Out of the Darkness

by J. C. Owens

  If only there was not a void within them all.

  Somebody was missing.

  Kirith watched Chase’s despondent figure disappear into the doors of the college and slumped against the back seat of the car, letting out a sigh of both relief and frustration. It had taken every bit of persuasion to get Chase to this point, and he was utterly worn out.

  This was Chase’s future. He needed this desperately, but all his personal strength had been geared toward pleasing Enzo. Now, it seemed, he had nothing to inspire him, and it had taken long, hard work to get him to the point he could do this.

  Landon slid closer, wrapping his arm around him in comfort. “We’ll get him through this. Once he meets new people, gets involved, it will help.”

  Kirith leaned into the loving touch, soaking up his lover’s vitality and strength. For so many years, he had longed to leave the island, be able to see the mainland again and all its diversity. Now that he was here, he wanted nothing more than to return to the peace and tranquility of his home. Only now did he realize how precious such a thing truly was. He had never truly been a part of Enzo’s world, and now he had proof that it was nothing he wanted and never would.

  The threat of the family hung over them at all times, and the silence on the part of Benito was nerve-wracking, to say the least. He had made no attempt to contact them, no sign of upholding the exile that had kept Kirith upon the island. No word or sign of how he perceived Enzo’s death.

  Benito was the Martinelli now, as he had striven for.

  Kirith could not imagine he would be merciful. The very silence was intimidating. Landon had the entire team here now, including their leader, Captain Brian Forenza. Kirith felt better with his presence. His fear was not for himself, but for his precious daughter. Laura had gone through too much already. He never wanted another hint of violence to mar her life again after what she had already been through on his behalf.

  He shuddered at the memories, staring out the window blindly, as the car negotiated the busy streets.

  Wrenching his thoughts away took effort, but he refused to return to that dark place. He had come too far and worked far too hard to regress now.

  Soon, once Chase had settled at school, Kirith could return to the island. Chase had decided to move into Rafe’s house with the other guards. It was probably the safest place he could possibly be right now.

  He would miss Chase, but he could not continue to endanger Laura by keeping her here within reach of the family. Who knew what the new Martinelli regime may want with her?

  Chase could visit the island during school breaks, and hopefully that would be enough to keep him connected with his adopted family. Kirith worried that Chase would slip into depression, that school would not be enough to take his thoughts from Enzo even a little.

  He closed his eyes as thoughts came round again to his brother.

  To die in such a manner…

  He could only hope the explosion had killed them all before the fire ever started. He had received the initial police reports yesterday, showing the size and probable placement of the bomb and the terrible force it would have unleashed. He shuddered, then suddenly froze, a realization coming to the fore.

  He leaned forward, tapping the shoulder of the bodyguard in the passenger seat. Tony turned his head, his own features tired and worn. He was one of the survivors of the blast, and he had lost many friends that day.

  “Tony, when Ren entered the house that day, was he carrying anything?”

  The bodyguard blinked, then frowned in thought. “No.” His eyes widened as he realized where Kirith’s thoughts were travelling. “He had nothing. He could not have concealed a bomb with that much power.”

  Kirith felt a chill feather down his spine.

  Whatever had happened in that office, Ren was not the bomber.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chase felt like he had been wrung out and left to dry. He was grateful that he had only had two classes for this first day. It was now noon, and he had nothing left, his mind churning, his body limp with exhaustion. He could not wait to get home. He swallowed hard, sucking in a quivering breath.

  There was no home anymore.

  There was no place that was familiar and welcoming, that contained the man he loved.

  There was nothing.

  He shook his head with a surge of anger. That was not true. Ren had not taken everything from him. He had a family that would not abandon him this time. He had Kirith, Landon, and Laura. He had the tattered remnants of Enzo’s men, who had rallied round him. Raymond, if he recovered. And Rafe, who’d encouraged him to stay at college. He was not alone. He was still part of the family, scattered and broken as it may be.

  Even if his heart was frozen, there were those who loved him.

