Before Ryan Was Mine (The Remembrance Trilogy - Prequel)

by Kahlen Aymes

  When it ended, I’d already loaded my stuff in my backpack and remained seated until the two girls in front of me rose from their seats.

  “So Ryan, do you live on campus?” Rita tried to make conversation as we waited for the people to my left to shuffle out in front of us. I was essentially standing next to Julia, while she waited in her row and I could smell her perfume wafting up like a musky dessert filled with vanilla and something that made my heart slam against my ribs.

  I shoved a hand in my pocket. “Nope.” I threw the answer over my shoulder with no other explanation and looked down at Julia. Her smiling eyes found mine, and she bit her lip to stifle a laugh. She knew I was blowing Rita off and she approved.

  I ignored Rita’s comment and spoke instead to the object of my new fascination. “So, as I was trying to say before, I’m…”

  “Ryan,” Julia interrupted. As long as I lived, I didn’t think I’d ever forget the first time this woman said my name. “Um… yeah, I heard. Before.”

  I smiled. “Yeah. Where you from?” I asked.

  “Kansas City. At least, my mom lives there. My dad is closer. San Francisco.”

  We inched our way toward the aisle as the students filed out.

  “Oh, is that why you chose Stanford?”

  “No. I mean, partly. It was the reputation, and my crystal ball said I was going to meet the greatest people here.”

  “How’s that working for ya?” I chuckled as we finally made it to the end of our row. I waited for her and Ellie to exit, allowing them to move ahead of me.

  “It was rough at first, but things are looking up.” She leaned in and nudged my arm with her shoulder and electricity shot through me like a lightning bolt. She was quite a bit shorter than me. I could have rested my chin on the top of her head, and I found myself wanting to do just that. I nudged back instead, and she laughed softly.

  A smile slid across my face again, the damn thing seeming to settle permanently on my lips. I was giddier than I’d ever been in the presence of a girl, but I felt at ease and comfortable, too. We slowly climbed the stairs toward the exit of the lecture hall, and I realized in literally seconds we’d be outside, and if I didn’t say something quick, I wouldn’t see her until the next class two days from now. I shook my head. Just because she made me hard beneath the belt and all soft and gooey inside didn’t mean I had to get stupid.

  Ellie turned as we poured out with the stream of other students from the auditorium into the foyer of the building. “See ya later, sweetie,” she said to Julia. Her gray eyes darted from me to Julia and she smiled devilishly, like the cat that swallowed the canary. “Nice to meet you, Ryan.”

  I panicked slightly, even knowing there was a chance I wouldn’t see them both on Wednesday—there was no assigned seating, and the hall was huge—I could easily miss her in the swarm of students. My backpack thrown over my shoulder, I rubbed the back of my neck.

  “Bye, hon.” Julia hesitated as Ellie left us. “Um…” She pointed in the direction of the library but hovered, not stepping in its direction. “Do you have another class now? I was going to go read the assignment in the library.”

  It was the first week of classes and most of the work would be reading, except the trigonometry and chemistry class I had next hour. I nodded, pulled my sunglasses out and shoved them on. “Unfortunately, I do.” I hoped she felt as disappointed as I did that we couldn’t keep talking. “Chem.”

  “Oh, that’s right. You’re a science snot.” Her lush lips smiled, as she squinted in the sun and lifted a hand to shade her eyes.

  I chuckled at her teasing. “Guilty. My entire family is, except my mother. Tell me about the ‘M’ on your butt.”

  Her eyebrow shot up. “What?” she asked incredulously.

  “The ‘M’,” I stammered. “On your butt. On your back pocket.” This was as good a way as any to make sure she knew who I was, even if it was a little awkward.

  She frowned, not understanding, then astonishment flooded her features, her eyes widening. “You were looking at my ass?”

  “Well, I couldn’t see your face.” Shit, this was weird. I felt out of my element, nervous and ridiculous. I couldn’t believe I’d just mentioned her ass. I laughed uncomfortably, hating myself for not being smoother. “My last name is Matthews. We have to be friends now. You’re branded. It’s a sign.” I was seriously attracted to this girl, but I wanted to know her mind more than I wanted to get in her pants. The thought left me stunned as I wondered if I could be friends with someone I was so in to.

