Pictures of You

by Barbara Delinsky

  Maria’s deft hands quickly stripped her sun dress from her and bathed her burning skin. Eva couldn’t resist, her limbs were so weakened and her mind so hazy. She passed in and out of a shallow consciousness, at each moment of lucidity calling Roberto’s name, pleading with Maria to get him.

  Her stomach churned again, and this time Maria held her head as the involuntary convulsions shook her. Patiently, all the while crooning soothing Portuguese words to her, Maria cleaned her and changed her clothes again, this time putting her into one of Roberto’s shirts, pulled from the tall dresser. The ashen color of her face, broken only by a few small spots of fever, was as white as the shirt, which swam about her shoulders and fell to her thighs.

  Again and again she called his name, only to find that it was Maria’s cooling hand on her forehead … Maria, who couldn’t understand that she needed something stronger than cold compresses.

  Eva didn’t hear the door open. She was in a moment of delirium, back in the mountains, in her own Eden. The next spasm of pain brought her around, though, and she opened her fever-glazed eyes to see Roberto standing by the bed. She completely missed the fear in his eyes as he gazed upon her pale and fevered features, so intent was she in conveying the message she was grasping to remember.

  “Roberto … help me … Roberto …” she shrieked in a high-pitched tone

  Roberto interrupted her, as he sat down and took her hot hand in his. “Shhh … just rest. You need to sleep.” She couldn’t make out the look on his face through the blur of tears in her own eyes.

  “No, Roberto … fish … I’m allergic to fish. Did we have any fish in the dinner? I only get sick like this when …” she broke off, a new surge of cramping silencing her. She rolled in agony onto her side and tucked her knees up to ease the pain.

  Roberto stroked her hair as he turned to say something in Portuguese to Maria. His tone was calm, though grim, when he spoke close to Eva’s ear. “Yes, there was a small amount of fish in the stew. What are you supposed to do? You must have some medicine … just tell me and I can get it.”

  “I always carry it. It was in my knapsack … buried,” she cried out hysterically. Nothing else needed to be said. Roberto instantly gathered Eva’s slim body to him, lifted her from the bed and headed for the door as he called instructions over his shoulder to Maria.

  Once in his arms, Eva relinquished the burden of the responsibility to him, knowing that she would trust him to make whatever decisions needed to be made. The wave of consciousness ebbed and flowed. Eva felt herself being put into Roberto’s four-wheel drive. She felt him climb into the driver’s seat and pull her against him, protectively secured by his right arm, as he started the car with his left.

  She asked no questions. Roberto spoke softly, calmly, every now and then, as they drove through the wee-hour darkness, explaining that there was an excellent hospital in Belo Horizonte, where they were headed, assuring her that everything would be all right.

  At one point the pain became too great and she cried out. He pulled her even closer to him, as though to absorb the pain himself and thus ease hers. “It’s all right, honey. You’ll be all right. It won’t be very long now. Hang in there for me!”

  How fast he drove she neither knew nor cared. Her breathing grew increasingly labored during the long drive, and she was struggling for air by the time the bright lights of the emergency exit came into view. Roberto pulled to an abrupt stop, jumped out of the vehicle, gently pulling Eva around the steering wheel and into his arms, as he bolted into the hospital.

  If the events of the last few hours were a dim haze, even more so were those of the next few hours. Eva’s consciousness glimpsed the flurry of activity from afar, coming and going through the swirling mists of fever. Low voices conversed about her, probing hands examined her, able fingers secured an oxygen mask over her nose and mouth. Faces came and went, orders flowed. Eva felt herself being turned and the lifesaving injection being given, and almost instantly the cramping eased. When she mustered enough strength to open her eyes, she saw only Roberto, keeping a silent vigil at her side, his eyes never leaving hers, his hand never releasing nearness imprinted on her ephemeral consciousness.

  Her body quieted as she slept, the violent spasms receding, her breathing steady once again. As the light of dawn filtered through the window, she awoke with a start, one last tremor twisting at her stomach before passing from her. Roberto was there. “Shhh. Sleep, baby. I’m here.”

