Beyond The Collapse

by Kip Nelson

  “You're right when you say people can be vicious. I've never had the highest opinion of my fellow humans, but I didn't think things ever would get this bad over here. People began splitting into groups. Some people said they heard of a safe place, although I don't know how that rumor started because it was only the morning after. So, they left the city. Others feared another attack, so they wanted to find an underground bunker or something that would withstand whatever the enemy was going to fire at us. The rest of us just wanted to survive. I took Annabelle and we left all that craziness until we came here. I never was going to leave the city. I figured at least here there's shelter and there's food around, and if help was going to come, then I wanted to be there when it did.”

  “But it didn't.”

  “No, not a damn single thing. For a long time, people still hoped it would, in the first couple of weeks afterward. I think some people still hope it's going to happen now, but it's pretty clear that it's not. We're on our own here, and we just have to make the best of it. There were riots at first, but those calmed down as people realized there was no point in trying to steal expensive things because that didn't matter anymore. The real prizes were food. Annabelle and I stayed out on the streets for a while, living from building to building, until we came here.

  “I've seen enough bad things to last me a lifetime. So, all I want is to keep Annabelle safe, and maybe at some point in the future we all can find some way out of this mess, although I don't like our chances.”

  “And I thought I was the pessimistic one, but I know what you mean. It's not a nice place out there, and people are so scared. We ran into a family earlier, and they thought Peter and I were going to attack them. That was eye-opening. I always thought I was the one in danger. I never thought people would think I was the same as some of those crazy people out there. There was one guy in the woods as well, he was on his own. He had hanged himself. I guess that's happened a lot as well. Have you seen anything like that?”

  “A few, and it annoys me. People are resilient, you know? We adapt to different things and, yeah, this is hard, but we still can make it through. Just because the world ended doesn't mean we have to give up as well. I think people who do that are just cowards who need to realize that everyone needs help, and it's not all about them.” Adam remained silent as she said this, not wanting to admit that he too had considered killing himself, and that it was only Peter’s interference that had stopped him. He glanced at the sleeping man, and hoped he wouldn't let Adam's secret slip either.

  “But it's hard. I have to be extra careful with Annabelle as well. I know I can't protect her from everything, and I don't want to, because this is the way the world is, and she's going to have to live in it for longer than you and I will. Still, she's just a kid and there are some things that she doesn't have to know about just yet.” Diana said.

  “You seem to be doing well so far. She's handling this whole thing better than anyone else I've met.”

  “Yeah, well, I'm not sure how much of that is me and how much that is just her mind forming a coping mechanism. I've never had kids, you know, so I don't really know if what I'm doing is right, but I couldn't just leave her alone.”

  “Do you know what happened to her parents?”

  “No, that's something she won't even tell me. I figure she'll talk about it when the time is right, but it's not like there's a counselor here who can have sessions with her. I've tried hinting, but I don't want to force it. We all have crap that we don't want to share with anyone, so I'm just trying to make it through the days and we'll go from there. I don't suppose you have any advice?”

  “No, unfortunately, I've never really been that good with people, and I didn't have kids either. Still, I'm sure if you asked around there would be at least one person who could help. At least people here aren't rioting.”

  “In some ways I wish they were. It's so depressing seeing how some people just have given up and are waiting for life to be over. Things aren't great, but you have to take the joy where you can find it.”

  “So, how does it work around here anyway? Like, what's to stop you from coming back and finding that all your things have been taken?”

  “Nothing really. But people realize that anything they do to you, others can do to them, so you're mostly safe. Just don't leave anything valuable here. There are food stores down below, but I'll tell you how those work in the morning. Other than that, you just fend for yourself. Like I said earlier, don't get your hopes up that this is some kind of a new paradise because it's not. We're hanging onto life by our fingertips, but it's pretty much all we've got. So, I hope you're glad you joined us!”

  “I sure am,” Adam said, smiling at her.

  It was getting late. So, the two of them laid down with blankets wrapped over them. Adam stayed awake for a while, thinking about the day’s events. There were still so many things about the city that had yet to present themselves, such as that patrol he saw going by the cemetery. But he was glad he was in a safe space, and had not made a mistake in returning. This was the best thing for him and Peter, and he was glad he had met Annabelle and Diana. Annabelle was a delight, and although Diana had a sharp tongue, it was clear she had a kind heart.

  He didn't know what the following days held in store, but he was sure he would learn new things and perhaps even meet new people. He was glad to hear there were stores of food as well. Although he wondered how people managed to control themselves when everything was right there for the taking. That was a mystery that could be solved later, though. For now, he folded his hands under his head to form a makeshift pillow, and tried ignoring the harsh, hard comfort of the floor. He'd long gotten used to the smell of body odor. Then, he let sleep come upon him and welcome the new day. His dreams were silent, and although he was in a new environment, his body was so tired from walking that he fell asleep quite easily.

