My Journey to Varsity Cheerleading

by Abby Moody

  CHAPTER EIGHT: AWAKENING

  Over the first several weeks of summer, I couldn’t even go swimming with my friends because of the staples. I watched from the lounge chairs while my friends were all splashing in the pool under the sizzling sun having a great time. I had many sleepovers with Hannah, Emily, and Serena. Jenny and I began to drift apart. I figured it had something to do with her hanging out with Victoria lately. I tried to ignore it, but it did secretly bother me.

  I was still on the competitive cheer squad, and went to practice twice a week in preparation for our upcoming competition in August. I stood in the back for most of practice and during the competition routine like a creeper. All because of my stapled head. I felt like a total failure for six weeks, hovering around the gym not doing anything but answering awkward questions about my head. And I still couldn’t get over what happened in the spring. I couldn’t pull myself out of the slump.

  One evening in early July, my dad asked to take me fishing at the pond down the street. It was a warm, humid summer evening with the lullaby of crickets chirping filling the air. We walked down to the pond and began casting our lines. A misty glow hovered over the mud saturated water, while tiny bubbles from beneath softly popping at the surface. I loved fishing for the sole reason of relaxing outdoors. The only thought I had was when to reel in my line, and when to cast it out again. We sat down in the spongy grass, and enjoyed the moment of peace.

  My dad broke the silence and said, “You know I’m still mad about what happened.”

  I took a deep breath because I knew where this conversation was going, and said, “Yes, I know you are.”

  “I’m going to fix it… it’s just the principle. It’s not right.” His gaze was towards the center of the pond.

  “Well, maybe it was. Maybe I just wasn’t good enough.”

  “Now why would you say that?” He quickly looked at me for an answer, but I was avoiding eye contact.

  “Maybe the scores were right… I deserve to be on JV. I mean that’s what JV is for right? For those who aren’t good enough to be on varsity.”

  “Abby. I’m not saying this because you’re my daughter. What they didn’t wasn’t fair to you. It’s wrong.”

  “Thanks Dad. I wish they saw what you can see.”

  “Well they did.”

  I smiled, and began to reel in my line. I wanted to drop the conversation. I believed they didn’t make a mistake, and that I truly didn’t have what the other girls had. Maybe Victoria was right – I did take cheerleading too seriously.

  I bent down to grab a worm from our bait container, and could feel my dad watching my every move. Fumbling with the squirmy worm, I hooked it, and threw out my line sitting back down in the grass.

  “You’re not giving up are you?”

  I looked up at him and asked, “Giving up on what? Getting to the bottom of why it happened? What good would that do?” I was fighting back tears, and looked down so he wouldn’t see the red in my eyes.

  “Because, then we would know and put them in their place.”

  “I’d still be on JV either way. It doesn’t matter anymore... They won, dad!” I dipped my head even lower.

  “You are not a quitter! Don’t you dare give up.” His tone got more serious.

  “Honestly I don’t even want to cheer under a coach that doesn’t like me. Plus, the girls can be so mean… I’d rather just let them have it and move on. I can just put my cheerleading life behind me all together.”

  “You’re feeding into them! That’s exactly what those girls want you to do. To give up! You have something they don’t have. They’re jealous. Don’t just hand it over...”

  “Well what do you expect me to do?”

  “Show them. Show them all. Comeback with more drive, desire, and skill. Whatever you do, just don’t give up on your passion.” He said, as he looked down at me, with revenge in his eyes.

  I felt like I was slapped across the face.

  It was about time I woke up from my “everyone-feel-sorry-for-me phase”. Yes, I did just get put on the pee-on team. Yes, I did just get hit in the head with a golf club by my best friend, and have a patch of hair missing. Yes, I still had braces, and still had a “surfboard” figure. And yes, my crush Dawson still didn’t like me. Despite all of my setbacks, I was taking my dad’s advice and not giving up. I wanted to make the biggest comeback Carl Junction cheer had ever seen.

  That night, I was lying in bed watching “Hannah Montana”. A thought came into my mind. If I was going to try and make this big comeback, how will I do that? What I did before wasn’t enough apparently. Even though I practiced hours and hours and had skills no one else had. I was going to need to do something I didn’t do in the past. What could that possibly be?

  Something caught the corner of my eye. A stack of books were piled beside my bed under my night stand. All of them had dust lingering on the covers and pages.

  I bent down, and started shuffling through them. The first book was Harry Potter, that I dearly treasured. I was slowly reading The Goblet of Fire. Underneath, were several random novels that I had never even turned their pages. At the very bottom, the title read The Holy Bible. I swept the dust from the cover leaving a small hovering cloud.

  With curiosity, I opened it. I remembered I had underlined some random verses in youth group in the past, but vaguely remembered them. I wasn’t one to pick up a Bible and read it alone.

  I realized I was lost. I didn’t know what I was even looking for. I guess I was looking for an answer but didn’t know how to go about looking it up. I paused, and closed my eyes.