  He had to lean closer to hear her faint whisper. “Don’t leave me, Roberto.” She turned pleading eyes to him briefly, before sinking again to the depths of unconscious sleep.

  He never left her. He was there when one nurse removed the oxygen. He was there when another bathed her spent body. He was there when the doctor re-examined her and administered a second injection. He dozed occasionally in his chair, having slept not at all that night, but he never let go of her hand.

  By the late morning she was out of danger, as she had known she would be with proper medication, and had fallen into a deep and restful sleep. It was several hours later when she fully gained consciousness, opened her eyes to find Roberto’s, dark and clear, gazing at her.

  He smiled, so warmly that her heart turned over. “How do you feel?” he asked in a velvety voice, his smile offsetting the fatigue etched into the rest of his face.

  She was weak, though entirely lucid now. “Much better.” She paused, her eyes never straying from him, before continuing in a shaky voice. “Thank you for staying with me. I was terrified when I realized I didn’t have my medicine—I’m usually so careful.”

  Roberto’s finger went to her lips to silence them, remaining a moment too long in its feathery touch, before he quickly withdrew it. “Shhh. It’s all over now. You’ll be fine.”

  “When can I leave the hospital?”

  “The doctor says that you’ll need several more shots. And he’d like to keep you overnight just to make sure that you can keep food down. You gave us all quite a scare.” Again the warm, affectionate smile that Eva adored.

  She looked away from him then, her mind returning to the night before. In a timid voice she began, “Roberto? I’m sorry …” She looked at him as she finished, wanting him to know her sincerity. “I’m sorry … about last night. I didn’t mean to back out …”

  The sadness in his eyes matched hers, as he smiled gently at her and said nothing. She knew that her one chance was gone. Her body had betrayed itself. She dozed off again, as much in escape from her heartrending thoughts as in cure of her fever-scourged being.

  When she awoke it was supper time, and Roberto was just finishing some food he’d been brought. He looked better having eaten, though he was still exhausted. Eva felt well enough herself to worry about him.

  “You should get some rest,” she urged. “Where can you get some sleep?”

  “There’s a hotel down the street. I’ll take a room later. How do you feel?” he asked, his eyes scrutinizing her.

  “I really feel fine … just weak. That’s the way it always is,” she added with resignation.

  “Does this sort of thing happen often?” he asked skeptically, one eyebrow raising humorously.

  “No. Not since I was a child. When I got angry at my parents I’d eat fish.” She blushed in embarrassment. “It would punish them but good! Unfortunately, it punished me as well,” she laughed.

  “Now there’s some color in your cheeks. You look better!” His dark eyes twinkled at her, and with his head cocked at an appealing angle and his thick hair falling casually across his forehead, she could have hugged him. Instead, she quickly looked away so as not to foist on him her unsolicited affection.

  At that moment a familiar face peered around the edge of the partially opened door. “So this is where you two have been hiding!” burst out the genial voice, and Paul strode into the room, a broad grin on his face.

  Eva flinched imperceptibly at the subtle implication of his words, but she couldn’t restrain a smile at the
sight of his friendly expression. Oblivious to her discomfort, Paul went on.

  “We were pretty surprised to arrive for breakfast this morning and find that you had taken off for the night.” Now he must have caught the darkening in Roberto’s face, which Eva clearly saw at a glance, for he deftly smoothed the rough edges by turning his attention solely to her. “How are you feeling, Eva? I understand you were quite sick!”

  Eva needed some lightening up after the look at Roberto’s expression moments earlier. “Now how would you know that? How do you talk with Maria? Tell me your secret,” she teased with genuine curiosity.

  It worked. Both Paul and Roberto laughed at her question, exchanging mischievous winks at the same time. How alike they were, Eva thought once again.

  “So you’ve had trouble, eh? I know exactly what you’ve gone through. As for me, on the day that I received raw steak with my eggs, I decided to pick up a little Portuguese. Just a few words. They’ve served me well, at least as far as Maria is concerned. You should try it!” He laughed again.

