The Sum

by Lizzie Nunnery

  Danny Am I what?

  Lisa Only it’s gonna be a big one. I thought maybe …

  Danny I’m working, Lisa.

  Lisa I know. Mum saw you doing the grass verges by the canal last week.

  Danny I didn’t see her.

  Lisa They reckon on thousands today. It’s been building up. You won’t wanna miss it.

  Danny You been going on your own?

  Lisa I kept thinking you’d be there. At one of the meetings or …

  Danny Maybe I’m sick of protests? Maybe I’ve got other things to worry about?

  Lisa People are angry. Properly angry. Like you say: common grievances.

  Danny Who cares what I say? Aren’t I just some fella you used to live with?

  Lisa You could join up later? If you’ve gotta work.

  Danny I haven’t seen you in over a month. Now you stroll up –

  Lisa I’ve been looking for you. Went to the house – there were new people in the front room.

  Danny Got myself a flat, didn’t I?

  Lisa No phone reception there? ’Cause I’ve been ringing.

  Danny D’you not think it might hurt? Do you not think it might hurt me, all this? The first two days I sat watching the door.

  Lisa I’m here now. We’re here now.

  Danny So what is it you want, Lisa? Alan can pay for your new life but I should be there to hold your hand when he’s busy?

  Lisa Alan’s a dickhead. He voted for Cameron and he listens to Dire Straits.

  Danny You made your bed – you know what they say.

  She stares at him. Walks away. She stops suddenly, turning back.

  Lisa Easier to be a loser, isn’t it?

  Danny Look, I’m sorry if you’re pissed off but –

  Lisa Always talking the big fight – truth be told it’s more your thing to lay down and die.

  Danny I don’t need to hear this.

  Lisa Yeah, go on, rise above. It’s easier to be too good, too soft, too clever. Well you’re not clever enough. You’re not good enough.

  Danny I wasn’t the one who walked out.

  Lisa You let her down, Danny. How can you not see that? You let me down.

  Danny digs more angrily. Lisa watches him.

  You know, I always thought I was missing things. ’Cause I never had holidays, or new stuff, never had a Dad and everyone knew that. Always felt like I was walking round with holes in me – like people could see through me. Except you start to realise, those things they said I was missing: they were the things they wanted. They were never the things I needed in the first place. And anyway I did have a dad. Didn’t I?

  Danny The things she said, and you just stood there …

  Lisa I’m asking you a question, Danny.

  Danny I can’t talk to her.

  Lisa Talk to me.

  Danny It’s too late.

  Lisa You called me your kid.

  Beat. He looks at her.

  To her. You called me your little girl.

  Danny Yeah.

  Lisa Am I?

  Danny Course you bloody are.

  Lisa Then act like it. Act like it. Talk to me.

  SCENE TWENTY-ONE

  SETTLEMENT

  The band plays ‘Where’s Your Soul?’. Low light. Alan sits in an armchair, a wine bottle beside him. Eve approaches, taking off her coat. She jumps when she sees him. He’s slightly drunk.

  Eve We were meant to go out, weren’t we? I had to stay with my Mum.

  Alan Three times this week.

  Eve She launched herself at one of the nurses. Pulled out a chunk of her hair.

  Alan You’d rather spend time in that mad house than here with me.

  Eve No. No, I …

  Alan That’s okay. I could accept that. I could accept that you don’t find me fascinating or charming. I could even accept that you don’t fancy me much –

  Eve (turning to go) I don’t want to do this now.

  Alan Don’t you? Because I’m paying your bills. I’m paying the school bills and the hospital bills: aren’t I at least due a little respect?

  Eve Is that really what you want from me, Al? Respect?

  Alan I saw you with him. This afternoon. The two of you sat in your crappy little café in town with your heads together. Gazing at each other over your instant coffee.

  Eve Aren’t I allowed to be in a room with him?

  Alan The pair of you laughing behind my back …

  Eve We only talked about Lisa. He has to see her –

  Alan Do you not know how much I’ve done for you, Eve?

