Messiah of Burbank - An Urban Fantasy

by Paul Neuhaus

  The girls stood in silence for a while. Josie kicked some water Lailah’s way and Lailah returned the splash. The two girls stood there for a while enjoying the sun.

  After they held a brief ceremony for Ferley and committed his body to the Astral Plane, David gave a nervous speech to the assembled Jihma. He showed them the yam symbol Ferley had given him and most were appalled. What Ferley had done broke every protocol in the book. Then again, it was his right to bestow the office onto whomever he saw fit. “Look,” Olkin said. “If I was sitting where you’re sitting, I’d be feeling the same things you’re feeling right now. You don’t know me, you don’t know what kind of man I am and, what’s more, I come from the other fucking team. But I liked Pat; I respected him, and I’ll do everything I can to uphold what he stood for.” There were no rousing cheers or even any half-hearted encouragements. It was clear even the most liberal Tilted had deep reservations. But there was nothing Olkin could do. He respected the tradition of paurvāparya. Between the lack of obvious support and everyone’s continuing nausea, Ferley’s funeral ended on a down note.

  Once they were back inside, Quinn said, “What happens next?”

  “I have no idea what happens next,” David replied. “Both sides are licking their wounds from the maya draining incident. I don’t know if the effects’ll be long-term. Presumably, we’ll recover in time. One thing’s for sure, though. You’re getting the fuck out of Dodge. For one thing, you’re a loose cannon and we can no longer trust your powers. For another, you’re like a bullseye hanging over us. Adam Johns’d love a chance to take you off the table. It can’t be lost on him that you caused a major magical mishap today. If I were him, I’d be thinking that presents a rare strategic opportunity. If they weren’t all woozy just like us, I suspect he’d have attacked already.” The agent looked around until his eyes settled on a particular person. “Brad! Could you come over here for a moment, please?” Brad obliged. “It’s a long story, but I need you to take Quinn home for me. Have you ever been to her house?”

  Brad grinned and shook his head. “Sadly, Quinn is spoken for.”

  “You’ve been by the Disney Studio, right?”

  “Oh, yeah. Bunches of times.”

  “Good. Take her to Disney’s.”

  Olkin started to walk away. Henaghan called after him. “Keep me posted, okay? Let me know what’s going on.”

  David nodded and was on his way again.

  “He pissed at you?” Brad said.

  “Looks that way.”

  “Okay. Well, let’s get you home.” The shopkeeper held out his hand and the redhead took it. A moment later, they were standing in front of the Disney gate on Riverside Dr.

  It was raining in Burbank.

  Quinn told Brad she was fine and could walk to her house on her own. The man was reluctant to let her go but gave her a slight hug and teleported back to the Ranch.

  As she walked back through the misty precipitation, Henaghan kept her head down and her eyes on the pavement. Soon her red hair clung to her head in heavy strands. She heard a clacking from up ahead, but she didn’t raise her eyes. She just wanted to get back to the house, put on some dry clothes and drink something fiery hot.

  A few feet in front of her, the clacking stopped, and a voice followed. “You should really watch where you’re going,” it said.

  Quinn looked up. The owner of the voice was Ciara, the White Lady. The clacking had come from her high heels. Over her head, she held a transparent umbrella. “What’re you doing?” Henaghan said, suddenly shot through with excitement. “Out here in the rain?”

  Ciara shifted her weight and put her free hand on her hip. “Walking. I saw you and I wanted to tell you to keep it up. I’ve been thinking all day about your kisses.”

  Quinn flushed. It wasn’t just dreams. It was real. “I don’t understand. What’s happening between us?”

  The White Lady smiled and resumed walking. She stopped when she was even with the redhead. She leaned in and said, “Quinn, there’s nothing to understand. Call me again and I’ll be there.” She leaned out again and continued walking in the direction of the Disney Studio.

  Standing stock still in the rain, every neuron in Quinn’s brain fired at once.

  When Quinn walked into her home she was soaked to the bone. She was tired but most of her nausea and the numbness on her left side had dissipated. As soon as she entered the living room, she saw her two housemates. Molly was pacing back and forth, and Josie was on the couch watching her pace. Both of them turned to Henaghan as soon as she became visible.