  “I would,” she replied sincerely, “but since I’ll be leaving soon, that problem will solve itself.” Now she had done it herself! Oh, yes, that particular problem may be solved upon her departure, but another will only be beginning! A cold shudder passed through her, and Roberto immediately became alert.

  “Are you all right?” he asked formally.

  “Yes … yes … just a leftover spasm, I guess,” she excused herself quickly. A brief look at Roberto was enough to see the impatience in his eyes.

  Paul saved her. “What happened, Eva? Maria babbled something about fish, but my Portuguese isn’t that good. When did you take sick?”

  Poor Paul, moaned Eva to herself. If he only knew what he was asking! She didn’t dare look at Roberto as she answered. “Last night, maybe an hour or so after you all left, it hit. I’ve been allergic to fish since childhood, and unfortunately, I didn’t know there was any in the stew. To complicate matters, the medicine I always carry was buried in the landslide—it had been in my knapsack—and by the time I realized what was wrong, I was pretty far gone. However, I’m fine now, as you can see. Modern medicine does wonders!” She smiled her strongest smile to convince him, and herself. “What brings you down here?” she continued.

  “I saw Tom off about an hour ago. Pierre and Jacques flew out earlier. They were sorry to have missed you. They send their best.” Again the descent of an ominous cloud into the atmosphere. Eva felt her insides churn, partly in disappointment at not being able to say good-bye to the three, partly in anticipation of her own departure. Despite her own discomfort she realized that Roberto had been unusually silent during the conversation. Looking over at him, she caught him glowering at her with an intensity that tore into her. She had to think quickly.

  “Roberto, now that Paul is here, you don’t really have to stay. Maybe you want to get some rest …” It was the last thing she wanted to say. But having sensed his growing tension, it was the lesser of the evils. It hurt her more to feel his distaste for her than to ask him to leave. Up until Paul had arrived, they had existed in a kind of limbo, with no reminders of past enmity. His arrival had, however, brought back the stark reality of the situation. As kind as Roberto had been to her since she had been sick, she knew that it was only sympathy for her predicament, and a lingering sense of responsibility for her as a member of the team, which had kept him so close. The luxury of having him near her had to end somewhere. Paul might be able to cheer her, if that was at all possible.

  “I’ll stay for a few more minutes to make sure Paul doesn’t tire you,” he replied gruffly, “and then we’ll both find some place to sleep.” His tone relaxed a little as he turned to Paul. “You took a taxi in with the others? Then stay here tonight and we’ll go back to Terra Vermelho tomorrow morning.”

  Paul smiled affectionately. “I was hoping you’d say that. It’s not fair for you to have Eva all to yourself, you know!” He flushed faintly, realizing that he had unintentionally put his foot in his mouth again. He rushed on, searching the room with his eyes. “Where’s your camera, Eva? I thought photographers took advantage of every possible situation to get a picture!”

  She smiled somewhat ruefully. “I guess I’m not that much of a professional. When the action stirs up, I get too involved in what’s happening to think about taking pictures. It’s only afterward that I realize the terrific shots I’ve missed!”

  “I can’t blame you. I think I’d be the same way! It takes a certain amount of ruthlessness to be able to carry on as usual during tragedies, or near ones,” Paul added, understanding as always, “and you aren’t a ruthless person!”

  She shrugged modestly at the subtle compliment, stealing a sideways glance at Roberto, who was eyeing her intently, before replying to Paul. “Oh, I don’t know. I surprise myself sometimes at the things I photograph. But there was no way, for example, that I could have been able to photograph the landslide the other day. I didn’t even stop to wonder where my camera was until the whole thing was over! And as for last night, well, I was pretty out of it.” She flushed, again looking to Roberto for some response. The only one she received was an angry frown which immediately drained all pleasure from the conversation, from her point of view.

  “I guess I’ll never win a Pulitzer as a photojournalist,” she finished, suddenly feeling tired again. Mercifully, Roberto picked up on her mood.

