Delightfully Deluded

by Barbara Goss

  He watched the buggy until it was out of sight before sitting on the picnic basket and praying. At one time he had thought Eden was a thorn in his side, but now she was a thorn in his heart. It was painful to see her and not be able to be with her.

  Eden had seen through his act and so had Addie. As smart as Catherine was, hadn’t she seen through it, too? Couldn’t she see he didn’t want to marry her? She had to have noticed they had nothing in common.

  He slowly got up and walked to his buggy. It felt like he couldn’t possibly go through another day without Eden, or stay committed to marrying Catherine.

  Chapter 16

  Catherine came to Eden’s room dressed in her nightclothes. “Are you up for a chat?”

  “Sure,” Eden said with a welcoming smile. She wondered what Catherine could possibly want.

  Catherine sat down on the bed and watched Eden brushing her golden hair as she sat in front of her dressing table. Eden put the brush down and turned to her. When Catherine nervously picked at the hem of her housecoat, Eden knew they were in for a serious talk.

  “Eden, you know I came here all the way from New York to marry Andrew, so why do I get the feeling he prefers you?” Catherine asked.

  “We developed a friendship during our travels, since we have a lot in common,” Eden answered. “But I’m not sure he prefers me. He’s still committed to you, isn’t he?”

  “Yes, but he’s acting strangely, and I’m thinking he’s doing it on purpose to try and get out of our agreement. Does he always act so…so dim-witted and irresponsible?”

  “Honestly, Catherine, I haven’t know him long myself. He seems fine to me, though.” Eden tried to stick to the truth as much as she could, but she'd lie if it prevented someone from hurt feelings.

  “I’m thirty years old and this was my last chance to marry and become a mother, my fondest dream. I don’t know what to do,” she said, letting tears roll down her face. She dabbed at them quickly, as if she didn’t want to be seen crying.

  Eden’s heart felt heavy with guilt. She knew Andrew would have married Catherine despite their indifferences had he not met her, had she’d not initiated their kisses. It was her fault Catherine was heartbroken. This wouldn’t do.

  Standing, Eden made her way to the bed and sat beside Catherine. She knew better than to hug an independent woman who would hate pity, so she patted her hand. “Give it time, Catherine. I just know things will work out between you and Andrew. I’ve noticed you two have little in common…perhaps you could take more of an interest in the things he likes and maybe he’ll do the same.”

  “He’s made no move toward intimacy at all, so I don’t know if we’re even physically attracted, although I do think he’s handsome, and definitely fit,” Catherine said.

  “He and Martin are both handsome.” Eden started to braid her hair for bed. “I need to leave Hays, soon. I never meant to stay here. I wanted to get a job so that I could move on, but Addie talked me out of it. I’d leave tomorrow if I had the train fare.”

  “Maybe you should talk to Addie. She might pay you for all the housework you’ve already done,” Catherine said.

  “Oh, I couldn’t. She just bought me clothes.”

  “I could lend you the train fare, and when you get a job somewhere, you can always pay me back. I won’t worry about the money—I have plenty,” Catherine said, “but I'd prefer the term loan to the gift as it might seem like I was paying you off in order to get Andrew’s full attention.”

  “I would repay you. I’d like to move on…maybe to Denver.”

  “Just tell me the price of the ticket and it’s yours.”

  Andrew had made a decision. He hadn’t visited Catherine in two days. He missed seeing Eden, but he’d put off what he knew he had to do too long already—he had to get up the nerve to be honest with Catherine.

  After leaving the livery for the day, he headed toward the Jordans’ place, rehearsing over and over what he’d say, then he planned to claim Eden and marry her. The thought brightened his spirits.

  He was greeted warmly by Addie and led into the sitting room where Catherine and Martin were sitting. They had their Bibles open, so he thought perhaps they were having a Bible study.

  Catherine stood as soon as soon as Andrew entered the room. “Andrew! We’re having our Bible study—would you like to join us?”