  Blank ran over to Quinn and pulled her into a crushing embrace. She held her for a long time then she took a step back, retaining her grip on her girlfriend’s shoulders but keeping her at arm’s length. “Where the fuck’ve you been? You said you’d be right back! You didn’t come right back.”

  “I know,” Henaghan said. “There were complications.”

  “There’re always complications!” Molly said, and, for the first time, Quinn saw the brunette was truly pissed. “Did you do anything stupid?”

  The redhead winced, but she didn’t lie. “Yes, but not on purpose. I was trying to save Ferley, but then Ferley died.”

  “Everywhere you go someone dies,” Molly said. “This has got to stop. This craziness. I’m not going to sit home anymore waiting for you, wondering if you’re even gonna come home. If this thing’s gonna work between you and me, you need to start treating me with respect. My dad died, Quinn. Have you asked me how I’m doing? Have you tried to console me? You need to stop running headfirst into whatever danger pops up. You need to start thinking about other people and how it affects them. You’ve gotta choose what you want. Either it’s me or its your fucking wizard shit!” With that, the brunette tromped out of the living room and into the bedroom. She slammed the door behind her.

  Quinn plopped down into one of the chairs and sighed.

  “Wow,” Josie said. “That was harsh.”

  “Hey, at least she didn’t hit me.”

  Taft scowled. “I’m in the I’ll die before I apologize phase of teenager-hood.”

  Henaghan almost smiled. “I remember that phase. Anyway, Molly’s right. She’s beyond right. Just because I’m a Channeler, it doesn’t give me the right to act like a selfish shithead. I think maybe I’m on the cusp of a full-on retirement.”

  “Wow. For real? Are Aja’s allowed to retire?”

  Quinn shrugged. “There’s no precedent so I guess I get to set one.”

  “Well, you should at least take it easy for a while. You look like shit.”

  “I know. Look, I’ll give Molly a minute before I go in there. If I go right now, she’s gonna throw something at me. I wanna talk to you. Forget about the punching. The punching never happened. Where’s your head at? Can you tell me? Do you wanna tell me?”

  “I’ll tell you,” Josie said. The girl picked up a sugar cube and popped it into her mouth. “I mean it’s kind of a gimme if you think about it. I was an accident. My real dad wanted no part of me. My mom’s a fruit loop. Now pop pop and Uncle Glen have left too. I mean I know they didn’t leave leave me. It wasn’t their idea, but the outcome’s the same. How am I feeling? I guess ‘abandoned’ is the right word.”

  “I know,” Quinn said. “I mean that makes perfect sense to me. It’s maybe important you feel that for a while, but I want you to know you’ve still got structure in your life. People that care about you. I did something that maybe I should’ve asked you about first.”

  “What was it?” Josie asked, suddenly leery.

  “Well, you know I called your mom. I’m not going to lie to you about how that went. She seems like a deeply troubled woman. After that conversation, I talked to David about getting me a referral for a lawyer. Someone who knows about child custody. Like I say, I should’ve asked your permission first, but I wanted to get the ball rolling. I want you to live here with me and Molly.”

  Taft broke out in tears. She couldn’t speak.

>   “I mean, would that be okay?”

  The teenager, still unable to form words, nodded.

  “Okay, good. I should probably go get myself out of the doghouse. Also, I should tell Molly what I just told you. I didn’t tell her either so maybe she’s right about me being a reckless dumbass.” The redhead stood and walked toward the bedroom.

  She didn’t get far before a small voice said, “Aunt Quinn?”

  Quinn stopped and looked back at Josie.

  “If we do this… This thing you’re talking about. You can’t go. You can’t die.”

  Henaghan smiled. “I think that’d be the best outcome for everyone involved.”

  Quinn went into the bedroom and sat down on the base of the bed. Molly had her back against the headboard. She also had the comforter pulled up to her chin. She looked both sad and defiant.

  “I need to talk to you about some stuff,” Henaghan said. “I asked David for a referral. For an attorney.”

  Blank’s eyes opened wide. “An attorney?! You can’t divorce me. We’re not even married.”