  “Ah.” Her head nodded once as realization of what I was doing dawned on her. She raised her eyebrow and nodded to indicate someone was hovering behind me. I turned to look. It was the other girl from the lecture hall.

  “So, I’ll see you Wednesday?” Rita asked awkwardly, stammering slightly. I’d forgotten all about her and didn’t realize she was still around.

  I shoved one hand in the front pocket of my jeans and opened my mouth, then shut it again. Rita wasn’t the one I wanted to sit next to during the next class. “Um… I guess?” I inwardly grimaced as my eyes locked with Julia’s. I came off rude and that was unfortunate, but I wanted to speak to Julia, and I was running out of time before my next class.

  “Okay.” Rita answered shortly then turned away, disappointment clear on her face.

  I returned my attention to Julia.

  “The jeans are branded, for sure. Miss Me-s. Lots of girls have ‘M’s’ on their butt’s,” she challenged with a grin. “Are they all branded? ’Cuz, you don’t look like the kind of guy who lacks female companionship. Obviously.” Her eyes darted to mine then she nodded toward Rita’s retreating back.

  I bit my lip and my hand swiped through the side of my hair. The last thing I needed was Julia thinking I was a user. “I think there might be a compliment in there if I dig deep enough,” I teased. “Look, I wanted to meet you. So, sue me.”

  Our eyes met and held again, and I almost blurted out that I wanted her number. I told myself to get a grip. I never acted this dumb in front of a girl.

  Julia rocked on her heels and glanced at her watch. “You’re gonna be late.”

  “I’d blow it off if it wasn’t the first class of the semester. I really want to talk to you some more.” Suddenly, I was happier than hell that I didn’t get into Gerrity’s class last semester. I already liked this girl more than most I’d met at college and I’d only spoken to her for a few minutes. There was just something about her. Not the way she looked, though she was beautiful, but I wanted to know about her life, to invest time in her. It was a gut feeling, but this girl was going to be important to me, she was a long-term investment. “So maybe you could agree to meet me outside the lecture hall on Wednesday and we can sit together. Then this class might be bearable?”

  Julia’s smile widened immediately, and she nodded. “Okay, sure. I’ll make sure my ass is branded. But that other girl will be bummed.”

  I smiled back and wished I had more time to get her number. “Oh, well. Good. See ya.”

  “Uh huh. Bye, Ryan.” She waved awkwardly and started off toward the library.

  I turned in the opposite direction, took three steps and stopped. “Hey, Julia,” I called over the others walking between us. “If you can wait an hour for lunch, I’ll be in the Student Union snack bar.”

  A brilliant smile flashed, and I waited, knowing I would have to run to my class now. Something wouldn’t let me leave without knowing I’d see her later.

  “Sounds good.”

  My heart sped up, and the silly smile returned and didn’t budge the whole time I ran across campus. Anticipation made my heart race more than the exercise. This was stupid. I met girls all the time and most of the time I couldn’t give a shit. There were always more girls to meet, and a missed opportunity usually wasn’t a big deal. Julia was a big deal to the point I couldn’t wait for this hour to get out of the fucking way. I burst through the door to my class and breathlessly found a seat at the back,
flopping down quickly amid glances from the others around me. Yeah… this girl was gonna be important.

  Wow. Just wow.

  My face hurt from smiling, and dang if the book in front of me could hold my attention. It didn’t help that this shit was boring as hell; it was made worse because my mind was full of the guy I’d just met in the class. He was like a magnet—too gorgeous not to notice, and I’d seen him take the seat behind me right before that blonde girl started talking to him. My heart had plummeted, thinking she’d mean I’d miss any chance of meeting him myself, and I’d have to resort to the high school tactics of trying to sit near him for the next class. The only problem was, the auditorium was huge and chances were good I’d never find him. Which was why it was so great when he’d taken it upon himself to butt into my conversation with Ellie.

