Knowing Her

by Raquel De Leon

  It was still something Teresa missed, though admittedly, Holly’s need had generally been of a baser variety.

  She grimaced, wishing her recollections of Holly weren’t so fresh. The thoughts were becoming less frequent, but it was still a battle.

  “Not that face,” Vivian gently chided as she chopped some vegetables.

  Teresa obliged by contorting her face more and sticking out her tongue.

  “Mm,” Vivian murmured around a smile, “much better.”

  On a raised footstool next to Vivian, Makayla giggled. Teresa thought she looked adorable in a pair of overalls and a red shirt with a single rounded yellow star in the middle, her hair done up in two fluffy, curly pigtails. Some of the red sauce had made it to both her tan cheeks, coincidentally in the shape of the curved edge of the spoon she was stirring with.

  “How’s the sauce?” Teresa asked with a grin.

  “Great!” Makayla pursed her lips and stirred a few times more. “I think it’s done.”

  “You’ve tasted it?” Vivian asked, not looking up from preparing the vegetables.

  “Yes ma’am.”

  Makayla looked so serious that Teresa considered buying her a toque blanche. Teresa leaned forward, bracing her elbow on the kitchen bar and resting her chin in her hand. When she and Vivian were kids, their mom had gotten them both one. Teresa had loved dressing up to help in the kitchen; with all three of them in the same ‘uniform’, she’d always felt like she was exactly where she was supposed to be.

  Hesitant, she waited a moment. “How’s Mom?”

  Vivian paused in layering the vegetables into a ceramic dish, her eyes flickering to Teresa’s. “As good as can be expected for this time of year.”

  Teresa tried not to flinch. She hadn’t been a practicing Catholic in decades, and yet she could never outrun the guilt. July would bring the anniversary of when she’d run away. She swallowed. “I’m sorry, Viv. I’m just not ready yet. There’s so much going on right now.”

  “Kayla, honey, why don’t you go see what your Aunt April is up to? We’re finished here.”

  Putting her wooden spoon down on the counter, Makayla’s pink tongue poked out as she took the single step down to the ground. “Okay. Thanks for letting me help cook dinner!”

  Vivian bent to kiss her forehead, smoothly flipping the end of her apron up to wipe Makayla’s cheeks. “Of course, sweetie.”

  They both waited for Makayla to scamper away before resuming their conversation.

  “I’m not pressuring you, Teresa. I know you need to come out on your own terms.” Vivian walked around so she was sitting on the stool next to Teresa. She gently reached out and squeezed Teresa’s upper arm. “I just know Mom will be so happy to have you home.”

  Teresa licked her lips, her stomach roiling. “And Dad?”

  Vivian sighed and dropped her hand. She studied the counter for a few seconds. “Daddy loves you. He might not understand everything, but he wouldn’t do anything to lose you again.” She met Teresa’s eyes. “He changed after you left.”

  “How was he when you came out?” Teresa heard herself ask as if from far away. Their father was a good man, though more traditional than their mother. When she was little, he had made an effort to set aside time for the family. As she’d grown, she could recall being alternately ignored in favor of the restaurant and vaguely lectured on what it meant to ‘be a man’—not that that had ever made sense to her.

  “Quiet, at first. He didn’t seem angry or disappointed. More… confused. Bisexual meant I could still settle down with a man, you know?” Vivian chuckled. “He told me he loved me, and he just wanted me to be happy. If it’s any comfort, he’s thrilled I’m with April.”

  Teresa hesitantly smiled. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah. April’s a good person, and she brought Makayla into all our lives.” Vivian bit her lip. “We all do volunteer work every year for Pride. The last few Mom and Dad have even been sponsors and gone to a few charity events.”

  “Oh.” Teresa held her breath, wondering if they could have accidentally run into one another at some point. “That’s very,” she swallowed, “supportive of them.”

  Once again, Vivian met her eyes. “Yeah. Mama actually volunteers year-round, usually at the youth shelters, finding jobs and homes for homeless teens.”

  Teresa blinked. “She’s not cooking anymore?”

  “Not like she used to. She and Daddy kind of stepped away from the business a couple of years after you left.”

  It was anathema to her. Her parents had loved their restaurant, devoting countless hours to it while she and Vivian had been watched by cousins, aunts, and uncles. “Lian never told me that.”

  Vivian tilted her head, a soft smile on her face. “Knowing Lian, she’s probably been very careful about not wanting to pressure you. Mom and Dad love her too, you know. She’s worked with me since I started MBI, and is the main reason Mom volunteers to host parties for the company. Lian’s got an open invitation to all the big family events, and joins us for the annual volunteer projects, too.”

  “Huh.” Teresa sighed and looked away. “Well, um, maybe we can talk about Mom and Dad some more in a couple of weeks.” It was the best she could do.

  “If that’s what you want. Now, I should tell you about Zoe’s coming out.”

  Teresa’s eyes widened. “I knew it! She was always staring at my girlfriend!”

  “Well, her coming out actually involves Chuy’s first girlfriend.”