  The younger woman smiled. It was a fair misinterpretation of what she’d just said. “No. Not a divorce attorney. A custody guy. I want us to take care of Josie.”

  Molly said, “Oh. Yeah, duh. First let me—”

  Quinn held up a hand. “Ah. You didn’t let me finish. I was also gonna tell you I think I’m gonna pull a Danny Glover.”

  Molly was older than Quinn, so she got the reference to Lethal Weapon. “What do you mean? You’re getting too old for this shit?”

  “Yeah. My life over the past year has been… checkered. I mean, I’ve got you, but I’ve also got this whole other situation where I go off and I do things and people die and I almost die and I’m thinking between you and the kid and my Overchanneling maybe I oughta take it easy. Take an early retirement. It’s not like I’m earning a living being Sorcerer Supreme. If anything, it’s more trouble than it’s worth.”

  “You’re gonna bail on the magic shit?”

  “That’s the idea, yeah.”

  “Quinn. Don’t let them pull you back in. They’ll try and pull you back in.”

  “Barring danger to the immediate family, they won’t. They can’t. Just let me do one last, basic thing for David and I’ll hang up my spurs.”

  “Deal,” Molly said, growing more vulnerable. “I think, if we’re gonna have a child, you should make me an honest woman.”

  “Deal,” the redhead said. “But, I hope you don’t think you gotta get me to marry you to get my full attention. I know you lost your dad, and I know I let myself get distracted away from helping out. That wasn’t cool and I’m sorry. I’ll do my best to be all the things for you you are to me. Anyhow, if we’re gonna go the nuclear family route, I need to come clean: I saw this beautiful blonde. I’ve seen her several times. The other day, I saw her when I went for a walk in front of Disney’s. Ever since, she’s been coming to me in dreams. Highly erotic dreams. Dreams that aren’t just dreams. The other day, when you caught me cumming in bed, that’s what it was. Today, I saw her again. The blonde. In front of Disney’s. She told me to keep dreaming about her. It’s— I don’t know what it is exactly.”

  Blank pushed the comforter down around her waist and adjusted her position on the bed. She put on her lensless glasses. “The next time you go for a walk,” she said. “In front of Disney’s. I’m coming along so I can fully scratch out this blond bitch’s eyes.”

  Quinn laughed. “But, Thelma… Isn’t that a revenge?”

  “I don’t give a flying rat-fuck.”

  Josie sat on her bed with her legs folded underneath herself and her hands in her lap. Her eyes were closed. In front of her, the membrane pulsed and shivered. A voice only Taft could hear spoke to her. “Mind the lessons of the cave. Who is the one in control?”

  “I am the one in control,” the teenager said.

  “You must never forget that. You must never allow weakness inside yourself ever again. If you are not weak, you cannot show weakness. Do you understand?”

  “Yes, I understand.”

  The membrane bulged, and a creature came through. A phantasm. A big one. It moved like a predator, slow and confident. The girl raised her head and opened her eyes. She did not shrink when she saw the Astral being approach. She watched it with disinterest bordering on contempt. She saw that it was mostly black vapor with an erratic stripe of white going down its underside. For a moment, she thought she would call the phantasm “Orca”. Nisha spoke again, and her voice was tinged with irritation. “Do not name the Vidyaadhara. It is beneath you. Unworthy of such an honor. To name is to acknowledge worth.” The phantasm was less than a foot away from Josie now and it hovered in space, trying to make sense of its new relationship. Taft raised a hand to touch it. Again, Nisha spoke and, again, she was annoyed. “That,” she said. “Is a creature of the Astral Plane. It has the power to guide. It has the power to destroy. Does it look like a kitten to you?”

  Josie sighed and did not answer. Instead she turned her attention back to the membrane and reissued her call. The membrane bulged again and again until several more Vidyaadhara had come through. As they encircled the teenager and swam around her, Josie rose from the bed and floated there.

  “Good,” Nisha said. “Very good.”

  The closest living Asura to Los Angeles was in Las Vegas, Nevada. He was the owner of a broken-down casino on Fremont Street, the older, shittier part of town. The Rabble-rouser. Quinn found him using the same method she’d used to find David Olkin. In fact, the job was easier since Asura have a particularly obvious magical signature. By seeking the man out, she hoped to do Olkin one more favor.

