Fire & Ice (Book of Shadows)
Page 11
“These red rose petals signify the passion of our love,” I said, beginning the ritual I’d written. “As we mix these petals together, our hearts will become as one.” We layered them together until there were no more left on the stems.
Lifting the wine bottle I’d swiped from the supply Marsha and I kept, I poured some into a silver chalice and took a large drink. Turning the cup in a half turn, I handed it to Portia so she could drink from the same spot. After she had swallowed, she held the goblet back out to me, but I covered her hands with my own and guided her to pour the small remaining amount of wine into the crystal dish with the petals.
“This wine symbolizes our intent to keep our relationship in harmony.” I thought I’d be more nervous, but now that this was started, I’d never felt surer about anything in my life. My magic pulsed inside me, as if it too recognized Portia as my other half.
We set the chalice down together, and using magic, I caused the wicks of two candles on the table to burst to life. She followed my actions knowingly, no instruction needed, and we each took one and together lit the third, and largest, candle. Replacing the smaller ones, I lifted this candle and walked around the interior of the flaming circle three times.
“This flame represents the uniting of our souls as one,” I said, rehearsing the words and actions I’d so firmly committed to my memory. There would be no chance of error with this spell. I’d made certain. Placing it back on the table, I took my athame, pricking my finger until a single drop of blood to fell into the crystal dish. Turning the knife, I held the handle out to Portia so she could do the same.
“We have sealed our desires with our blood,” I stated after her blood fell, mixing with mine. Taking her hands, I guided her around the table until we were standing toe to toe. Continuing to hold her by one hand, I gathered a small length of flaxen rope, wrapping one end around her wrist and the other around mine.
“Portia Mullins, Blessed Be.
I give now, my heart to thee.”
My heart was pounding so hard, the emotion inside me seeming as if it would burst from out of my skin. Barely contained, it raged like an inferno inside me.
“My soul is yours to bind and take,
My love for you will never shake.”
Keeping my eyes locked with hers, I let my love pour into her, needing her to feel my energy.
“I promise to always keep you pure,
And never into evil lure.”
These words where so important to me. With my past haunting me, I wanted her to know she could trust me to keep her safe.
“Let Heaven be our destiny,
I love you, Portia, So Mote It Be.”
Baring my soul to her, I immediately noticed the tearful reaction as her eyes watered, and she blinked rapidly several times before she spoke the words back to me.
“Vance Mangum, Blessed Be.
I give now, my heart to thee.”
Something tightened inside my chest, and a tug on the link between us suddenly grew stronger. The magic was working. I could feel it.
“My soul is yours to bind and take,
My love for you will never shake.”
Wave after wave of her love rippled out from inside her, and I was amazed by the power of it. She loved me—heart and soul.
“I promise to always keep you pure,
And never into evil lure.
Let Heaven be our destiny,
I love you, Vance, So Mote It Be.”
It was all I could do not to gather her into my arms at that moment. Our bodies were practically humming with connection, but I knew I needed to finish the spell to cement everything together.
Removing the rope, I tied it around the large pillar candle and lifted a few of the rose petals from the bowl, pressing them into the hot wax, sealing them there. Using my powers, I swirled the items in the crystal bowl together, sending the mixture far above us before releasing the magic and allowing the flower petals to slowly drift toward the earth, floating down around us.
My own eyes felt moist as I anchored her against me, and giving her a very long kiss that I didn’t feel the need to end. Our hearts began beating together as one, in exactly the same rhythm, and I could feel her pulse everywhere I touched. Kissing her cheeks, eyes, neck—even the strands of hair running through my fingers, I couldn’t seem to get enough of her.
“It’s finished,” I said, smiling widely, my heart pounding erratically as I stared at her. She was truly mine, now. Bound by love and magic and nothing could ever take her away from me. Nothing. “I love you, Portia.”
“I love you too, Vance,” she replied, her eyes glittering happily as her sweet energy flowed through me.