  Chapter Seven

  The sun was low and heavy in the sky by the time the subject of Lian’s investigation made an appearance outside the motel. Lian methodically took pictures, ignoring the sweat dampening the fabric of her shirt and slacks. Spousal disputes were her least favorite kind of cases, but she couldn’t think of anyone at MBI who liked taking on the work. They took turns rotating through such cases, as was fair.

  It seemed Lian would be able to wrap her case up soon. She’d been hired to follow the husband around for a week, and in four days had already accumulated enough photos to satisfy three clients. The philandering husband had been with a different woman for each visit to the motel. Lian had suspicions, given how unpleasant he seemed, that the women he met were being paid for their time. She wouldn’t dig into that; it wasn’t her job. The wife just wanted proof that her husband had violated their prenuptial agreement to keep her estate intact.

  Lian had technically fulfilled that requirement, she concluded as she locked the camera back in her glove box. She didn’t want to waste more of her time and the client’s money, or to compromise women simply trying to make ends meet. With a quick call, she made an appointment to meet her client in the morning. She confirmed the husband’s car was no longer in the lot before starting her own, breathing a silent sigh of relief once the air conditioner started up. She raised her windows and turned the radio on.

  Just as she was securing the seatbelt, her phone rang.

  She smiled upon seeing Teresa’s name. “Hey,” she greeted once the call connected.

  “Hey. I hope I didn’t catch you at a bad time.”

  Deciding to hold off on pulling into traffic, Lian leaned back in her seat. “Not at all. Your timing is perfect, actually. I just finished for the day.”

  “Great! Want to meet me for dinner somewhere?”

  “What about Artemis?” Lian folded her hands in her lap. No matter where they ate, they always seemed to get caught up talking about one thing or another. Once or twice, Teresa had failed to get home to Artemis in a reasonable amount of time and had felt horrible about it.

  Teresa chuckled. “No worries there. She’s been catnapped for a sleepover with Makayla’s friends. I think Makayla is angling to talk April and Vivian into getting a pet.”

  “Why do I get the feeling that would only mean she’d want to steal Artemis more? I can picture her staring up at you with those big eyes, reminding you how lonely Artemis must be without friends.” Lian wasn’t teasing Teresa; she was just as sus
ceptible to Makayla’s charm as anyone else. “Either way, I don’t think April will do it until she and Vivian are officially living together.”

  “It would make sense. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for ‘Kayla.” Teresa gently cleared her throat. “I ran into Holly today.”

  Lian glared at something in the distance. “Oh?”

  “She stopped by about one of our patients—a referral from her hospital. She approached me because there’s a symposium for breast imaging in Baltimore in a couple of weeks. We’d planned to drive there together, make a romantic weekend out of it. She told me that she cancelled the B&B we were going to stay at along the way.”

  “Couldn’t she just text you that? I’d think that would be a given.” Lian narrowed her eyes. No doubt Holly had been hoping Teresa would change her mind.

  Teresa sighed. “I don’t know. I took the time to remind her that I wouldn’t be sharing my hotel room in Baltimore with her anymore.”

  The admission had Lian consciously un-hunching her shoulders, which she hadn’t realized had tensed. “That’s good.”

  “Yeah,” Teresa agreed, her voice low and soft.

  Lian sucked her teeth. “Why don’t we just hang out at your apartment? I’ll pick up something on the way so you can get into your cozy pajamas. We’ll both gorge ourselves and be comfortable while we do it.”

  Teresa’s full, hearty laughter filled the speakers of Lian’s car. Her skin prickled as goosebumps formed, and she found herself smiling.

  “Sounds perfect.”

  “Yeah.” Lian shook herself. “See you in an hour, tops.”

  “See you then.”

  As soon as the call ended, Lian used voice commands to contact a local Turkish restaurant. It was a place Teresa loved, having discovered the food to be from a region she’d had a chance to visit. Lian liked it too, but she mostly enjoyed seeing how happy it made Teresa.

  Once the food was ordered, she called Caroline.

  “Hey, Carol,” she said as soon as the call was picked up.

  “Hey, Lian. I don’t have a lot of time. What’s up?”

  “Nothing, just letting you know I’ll be home late.”

  “Teresa’s again?” Caroline asked with a smile in her voice.

  Lian rolled her eyes, her lips slightly curved up. “Yeah.”

  “Alright. Have fun.”

  “Will do.” Lian ended the call and shook her head. Caroline was thrilled she had been spending time with a “real” friend, whatever that meant. She wasn’t spending time with Teresa for Caroline’s approval, though Lian did admit it was a relief not to hear more subtle lectures about her social life. Caroline wasn’t nearly as bad as the rest of their family could be, but it did still bother her from time to time.

  She arrived at the restaurant earlier than she anticipated. Of course, traffic would be easier on her when she didn’t need it to. With a mental shrug, she took a seat inside and perused random things on her phone. A thought struck her, and she did a quick search. Once she’d found Letters from Sappho, she’d chanced a survey of their blog out of idle curiosity. The search results had what she was looking for three links in. As she examined some of the posts on the band’s blog, she smiled. Her memory had served her correctly.