  Then it was time to retire.

  Henaghan appeared in an alley next to the casino and walked around to the front entrance. The phrase “low rent” came immediately to mind. The entryway was small and, between the two main doors, was a carved wooden statue of a Scottish hooligan. Maybe the titular Rabble-rouser? Quinn went in, sat down next to a slot machine and waited. She didn’t have to wait long.

  The redhead was approached by a Don Rickles lookalike who’s eyes flitted side to side when he talked. “Miss Henaghan? Quinn Henaghan?”

  “That’s right,” Quinn said, sitting up straight. “You have me at a disadvantage.”

  The Rickles wannabe smirked. “Yeah, I got you at a disadvantage like Reggie Verbic had you at a disadvantage. What do you want?”

  Henaghan looked around. Surely, the place had offices. “Shouldn’t we talk somewhere private?”

  “Hell to the no,” the man said, using a piece of modern vernacular Quinn had not expected. “You’re not getting me alone. I got a business to run. I’m not ending up like Reggie or poor Chuck Sato.”

  Quinn rolled her eyes. “Right. Poor Chuck Sato. Have it your own way.” She settled on her uncomfortable stool. “You can relax. I’m not here to kill you.”

  “I don’t relax. That’s why I’m still in the game. People who relax wind up dead.”

  “You missed your calling, you really shoulda been Joe Pesci.”

  He finally stopped looking side to side and settled his eyes on Quinn. “Yack yack yack. What do you want?”

  “Aren’t you gonna tell me your name?”

  “No, I am not. As soon as you ask me whatever you’re gonna ask me and I answer whatever I’m gonna answer, you can call me ‘Goodbye’.”

  Henaghan sighed. “Alright. Fine. You know anything about a Deva? Goes by the name of ‘Nisha’. Apparently, she’s been here for a while now. On Earth. Monkey-wrenching your plans from day one.”

  “Not quite day one, but, yeah, early. I know her. I know the name.”

  “She’s been a pain in your necks.”

  “More like a schmeckle in the tuchus. But, yeah, you ain’t lyin’.”

  “I’m wondering… There was one of her and a bunch of you guys. Why didn’t you do something about it?”

  “We did do something about it. We were constantly tryi
ng to put the kibosh on her interfering. Problem was, she’s a devious little bitch. She was always at least one step ahead of us. At least one step.”

  “Okay, fine, but that’s not what I meant. Why didn’t you ever you know…?”

  “Off her?”

  “Yeah.”

  The casino owner looked at Quinn as if she were impaired. “Do you not—? You don’t, do you? Boy, for being the Aja, you’re kind of a dim bulb.”

  Quinn scowled. “Indulge me. I wasn’t brought up in the tradition.”

  “Why didn’t we ever off Nisha? Because we couldn’t, that’s why. None of our human Channelers were strong enough to do it (we didn’t have any fancy Aja) and we weren’t allowed to do it ourselves.”

  “Not allowed? What do you mean not allowed?”

  “Allowed’s maybe the wrong word. It’s a physics thing. You know how the Asura and the Deva are opposites, right?”

  Henaghan nodded.

  “If an Asura and a Deva were to fight, catastrophes would ensue. We’re talking Old Testament. You know how the world has a different shape now than it did when Aisling was romping around?”

  Again, the redhead nodded.

  “That happened because one of us had finally had enough of Nisha’s meddling. He attacked, she fought back and voila! continental drift.”

  “Shut the fuck up!”

  “If I’m lying, I’m dying.”

  “So, just to be clear, if I had a line on where Nisha was and what she was up to, you guys wouldn’t be interested in maybe playing a hand in her downfall?”

  The casino boss smiled. “Again, hell to the no. Not only would we not be looking to shake the planet apart we also don’t have a dog in the fight. Not anymore. Nisha wants to kill all human Channelers. Now, at this point, I’m sure I speak for all of us when I say, ‘Have at it, bitch’. Even the Resolute stopped being loyal to us long ago. If she wants to smack you all down and use your guts as ukulele strings, she’s more than welcome as far as the Asura are concerned.”