  He rose, turned to Paul with instructions, and said tensely, “I’m going to speak to the doctor. Stay here with Eva until I get back, then we’ll go. I won’t be long.” Without a further look at Eva, he left the room, a heavy silence descending in his wake.

  Paul looked at Eva, who had closed her eyes and turned her head away from him. Even though he knew her feelings about Roberto, she didn’t want him to see the extent of the hurt she felt. But, like his brother, he was too perceptive for her.

  “Does it hurt that much, Eva?” he asked softly, as he sat down on the side of the bed.

  She remained as she was for a long minute, until she was betrayed by the tears which seeped from under her closed lids to slide onto her cheeks. Unable to speak, she nodded in affirmative response, throwing her arm across her eyes to salvage whatever dignity she could.

  Paul’s gentle hands reached to her shoulders and pulled her against him, stroking her hair soothingly as she gave way to the quiet weeping. She held onto him, absorbing his comfort, until she gained control of herself enough to draw away from him and lie down against the pillow.

  “Maybe you’d better wait outside for him, Paul. I don’t want him to see me like this. He’ll know right away!” She turned teary eyes to his in silent pleading. “Tell him I’ve fallen asleep. I really do feel tired.”

  Then she mustered one final spurt of energy. “Paul,” she began in a tremulous voice, “Promise me one thing? Please don’t tell him … about my … problem.” She couldn’t quite get herself to verbalize her love. “It is my problem. It will be hard enough leaving here as it is, but I don’t think I could stand his pity.” She implored him, “Promise?”

  He searched her face intently for several moments, and Eva feared that he might refuse her. Finally, in a voice strangely sad, he agreed. “Sure, Eva. And don’t worry. Things work out!” He smiled at her as he smoothed her curls away from her face once more and kissed her on the forehead in a brotherly manner before going out into the hall to intercept Roberto.

  Eva did not see either Roberto or Paul again that evening. The nurses made up for the absence by indulgently doting on her. She was brought some weak broth, the first food of any kind she had eaten since that fateful dinner. She was bathed. She was given a rubdown. The doctor visited her again, and she received, much to her relief, the final injection she would need.

  She couldn’t converse with most of her caretakers. The doctor in charge, as well as one of the nurses, did speak some fragmented English, but otherwise it was the interchange of facial expressions, hand motions, and alien words to which
she was becoming quite accustomed.

  She slept well that night. By the time she awoke the next morning, the sun was pouring into the room. It was the first time in quite a few days, mused Eva, that she had missed the dawn! Her body was back to normal, albeit a trifle weak. The doctors gave her a clean bill of health, and she was allowed a shower, much to her pleasure. The nurse on watch served her a huge breakfast, and then stood by as she ate every bit.

  It was by now midmorning, and she had little to do but wait for Roberto to arrive to pick her up. Getting out of bed, she put on the thin robe over her hospital gown, and stood by the window to soak in the rays of the sun. Even through the pallor which had accompanied her illness, a pink-golden tan shone on her previously wintery pale skin, the physical brand of the fireball which had beaten down on the mountain passes.

  Eva could see, even now, the mountains off in the distance. How fresh and inviting they looked, cloaked in the graceful haze of morning. She would miss them when she returned to New York. She would miss this clear air and, yes, its frequently oppressive heat. She would miss the people she’d come to know during the past week. She resolved to visit Paul and Tom in Boston at some point. Maybe …

  “Feeling better?” his voice was smooth, low, and velvety, as Eva twirled around to face him, marveling at how dashingly handsome he looked, freshly showered and shaven, even wearing the same clothes he had worn since the start of this ordeal.

  “I’m fine,” she smiled, conscious of how simple she must look in the skimpy hospital robe. But, after all, she had no clothes with her here. As though reading her thoughts, Roberto held out a large bag which had been tucked under his arm.

  “Here. I thought you might be able to use these. As ravishing as you look in my shirt, it won’t do for you to drive back to Terra Vermelho in broad daylight.” Eva blushed as he went on. “I hope the sizes are right. These will help replace the ones you lost.”