by Sara V. Zook
“You said she’s probably not fully functioning. I doubt she even knows who you are anymore. What does it matter?”
I clenched my hands into fists at my side, then unrolled my fingers one at a time. “I don’t know exactly what her state is. That’s why I’m going.”
She glared at me, then put her hands on her hips. “Fine. Then I’ll just stay in the hotel while you go to the hospital.”
I shrugged. “Fine by me.”
“Fine,” Violet said, darting up the staircase to start packing.
TWO
Darin
I pulled up beside the hotel. The rain was coming down in sheets. Vi hadn’t said much on the drive to Cauldswell. Then again, I hadn’t either. What was there really to say? There were too many what-ifs on my mind at the moment. I would’ve probably snapped at her if she’d asked me anything about Livvy. I hadn’t told her much about my past relationship, just the basics. We were married—she was in an accident--she’s in a coma. I tried to make it sound as painless as possible. No woman likes feeling like they have to live up to someone else’s standard. I never wanted Violet to feel that way. I didn’t want that to start now. Livvy had been a ghost that hadn’t haunted me in quite some time. I’d gotten rid of nearly everything that reminded me of her. It was better that way. To me, she had died. I had grieved. I had moved on. Now I was just nervous as hell. We’re not supposed to be able to unbury our loved ones. I didn’t know what I was walking into. I had to keep my cool with Vi sitting next to me in the car.
“You going straight to the hospital now?” she asked, sticking her nose up at the thick gray clouds in the sky. “Wish I would’ve brought an umbrella. You don’t have one in here?”
“Yeah, I might as well go and get it over with,” I answered. “And no, I don’t have one in here.”
“Who doesn’t have an umbrella in their car?” She turned to me then. “I’ll go check into the hotel and get situated. Call me as soon as you get a chance, okay?”
I nodded. “Sounds good.”
“Promise?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. Pop the trunk. I’m going to get my bag out and take it with me.” Violet leaned in and pressed her lips to mine, leaving the kiss to linger there for a few seconds. “Don’t be long,” she whispered as she pulled her head away. “I’ll be waiting for you.”
I watched Vi’s slim form go inside the hotel. Then I gripped both hands tightly onto the top of the steering wheel and took a moment to exhale. I didn’t want to go to the hospital, but I did at the same time. Maybe that person that had called was playing a sick joke, and I’d get there and find out Livvy was still in a coma, still in Rhinesdale Community Home where I’d left her. I put the car into gear and drove off down the wet street.
I arrived at the hospital about five minutes later. I was lucky enough to find a spot to park in a garage so I didn’t have to walk through the rain. I stuffed my hands in my pockets. With each stride closer to Livvy, my palms became sweaty and clammy.
“Can I help you, sir?”
I looked at the young girl sitting behind the desk. “I need the room for… Livvy Thorne.” Man, I hadn’t said that name in a long time.
The girl politely smiled, nodded, and headed me in the right direction for the elevator. Minutes later, I was walking down the same floor that Livvy was on. I scanned the numbers on each room. Coming up on Livvy’s, I saw that her door was open. I peeked in. A curtain was up surrounding the bed, hiding anyone behind it.
I cleared my throat and swallowed hard as I forced my feet to shuffle a few steps inside the entranceway. “Um, hello? Anyone here?” Then I waited.
The curtain slowly pulled back, and a familiar face looked back at me. “Livvy,” I said, walking slowly over to her. “My god, it’s true.”
Her entire face lit up when she saw me. “Darin! Darin! Oh my goodness! Darin, you came!” she squealed.
I stood a distance away from the bed and examined her. All those times I’d prayed for her to wake up, and here she was, sitting straight up in bed with that bright, bubbly smile of hers. She was thin—wow, so very thin. Nothing but a pile of bones. Then again, she hadn’t exactly been able to chew up food for a very long time. I guess that’ll do it to you. Her cheeks were sunken in, but those big blue eyes of hers stuck out just the same. Her dirty-blonde hair was cut short and was disheveled, but she had it tucked behind her ears.