  “No," he said, nodding to Martin. “I need to talk to you, Catherine. Would you like to take a walk with me?”

  “Yes, of course. Let me grab my cape,” she said.

  Martin said nothing to Andrew, which he thought odd. He wondered where Eden was.

  When Catherine joined him, he led her out of the house and toward a large oak tree. “Let’s sit down, shall we?” he asked.

  When Catherine had been seated, Andrew sat beside her and took her hand. He noticed Catherine smile when he did. She wasn’t going to make this easy.

  “I have to be honest with you,” he began. “I thought you and I would suit, but now I know we never will. We've absolutely nothing in common, and…I…I did something I hadn’t planned on—I fell in love with someone before you arrived.”

  “Is that why you've been playing games by forgetting to show up and just being a…a—”

  “Jackass,” he finished for her. “Yes. I didn’t have the heart to do then what I’m doing now. I don’t like hurting feelings or breaking promises. I’d hoped you’d be the one to break off our commitment.”

  “It’s Eden, isn’t it?” she asked.

  He looked her straight in the eyes. “Yes, it is, but I swear it wasn’t intentional. In fact, we disliked each other from the start but circumstances pushed us together and…well, I fell in love with her.”

  “Does she feel the same way?” Catherine asked.

  “I’m fairly sure she does.”

  “That’s rather unfortunate then,” Catherine said.

  “Yes, and I’m sorry. I’m sorrier than you’ll ever know, Catherine.”

  “That’s not the unfortunate part, at least, not all of it. I feel badly that we have to part— I’m not getting any younger and I do want to be a mother. It will take me years to find another opportunity. I've already put a year into our relationship as it is.”

  “I could marry you, but I don’t think either of us would be happy,” Andrew said.

  “I wouldn’t want a wedding based on pity. The other reason it’s unfortunate is because Eden is gone.”

  “Gone?” He sprang to his feet. “What do you mean, gone?”

  “Eden got on a train yesterday. She told me she’d never meant to stay here long. I lent her the money.”

  Andrew rubbed his temples. “No!”

  “I really think it’s for the best, Andrew,” Catherine said.

  “Best? Best for whom?”

  “You and I,” Catherine said. “You said you met her on the train, but I have a feeling there was more to it. And the way you looked at her—I just knew there was no way you’d even try to get to know me as long as she stayed here. I gave her the money. I wanted her to leave.”

  Andrew just stared at Catherine. “You sent her away?”

  “No,” Catherine laughed nervously. “I didn’t send her away—she wanted to leave but didn’t have the money to make it happen.”

  Andrew grabbed Catherine’s shoulders. “You have to tell me where she went. Where was she heading?”

  “Denver. Andrew, you proposed to me by letter and I accepted. You sent me a ticket out here and here I am. I’m thirty years old and I want a husband and children. This is my only chance.” She took his face in her hands. “We can make this work!”

  Andrew removed her hands and backed away. “No.”

  “I can’t believe you’re doing this to me, Andrew.”

  “Would you really want to marry a man who’s in love with someone else? She might be gone from Hays, but she’s still in my heart,” Andrew said as he ran back to the house, hopped onto his horse, and galloped away.

  Martin
emerged from the shrubbery as she walked slowly to the house and walked with her.

  “He’s going after her, you know.”

  Catherine wiped a tear from her cheek. “I know.”

  “Why do you think Andrew was your last chance at marriage?”

  “I’m already thirty.”

  “I’m thirty-two,” Martin said. “My wife died two years ago, and I’ve never considered remarrying, but it had nothing to do with my age. Age is just a number.”

  “You heard our conversation?”

  “Most of it.”

  “In a way I’m disappointed,” she said, “but in another way, I’m relieved.”

  “I agree with Andrew: we don’t suit, but I was determined to make it work because I want children so badly. I’ve taught children for the last ten years and I love them. I want a whole house full of them. My doctor told me the older I get the harder it will be to conceive and deliver a child.”

