by Sara V. Zook
“Livvy, please,” I pleaded. “They told me there was no hope.”
She shook her head, the sides of her hair that had been pulled back releasing and falling wildly about her cheeks. “No. Don’t touch me. Don’t—touch—me. I need a moment. Give me a fucking moment!”
“Okay.” I backed away and got off the bed, practically hurling myself into the chair. I felt like a total ass. I wanted to yell and scream at the top of my lungs about how unfair this all was. None of it was my fault, damn it! I was a decent man!
After what seemed like an eternity, Livvy finally pushed her hair behind her ears and straightened out her legs. She pulled a blanket up to her neck and blinked wet eyelashes at me. “How long?”
“How long…?”
“Have you been with her?”
“Oh.” I rubbed the back of my neck. The headache was returning. “Four years.”
“I see.” She looked away from me. “What’s her name?”
“Livvy, please, do we have to do this?”
“I have questions, Darin! Do I not have a right to have questions?”
Anger and pain flashed in her eyes. The makeup on her cheeks was streaked with the paths of fallen tears. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I just feel…awkward talking about this with you.”
“Her name?”
“Violet.”
She inhaled loudly. “I’m sure she knows all about me.”
“Not really.”
“No?”
I closed my eyes tightly. “It’s awkward talking about you to her, too! What do you want me to say? I feel like a piece of shit, Liv, really I do! If I’d known you were going to wake up one day, I know I would’ve waited for you! It took me such a long time to get to where I’m at today. I had completely shut down. I was numb and lifeless. I was like a freaking zombie half the time. I wasn’t pleasant to be around, believe me.”
“Oh, and I suppose that’s my fault!” she shouted.
“What?” That stung. That definitely stung. “No, of course I don’t think it’s your fault! It just…happened. It’s no one’s fault, but you can’t blame me for trying to move on. I was in a lot of pain, Liv. I needed someone to bring me out of that state. I was depressed as hell. There were times I wanted to kill myself.”
She gritted her teeth together, her cheeks turning red with anger. “Well, now I guess it’s my turn to be depressed. I wake up to find out my husband doesn’t even love me anymore. He’s with another woman. I didn’t know any of this was going on. I wish I would’ve stayed in that coma. I wish I would’ve just died!” She burst into tears then, burying her head in her arms that were resting against her knees, and sobbed violently.
I touched the back of her head. She jerked back with a threatening look of don’t you dare touch me, Darin Thorne, you miserable son of a bitch. I had never seen that look in her eyes before, and to know that I had caused it made me almost run back to that toilet again.
“Please don’t say things like that, Liv. Think of it as a fresh start.”
She snorted. “Yeah, fresh start. Even have to learn how to walk again like a fucking baby.”
“Liv…” She never swore, so I knew she was hurting so badly right now.
“Do you love her, Darin?”
“Do I have to answer that?”
“I want to hear it from you.” She looked at me intently, waiting.
I sighed. “Yeah, of course I love her. That doesn’t mean I don’t love you, Liv. A part of me will always love you.”
“I hope you didn’t rehearse this before you came, Darin, because you sound like an idiot.”
“I feel like one, too, believe me.” I hated this. I’d had a lot of bad days in my lifetime, but this was right there up toward the top of the list. “Listen, they’re thinking you only have to be in here about a week. I have to talk to Violet, but I’m thinking you should come home with me—with us.” Did that really just come out of my mouth?
Her blue eyes that were already large grew even wider at what I’d just said. “Are you kidding me? I can’t do that! Go home with you and your lover?”
“What else are you going to do? It’ll just be temporary until you get back up and figure things out. I’ll help you, Livvy, I swear I will. If you need financial help or anything, I’ll be there for you.”
“Gee, thanks. If you have so much money, why don’t you just put me up in an apartment by myself, get me out of your hair once and for all?”
Stubborn. This woman had always been stubborn. It was difficult to talk to her when she was like this. “You’ll need someone to take you to physical therapy, to doctors’ appointments and help you for a while. I wish I could take you somewhere else, Liv, but I’ve racked my brain, and I can’t think of anything else to do.”
She sucked in a deep breath and exhaled through her nostrils. “I think I’d rather drag myself around an apartment by my elbows than watch you make out with this Violet.”
I growled in frustration. “I’m not going to make out with her in front of you, Liv. I wouldn’t dare try to make you feel bad in any shape or form.”
“You wouldn’t, but does she feel the same way?”
What was I doing? Livvy was right. I was trying to convince her to come back home and live with me before even discussing it with Vi. And who was I trying to kid? Vi wasn’t going to be exactly thrilled with the idea. She was going to throw one hell of a tantrum. I might as well just give these two women each a shovel to dig my grave now. My mind was swimming, my body drowning. I wondered if any doctors around here would be willing to give me a prescription for some Xanax or something. If not, I was bound to become an alcoholic in the not-so-distant future. If having this talk with Livvy hadn’t sent me over the edge, having it with Violet surely would.
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Alcohol or no alcohol?