“Oh, Darin.” She was examining me, too. I’d probably aged since she remembered me. “Come over here. Take a seat. There’s a chair right over there.”
I took my hands out of my pockets and clumsily reached for the chair. It made a screeching noise as I pulled it over to the side of her bed.
She grinned again. “Hi.”
I cracked a smile myself. “Hi.” I rested a hand on the edge of the bed. She quickly picked up my hand with hers and intertwined her fingers with mine. My stomach did a little flip-flop sensation at her touch. “I just drove in to see you.” I looked down at the floor for a moment. “I…I don’t exactly know where to begin.”
“I don’t either,” she whispered. “I can’t believe this happened to me. Seven years, Darin? Has it really been that long?”
I nodded. “Sadly, yes.”
She frowned then, one of her fingers massaging the inside of my palm. “Tell me everything.”
“Starting where?”
“The accident. How’d that happen?”
I was suddenly very aware that our hands were so tightly clenched together. A pang of guilt zipped through me, adding more misery to my already churning guts. I wasn’t with Livvy anymore. I was with Violet. With that, I pulled my hand away from hers and shoved it back in my pocket. I watched her face turn to surprise at this, but she simply placed her hand on her belly and continued to stare at me intently.
“You were going to a friend’s baby shower. Do you remember that?” I asked her.
She shook her head. “No.”
“Do you remember being a teacher? You taught fifth grade science.”
She pressed her lips together into a small smile. “Yes. That I do remember.”
I swallowed, trying to remember all of the details of a night I had struggled to forget. “A drunk driver hit you head-on. He crossed the double yellow lines. He was going very fast and pushed your car off of the side of a cliff and straight into a lake below.” I saw her try to remember, but it didn’t seem like she recalled any of that. “It was winter. The water was freezing cold, and you’d hit your head off of something and then hit it again when the car went into the water. Someone saw the whole thing happen, the person that had been driving behind you. They called 911 and the rescuers got to you in time before you drowned. But you also had a loss of oxygen for a while that added to the whole situation with your brain.”
“And the drunk driver?” she asked.
I licked my lips. “Dead.”
She covered her mouth in horror.
“So you got helicoptered to a trauma center. Must’ve went through what seemed like a hundred different doctors. All of them said the same thing. Your brain wasn’t working properly, it never would. You were able to breathe on your own and had some brain activity but not much. You were in a coma as if just in a deep, deep sleep you could never come out of.”
“Oh, Darin.” Livvy smoothed back her hair with her hand. I noticed she was wearing her wedding band and the engagement ring I’d gotten for her. “Why didn’t you just let me die?”
I took my hands out of my pockets and folded them together on top of my thighs. “I couldn’t. I just couldn’t…” I hesitated, not knowing how else to explain it. I had been madly in love with her and didn’t want to give up hope. I couldn’t say that now. It would just sound silly and not at all real, because the truth was that I didn’t love this woman anymore.
She nodded her head as if understanding without having the need for me to say more. “Well, I guess that gets me caught up on what I was doing—laying in a bed for seven years w
hile the world around me went on.” Livvy looked at me, sadness filling her eyes. She looked like she wanted to reach over and touch me but didn’t. “How have you been, Darin? You look really good.”
“I’m good, Liv, real good. Same old job but moved up a couple of positions.”
“That’s really great.”
Small talk. That’s all it was now. She wanted to know more about what I’d been up to, but the uncertainty was written all over her face. Did she really want to know?
“The house?” she finally asked.
I sighed. “I sold it.”
“Oh.”
We had picked out that house together and moved in right after we’d gotten back from our honeymoon in the Bahamas. She’d painted the fence outside white and wanted little daisies planted beside the porch. I shook my head to get myself out of the memory. “I had to, Liv,” I whispered. “I was in too much pain, and I couldn’t stand being in that house anymore without you in it. You have to understand that, don’t you?”