Consumed by my need for her, I pulled her closer and kissed her, again.
Chapter Fourteen
Journal Entry:
Sometimes I doubt myself and wonder if I did something wrong. I didn’t factor in how strong our connection already was and now we are connected in ways that are . . . well . . . painful. I don’t know how to fix it, but we are both suffering and I hate knowing she hurts because of something I asked her to do.
Consequences: a word often used to describe the reaction or outcome of another action. It is rarely used in positive light, and it’s definitely what Portia and I are currently tormented with—consequences.
***
I could feel Portia right now, curled on her bed in a ball with her arms wrapped tightly around herself as she tried to hold it all together. It only served to double my own pain, which mirrored hers exactly. Vaguely, I wondered if this was what drug addicts felt like when they were going through withdrawals. Aching, with such a sick feeling inside of me, I was quickly concluding I must have done something very wrong when we performed the binding ritual. Physically, it hurt to be away from one another.
Managing to hide our problem from everyone around us had taken some extreme effort and Academy Award winning acting on both our parts during the last week. Even though I was in pain, I felt worse knowing Portia was suffering. My primary focus became trying to relieve her from this burden I’d unintentionally brought upon her. The two of us did virtually everything possible to stay together. Each evening I’d “leave” her house for the night, only to crawl into her bedroom window a couple of hours later.
This was the situation I found myself in right now. The gap in time before I managed to arrive back by her side was so incredibly nauseating. I didn’t know how much more we could take. There was an actual physical pull with the sensation; so strong, I could almost sense the very direction she was in at times.
Relief flooded my mind when I lifted the sash to climb into her room. Portia raised her head to look at me, the strain on her features obvious. Reaching the bed in two strides, I gathered her into my arms.
And just like that, the pain was gone—instantly—as if someone had flipped a switch. But as quickly as it departed, a new sensation replaced it. Portia had taken to aptly describing it as liquid fire, because our veins sizzled when we touched.
Giving in to the moment, I crushed my mouth to hers, kissing her hotly, which both soothed and aggravated the molten passionate sensations running through us. Desire for her poured from me, and I pulled her body tighter to mine, almost wishing there was some way I could permanently blend the two of us together. With great effort, I dragged away from the kiss.
“I’m sorry you’re hurting so badly,” I said, frowning as I traced my fingers lightly across her face. Her pulse rate increased even more and I sighed. No matter what I did, it drove her crazy, exactly like she was doing to me.
“You’re hurting too,” she reminded me, even though I didn’t need it. She reached to smooth the worry lines in my brow with her finger. “I think we need some help. It’s not getting better like you hoped it would.”
“I know.” Taking her hand in mine, I brought it to my mouth and kissed the finger she’d been stroking me with. “I’m thinking we should go talk to your grandma tomorrow. What do you think?”
Sliding one of my hands over her hair, I smoothed her tangles in a gentle caress. I quickly leaned in to kiss her cheek before getting up and moving to the head of the bed, pulling the covers down and then patting her spot.
“Climb in. You look exhausted. I promise I’ll tuck you in all nice and comfy.”
She smiled and I couldn’t help returning it as she did what I asked, giggling when I lifted the covers to her chin and tucked them around her shoulders. Those few blankets were the only source of protection she had against me right now. I needed them to be between us.
Joining her, I lay on the top of the covers, draping an arm across her well-bundled body. She gave a moan of contentment and snuggled in closer to me, her eyes drooping heavily. I could feel my body relaxing too. We were both exhausted.
“Goodnight, Vance,” she whispered.
“Goodnight Portia,” I replied, allowing myself to drift. “I love you.”
---
Entering the store, we didn’t see Milly, so we headed into the back room and found her working at her mixing table. She glanced at us, her gaze traveling over us both quizzically before she stood.
“Ah! A binding spell, I see!”
This was why she was such a good witch and Priestess of the coven. She recognized magic quickly. I was banking on her expertise to help us out now.