  He groaned with heartfelt despair when he exited the building and saw Rafe waiting for him with a small smile. He had promised to go shopping today, to start to get his furnishings for his new life in Rafe’s house. There was nothing he wanted to do less at this moment. He was grateful to his friend for the offer of room and board, but at this moment, he did not have the resources even to care. He had considered getting his own place—after all he could well afford it now thanks to Enzo’s investments—but he feared being alone. He knew all too well the dark places in his soul, and he had no wish to return to them. To be alone would be to live with Enzo’s ghost, and he would never survive the memories if he did not have someone to snap him out of it.

  Rafe reached out and snagged his backpack, swinging it into the back of the rental car with swift efficiency. Chase felt a twinge of annoyance at the fact that he had half bowed under its weight, but the bodyguard found its mass negligible. He was going to have to work out more, eat more. Sometimes he felt more than a little insignificant next to his new housemates.

  Still, Enzo had chosen him. Just the way he was. He had to remember that.

  He held that thought tightly, holding his lover’s memory close. It was the only comfort he had now.

  He slid into the car and slumped in the seat, wondering wearily how long it would take before the searing pain of loss became something he could live with.

  Rafe drew him close for a hug, then kissed his temple. Chase drew back, shooting a glance at his friend. Rafe shrugged, then started the car.

  “You looked like you needed it.”

  Chase relaxed, chiding himself for being jittery. It had been the gesture of a friend, no more. Yet sometimes, he felt more from Rafe than he was ready to accept. Their past, and Rafe’s admiration, loomed over them both, and Chase was not prepared to let anything get out of hand.

  In the future…maybe. He could not envision the future right now. Maybe in time, Rafe’s feelings could be returned, but right now there was only Enzo. The mere thought of another man touching him in passion was completely repugnant. Rafe seemed to understand, but if that changed, Chase would have to find another place to live.

  The furniture store was vast, and Chase dithered, unable to bring his mind to bear upon the task at hand. He had managed to pick out a dresser, and a night table, but he could not bear to look at the beds yet. It seemed like an acceptance of fate, of Enzo’s death, to have another bed of his own.

  Rafe patiently followed, making notes of the stock numbers, his hand always upon Chase—a shoulder, the small of his back, sometimes cradling the nape of his neck in comfort—while Chase struggled to keep his shit together.

  Chase’s cell rang, and he pulled it out of his pocket with a sigh of relief. He was more than ready to take a break.

  Need you home. Will go out to supper. Please soon. — K.

  Chase frowned and put the phone away, grabbing Rafe’s arm and heading for the doors. “Kirith wants me back.”

  Rafe protested, “What about the furniture?”

  “I can get it later. You have the numbers. I can’t face choosing a bed today anyway. Kirith needs me now.”

  Rafe frowned as they exited the building. “He demands too much of y
ou. It will be good when he goes back to the island, and you can have a life.”

  Chase stood beside the car, staring at him in disbelief. “Kirith is my family. I will always be ready to help him, to go to him. Don’t think that is going to change.”

  Rafe scowled for a moment, then opened the driver’s door, remotely unlocking Chase’s side.

  Chase slid in, feeling a spike of anxiety shiver down his spine. That brief sense of hostility on Rafe’s part seemed counter to everything the bodyguard had shown him so far in the way of friendship. How could he even imagine that Chase would be glad to see Kirith go? There was a hint of possessiveness there, something Chase would not accept or endure in a friend. This was what he had been worried about.

  Something else to face. He’d have to make it perfectly clear to Rafe that such a thing was unacceptable. He had thought he had been very succinct in his expectations of Rafe’s friendship, making it plain that there was a line that could not be crossed, but now…

  He stared out the window as they headed back to the rented house in silence.

  Chase sighed to himself.

  He was relieved when they finally entered the gates of the rented estate, the house looming before them.

  He exited the car with a feeling of relief, feeling a certain amount of exasperation as Rafe dogged his heels into the house. When it seemed his companion would follow him upstairs to the family’s rooms, he stopped abruptly and turned to face the bodyguard.

  “I am fine, Rafe. I need to talk to Kirith, and then we are probably all going out for supper. OK?”