  The rest of the apartment complex slept soundly as well, but they were used to this environment. Just before he fell asleep Adam opened his eyes to look at Peter and his new friends. He felt relieved that the wheels of life seemed to be changing for the better.

  Chapter Twenty

  The following morning Adam awoke with a smile on his face. He had slept pleasantly for a few hours, and when his eyes opened it was to the sight of Diana. She looked beautiful as she lay sleeping, her long hair falling over her face, her chest rising and falling with every breath, and he was overwhelmed by his attraction to her. He thought back to what they had spoken about the previous night, and how she wasn't as cold at heart as he first had assumed. She began stirring, and Adam quickly pretended he just was waking up as well. He didn't want her to know he had been watching her sleep.

  He stretched out his arms and smiled at her.

  “How did you sleep?” he asked.

  “About the same as always. What about yourself?”

  “Eventually, it was alright. It took a bit of time getting used to hearing so many different people breathing rather than just Peter, but it was nice to be inside for a change.”

  Diana pushed herself up and rubbed her eyes, then checked on Annabelle, who still was sleeping soundly. “I always wonder what she dreams about. For a long time she had nightmares, but thankfully those seem to have stopped.”

  “It can't be easy for her to try making sense of all that's happening. I'm still having difficulty myself. Listen,” Adam said, and sidled towards her, “I was thinking last night about everything we talked about, and I wanted to thank you again, from the bottom of my heart. I know I may not have made the best first impression, but I am a good person. All I want to do is try helping people and making it through this terrible thing. I hope last night showed you that we can at least be friends. I know you have a kind heart, and I just think, well, you know, when you said we have to take joy wherever we can find it, that really struck a chord with me. I think in my life I was always waiting for things to be perfect, and for the perfect moment to do things. Although now I realize there never is goi
ng to be a perfect moment. You have to just do whatever you can when you can, so...” he said, and then went to embrace Diana. It was a rash move, but one that seemed to make sense to him.

  It didn't to Diana, though. She reeled back and pushed him away, looking at him with confusion, shaking her head.

  “What the hell are you doing?!” she said, straining her voice so that it wasn't loud enough to wake up Annabelle.

  “I thought there was a little moment between us,” Adam said, looking away from her in shame.

  He thought he could be like the heroes in his movies and take advantage of the moment. If he just had the confidence to try, Diana would respond in kind and appreciate that they had some level of attraction. Although now he felt foolish. He was right back in high school when he had asked Becky McGrath to dance and she had laughed in his face, then told all her friends about it. He felt about an inch tall.

  “You thought wrong,” Diana said harshly. “Just because it's the end of the world doesn't mean that's an excuse to start getting into a foolhardy romance. This isn't a movie. You're not all bad, but just because I showed you a little kindness doesn't mean I want to let you into my pants. I barely know anything about you!”

  “Okay, okay,” Adam said, holding up his hands in apology. “I'm sorry. I misread the situation. I've never been that good with women. It's kind of a shame that while the world has changed, I haven't,” he said, laughing to try defusing the tension. After this admission, Diana softened and looked at him with pity.

  “Look, you seem like a decent guy, but do you really think I'm in a position to want a relationship or anything like that? Besides, it's not as though this is the most private place, and I don't want any of that awkwardness. I can live without that drama for a little while. Anyway, I doubt you're exactly the same as you were before all this began. We all have to change if we're going to survive. That's just the way of the world.”

  “I guess,” Adam said, and then wanted to change the subject quickly to avoid any further embarrassment. “What's the plan from here? Like, do you expect to stay here for a while, or are you going to look for somewhere else to go?”

  “What do you want to do?” she replied.

  “I haven't really planned beyond a day or so. When I was in the city, I just wanted to get out, so Peter and I left. Then it was all about building a shelter and getting enough food day by day to live, but because we didn't know what we were going to find we couldn't plan beyond that. When we came back to the city, we just wanted to find some shelter and a safe place and maybe an established group to link up with that could help support us, and we've done that. So, I don't really know. There's so much uncertainty around, and there's so much I still don't know I find it difficult to make plans.”

  “You have to start thinking of the bigger picture. Otherwise, you're never going to get anywhere you want to. That's part of the problem with these people. It's all very well to think of your immediate needs, but without anything to work toward you'll start losing your sense of purpose. Let's go for a walk,” she said, and pushed herself up. Adam was surprised by how talkative she was being now compared with before. But then he thought that perhaps it was just because she had been keeping watch on all the dark corners of the city, and now that she was in a safe place she could relax.

  “Are you sure it's okay to leave Annabelle and Peter here?” Adam said as he rose as well.

  “Yeah, it's fine. Like I said, people here are mostly harmless, and if anything did happen, they know there would be consequences,” she said, with a menacing tone in her voice.