“Is it that obvious?” Portia asked, continuing to grip my arm as if her life depended on it. Not that I minded at all, I loved feeling her next to me.
“So obvious I wonder why I didn’t feel it when you walked through the front door,” Milly replied, gesturing toward the table as she continued to observe us. “Here. Come sit with me. It’s a very strong spell. Did you work it, Vance?”
I nodded. “I don’t recall ever hearing of anyone experiencing a binding this strong. Did I do something wrong?” I really hoped she’d be able to help us. The strain was becoming so difficult, not to mention my own personal guilt for putting Portia through this. Yes, I wanted to be bound to her. No, I didn’t want that binding to feel like it was going to eat her from the inside out.
“No, I doubt that,” she replied, shaking her head as she continued to study us carefully, as if she were trying to read the magical auras around us. “For some reason, the two of you have an extremely strong connection. The power of your magic is intensifying the spell exponentially, I’d imagine.”
“It isn’t always a bad thing,” Portia said, glancing at me apologetically, before she continued. “It’s just when we’re apart, I feel like I’m going to die or something.”
Milly laughed. “Well, dear. What’s done is done. That’s the trouble with spells. Sometimes you don’t really know what the end result will be. The two of you are going to have to find a way to make things work for yourselves. I imagine you’ll eventually become used to the intensity of the feelings you’re having, probably to the point they’ll almost seem second nature to you. Your bodies should physically adjust to it, a new normal so to speak.” She gave a slight shrug. “I wish I could help you more until then, but I have a feeling you two are something special. Vance’s magic manifesting at such a young age, and you having an instant comprehension of your powers is unusual. Together you make a very powerful couple. This is uncharted water for me, I’m afraid.”
My heart fell at her words and I squeezed Portia’s hand in an attempt to reassure her. “We’ll be fine. I know it.” I felt terrible.
“I know we will. I just wish you could always be with me. The longing is driving me crazy!”
Her exasperation was obvious, but I leaned over and kissed her, anyway. It proved the wrong thing to do, though, as I instantly needed more and so did she. Our arms tangled together as we pulled at each other, desperate to get as close as possible. Heat streaked through me, causing my pulse to race even faster.
“Okay! Enough! You two are making me blush!” Milly laughed, turning away from us to avoid our public display of affection and covering her eyes with her hands. Portia and I quickly broke apart, smiling.
“Sorry,” I apologized, dragging a hand shakily through my hair. This whole thing between Portia and me was growing beyond awkward, and it seemed as if we were both starting to come apart at the seams. I didn’t know what to do, but I was pretty sure my desire to keep kissing my beautiful girlfriend was only going to compound the problem.
Milly gave a wave of dismissal. “Don’t worry about it,” she said, smiling, before cocking her head to the side and staring at us again. “On second thought, I do have one suggestion that may help you.”
“Let’s hear it,” Portia said, the desperation in her voice obvious. We needed any help we could get—even if it meant grasping at straws.
“Do you still have the silver locket you kept Vance’s hair in for the ritual you performed?” she asked, referring to the first spell Portia had ever written. It had been a protection spell for me, and she’d carried a few clippings of my hair as part of it.
Portia nodded. “I do.”
Milly moved next to the cabinet, opening a drawer and removed another silver locket that was long and rectangular in shape. She handed it to me.
“I think you should clip a little of each other’s hair, and keep it in the lockets. Wear them all the time. This will keep a physical part of the two of you together. It won’t stop your feelings completely, but it may dampen things enough so that the separations aren’t quite as excruciating.”
The idea made perfect sense to me—so plainly simple that I mentally kicked myself for not thinking of something similar myself. “We’ll try it. Thanks for your help,” I replied. I’d do anything at this point. Something had to give.
“Let me know if it works.”
After thanking Milly for her help, Portia and I went back to her house to find her necklace. She dug out a pair of scissors and we proceeded to cut a few pieces of each other’s hair and placed them in the lockets.