  “Thirty isn’t that old, Catherine. You still have plenty of time,” Martin said.

  “Catherine, do you remember the verse we talked about last night?”

  “Which one? We talked about several.”

  “'Ask and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock and it shall be opened onto you.' Matthew 7, verses 7-8.”

  “So, if I ask God to send me a man to love—one that suits—he’ll send him?”

  “If it be His will,” Martin said. “People are always asking me why I don’t remarry. I keep telling them: when God wants me to marry again, he’ll send me someone.”

  “But how will you know who she is?”

  Martin laughed. “I’ll know.”

  “Martin?”

  “Yes, Catherine,” he said, opening the door to the house for her.

  “Thank you.” She got up on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek.

  Chapter 17

  Andrew approached the clerk at the train depot and asked frantically, “When did the train to Denver leave?”

  “Do you mean a train going in that direction? Our trains have many destinations,” he replied dryly.

  “All right, in that direction! When!”

  “Let me check,” he said, looking down a long list. “I was off yesterday. Ah, here it is. It left yesterday, at two in the afternoon.”

  “Thank you,” Andrew said as he scurried toward his horse. How was he supposed to catch up with a train that left yesterday? He could hop on another train or he could ride like the wind and try to catch her in Denver. It would be a long ride, taking him weeks by horse, and one horse just wouldn’t make it. He rushed back into the depot.

  “When is the next train going to…I mean, going in the direction of Denver?”

  “There’s one due any minute. It’ll rest here for fifteen minutes and then be on its way.”

  Andrew dug into his pocket and discovered he didn’t have enough to cover the ticket. “I’ll be right back.”

  He ran across the street and down the block to the bank, withdrew enough money, sure to take enough for the trip home, hopefully for two. Andrew heard the train whistle as he ran back to the depot. He purchased a sandwich from a vendor at the station after he'd bought a ticket to Denver. Andrew boarded the train, worried that he’d forgotten to tell anyone where he was going. He’d have to wire Ross from the first rest stop with a Western Union.

  Martin was standing waist-deep in the Smoky Hill River, holding Catherine. Addie, Sam, and Fiona watched as he dunked her into the river. “I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit,” he said. As Martin lifted her out of the water, one of the church elders handed him a towel. He patted her face dry and said, “Congratulations, Catherine.”

  Addie ran up, threw a blanket over Catherine, and they watched as two men were baptized. “Are you cold, dear?” she asked.

  “No. I feel so…I don’t know. I have no words for how I feel. Euphoric is close, I guess,” Catherine said. “I feel like I love everyone in the world and everything in it.”

  Addie smiled and hugged her. “I know. I’ve been there.”

  “You son is blessed, Addie. This is all his doing. I'm so thankful I landed here, even though things didn’t work out with Andrew. I’m saved, and I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life,” she said.

  “I’m glad you found us, too,” Addie said.

  “Now, I have to think about my future. I need to find a teaching job and make it my life. Marriage and babies aren’t for everyone and maybe it isn’t what God wants for me, but I can’t stay with you and Martin too much longer. I need to make my way in the world myself.”

  “I’ll do everything in my power to help you find your path in life, Catherine,” Addie said.

  Martin sat in his study, about to begin writing his sermon for the following week, but instead, he found himself gazing out the window, thinking about Catherine’s baptism. He’d never felt this way after any of his other baptisms. She wasn’t the first one he’d led to God, nor was she the first one he'd ever baptized, yet this one had given him a warm feeling that puzzled him until he remembered something from a few years ago.

  Martin had met his wife through his college roommate, Henry. He’d often spent weekends and holidays at his family's home in Missouri. He clearly recalled the day he knew he was in love with Henry’s kid sister, Mary. She'd been singing a solo in church. Her voice was clear and sweet, and he felt the very same feeling then that he’d felt while baptizing Catherine. After he'd heard Mary’s solo that day, he began to court her, and he eventually married her; he’d loved her deeply.

