Cold As Ice

by Paige, Violet

  “Don’t you think he should know if he’s going to play the guy?”

  I closed my eyes.

  “You don’t know what it’s like,” she pleaded.

  “What ‘what’ is like?”

  “To be a single mother. To have people judge you at every damn turn.” She was frustrated. “The looks I get at hockey camps. The ones at PTA meetings. I even feel it at the library. I’m the mom who doesn’t have a husband or a boyfriend. There is no ex. There is no one. Phoebe doesn’t know who her dad is because he was a wild weekend of fun six years ago.” She exhaled. “What if Jack is the next one to judge me? What happens when he hears there was another NHL player? What if I tell him and he thinks this is some kind of trap because I’m a groupie? Or worse… that he pities me. That I was used and left, which isn’t true either. There was co-equal usage that weekend.”

  “I think you need to tell him what happened. If he’s a good guy he’ll listen.”

  “Even a good guy doesn’t have to understand my situation. I don’t know how to look him in the eye and tell him I was waiting tables for the summer, hooked up, and was knocked up. When I tried to call Alexi, I got a fake number. When I tried to call the manager, I was laughed at. I’m the one who did it. I did it with my eyes wide open. I slept with him because I wanted to. I don’t really feel like having to explain that to the man I just started dating.”

  “If he doesn’t understand, then you shouldn’t be dating him.”

  “Even a really good man wouldn’t want to deal with it.” She sighed. “I don’t want him to stop looking at me the way he does. I don’t want to lose that. When I tell him about Alexi…”

  The hallway had cleared. I had an exit. I took it, searching for the door to the backyard. I couldn’t listen to anymore. I’d heard too much.

  I wanted cold clean air to burn my lungs. I filled them with giant gulps before I realized there was a fire pit across the yard. I wasn’t alone.

  “Hey, I was wondering where you were.” Cal grinned. “I’ve got a beer with your name on it. You okay, man? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

  I shook my head. “Yeah. Yeah. I’m good. I just came out to get some air.” I took the beer, grateful to have something cool to drink.

  “There are a lot of people in there. Natalie invited everybody.” He rolled his eyes. “She’s kind of a more is more kind of person. Not like my mom was at all. Dad doesn’t notice. It’s his call, but…”

  I knew Cal was talking. It was a low hum in the air. I nodded and made a few grunts when he paused, but I didn’t have a clue what he was talking about. Family drama about their dad’s girlfriend. I couldn’t hear anything other than the record on repeat in my head. The words I heard were Noelle’s. I don’t want him to stop looking at me the way he does.

  * * *

  It was close to midnight when Noelle walked out of the house and toward the firepit. I was sitting with Daniel, Cal, and Bonner. I glanced away when Daniel joined the group. I felt like a guilty fuck for listening to the conversation with his sister. I knew things I had no business knowing.

  “Phoebe’s asleep. I think I should get her into her own bed,” she announced. “It’s really late.”

  I rose from my seat. “Where is she? I’ll carry her to the car.”

  “Just leave her,” Bonner suggested. “You know Natalie loves it when she stays over. She likes to make a big fuss.”

  Noelle rubbed her arms. It was cold if you weren’t directly in front of the flames. “I didn’t pack a bag for her. She doesn’t have PJs or a blankie. Maybe another time, Dad.”

  “She’s already asleep. She doesn’t need any of that stuff.” The grandfather waved his hand in the air. “Just leave her. I’ve got plenty of toothbrushes.”

  I waited for Noelle to make a decision about whether to leave Phoebe for the night. If she had asked me before the party started, I would have been all in on leaving the little girl for a sleepover. All I had wanted was time alone with her mom. The pendulum had shifted harder and swifter than I could have seen coming. Where did I go from here?

  “I do hate to wake her up accidentally transferring her in and out of the car. Okay, but only if you are absolutely sure.”

  He nodded. “She’s fine. You can pick her up in the morning. Think how surprised she’s going to be.” He chuckled. Noelle walked over to hug her father. “Happy birthday.”