  Eve I’m grateful.

  Alan You’re grateful when something needs paying for.

  Eve Yes. (Beat.) What else did you think this’d be?

  Alan I thought you needed caring for. I thought you’d let me care for you.

  Eve I can’t.

  Alan (moving close) I love you, Eve.

  Eve You don’t even like me. You don’t like the clothes I wear or the things I say or the way I say them –

  Alan You can’t know how much I love you.

  Eve I’m money to you. That’s what you like. I’m money in the bank as long as I’ve got nothing.

  Alan You’ve got everything of mine.

  Eve Nothing of my own. That’s the way you want to keep it, isn’t it?

  Alan That’s not fair.

  Eve That’s the way you want to keep me.

  Alan I picked you up off the ground, Eve –

  Eve Out of the kindness of your heart?

  Alan Yes. Actually, yes.

  Eve All the time counting what you’d get in return.

  Alan Don’t I deserve something in return?

  Eve That’s not kindness, that’s a transaction.

  Alan (going to her) Every good thing you have is from me. Every last thing you have of value –

  Eve (pushing him away) Then I’m fucking impoverished.

  Alan Christ Almighty … That’s your failures talking, Eve. That’s your weak-headed money-phobic –

  Eve My failures?

  Alan That’s what landed you in the shit heap in the first place.

  Eve Tell me about my failures, Alan.

  Alan That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? Because you fucked every other thing up?

  Pause. She stares into him.

  How about I write you a cheque to get out of my life?

  Eve How ’bout you keep it?

  Alan If you think I’m putting you all on the streets it’s you who doesn’t understand me.

  Eve Keep it.

  Alan You’d destitute yourself to spite me?

  Eve It’s nothing to do with you.

  Alan You’ll pull Lisa out of school? You’ll pull your mother out of the home?

  Eve Keep it.

  Alan And you’ll look your daughter in the eye after?

  Eve Yes. Yes I will. (Beat.) Keep your money.

  SCENE TWENTY-TWO

  TOMORROW

  Lights shift. The band plays ‘Magical Times’. Eve, Lisa and Iris enter carrying bags, cases, a telescope. In the food bank Steph, Theresa and Faisa are sorting food into boxes.

  Lisa (sung)

  These are magical times, rootless and wild

  We are dancing unbound, unruled by the tides

  I see ghosts of stars in a rolling sky

  These are magical times, and where am I?

  Music continues as Iris and Lisa sit on their cases. Eve approaches the food bank as Steph comes out with a cigarette. Seeing Eve, Steph turns back inside. Eve sits on the floor, waits.

  Eve/Iris/Lisa (sung)

  These are wondrous days when planets align

  Sun and moon kiss and the dark swallows fire

  I see silver and gold scattered high and wide

  These are magical times, and where am I?

  There are men singing songs from space

  And I’m gravity, I’m endless weight

  I saw the sky alight, too late

  A million years
ago

  A million miles away

  These are magical times, and where am I?

  Music continues, swells, fades. Steph returns carrying a pile of boxes.

  Steph We need this doorway clear for Health and Safety.

  Eve You alright, Steph?

  Steph No I’m not, I’m busy. Too busy for whatever display this is.

  Eve I’ve got a voucher.

  Steph Maybe I should help you then. Or maybe I should just fuck off like you told me.

  Eve Remember in primary, like if I swore at you or you broke something of mine, or we wound each other up, we’d work out what we owed.

  Steph There’s people inside who need me, Eve – who aren’t too proud to admit it.

  Eve You remember, I’d give you ten penny sweets to make up for tripping you over. Or you’d let me ride your bike to make up for spilling my chips. All that nonsense …

  Steph Nonsense, yeah.

  Eve Well, I’ll do anything for you now, Steph. Anything. I’ll work all your shifts for no pay. I’ll add up all the drinks and fags and crisps I’ve ever scrounged off you and pay you back in instalments. I’ll let you have any of my clothes on an unlimited loan … I’ll run round this car park with me knickers over my head –

  Steph Do you not think I’ve had stuff to cope with? The shop closing, the bank account emptying, the kids freaking out. Did you not think while you were having your martyred episode that I was wading through all the same miserable shit?