“I do.” A large, blue vein began to pop out on the side of her neck. “This is all just so…overwhelming.” The tears filled her blue eyes then. She quickly wiped them away before they could even fall. “I had a life, you know. It seems like yesterday you and I were talking about possibly making that office room into a nursery. We were making plans to try to have a baby. Do you remember, Darin?”
The way she said my name struck a familiar cord. Hearing her voice seemed so surreal. I sighed. “Yeah, of course I remember.”
“I had a life,” she repeated, her eyes filling up again. This time she let the tears fall down her cheeks. It was too much for her to handle. “And now it’s all gone—my job, my house, my dreams…everything. You and me, we built a life together. Do I still have you, Darin, or was that taken from me also?”
I didn’t have the heart to tell her about Vi. It wouldn’t be fair to spring that up on her, not now. I’d have to let things settle a little bit and then bring up the situation. I just couldn’t bear to see her having to go through all of this and thinking she was on her own. She was still legally my wife after all.
“Hey, listen, I’m here now,” I whispered, handing her a tissue and wrapping my arm around her shoulders. “I’m here.” I felt her lean her head against me as she continued to cry. I looked down at that mound of short, wavy hair and almost reached up with my free hand to stroke her head but refrained. I had to remind myself that even though Livvy was my wife, Violet had my heart, and all I could think about at that moment, besides how very sorry I felt for Liv, was thank god Vi hadn’t come with me to the hospital.
THREE
Violet
It was already dark outside by the time Darin got back to the hotel. I was sprawled across the bed, the TV was on, and I was hungry and grumpy having been trapped inside this room for most of the day. Patience had never been my best attribute. He came in the door and put down his suitcase, gave me a quick smile, and ran into the bathroom. I tapped my long pink fingernails along the mattress. I so badly wanted to know how it went. Darin hadn’t kept any pictures of Livvy up, thank god, but I saw plenty of her in his parents’ house. His mother still had their wedding picture hanging on the wall. I mean, I get it, but it also hurts a little. It’s not like this just happened last year. It was a long time ago, and Darin and I had been together longer than his marriage had lasted. Legally he was still married, but no one saw him as still wed. A technicality I guess. I just wanted to move past this point and get on with our lives. If Livvy was going to survive, then I kind of hoped she was alert and awake so that she could just sign the divorce papers and get it over with. That would make my life much simpler than having to wait again while she was put in another home. I wanted Darin to be all mine. He was all mine, but I wanted the big, extravagant wedding and romantic honeymoon. I wanted to be Mrs. Thorne. I deserved that. I’d been waiting for a damn long time.
Darin reappeared again, drying his hands on a white hotel towel. “How was your day?” he asked.
I rolled over onto my back and sat up on my elbows. “I think the more important question is how was your day?”
He didn’t answer right away, but began unbuckling his belt and stripping off his jeans.
“Wait,” I said. “What about dinner?”
He stopped for a moment and gave me a puzzled look. “Dinner?”
“I’m starving.”
He wrinkled his nose up. “I’m too tired to go out. Can’t we just order something in?”
“I’ve been in this room for hours, Darin.”
He started to put his jeans back on and ran his hand through his slicked-back brown hair. “Okay. Let’s get going then.”
“Wait.” I reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling him into a sitting position on the bed beside me. “What happened today?”
He sighed deeply. “Livvy’s awake. She’s talking as if nothing’s wrong with her brain at all.”
“Really?” I was a little surprised considering the condition she’d been in for the past seven years.
Darin nodded.
“So did you figure anything out? What happens next?”
“I don’t know.” He fell onto his back, his eyes locked on the ceiling. “I’m supposed to have a meeting tomorrow morning with some woman to discuss what’s going to happen to her, what the plan is.”
I lowered my eyebrows. “How is she? What did she say to you?”
“It’s like…” He paused for a moment. “It’s as if the accident happened yesterday. She’s right back where she left off. It’s sad, Vi, really sad.”