  “Thanks, honey. Everything was delicious. The best cake you’ve made.”

  “Happy birthday, Mr. Basham.” I leaned to shake his hand. “And nice to meet you guys.” I nodded at Cal and Daniel.

  “I can’t wait for your first game, man,” Cal shouted as I walked Noelle through the backyard.

  “Thanks.”

  “We can take the side gate,” she explained. “It’s over here.”

  It locked in place behind us with a quiet click.

  As we drove to Noelle’s house, I knew I had to say something, but I had no fucking clue how to do it. She would think I had broken her trust. I stayed too long and heard too much.

  She looked out the window. “I think everything was okay tonight. Dad had a good time. Natalie overreacts to everything. I should be used to it by now. But I’m not.”

  “You said they’ve been together ten years, but not married?”

  “Right. Since my mom died. But they aren’t married. They’re next door neighbors. It’s weird and sweet. I don’t know. I don’t like to think about it. But she is good to my dad and she’s great with Phoebe.”

  “Sounds like it could be worse.”

  She smiled. “It could always be worse.”

  The headlights landed on the front row of hedges and the empty flower beds when I turned into her driveway. The car purred.

  “Do you want to come in for a nightcap?” she asked. Her eyes had come alive again. I hadn’t had a drink since I finished the beer with Cal hours ago.

  “I could go for a drink before I head home.” I had to get this off my chest. One drink and I’d put it out there. I’d find a way to crumble the walls closing in on us. I had to push through this the way I did in practice when my leg throbbed so viciously, I thought I’d pass out from the pain. If I could skate through that—I could tell her I’d learned the truth. “A drink sounds good,” I echoed.

  Noelle walked up the front steps and opened the door.

  “I have beer or wine. Maybe some liquor in the top of the pantry.” She stepped out of her low heels and padded through the kitchen.

  “Whatever you’re having.” I watched as she poured two glasses of cold white wine into short stemless glasses.

  “It’s chilled and a brand new bottle. Alana brought me a case someone gave her at work since she can’t drink for a while.”

  “I met her tonight.”

  “You did?” Her eyes widened. “There were so many more people than I expected. I saw her for two minutes and then I never got to talk to her again. Please tell me she didn’t say anything embarrassing.”

  “No, nothing like that.”

  Noelle bit her lip. “It’s a little crazy you met everyone in my life in one night. All the most important people were there. And somehow, I still convinced you to come in for a drink,” she teased. The sweater slipped a little farther down her shoulder, revealing the edge of a lacy scalloped strapless bra. Fuck.

  “The craziest part is that we managed to come back without my daughter.” She ran her fingers along my bicep. “Did you plan that? Is there some kind of conspiracy to get us alone?” She winked at me. Her eyes dazzling with take-me-to-bed shades of blue.

  I gulped half the glass at once. I wanted to tell her. I had to tell her. I took another gulp, suddenly overwhelmed with an incredible thirst. But it wasn’t wine I was thirsty for. It was the woman standing in front of me. I didn’t know I could get lost in someone’s eyes.

  17

  Noelle

  The evening was a success. Other than the spills and the obscene amount of cake that ended up between cou
ch cushions. Jack never stumbled. He didn’t become defensive after countless questions about what he thought about Richmond, if he liked the Dires, where he would take me on our second date, could he hook everyone up with tickets. He laughed. He shook hands. He sought me out if too much time passed. He checked on Phoebe. He humored Cal and Daniel.

  He was sweet and attentive. It was if I had written a script for how to be the perfect date and he stuck with it the entire night.

  The only bad part of the party was that I had to share him. Half the time he was entertaining Dad’s friends or talking hockey with Cal. He was pulled one way and I was pulled the other. That’s what happened with a house full of people. I was desperate to find a way to touch him. To whisper in his ear. To graze his skin. To kiss his delicious lips.

  There was a hush inside my house I’d been craving all night. A place where we could settle into the quiet and steal the moments we had alone. Savor each other. It was exactly what I intended to do. I was going to savor every inch of Jack Novak.