I stared at the wine list on the menu at the Italian restaurant Vi and I had stopped at for lunch on the way home. I glanced up at Violet. Her finger was gently moving down the piece of paper as she scanned the lunch specials. Getting her all liquored up would either help or hinder me. I could see it going both ways.
“Can I get you both something to drink?” the waiter asked, popping up at the side of our table.
“Water,” Violet answered.
“How about some chardonnay?” I suggested. Her brown eyes met mine suspiciously, but I cocked a grin in response.
She shrugged. “Sure. I’ll take some wine.”
“Very good.” The waiter smiled and nodded his head. “I’ll give you another minute to look over the menu and be right out with two glasses of—”
“Actually, you can bring a whole bottle,” I interrupted him.
He looked a little surprised but simply nodded one more time before disappearing again.
Violet narrowed her eyes at me. “We have to still drive home, Darin.”
I scratched at the stubble on my chin. “It’s been one hell of a week.”
She didn’t reply for a few minutes, then slowly closed her menu and folded her hands together on top of the table. “Are you going to tell me what happened this morning with Livvy? You haven’t said much.”
I frowned. “Let me get at least one glass of wine in me first.”
“Why?”
“I’d like to just sit here for one moment without thinking about all this…crap. Can we do that? Just sit in peace and talk about something other than Livvy?”
I saw the edge of her lip twitch, but she didn’t say anything.
The waiter hurried over with our glasses and set them down on the table. He quickly poured the chardonnay and placed the bottle down before me. “Now, what have we decided to eat today?”
I picked up the glass and sucked down its contents in two gulps. I picked up the bottle and poured another one.
“Darin!” Violet chastised.
“There is a local bar right down the stre
et,” the waiter said dryly.
“Just order,” I said bitterly, not amused with this guy’s smart mouth.
Violet huffed out a loud sigh. “Ravioli for me.”
“And you, sir?”
My eyes never left Violet’s. “I’ll have the same.” As soon as the waiter darted off again, I poured myself another glass of wine.
Violet leaned across the table, her knuckles brushing against my hand clasped around the bottom of my wine glass. “I don’t really care about your moments of peace right now, Darin Thorne. I think—I know you’re not telling me something and being a coward about spitting it out.”
I blinked at her. “That’s the problem with you, Vi, you know me too well.”
She sat back, putting more distance between us again. “I don’t see it as a problem exactly.”
“It annoys me.”
Her brows rose as she took a sip of her own drink.
“I know things have been really weird.”
“I do get it, Darin. She’s out of her coma. It was unexpected. I’ve had a lot of time to think about it. I’m just glad we’re on our way home, and she’s on her way to getting on with her life now.”
The wine went down the wrong hole. I began to choke and cough. Everyone turned to stare at us, including the waiter who already assumed I was an alcoholic. I swallowed hard and tried to stop coughing.
“Darin…?”
I shook my head. “I’m okay,” I managed to get out.
She leaned across the table again. “I don’t care if you’re okay, you idiot. You’re not telling me something. Spill.”
I sighed. Might as well get it over with. Maybe since we were in the middle of a public place, she wouldn’t try to stab me in the eye with a fork. I swallowed again, looking up at her. “It’s just temporary. We can use the exercising room and throw a bed in there. Just until she gets back on her feet a little bit…”
“Oh. My. God.”
Never had I seen such a look in her eyes as if she were willing for me to spontaneously catch on fire at any moment. She was infuriated, betrayed, hurt. I could feel the rush of the wine flowing through my veins and making my head feel a little buzzed.
“You stupid man,” she hissed, her hands now clenching into fists on the table.
“I’m sorry.”
She exhaled through gritted teeth. “You really told her she could stay with us?”
I downed the rest of another glass of wine and closed my eyes. “It’s only temporary,” I repeated.
“Are you insane?” she asked, her voice rising as she began to lose control.
Yes, I thought that I might very well be going insane. “She has no one but me.”
“You honestly expect me to live with her?” she shrieked.
I knew people were probably already looking at us. The restaurant was pretty crowded. I didn’t look around, though, to check. I stared long and hard at her. I felt like I was pinned against a wall. It was an agonizing feeling, although I was pretty sure I’d feel even worse if I didn’t have this chardonnay in me.
“You don’t even know her, Vi. She’s not your enemy.”
“She’s still in love with you, Darin, isn’t she?”
I sighed.
Vi’s eyes narrowed into slits again like a cat about ready to pounce on its prey, choke it to death and then chew off its head. “Then that makes her my enemy,” she said, her tone of voice unsteady.
“Your ravioli will be right out,” the waiter announced, coming over to us again.
Violet stood up and pushed in her chair with force. “I’m suddenly not hungry anymore.” She pulled her purse strap up over her shoulder before turning to me one last time. “How convenient for you, Darin Thorne, having your wife and girlfriend living with you in the same house.” With that, I watched her stomp out of the restaurant.
The waiter’s mouth was gaped open, having heard what she’d just said to me. “Will you still be wanting your meal, sir?”
I growled in frustration. “Can I take that chardonnay to go?”
FIVE
Livvy
“You all right, Mrs. Thorne?”