  Martin had been so sure that such strong feelings only came once in a lifetime— could it be that someone could experience love twice? He wasn’t sure if he loved Catherine, but he did feel drawn to her. Because he was unsure of how she felt, it made it difficult to decide if he should act on it or not. He knew she liked him and enjoyed his company, but had it been because he was her minister and had led her to God? If he'd step out of his role as minister and into that of suitor, would it change how she felt about him? He feared leaving the security of his role as her mentor.

  He tried to recall how he'd moved from being a friend of Mary’s brother to being her suitor. He’d asked her to the May Day dance at his college, and she’d agreed. What could he ask Catherine to attend with him? He needed to find out if he had the same feelings for her as he'd once had for Mary. Had God sent him another wife to love?

  Martin threw his pen down and stood. No sense in trying to write when he couldn’t concentrate. He looked at his pocket watch. It was nearly lunchtime anyway. He left his office, strolled down the hall, and into the kitchen.

  His mother wasn’t cooking; she was packing a basket with food.

  “What’s that for?” Martin asked.

  “It's such a lovely day today, I thought we’d have a picnic lunch. It's mid-August, and you know these gorgeous days will soon be gone,” Addie said.

  “Who’s we?” Martin peeked inside the basket.

  “You, me, and Catherine, silly,” Addie replied. “I thought about asking Fiona and Sam, but they’d just kiss all over the place and put us all off our lunch.” She winked.

  “I love that they’re finally in love. I was worried about them,” Martin said. “I prayed so hard for a happy ending.”

  “They were meant for each other. I think God takes care of his own, don’t you?”

  “Of course, I do,” Martin said.

  “Hi!” Catherine said from the doorway. “What’s going on?”

  “We’re going to have a picnic lunch,” Martin told her.

  “Oh, how delightful!” Catherine clapped her hands together. “By the river, I hope?”

  “That’s exactly where I’d planned it,” Addie said, throwing some napkins into the basket and closing the lid. “Can you get one of the hands to hitch up the buggy, Martin?”

  “Sure,” he answered and moved toward the door, when it came flying open. “Fiona!”

  “Mother, can you come to o
ur place right away?” Fiona cried frantically.

  “What’s wrong?” Addie asked.

  “One of our calves is in labor, Sam is in Victoria, and I don’t know what to do.”

  “Martin, have my horse saddled, too, while you’re getting the buggy hitched,” Addie said.

  She turned to Catherine, “You and Martin go on the picnic. If I get finished at Sam and Fiona’s in time, I’ll join you.”

  “All right,” Catherine agreed. She turned to Fiona, “I hope your calf is fine, it’ll be in good hands with Addie.”

  As Martin drove the buggy to the river with Catherine beside him, he wondered if this golden opportunity was his mother’s doing or God’s? Regardless, he’d make the best of it.

  He parked the buggy and went around to assist Catherine. Had she held onto his shoulders a bit longer than necessary, when he lifted her to the ground, or had he imagined it? He guided Catherine by her elbow to the green area where he spread out the blanket and set the basket on the far side of it so she’d have no choice but to sit beside him.

  Once they were both seated, Martin asked, “Are you hungry?”

  “A bit. Because I feel so comfortable with you, I’d like to do something very unethical and scandalous first.”

  Martin’s heart thumped wildly in his chest. “Like what?”

  She gave him a mischievous look. “I want to…” she blushed, and Martin could barely breathe for the anticipation of her next words, “remove my shoes and stockings so I can wade into the river.”

  Martin smiled despite his disappointment, sure she'd been about to ask for a kiss.

  “I see no reason why we both can’t,” he said.

  Catherine moved behind some bushes to remove her stockings, while Martin kicked off his shoes and stockings and stood. Catherine joined him, carrying her shoes and stockings.

  “You know, Catherine,” Martin said, “the river currents can be quite strong. We’ll have to hold hands for safety.”