“Shall we test it?” I asked, kissing her cheek softly after we had fastened them on. She leaned her head away, allowing me better access and I happily took full advantage of the offer, sliding my lips along the curve of her neck.
“No,” she mumbled, running her hand along my face and into my hair. “Not until we have to.” She moaned as I paused to place special attention to her collarbone, before dipping my tongue a bit lower. Her skin tasted so good.
“All right!” she said, shoving me away. I didn’t blame her—fully aware I’d been letting myself get out of control. “Let’s go watch some TV with my mom. There’s safety in numbers.”
Sighing, I followed behind, but didn’t touch her while I tried to get a handle on my rampant thoughts of what I’d rather be doing at this very moment. Purposely shielding my mind from Portia so she wouldn’t hear them, I could only imagine what Sean would do to me if he knew the things I was thinking.
Portia’s mom was sitting on the couch. Smiling as we walked in, she patted the seat beside her, inviting us to sit down.
“How’re you today, Vance?” she asked, politely.
“Very good, Mrs. Mullins. Thank you.” Other than the fact I wish I was stripping the clothes off your daughter right now, I’m great, I added to myself. Yeah, I definitely needed to rein it in.
“Call me Stacey,” she said with a smile, completely oblivious to my train of thought. “You’re family now, Vance.” Those words meant a lot to me, which only served to make me feel even more horrible about what I was thinking. I couldn’t break the trust of her parents—not after all this family had done for me.
We sat, and Portia snuggled into my arms, her cat, Jinx, hopping onto her lap and rubbing against us. Her cat liked me, which was a good thing, I guess, since animals are supposed to have a sixth sense about people. I stroked the kitty under her chin while Portia ran a hand across her back, making the white fur ball purr heavily. It wasn’t
long before Portia’s eyelids began to droop and she snuggled in closer to me.
“You need to go to bed, baby.” I brushed a hand through her hair, staring at her.
“I don’t want you to leave,” she mumbled softly, wrapping her arms around me.
“You need your sleep.”
“Go to bed, Portia,” Stacey broke in. “Let the poor boy go home. He looks exhausted!”
Even though I was tired, I still hated being parted from her—even for a short while, but I was afraid her mom wouldn’t understand my reasoning at all. Portia sighed and slowly rose, taking my hand and walking me to the front door. I opened it, but paused to kiss her heavily one more time before stepping through. “See you shortly,” I said, knowing it wouldn’t be soon enough.
Holding my breath, I watched as she closed the door behind me. Step after step, I waited for the nauseating feeling to consume me. Feeling the wave building, I expected the agony to crash over me, but it didn’t happen. Smiling to myself, I walked to my bike, starting the engine and headed toward home, relief flooding through me. The longing was definitely there, but easier somehow, not quite so intense. Maybe Milly’s plan would help us out after all. But even though the separation was easier on us, it wasn’t going to stop me from spending my nights with Portia. I still wanted to spend every possible second with her.
Waiting the two hours before Marsha went to sleep drove me insane, but as soon as she was out, I left and crawled through Portia’s window once more. She was sound asleep, a good indicator that this was working for her, as well. Keeping the quilt between us, I cuddled next to her and let sleep fully claim me.
Chapter Fifteen
Journal Entry:
I want her so badly—to be in her arms with nothing separating us—it has become consistently harder to maintain control when I’m with her. This is one thing I can’t fail at. I need to keep her safe—even if it’s from me.
***
Sean glanced around at the coven members gathered in the circle, concerned. “As you all know, I’ve been involved with laying a false trail that leads Vance’s father farther away from here. Things seemed to be going pretty well. I had him searching in an area back East and he’d been stationed there for quite a while. However, he seems to have vanished and I can’t find a trace of him anywhere. He had several followers working with him and they’re all gone too. I don’t know if he has any idea we were leading him astray, or if they simply left. They could be anywhere.”