  Rafe stared at him, something foreign in his expression, before he gave a smile, erasing the image back to his usual mellow self. “OK. Sounds good. Give me a call if you need anything.”

  Chase rolled his eyes, patting Rafe’s shoulder. “Yes, Mother. Talking of having to get a life, you need to relax a bit.”

  Rafe shook his head. “I lost a lot of friends, Chase. I have to protect you in Enzo’s name. I can’t lose anyone else.”

  Chase melted, sympathy overwhelming his caution. He gave his friend a hug, Rafe’s arms enclosing him completely. He felt a warmth grow, chasing away the cold for a brief moment. Rafe was so giving, so patient. Chase finally stepped back and gave a tentative smile.

  “I am fine. Nothing to worry about.”

  Rafe nodded, but there was nothing of acceptance in his expression.

  Chase sighed, turning to go up the staircase. Halfway up, a movement at the top of the stairs caught his attention, and he smiled up at Kirith, who had appeared on the landing. The grimness of Kirith’s features caught Chase’s attention, and he hurried the last few stairs. He heard sudden running steps behind him, shouts from below, and he started to turn, saw Rafe reaching for him, watching in shock as Kirith withdrew a gun from behind his waist and shot, cool and calm, nothing but ice in his expression.

  Chase whirled on the spot, almost falling down the stairs, only Kirith’s sudden grip saving him.

  Rafe lay halfway up the stairs behind him, holding his shoulder, bodyguards swirling over him, pulling a gun from his hand.

  He held out his good hand to Chase, a pleading expression upon his features, and Chase tugged against Kirith’s hold, horrified, wanting to go to him. He was hurt…

  “Don’t, Chase. It was him. He planted the bomb.” Kirith’s voice was utterly steady, the rage of the words hidden deeply beneath control.

  Chase froze, staring down at Rafe. He wanted to disbelieve, but in that moment, something in his friend’s eyes, the lack of protest at being shot, it all made sense in a horrible, twisted kind of way.

  He turned away, slumping into Kirith’s strong arms. This betrayal was the last and worst.

  Kirith and Chase sat in silence upon one of the leather couches, watching the sun set through the massive west windows.

  Chase huddled under Kirith’s arm, curled into him, clenching Kirith’s shirt in his fingers.

  Somewhere else in the city, Rafe was being questioned by Brian’s team, including Landon, along with Enzo’s bodyguards. It was a given he would not live long.

  Chase had wept earlier, but now he was silent, perhaps too numb to vocalize his pain any further.

  Kirith rubbed his back in slow, comforting circles and listened to Chase’s unsteady breathing, wishing he could give more than the warmth of his body for solace.

  They had not said anything for over an hour now. They were waiting. Waiting for news, for some explanation of how and why this had happened. Landon had been furious that none of them had suspected earlier that the killer had been amongst them, close to Kirith and Chase all the while.

  Chase shivered, and Kirith made a soothing sound in his throat, drawing him closer, and laying a kiss on the top of his head.

  There was a knock on the doorframe that led into the living room, and Kirith turned his head slowly and wearily to face Tony and beckon him forward.

  “Sorry to disturb you, sir. But we just got some news about the family you might be interested in.”

  Kirith nodded.

  “We got word, sir, that there seems to be some sort of turf war going on between Benito’s men and Paolo’s men. Seems Paolo’s death created a lot of resentment, and it exploded last night, literally. Benito’s house was destroyed, although he and his family were not there, and now, apparently, they are hunting each other down, the whole family getting pulled into it. I think, sir, that perhaps the absence of your brother has taken away all restraint.”

  Kirith felt a faint surge of vicious pleasure. The family had never been kind to him, always making sure he knew he was an outsider. As far as he was concerned, they were feral beasts, only Enzo’s strength keeping them from rending each other to pieces.

  Without a strong leader, they had reverted to form, and although he felt for the wives and children who would be caught up in the furor, he could not say he was sorry for what the outcome of this would be. The fall of the Martinellis gave him no grief whatsoever.