  Eve What can I do, Steph?

  Steph I don’t want you to do anything – I just want you. You silly mare. I want my mate.

  Eve starts to cry. Steph goes to her, pulls her up off the floor.

  Come here – the state of you … (Wiping her face.) Like a drowned panda.

  Eve We haven’t got anywhere to go, Steph.

  Steph Course you fuckin’ have.

  She hugs Eve. Lights shift. Lisa and Iris are still sitting on their cases waiting for Eve. Lisa looks through her telescope at the city.

  Iris What’ll we do tomorrow?

  Lisa Whatever you like. (Pointing.) We’ll climb up the top of that cathedral. Jump off and fly round the city if you want. Swoop down over Chinatown, follow the river and out to sea.

  Iris And what if it rains?

  Lisa No bother. We’ll go up over the clouds. Fly right to Ireland and back for teatime.

  Iris Will we?

  Lisa nods. Iris looks delighted at this. Her smile fades. Beat.

  And what’ll we do tomorrow?

  SCENE TWENTY-THREE

  POVERTY KNOCKS

  Danny sits on a kerb with a placard: END AUSTERITY. The band plays ‘Whole Again’. The staff and Steph enter humming, holding placards: SAVE LIVERPOOL WOMEN’S HOSPITAL, NO MORE NHS CUTS, etc. Steph, Theresa and Faisa are arm in arm. Gabi and Paul hold hands. Rhythms build, speed up – whistles, drums, shakers added. Bryn catches sight of Ismael, approaches him, searches in his pocket, holds up the gold watch. Ismael looks at it in surprise.

  Ismael It’s not mine.

  Bryn (nodding) Cash Converters on Smithdown Road?

  Ismael takes the watch, looks closer at it.

  I’ve started on the taxis. Decent money if you never sleep.

  Ismael (handing he watch back) It was never mine. I just wore it a while.

  Bryn Take it.

  Ismael (walking away) You think I can afford to keep that right now? That’s two hundred pounds: take it and spend it.

  Bryn (pursuing) No. I’ll keep it for you. And when you can afford to keep it – you come to me. You come right to me.

  Ismael nods, smiles at him. New chants rise up as they join the others: ‘No ifs, no buts, no more cuts!’ Eve, Iris and Lisa enter. Eve sees Danny, goes and sits beside him.

  Danny Evie Brennan at a protest … It’s been a while.

  Eve It’s not a secret club, Danny: anyone’s allowed.

  Danny (glancing at her) You look alright. Better than you did.

  Eve Council got us in a hostel. ‘Emergency housing’. The decor’s a bleeding emergency: sixties curtains and eighties carpets – Mum thinks she’s gone back in time.

  Danny How’s she doing?

  Eve Worse. Then better. Then worse. (Beat.) She’s asked after you a few times.

  Danny She hasn’t.

  Eve She misses you.

  Danny And you?

  Beat.

  Eve I was happy. I was happy for a long time.

  Danny Don’t say it like that – like it’s over.

  Eve You didn’t choose me, Danny. Not just that once: whenever it mattered, you didn’t choose me.

  Danny I’ll choose you for the rest of your life if you let me.

  Eve (getting up, walking away.) Prove it.

  Danny How do I do that?

  Eve Work it out for yourself, Dan. Prove it.

  He stands, follows Eve as she joins the others. Music builds: stamping, clapping, chanting: ‘Out, out, Tories out!’ Applause, whistles blow, as Steph pushes through, climbing on to a platform, facing out, speaking in a mic.

  Steph Thanks every single one of you for coming. You pull together one of these things, you think it’s gonna be one man and his dog. But you’re all here and … Good fucking on you. ’Cause if they want to take our hospital they’ll have to go through us – yeah?

  The others cheer, stamp, whistle. Steph looks around, lost for words suddenly.

  No more cuts! (Stepping down.) Sorry for swearing.