  I saw Ellie checking him out, too. Who wouldn’t? Tall, easily over six feet, built, golden skin and sun-kissed hair, brilliant, dark blue eyes, and that face. There were no words for that face. Strong jaw, killer dimples, bright white smile, straight nose, and that tiny cleft in his chin. Beautiful couldn’t cut it. And, to top it all off, he was nice. I mean, really nice. Even though he’d been checking me out, for the first time in a long time, I felt like a guy was really interested in what I had to say. Matthews. Ryan Matthews. Matthews with an “M.” On my ass. I laughed softly to myself, pleasure shooting through me like fireworks. Sure, the sweet persona could be a ruse to suck in unsuspecting victims. I’d seen that crap often enough, but something inside me told me he was different. I intensely hoped he was.

  I glanced at the clock again and gave up trying to read the textbook in front of me, flipping it shut and unzipping my black backpack to slide it inside. I still had fifteen minutes until I was supposed to meet Ryan, and I felt a little nervous. He was so pretty; surely, there were a bevy of women vying for his attention. What if he didn’t show up? My stomach dropped before I could stop it, but I hoisted the heavy bag of books over my right shoulder and slowly made my way toward the Student Union. I didn’t want to get there too early and look like an anxious jerk standing around waiting. I didn’t want to order lunch without him. Ugh. I was overthinking this way too much. It was crazy, but something about him was unnerving and comforting at the same time. He seemed really genuine, so I didn’t know why I was acting so ridiculous. Maybe it was the way every woman who came near him stared.

  I found the bathroom and made my way inside; weaving in and around all of the women coming out, all with book bags made for a tight fit. My eyes widened as I took stock of my reflection in the wall-to-wall mirrors over the sinks, and quickly dug out the hairbrush and lip-gloss I kept in the front pocket of the backpack. Normally, I wasn’t one to retouch; I reapplied a light glaze of the gloss on my lips and smoothed my hair slightly. I didn’t want to appear overly anxious to Ryan and I chastised myself as I made this small deviation from my usual routine. I replaced the items in my bag and smoothed the dark denim over my thighs.

  When I left the bathroom, I stopped to scan the snack bar. It was nice, set up like a restaurant with wooden booths and several tables with chairs. Ryan hadn’t said exactly where inside I was supposed to meet him and my eyes scanned the room. No sign of him yet, but the Student Union was large and there were a lot of students walking through, hovering around tables, and at the end of a few of the booths. I felt self-conscious; walking around like a moron, looking into booths and glancing around like I was lost. Many sets of curious eyes met mine while I wandered around seeking the striking blue gaze of the man I met two hours earlier.

  I caught sight of him quickly pushing in the front entrance doors, his eyes scanning the room. He didn’t see me right away but was rapidly set upon by a group of students: a dark-haired man and two women—one with long blonde hair and one with cropped red locks. I was anxious and my feet wanted to move toward him, but I hesitated as I watched the group engage him. His gorgeous face split into a grin and he nodded, the blonde’s hand coming out to wrap around his bare forearm. He was wearing jeans and a long sleeved white T-shirt, the cuffs shoved up to show strong muscle and golden skin beneath her fingers, the blue and green plaid shirt he wore over it, hung open. He looked hot; the layers doing nothing to disguise the hard planes of his chest and stomach underneath the fine, close-fitting cotton material, nor the broad shoulders. The two women gazed at him in dazzled silence, and I wondered if Ryan was even aware of it, though it was quite obvious to the rest of the world. It was sort of silly, and I made a mental note not to allow myself to act like an idiot around him. I took slow steps toward him to make sure he saw me, not wanting to interrupt the conversation with his friends.

  He bent slightly to listen to something the woman touching him said, but his eyes continued their search for me. My heart stopped when his gaze finally landed on mine, and his lips lifted in the start of a small smile. He was so breathtakingly handsome. This was a chance just to look at him. He put up his hand and spoke to the group around him. Excusing himself, he walked toward me with his backpack slung over his right shoulder. The two girls turned to watch him walk away, disappointment and curiosity in their eyes as they looked me over thoroughly.