  Adam wondered if anyone had threatened Annabelle before, and if so, what had happened to them. It wouldn't have been anything pretty, of that he was certain. Diana certainly had a ruthless streak, and the only plan for the future he had was not getting on Diana’s bad side. The two of them left Annabelle and Peter sleeping, along with a few other people, and went exploring the apartment complex. It was early morning and a great many people were asleep, which was to be expected. The type of world in which they lived offered few things to do other than sleep, especially for those who had been pummeled by the sheer misery of it all.

  A few other people were awake, and some of them muttered greetings to Adam and Diana as they passed, but most of them were lost in their own world. Every one of them had been made homeless and had been forgotten by the world. They had lost everything had known and they were miserable. It was a sad sight, and one that was difficult for Adam to swallow. But he looked all the same, partly for Diana's sake, She obviously was trying to make a point, and partly for himself, because he didn't want to ignore the plight of his fellow humans. He'd done that enough in his old life, always turning his back on the miseries and horrors of the world, plunging himself into ignorance with the drugs of fiction. Now there was no escape.

  The hallways were much the same, and wherever they went there were people in the same state. They went on different floors, but there was little difference on any of them. All of those people had their own individual stories. All of them had lost so much, but none of them were special. It had happened to all of them, and yet everyone felt alone in their misery. Adam wanted to talk to all of them and shake them out of their stupor, to tell them this could be a new beginning rather than an ending, but it was clear many of them had lost the will to live. Like Diana had said earlier, they just were waiting to die, and Adam knew he didn't want that.

  “Do you want to keep living like this?” Diana asked him eventually, after they had made their way through a few floors.

  “No,” he replied.

  “There's something else I need to show you,” she said. They went up to the very top floor. Diana didn't say anything, which made Adam suspicious. When she opened the door to that floor he was met with a horrible stench and an even worse sight. Laid down and piled up were dozens of bodies, all dead.

  “What happened to them?” he asked, his throat raw and his voice hollow. The sight of a dead body still was a shock to him, and he was overwhelmed with sorrow and anguish for these people.

  “Various things. Pneumonia mostly, but there have been some other ailments. Some of these people were on medication, and without those their bodies shut down. Other people I think literally gave up the will to live. They just couldn't see a future for themselves, so their bodies surrendered. I think the easiest thing in this world now is to die.”

  “But why are they all here?”

  “Because there's nowhere else to put them. People thought it would be disrespectful to throw them outside and watch them rot, and nobody has a shovel to dig a pit for them. We can't have them on the same floors as us, and nobody wanted to carry them all somewhere else. So, we put them up here.”

  “Did you know any of them?”

  “Some of them. Some of them already were dead when I got here. But this is the fate that awaits you if you don't have some plan, or some hope, or if you can't see a future for yourself.”

  Adam looked at the pile of bodies. There were so many that he almost couldn't tell where one ended and another began. So, it was like a huge chain of death, foreboding and grim. His heart was filled with agony, his stomach with nausea, and his mind with a sense that he would do anything to avoid this fate. He clenched his jaw and turned away from them.

  “I definitely don't want to end up like that. I want to be a better man. I want for there to be hope for the future. There has to be a way that we can make it through this and actually enjoy life again, to feel as though we're accomplishing something other than mere survival. I don't want to give up my life meekly. This is all we have, and we shouldn't surrender it so easily.”

  Emotion stirred within him, and the two of them continued looking at the dead that lay before them. Adam had been faced with more death in this short time than he had during this entire life up to that point. For the first time, he wasn't running from it. He was staring death straight in the face, declaring he was not going to be scared, he was not going to crumble, and he never wa
s going to accept death meekly. He would fight and scrap and do anything he could to keep breathing, to keep moving forward That was what his heroes did, and that was what he had to do, not only for himself, but to prove to Diana he could, to aid her in her quest to keep Annabelle safe.

  “I'm glad to hear that,” she said. “If you had said anything else, I would have told you to go and join them now. There's no point living if the only plan you have is to die. You can be a better man, just like we all can be better. I still plan to make something of my life and I'm not going to be staying here forever. I'm going to keep Annabelle safe, and I'm going to make sure she has a good life as well. As long as you want to help me with that, then we can stick together.”

  He and Diana left the dead, and walked back through the apartments, passing the herds of people. More of them were waking up now, ready to endure another bleak day. They returned to their little corner of the building and Adam sat by himself, as Diana went off to see about some food. Adam pulled the Spider-Man figurine out of his pocket and looked at the small red and blue hero. Spider-Man always had been Adam's favorite, and now Adam felt a kinship with him. Adam had more responsibility in this new life than he ever had had in the old world, and he hoped he was up to the challenge.

  “What's that?” Annabelle said, for now she was awake. Peter still was sleeping. Adam passed the figurine to her and she turned it over in her hands. “Oh, it's Spider-Man. You like him?”