  Jack waited for me to finish my next sip before guiding the wine glass out of my hand. I saw hunger in his eyes. I knew I was mirroring everything he felt. God, the way he stared at me made me want to throw all my clothes on the floor. I wasn’t sure the look he gave wasn’t an order to strip in front of him now.

  “I’ve been waiting to do this all night,” he growled.

  “Do what?” I murmured softly as his mouth hovered so I could practically inhale the wine from his breath. My knees buckled and my veins rushed with fire. His mouth crushed mine with the kind of kiss that could extinguish the memory of any man before him.

  Jack’s lips raked against my skin. His tongue dipped in my mouth as it if was his to possess. His to pleasure or punish. The heat burned in my fingertips. I circled his neck, pressing into his skin with deliberate strokes.

  Words were mumbled. Shoes flew in different directions. Jack found his way to my bedroom, tugging and drawing me against his chest. I held onto his neck, staring at the lines of his jaw and the way the angles made him look rugged and handsome. He nudged open the bedroom door with his knee and then pushed through, lifting me with him in a powerful show of his strength.

  If I had been thinking, I would have been worried about the hamper flowing with laundry, or the stack of books next to the bed. I would have apologized for the three different outfits I had tossed on the chair in the corner. But I wasn’t thinking.

  Jack kicked the door closed behind him with a sudden thrust. A thrill of electricity ran through me. He kissed me before lowering me on the bed. I was in awe of his massive frame as he crawled toward me, pinning me beneath him easily. It was as if I was suddenly shielded from everything terrible in the world with his body protecting mine.

  His lips were urgent as he kissed my throat, moving to my shoulder. He slid the sweater lower on my arm to circle my shoulder with his tongue. It was those unexpected touches that made my cheeks flush the most. He was sending heat through my entire body. I hadn’t felt this kind of fever in a long time.

  His hand lifted the hem of my sweater, dragging the roughness of his palm over my flesh. His movements were slow. Intentional. Burning. He cupped my breast and I sighed. With precision he unhooked my bra and worked it out from my sweater, discarding it.

  “God, you’re beautiful.”

  I could barely speak. I was gasping and needy for air. He pinched my nipple between his finger and thumb, rolling it back and forth.

  “Ohh,” I moaned. My head rocked back. The tight spring in my core wound tighter with each roll of my nipple.

  His hand slipped between my legs, rubbing roughly over the denim. I was greedy for the friction. He already knew I was hot and damp. There was no use trying to hide how much I reacted to his body and his mouth.

  Our gazes collided. I nodded urgently when his hands landed on my button. I wanted these jeans off.

  Jack peeled them off my ankles and tossed the jeans on the floor. He groaned, shoving my wet panties to the side so his fingers could run between my soaked folds. It was as if he was starving to touch me.

  “Ohh,” I moaned, my hips bucking as he danced his fingertips against my bud. I felt the quivers run along my spine. Oh God. The tightening wound harder in my core. What if I came this easily? Should I be grateful or embarrassed?

  He sat back on his heels. He pulled his hand from between my legs and rested it on my thigh. I felt a disappointing ache where his fingers had stroked my clit. It throbbed violently.

  Jack cupped my face. “God, do you know how much I want you? How much I’ve wanted you since I laid eyes on you?” I thought I heard his heart beating loudly from inside his chest.

  “But I promise. No sex tonight. You don’t have to worry.”

  I gulped. What in hell was he talking about? “I’m not worried,” I whispered, but I didn’t have time to argue with him. He spun me from one sensation to another.

  “We’re not going to go fast. I can do slow.” He kissed behind my ear. He kissed along my throat, his hands moving over my body. He slid the sweater over my head, licking my exposed nipples. “I want to taste and suck every inch of you.” He lowered his head, pulling me in his mouth with determination.

  I groaned as his tongue swirled over my nipple. He bit against the flesh and I pressed the back of his head tighter to my chest. His hand moved between my legs.

  I nodded greedily, opening for him.

  “God, I want you,” he growled. His fingers plunged inside me and I clasped his shoulders, feeling the firm muscles flex under my palms. He was built like a god.

