. I’ve moved on.”

  He stepped closer to me. “I don’t believe that.”

  I stood my ground and didn’t move. “You should.”

  “I can’t get you out of my head.”

  “There are pills for that.”

  “Please don’t be like that. Don’t be glib. I didn’t come here lightly. I only came because it was clear you weren’t going to return my calls. When my wife died four years ago, I never thought I’d find anyone who could stand in her shoes. But then I met you.”

  I blinked at him. He had a wife? She died? I felt horrible.

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “I had no idea.”

  “You’re two completely different women, but even after all these years, I can feel her. This will make no sense to you, but I think she’s the one pressing me to follow through with this.”

  “How did she die?”

  “Car accident. She was on her cell talking to me; she crossed the center line. I heard everything as it happened. It’s taken me years to get back on track. I know she’d want me to be happy. You make me happy. I’m sorry I behaved the way I did. It was inexcusable.”

  “We were having a good time. What got into you?”

  “I was jealous. I thought you were interested in Cyrus. Then the two drinks came from strangers who were checking you out. All of it set me off. Then, I wasn’t sure why. But it didn’t take me long to figure it out. You’re beyond impressive, Jennifer. I’ve never seen anyone so quick and so bright as you were when you convinced Cyrus to take the deal to his father. Watching you in action was a turn on. And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t find you attractive. I think you’re beautiful.”

  I overlooked the statement. “Did you make the deal?”

  “I did. But only because of the way you designed it for me. Of course, Cyrus had to bring something substantial to his father, who was thrilled that his son finally showed a trace of interest in the company. You nailed it. I had no idea you had that in you. I saw your resume, but you’re years beyond it. I apologize for everything. I want to see you again.”

  “We’ve never seen each other.”

  “Jennifer, you know what I mean. Don’t behave as if you don’t.”

  It was overwhelming. It was obvious he was telling me the truth about how he felt. I could feel it from where I stood. He closed the distance between us. I looked for a cab.

  What would happen if I let him in again? The thought was paralyzing. I wasn’t in his league. Other than a physical attraction and a mutual interest in business, what more did we have between us? We barely even knew each other. If I went back to that emotional place with him, if I dropped my guard now, he could ruin me later. I had been fortunate before to get out of the situation as quickly as I did. I’d only spent one day with him, and look what that did to me. If I spent more time with him and he pulled anything like that again, he would destroy me. I was that taken by him.

  Lisa entered my head. It was from one of our many midnight conversations. Yes, he could hurt you, Jennifer. But that’s true of anyone. At some point, you’re going to have to take a risk. Otherwise, you’ll be alone forever.

  I felt more conflicted now than I had in my entire life. But some things don’t change, so my guard nevertheless went up, with barbed wire along the periphery.

  “Alex, I’m happy right now. Your world is complicated. Here, I can make a mark for myself. I’m a manager at one of the city’s great restaurants, which beats being someone’s arm candy. Right now, I feel as if I’m making a way for myself that’s good. I can see myself growing here, and someday elsewhere. I can use this job to get a better job.”

  “They’re lucky to have you. Anyone is lucky to have you.”

  “I’m lucky to ha
ve them. There’s no drama here. No jealousy. I can succeed on my own merits. They’re offering me that, and I’m grateful for it. I’ve waited almost five months for it.”

  Again, I looked for a cab, but I didn’t see any, which was ridiculous, especially because the Algonquin Hotel was to my right and the Iroquois was to my left. There should be cabs here. I wanted out. Lisa was waiting up for me, just as she always did to make sure I got home safe. I needed to leave.

  He held out his hand to me. I looked down at it. His palm was facing up.

  “Alex,” I said.

  “Just take it, Jennifer. Take it and tell me you don’t feel something.”

  “I have to go.”

  “Just take my hand. If you feel nothing, I promise I’ll disappear and I won’t bother you again. But if you feel something, then you’ll have the answers to your own questions, because I think you’ve also been thinking about me.”

  “How can I not think about you when you call every hour?”

  He smiled. “I’ve been persistent for a reason. Just take my hand. If you feel nothing, I’m gone.”

  I looked at his hand for a moment. My heart slammed against my chest because I remembered what his touch did to me. I remembered the heat that passed through us the first time he took my hand that night before we entered the elevator. And the second time in the limousine. And all the other times that night before everything changed. Would the feeling be the same? Maybe I did need to know. Maybe this would end it. I reached out and put my hand in his. I looked up at his face and saw how tense he was. He looked worried and vulnerable. His hand closed over mine and he pulled me gently toward him.

  “Do you feel it?” he asked.

  My eyes filled with tears. Of course, I felt it. But what would that mean for me now? I’d done so well these past several days. As hard as it sometimes was, I’d been focused and determined to walk away from this. Now, here I was again—on the hook and emotionally naked. He squeezed my hand harder and drew me closer to him.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he said.

  “I don’t know what you see in me.”

  “More than you see in yourself.”

  His lips pressed against mine and they were soft, inviting, better than I had imagined. I felt his stubble brush against my chin, and it sent shivers through me. I melted into his kiss because I couldn’t deny that I wanted it. He kissed me with a passion and an intensity that surprised me, and I returned it. For a moment, I couldn’t get enough of him. It was mutual. He wrapped his arms around my waist tightly enough that I could feel his excitement against my thigh. His tongue swept into my mouth, and I tasted it. He cupped my face with his hands, and kissed my lips, my nose, my forehead, and then the tears that were streaming down my cheeks.