  The others keep on chanting ‘No more cuts’, wanting more. Eve looks at Lisa, who’s speaking in Iris’s ear, calming her. She catches Lisa’s eye, moves to the platform.

  Eve (joining the chant) No more cuts! No more cuts! (Shouting over the chants.) I’m looking at a lot of angry faces. Maybe you’re angry that you’re here at all. Maybe you’re angry you have to argue and protest for Accident and Emergency, and looking after old people and babies. (Gesturing to the placards.) A hospital like this one … Babies. (She stares around her.) You might be angry ’cause you’re talking and talking and no one hears and the TV and the internet’s clogged with noise, with politicians telling us we’re lucky, telling us to grin and bear it, selling us their lies and their bad maths. They’re selling us bad maths and I’m angry. I’m so angry. I’m angry at everything I can’t help and can’t fix and I haven’t got the answers … But we know the right questions. Don’t we? … When did we get forgotten? When did we get discarded? How did things get so painful and so stressful and so … disappointing? (Beat.) There’s a whisper and a shout in this city, in this country. It tells us to be ashamed of our losses, to call these things our faults and call our unhappiness due punishment. Well it isn’t. It isn’t. And every day we accept those lies we betray ourselves. We give ourselves away, we … My mum used to say: ‘Sell your knickers before you sell your pride. If they take your pride, they’ve taken you.’ But they won’t take us. They can’t catch us. Because we’re cleverer than them. And we’re angrier than them. Because we don’t believe their mantras. We are not Thatcher’s children. There are holes in their maths and we can see through them. Our sums are not their sums.

  The others roar in support. They move around Eve, people banging drums, blowing whistles. Lisa pulls Eve down and gives her a hug. A song emerges from the explosion of noise.

  Theresa (sung)

  When you’re playing your games of poker and risk

  When you’re drawing the blinds and stacking your chips

  Steph/Faisa/Gabi (sung)

  When you’re throwing your hand and cashing your cheque

  While out in the streets they’re paying your debt

  All (sung)

  I heard a rumour we’re all winners now

  If we’ll scrap for our dinner and laugh while we drown

  If we’ll play sink or swim while the losers go down

  All of us then will be sailors

  All of us then will be sailors

  Elsewhere Alan stands alone.


  Alan (sung)

  When the day breaks in with an ageing face

  When breathing in is a breathless race

  All (sung)

  When nothing you own is your own when your place

  Is somewhere below the line tucked away

  Repeat chorus.

  Eve/Lisa/Danny/Iris

  Inside the walls and under the ground

  In all of the graveyards in all of the towns

  Sure as the stroke of a time-worn clock

  Close as your heartbeat

  Poverty knocks

  The music quietens, voices continue as soft harmonies as lights close in on Eve.

  Eve I’m a numbers person. I’m made of numbers. There are nine billion cells inside the human heart, dying faster than they can regenerate. Every time I draw breath five hundred million stars are born and die, and we are not a calculation. We’re a flash of light across the sky. Too brief and too brilliant to measure. I am water and gas and flesh and bone; I am ten thousand trillion atoms dancing. And I am not the sum of my parts.

  The band takes up the song loudly again with a blast of a lead instrument.

  All (sung)

  I heard a rumour we’re all winners now

  If we’ll scrap for our dinner and laugh while we drown

  If we’ll play sink or swim while the losers go down

  All of us then will be sailors

  All of us then will be sailors

  When you’re playing your games of poker and risk

  (Knock, knock, knocking)

  When you’re drawing the blinds and stacking your chips

  (Knock, knock, knocking)

  When you’re throwing your hand and cashing your cheque

  (Knock, knock, knocking)

  While out in the streets they’re paying your debt

  Watch out the boat is a-rocking

  Watch out the boat is a-rocking

  Repeat.

  Poverty knocks, knocks, knocks …

  Eve takes Lisa and Iris’s hands as they sing, as music intensifies, as others raise their fists in the air. Voices rise in layers. The band brings the music to a crescendo. Lights down.