  Her name was announced. She pocketed her phone and stood, her smile lingering. She hoped the simple, pleasant night would allow Teresa to forget any negative feelings brought on by reminders of Holly. That Teresa had let Makayla have Artemis was a good sign. Artemis was like a living, breathing, affectionate security blanket for Teresa.

  She paid and silently hoped traffic would continue to go her way.

  ***

  “What is the heat index,” Teresa answered just before one of the contestants did. She was slumped against the back of the couch, arms curled across her abdomen.

  To her right, Lian groaned. Lian was similarly slumped, her feet braced against the lower rail of the coffee table. “I’m too full to think.”

  Teresa chuckled and crossed her legs at the ankle. “Maybe it wouldn't feel as bad if you'd stopped to change on your way over.” It was an old tank top and baggy PJs kind of night for Teresa; she felt only marginally self-conscious next to Lian's black slacks and pastel blue button-up.

  “Too much effort,” Lian grumbled good-naturedly as she interlaced her hands over her stomach. Her eyelids began to droop.

  Teresa bit her lip as she examined Lian’s struggle. She forced her attention back to the TV and quietly cleared her throat. “What is havoc,” she whispered when she read the category on-screen.

  When a light snore was the only commentary from Lian, Teresa grinned, happy to let her friend rest. It was an old episode of Jeopardy anyway.

  She let her mind roam as the show continued, hesitantly focusing on her upcoming trip. The symposium was just for one day, but she’d booked two nights at the hotel. There was a nice dinner scheduled after the meeting, and she and Holly had previously planned to play tourist the following day. The romantic four-day weekend would be turning into a lonely three-day trip.

  Teresa resolved not to drink the night of the dinner; she had no doubt Holly would be there, charm utilized to the max. Though Teresa liked to think of herself as a decent person, she worried that she would do something regrettable. Alcohol and loneliness were a terrible mix.

  The alert for double jeopardy made her jerk in surprise. The sound, in combination with her abrupt movement, disturbed Lian’s rest.

  “Did I fall asleep?” came Lian’s mumbled question.

  Her hair was sticking up on one side since she’d been leaning against the couch arm. Teresa rolled her lips together to hide a smile, a warm feeling growing in her chest. Lian looked adorable, but she wouldn’t mention that. “Maybe a little.”

  “Ugh. Don’t let me do that.” Lian sat up straighter, one hand rubbing her eyes.

  Teresa made a noncommittal noise in her throat. She liked that Lian felt relaxed enough to doze off on her couch. It made her think of how she’d coaxed Artemis into living with her. In the beginning, Artemis had been a standoffish street cat. It had taken weeks of patience and food, but Teresa could still remember the first time Artemis had trusted her enough to fall asleep in her presence. The similarity to Lian was obvious, though she wondered if Lian would be amused or insulted with the comparison.

  “Oh, hey, what exact days are you going to be in Baltimore?”

  “What?” Teresa blinked hard, puzzling over the non sequitur.

  Lian smiled sheepishly. “So, remember the band from Pride? They’re going to be playing in Baltimore a couple of nights in a few weeks. I thought, since you had to change your plans anyway, that could be something you might want to go to.”

  “I’m driving down the first weekend in August.” Teresa perked up. She was due a little good luck, wasn’t she?

  Lian’s smile widened. “They have shows three nights in a row starting on Thursday. You could go Friday or Saturday.”

  Teresa grinned, her interest growing. “Well, there’s a dinner Friday night, so Saturday would be better.” Her enthusiasm began to wane. “I had been just thinking about cutting my trip short, though. I’m not sure I want to stay in Baltimore an extra day and night, especially since Holly is going to be there.”

  “You know for sure she’s going?” Lian asked with a frown.

  “Yeah.” Teresa nodded and silently wished Artemis was in her lap. “I’m just worried I’ll do something dumb around her.”

  Lian sucked in an audible breath and glanced away. Her frown deepened, then cleared when she returned her attention to Teresa. “Why don’t I come with you? I really liked that band, too.”

  “Oh, no, you don’t have to do that, Lian. I don’t mind cutting my trip short.” Teresa’s cheeks felt hot with embarrassment. She’d obviously been too needy if Lian thought she couldn’t handle one silly trip alone.

  “No, seriously. If it’s cool with you, I want to come.” Lian forced a cough into her fist. “Plus, your sister�
�s been bugging me to take some time off for a while. Cutting out on a Friday might be a good start. The notices have been getting kind of annoying.”

  Teresa sat up and stared at Lian. “What do you mean? Lian, when’s the last time you took a day off?”

  Lian winced and rubbed the back of her neck. “A few years ago, when my sister ended up in the hospital.”

  “How American of you,” Teresa said dryly. She’d had the opportunity to work abroad and had quickly realized many other westernized countries had much better habits when it came to vacation time. “I absolutely insist you come with me, then. I booked a room with two beds, but it’s alright if you want to see if there are rooms available near mine. However, I know there’s a lot of events going on around the same time as my conference. Our organizer had a hard time finding a location for us.”