  “Why are you crying?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “And you’re trembling.”

  I said nothing.

  “Tell me.”

  I turned away from him and wiped my face with the back of my hand. “I don’t want to get hurt. I think you might end up hurting me.”

  “Physically?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe. You did before. At the very least, I think you will emotionally. I’m so not in your league, Alex. Why don’t you find someone who is?”

  “Because I want you.”

  “You don’t even know me.”

  “By sending Blackwell away and by ignoring me over the past week and a half, you’ve said everything you needed to say about who you are. You’re not interested in my money—you gave me back the jewels and the clothes even though you knew they were yours. You could have made a fortune off them, but you didn’t. You found a job and moved on. Most wouldn’t have done that, because most have an agenda when it comes to me. I have to deal with that every day. I know where you stand with me. I’m grateful for it. Please, let me drive you home.”

  “I should get a cab.”

  “There are none.”

  “One will come.”

  “Jennifer. It’s just a drive home.”

  But it wasn’t. When I got into the back of the limousine with him, his lips were on mine again. He pulled me close and kissed me in ways that no schoolboy had ever kissed me. Once again, I was lost in his embrace.

  And I was scared to death of it.

  CHAPTER TWE

  NTY-SIX

  “Are you hungry?” he asked.

  I was nestled in his arms—my head against his chest as I listened to his heartbeat in slow, steady rhythms. He was content. We had been driving around the city for fifteen minutes, and that was the first time he’d said anything to me. We weren’t silent—we were saying plenty to each other just by being with each other. Right then, we didn’t need words to communicate. It was all laid bare in the thrum of the city.

  “I could eat something.”

  “What would you like?”

  “It doesn’t really matter.”

  “You know what I’d love to have?”

  “What’s that?”

  “A burger and fries.”

  I looked up at him. “You eat junk food?”

  “I’m not talking fast food. I’m talking a real hamburger and fries. The good stuff. Fresh.”

  I poked him in the gut, but there was no gut to be found. There was only the rippling of corded muscles, which nearly sent me over the edge. “Given how in shape you are, I’m assuming it’s been five years or so since you’ve had a burger?”

  “Not true.”

  “When, then?”

  “Four nights ago. And it was rare, thick, and juicy. I’ve got just the place if you want to go.”

  “What about your waistline?”

  “Since when are you concerned about my waistline?”

  “Since you obviously are.”

  “I’ll run it off in the morning. You game?”

  “I could eat a burger,” I said. “But it’ll probably go straight to my ass.”

  He grinned at me. “Good. I like your ass. Let’s eat.”

  * * *

  He took me to a restaurant in the East Village. It was nothing more than a hole in the wall, but when we stepped inside, I immediately liked it and its vibe. It was youthful and hip, busy and dim. And it smelled wonderful. It reminded me of some of my favorite diners back home.

  “This is great,” I said.

  “Wait until you have their food.”

  “How often do you come here?”

  “Once a week or so. When I don’t want to cook or if I want to disappear during dinner, this is where I go. Nobody would know me or recognize me here.”

  Rows of red vinyl booths lined the right side of the space. A bar filled with people was to our left. Two booths were free. We chose one, and sat down opposite each other. Although I was wildly over dressed for this place, it didn’t matter. There was zero pretension here. It had a neighborhood feel to it. Looking around, it seemed as if everyone knew one another, but not in ways that made you feel like an outsider. It was the perfect choice—casual and happy, but still allowing for pockets of intimacy.

  He handed me a menu. “Indulge,” he said.

  “Where’s the good stuff?”

  “On the back.”

  “What are you having?”

  “Third burger down. It’s topped with blue cheese, red onion, a big slice of a tomato, and some kind of peppery sauce that I want to bottle and bring home. I don’t know what it is, but it’s great. Obviously, I’m having their hand-cut fries. Maybe a beer.”

  I put down the menu. “All of that works for me.”

  “How do you want yours done?”

  “They just need to walk the cow past the oven and I’m good.”

  He laughed at that. It was good to see him laugh. A waiter came by with two glasses of water, and Alex ordered for us. The beers appeared within moments in tall, chilled glasses, and then we were alone.

  He lifted his beer toward me. “To a fresh start?”

  I took a breath to still my nerves, but then I touched the r
im of my glass against his. He’d never know the enormity of the risk I was taking. He’d never understand why it was so difficult for me to trust men. But I had to start. He was sincere earlier. It was clear. It also was time to give him the second chance he wanted. And which I also wanted. There was something between us that was tangible. I couldn’t ignore it.

  But he won’t get a another chance.

  “To a fresh start,” I said.

  We sipped our beers and then he took my hand. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  At that moment, I thought of Lisa. She would be waiting up for me. “Do you mind if I send a text to my roommate? She always stays up for me to make sure I get home safe.”

  “Of course. It sounds like you have a true friend there.”

  “Since fifth grade. Lisa’s my rock.”

  I pulled my cell out of my pocket and sent her a text. “Don’t wait up. I’m with Alex. I know. Close your mouth. Get ready for the stories because they’re coming. XO.”

  By the time our food came, we were deep in conversation. Alex asked me everything about my job, and I could tell he wasn’t just going through the motions. He asked a dozen questions, the last of which made me smile: “How do I shoe in on that free dinner thing you’ve got going on?”

  “You’ll be competing with Lisa, but I’ll see what I can do.”