  “Hey.” His soft voice washed over me warmly as he flashed a quick smile.

  He was several inches taller than me, and I had to look up into his face. I wanted to bite my lip, hardly able to contain the grin that was trying to break out across my mouth. “Hey,” I returned. “How was class?”

  “Boring as hell. I can’t wait until all of this basic shit is out of the way. Want to find a place to sit, and then I can get us something to eat?”

  “Yeah. Did you want to invite your friends to join us?”

  Ryan smiled again and shook his head. “Nah.”

  He motioned toward an empty booth in the corner and I preceded him to it, flung my backpack in, and shoved it closer to the wall as I slid in. Ryan did the same across from me. I watched him run a hand through his hair.

  “Did you get the psych assignment read?” he asked.

  “Ugh,” I rolled my eyes, and Ryan chuckled. “It was so bad I couldn’t concentrate. I think I’ll have to read it out loud to get through it.”

  “That’s what I’m afraid of. Maybe we can take turns then just fill each other in.”

  I smiled, leaning back against the booth, pleased at the prospect of studying together. It meant I’d be seeing more of him and I wanted nothing more. “Okay.”

  We started talking and time flew. We talked about my parents’ divorce, his life growing up in Chicago, how his family adopted his best friend when they were ten and my father’s latest criminal case, both of us leaning in toward each other intently. I ate up his words and he was equally engaged; truly interested in all I was telling him. We fell into a rhythm that was easy, yet made my heart thud inside my chest. I’d forgotten I was hungry until my stomach rumbled loudly and Ryan chuckled.

  My eyes widened. “Wow. That’s embarrassing.”

  “It’s my fault! I promised you lunch and I’ve completely failed.” He looked around at the clock on the wall. It was ten minutes to three. “The grill closes soon so we’d better order. What would you like?”

  “I’m not picky. Grilled chicken sandwich and tea?”

  “I’ll be back.” I watched him walk away, and couldn’t help but admire the easy grace with which he moved or the eyes that followed his every move. I wondered about the young woman he was speaking to before. Surely she wasn’t his girlfriend or she would have joined us for lunch. In no time, I had the sandwich, green tea and a pile of fries in front of me. Ryan had a burger, onion rings, and a Coke. He shoved the rings toward me. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted fries or rings, so…”

  I pushed my fries in the middle of the table, too. “How ‘bout we share?”

  Ryan smiled and grabbed an onion ring. “I hoped you’d say that.” He dipped it in the ketchup I squirted alongside and took a big bite. “How come I haven’t seen you around before?”

&nb
sp; I lifted my right shoulder in a half-shrug. “Not sure. I don’t socialize much. First semester, I was worried about my grades so I kept to the books. Wasn’t sure what to expect, you know?” My eyes flashed up, and he was intently studying my face. I reluctantly reached for my sandwich. “Plus, you’re in arts and science and I’m business admin. It isn’t likely we’d share many classes.”

  Ryan nodded. “Yeah, that sucks. So, business,” he said, using it as if it were my name, “What are you going to declare?”

  I swallowed the food in my mouth before I answered. “Well, I’m having trouble deciding, because, really, I’d like to double in marketing and art, but it crosses the schools, so they won’t allow it.”

  “So, you’re an artist, then?”

  “I feel weird saying that.” I shrugged a little, despite loving it and being told by teachers, friends, and family that I was talented, I still hesitated to allow myself the luxury of the label. “I’ve always been artistic, and I’d like to do something with it when I graduate, but my dad doesn’t think there is much of a financial future in it. So, the best I can do is take as many art electives as possible. I’ll also take extra classes during the summers so I can get the requirements in and, at least, mimic the major. Even if I can’t say I have a degree, I’ll have the knowledge.”

  “I see. That makes a lot of sense.” The admiration on his face sent a small thrill through me. “It’s sort of the same for me. Stanford doesn’t offer a pre-med program per se, so I have to pick a science curriculum that I like best as a major that will still facilitate my getting into medical school.” I watched him talk, how he moved his hands and the expressions that changed his features. “At this point, I’m leaning toward chem or bio.”