No, I wasn’t all right. My stomach was in knots, my nerves a mess as I anxiously awaited the arrival of Darin—and his lover. I smiled at the nurse. “Fine.”
“Bet you can’t wait to get out of here,” she assumed.
I watched her take the IV out of my arm and place a Band-Aid over the bruised area. If she only knew. I’d rather have a few more days here. I didn’t know how I was going to face seeing him with another woman. It was already driving me crazy, was all I thought about, and I didn’t even know what she looked like. “Yeah.” I had to start my life over again. I had to try to figure out how to live my own life without Darin in it. We had talked about doing so many things together, having a family, traveling, even starting his own business. He still felt very much a part of me. I felt the slight heaviness of the wedding ring still in place on my left hand. I hadn’t had the courage to take it off yet. It still didn’t feel real that my husband was with someone else. Maybe when it felt real, when I’d accepted it, then I could take off this ring. Then again, it was probably going to feel real very fast. Then I saw movement near the door, and I looked across the room. My eyes landed on the face of the woman who’d taken my husband’s heart. A murderous jealousy came over me. She was beautiful, with straight dark hair pulled back and neatly in place. She had one of those faces that would look amazing without any makeup on even though she wore a little. Her lips were the most striking. They were full and red. She had on tight jeans and a low cut white top. I felt suddenly very aware of the fact that all I had to wear were sweats that the hospital had given me. I wondered what she was thinking seeing me for the first time. I’m sure she was on the verge of laughing. She linked her arm in Darin’s as they strolled over to me. The palms of my hands became clammy as my mouth went dry.
“Livvy, I’d like you to meet Violet,” Darin said, smiling at me.
I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. All I could do was stare at Violet’s lips and envy how many times she’d been kissed by Darin.
“Nice to meet you,” I heard Violet say. She didn’t mean it, though. Irritation was written all over her face and in the sound of her voice. Well, that makes two of us, I thought.
“Ready to go?” Darin asked. He seemed equally nervous, his eyes scanning the room. “Any bags?”
I shook my head. “It’s not like I have anything to bring with me.”
“Oh. Yeah, I guess that’s true.” He scratched at the top of his head.
My eyes shifted from him back to Violet. She was a good deal shorter than me. I sized her up. I could probably take her in a fight, if need be. I wanted to laugh at the nonsense running through my head. Of course the need would never be. She had Darin, and I—didn’t.
“You’re all set to go,” the nurse told me. “I have all the paperwork I need signed. It’s been wonderful getting to know you, Mrs. Thorne.”
I noticed Violet’s body stiffen in tension at the mention of my name. “Thanks, Charlotte. Take care of yourself.”
“Let’s go then,” Darin said.
Violet walked out first, followed by me, then Darin. We strolled down the hall toward the elevator. The awkwardness was suffocating. I wondered if anyone knew just how crazy this situation truly was. People smiled, waved at me. I was known as a miracle around here. Newspapers had interviewed me. Reporters had showed up yesterday. I had answered all of their questions. They had asked me what was next in my life. I told them I didn’t know. That was the truth. I had to start from scratch, meet people, see what I’d missed out on all these years and catch up. Not only just catching up. I had a lot of forgetting I had to do, too. My eyes shifted to Darin who was only a foot behind me. He pressed his lips together in a smile at me. I knew that look on his face. Darin Thorne wasn’t exactly comfortable with this decision either. I looked ahead at the swishing hips belonging to Violet. More hospit
al staff waved at me. Everyone seemed genuinely happy for me. A miracle—I suppose, but when faced with the man I loved behind me followed by the woman he loved in front of me, I couldn’t help but wish I would’ve stayed in that coma.
The elevator felt like a coffin. The three of us were forced to breathe in the same air. Let the good times begin, I thought to myself.
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Violet
Darin owed me big time. I couldn’t think of a single other woman who’d agree to what I’d agreed to—opening up my home to his wife. My sister thought I was nuts. She said I should’ve plain out refused, threatened to leave, made him understand that this was way too much pressure to put on somebody. Sure, I had thrown my little fit at the restaurant, but after sucking in some deep breaths and leaning against the car waiting on him to come back outside, I’d calmed down and seen his point. He hadn’t really left me with any choice. He hadn’t consulted me about it before he made the decision. That’s what really pissed me off, but still, I had calmed down and considered it his way. After all, I was madly in love with Darin. He was my world, and I hoped this showed him I was willing to do just about anything for him.
“You’re the most wonderful woman in the whole world,” he’d whispered to me before we got out of the car and walked into the hospital to meet Livvy. “Thank you for doing this. You amaze me.” He kissed me on the forehead, and my heart swelled knowing that even though this felt incredibly awkward, it was the best choice for me to show Darin that I supported him no matter what. “I love you.”
“Forever and always?” I’d asked.
He pressed his head to mine and grinned. “Forever and always.”
I made a point of touching my hip to Darin’s side in the elevator. Livvy was behind us, and we were the only ones in there. It’s not that I was trying to rub it in that he belonged to me—okay, I was.