“Oh.” I felt bad for the woman, really I did—sort of. I had asked Darin once if he ever thought of Livvy when he was with me. Of course he said no, denying it. He told me all of it was in the past. I just wanted it to stay that way. Livvy had been with Darin first, and she’d suffered a horrible loss which resulted in my gain. Darin was a great man. He was kind and affectionate. He was a successful business man—so much that I didn’t even have to work and chose to quit my job last year and focus on me, exercising, landscaping, peace and tranquility. Darin and I had a good life together, better than most couples I know. I wasn’t going to let a wife coming back from the dead ruin that.
“Well?” I asked.
“Well what?”
He did look tired. I’m sure it had been a rough day, but I was still aching to get out, eat and have a few drinks. “How did she take it when you told her?”
Darin raised his eyebrows.
I nudged him with my elbow as if he was being stupid. “Come on, Darin, you know what I’m talking about. When you told her about me and you?”
The side of his face twitched a little. “Oh…that.”
I sat up the whole way and crossed my legs so I could stare down at him. He was stalling. “Oh my god. You didn’t tell her, did you?”
He sighed again. “I couldn’t, Vi.”
I jumped off the bed and threw my arms up in the air in frustration. He’d chickened out. “What? Are you kidding me? Why?”
“It didn’t seem like the right time.”
“Will there ever be a right time?” I practically yelled at him.
“I told you it’s like time moved forward without her. She was so excited to see me. I didn’t have the heart to tell her about you, about us. It didn’t seem fair that she’s been in a coma all this time, something that wasn’t her fault, and to add to that shock by telling her I didn’t want to be with her anymore. I just couldn’t, Vi. You have to understand that.”
I was listening, but I was still pissed. Life had thrown her a curveball, I’d give him that. Okay, it was more like a boulder that slammed her straight in the head. Yes, everything had been taken from her, but I didn’t know this woman. I didn’t have any sort of emotional attachment to her. Therefore, I didn’t care. I didn’t like having the sting of jealousy well up inside of me thinking that there was a far off chance that Darin could still possibly care for her enough that he thought about hurting her fee
lings. That was already messing with me. It made me furious at him and at her, too. I paced madly back and forth in front of the bed.
“Will you stop?” Darin finally said, his voice sounding as frazzled as he looked. “Just stop doing that, will you?”
But I didn’t stop pacing. I always did this when I was upset. It was the only way I could think and still keep myself from throwing punches as my temper flared under circumstances such as these. You know what, screw this. Darin Thorne was mine. Why was I acting this way? Sure, the jealousy was still hitting me, stinging even, but I had more class than this. What did I have to worry about? He’d been married to her, he didn’t want to drop another bomb on her today. I understood it. I wasn’t exactly thrilled about it, but I couldn’t let him know about that. I had to keep it together. I had to make sure that Darin still knew that I owned him. He was mine.
I stopped moving and put my hands on my hips. I looked down at him, a small smile curling up my lips. “You know what, I’m not that hungry after all.” I collapsed down on the bed beside him.
“Yeah?” he asked, his eyes closed.
I ran my hand up the middle of his chest and leaned my head against his shoulder as I nudged in closer to him. “Uh-huh,” I mumbled, now nestling my nose against his neck. “Let’s skip dinner tonight.” I pulled his face toward me. He dipped down, and his lips met mine. I wrapped my leg up over his and slid my hand under his shirt. “Guess you won’t be needing those pants on after all,” I whispered.
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Darin
I’d convinced Violet that she should stay at the hotel again the next morning. I promised her I was meeting with someone from the hospital, working out a few details, and that I wouldn’t be very long. We’d be on our way back home in no time. We could stop and take our time and have a nice lunch along the way. I was trying not to think about Liv, what was wrong or right in the situation. I had worked hard to put this all behind me, and I still wanted to continue to do that. I had seen the look in Violet’s eyes when I told her last night what a wimp I’d been. Yesterday had been a crazy day. Finding out my wife was out of her coma and seeing her physically talk to me again was surreal and bizarre at the same time. Circumstance had definitely taken me by surprise, but now that I had a grip on reality, I had to make myself see that even though I felt bad for Liv, I really did, that things had led me to part from her and that my marriage to her was over.