  “It’s just been a while for me,” I whispered, trying to fight off the orgasm. I wanted to plead my case for why sex was a good idea. Alana had me convinced. The glances we had stolen all night. The way I was drawn to him like a magnet. It felt right to give my body something as sinful as Jack Novak.

  Jack grinned wickedly as he began to slide down my torso.

  “I’m going to start with tasting,” he growled lazily. “Licking. Kissing you right here.”

  “Wait. What are you—” My body went rigid when he deposited my underwear on the floor with my jeans. His thumbs pried my thighs wide enough to accommodate his head between my legs.

  “Shh,” he teased as he made a line with his tongue from my clit to my pussy and retraced its path. Was that a target he was drawing? The place my orgasm would answer to command?

  My hands wound in his hair. “Oh shit,” I hissed. It felt fucking incredible, whatever the line meant.

  He chuckled, settling deeper between my legs. He didn’t need an invitation to taste more. He pried my folds wide with his fingers as he began to lap and suck. He wasn’t in a hurry. He was keeping his word about taking his time. His tongue moved in and out, while I clung at him, the frenzy building in my hips. He thrust deep inside, swirling against my inner walls.

  “Jack,” I whimpered. My head thrashed to the side, when he pinched my swollen nub.

  He continued to move his tongue along my folds, circling the bud, then dipping inside to torture me with perfection. He watched my body intently as it writhed and rolled under his direction.

  I groaned when he cupped my ass, dragging me in the air. The new angle made the rhythm in my hips quicken. Of course Novak was good at this. What couldn’t he do? My eyes fell to his. He growled as I panted. I wanted him to let me come. His stare never left my face. With one last slow lick, I felt all control evaporate. Permission granted.

  I screamed quietly as the waves shook me from my nipples to my core. It was hard to accept the house was actually empty. I was still operating like I had to keep the sound down. He lapped at my juices while I rode out the orgasm. I grabbed my nipples, my back arched sharply. Jack feasted on me and it felt fucking glorious. I’d never had such lavish attention. His tongue pushed in fully. He drew a second orgasm from me quickly, and I thrashed on top of the bed, not prepared for another one so soon. But I was out of practice. I hadn’t had a sexual outlet in more months than
I cared to admit. I needed this. I needed him.

  He kissed the inside of my thigh and the top of my knee while I tried to catch my breath. I hummed with sexual revving.

  “Why are you still dressed?” My voice was breathless. I was out of practice, but I wasn’t bad in bed.

  He grabbed the hem of his designer T-shirt and threaded it over his head. Holy shit. What had I just done? I stared at endless lines of muscle and a six-pack that should be recorded in an anatomy book.

  “Better?” He bit his bottom lip.

  I nodded, twisting my body to crawl toward him on all fours. He sat on his knees while I worked the buckle loose on his jeans.

  He moved off the bed to let them hit the floor with a heavy thud. I ran my fingertips over his chest and his abs. There was rippled, and then there was Jack Novak.

  My palms pressed into his skin as I moved slowly from his chest to his hipbones. I dragged my hands over his boxer briefs to his thighs. I saw the silver line running across the top of his thigh.

  “This is your scar from the break?” I asked quietly.

  He nodded. “Other than the docs and trainers, no one has seen it.” I could tell he was timid with it, as if it was something hideous and awful. I leaned toward the line and kissed the top of the scar. My tongue licked the line. Jack groaned.

  “Does it hurt?” I asked.

  He shook his head.

  I circled my hands to his waistband and tugged roughly until his cock was free. I whimpered when I saw it. I was inches from it. Its massive, solid, thickness bobbed in front of me. But Jack’s hands wound in my hair as he dragged me toward his erect shaft. I’d awakened a beast in him.

  My lips parted as he pushed inside me. I moaned trying to take just the first inch of his head. He was so fucking big. He had given me two epic orgasms. I wasn’t backing down from my mission. I was going to make this man come tonight.

  His hips jerked as I cupped his balls. Each time he sank deeper in my throat.