  There were other groups, waiting in the wings, that would gladly take over, sensing weakness. This demonstration of turmoil within was tantamount to suicide in their line of work.

  “Thank you, Tony,” Kirith murmured. “Keep me apprised of any more news.”

  “Yes, sir. Should I send in food? It’s getting late, and neither of you have eaten today.”

  Kirith managed a faint smile in acknowledgement of the bodyguard’s concern.

  “That’s a good idea. Something simple though. A sandwich maybe.”

  Tony nodded, his brisk steps echoing down the hallway as he left.

  “Are you all right?” Chase straightened up from his curled position, eyeing Kirith carefully. “These are your relations.”

  Kirith made a derisive sound, stroking Chase’s rumpled hair back. “My mother was my family. Enzo was my family. Laura, Landon, and you are my family now. I hold no ties to the others.”

  “Thank you.” Chase flushed.

  Kirith managed a smile. “You did not give me a lot of choice. Wormed your way right in. Can’t get rid of you now.”

  Chase elbowed him, earning a grunt.

  “I want to go back to the island with you. I can’t go back to school. Not now, not for a while. Maybe I can take some initial online courses, and you can give me tips. I just want to be away from here, away from people. I need time to grieve. I need all of you around me. Is that being weak?” He glanced at Kirith with some trepidation. “I can help with Raymond. I helped you before.”

  Kirith leaned forward and kissed his forehead, cupping his cheek gently in one hand. “I think you are wise enough to know your own mind and what you need. You have had a lifetime of other people forcing you into molds you did not want and then later guiding you for your own good. Now you are your own man, and I will respect whatever you feel you need.” He rose to his feet and stretched. “You need to trust yourself. I do. As for Raymond, I can think of no one better to aid in his recovery. You give others strength.”

&n
bsp; He smiled down at Chase. “I am going to go wake Laura up, so she can eat with us. Her presence might make the two of us actually consume something.”

  Chase reached out and grasped Kirith’s right hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing the back. “Thank you,” he whispered. “You are always there for me.”

  “You are easy to love, Chase. Don’t forget, you were there for me when I needed you. This is no one-way street. You are a strong, intelligent young man, and I am proud to be here for your journey.”

  Chase’s eyes welled with tears. Kirith’s thumb gently swept them away. “No more tears. Enzo would have scoffed at us, being so emotional. Time to be thankful for what we have, not what we have lost. Our grief will not go away, not so soon, but perhaps we can think of what we loved about him, and not so much about his death.”

  Chase nodded, but Kirith could see there was no belief in his thoughts.

  They forced themselves to eat, Laura urging them on before she went back to her room to draw pictures for them both. Kirith turned on the TV, he and Chase watching the shows with blind apathy. The sound of footsteps approaching lent a welcome respite.

  Landon stepped into the room. In a moment, Kirith was up and had his arms around him, guiding him to sit upon the couch, Chase on one side, Kirith on the other.

  Kirith’s lover was pale and haunted looking, and he gripped Kirith’s hand with almost crushing force. He refused to meet his lover’s eyes.

  “This is my fault,” he whispered, the words almost torn from him.

  Kirith reached out to turn his face gently, so he had to meet his gaze. “What nonsense is this, my love?”

  Landon stared at him for a long moment, then tried to pull away.

  “It was Adrian who set this up. My brother. My own goddamned brother.”

  Kirith froze. “I thought he was dead. I thought Marcello killed him.”

  Landon gave a choked laugh, a note of hysteria in it. “No such luck. The bastard slipped out of it, somehow, the way he always has. He has been maneuvering, all this time, trying to get payback.” His hand shook in Kirith’s grip. “He blames me for our family’s mercenary team collapsing. He has a lot of money set aside, and he paid Rafe, set the whole thing up. He provided the bomb. The clever bastard found the chinks in our armor, found Rafe, found Ren.” He looked at Kirith with tears rising in his eyes. “This is my fault. Enzo died because of my family. Sergei and the others. Raymond injured. Oh God, my love, I am so sorry.”