  I prayed out loud, “Dear God, I know last time we spoke I was angry. Actually, I was infuriated. I blamed you for it all. For all the pain, and for all the girls being so mean. If you’re out there, I’m asking you… I need your help. I don’t know where to go from here. I have no confidence anymore. My passion was shot down by others. I feel like I’m not good enough…”

  Tears started to fill my eyes. Wiping them away I continued, “I need you. I’ve heard my pastor preach how you’re a loving God, and you can give comfort to people who need it. Could you please give me comfort? Can you please give me the drive to cheer again? I don’t have the ability to do this by myself. Thank you, Amen.”

  I looked down at my Bible, and began to flip into the New Testament. I stopped on the book of Philippians. I noticed I had highlighted one verse on the page. It was Philippians 4:13. It read: I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

  Chills swept across my body.

  I went to sleep that night, reciting that verse in my head over and over again.

  CHAPTER NINE: THE JAYHAWKS

  From that moment on, I had trained harder than I had before. I wanted to be the best. I had a new goal in mind. Not to simply “show them”. Not to simply have fun. But to win. To be the best, and discover my full ability in my sport of cheerleading.

  After my staples were finally removed from my head, I became a gym rat practicing several times a week at Planet Cheer. I was preparing for our competition in the beginning of August in Kansas City. I had to dust off the cob webs from being out for six weeks. It was my personal goal to get all of my previous tumbling skills back on the spring floor, and ready for competition. Coach Shawn had noticed something different about me. He saw how determined I was to be the best. And he thought my skills started to excel to another level. Of course, I had a long way to go, but I was stopping at nothing.

  It was my goal to get my running tumbling full on the spring floor again, and I tirelessly worked to conquer it. It was always an obstacle for me to overcome that particular fear. My own mind was my biggest enemy, sending images in my head of myself twisting upside down and falling on my neck again. I was scared out of my mind even thinking about throwing my full again. After several weeks of striving, I finally got up enough nerve to throw my full by myself without Coach Shawn spotting. It was the first time I had thrown it in over two months, and my whole body w
as trembling with nerves. I knew deep down that the mind power to overcome that fear didn’t come from me – I believe wholeheartedly it came from God.

  One sweltering, hot summer day, two days before our competition, I went out to my backyard to practice. I knew our competition would be outside in the blistering heat, so I wanted to build some endurance.

  In the past, I would have done about three running tumbling layouts and called it good. Layouts are usually after a back hand spring, flipping backwards, in a straight and tight position with no hands, and landing with your feet together. But, that day I was determined to do ten layouts and ten standing back tucks. After the fifth tumbling pass, my wrists burned with pain. The surface of the grass was much harder to flip on than the spring floor. It took much more strength to land on my feet. I really wanted to give up.

  My forehead was as red as a stoplight, dripping with sweat. I could taste the salt, and feel the energy being zapped by the searing sun above.

  I kept pushing.

  I finished the ten layouts. More importantly, I ended completing twenty standing back tucks. My body was hurting, and I was drained.

  On the day of the competition, my parents drove me up to Kansas City, and we arrived at Worlds of Fun. It was ninety-eight degrees, but felt like one-hundred and ten. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky. The sun was radiating its rays like we were ants under its magnifying glass.

  The spring floor was set up in the parking lot. Yeah, that’s right. The parking lot. How ghetto…

  I met my teammates and we gathered around the front of the blue mat. There were about ten other teams there, each of them from the Kansas City area. We were definitely the outcasts.

  We had on our turquoise and silver uniforms, sparkly eye shadow and red glitter on our lips. My hair was plastered to my head with a full bottle of hairspray. My mom poked about forty-five bobby pins in my hair to hold my ponytail in place.

  Before our competition started, we warmed up our routine and were told there was a special performance coming. We all sat down on the burning concrete and listened to the announcer on the microphone.

  “Put your hands together for the University of Kansas cheerleaders! They’re going to be performing their Nationals routine for us!” Blue and red Jayhawks uniforms spirited onto the spring floor. That was the first time I had ever seen male cheerleaders. There were tons of them – huge muscular men with beards, running with tiny, stick-thin girls who looked my age or even younger.

  Their music started. It was like a ticking bomb went off exploding about twenty Mexican jumping beans. The girls were dispersed high in the air doing all kinds of flips and twists. They perfectly synchronized all of their tumbling, stunts, and dance. When they finished, my jaw dropped and I had chills run down my arms. Everyone jumped to their feet and applauded with amazement.

  They were incredible. Almost too good. And I wanted to be like them. Actually, I wanted more. I wanted to become a Kansas cheerleader.

  After everyone settled back down, all the teams were warming up their routines. Planet Cheer was number three to perform. I knew the Kansas cheerleaders were watching, and I felt the pressure rising.

  We spirited onto the mat as our name was announced. Our music blared through the Worlds of Fun parking lot, and we soared through the whole routine with minor mess-ups. My running tumbling pass was coming up quickly.

  I took a deep breath, and it was as if the routine went into slow motion. I made my way to the top corner of the mat and stared ahead. A sweat droplet dripped from my eyebrow into my sparkly eyeshadow. My teammates made their way to the outskirts of the mat, and cleared a path for me. I clenched my fists. I knew I was ready. I glanced down into the crowd and saw the red and blue Jayhawk uniforms, their cheerleaders were intently watching. I heard the “ding” in the music, and knew it was my turn.

  I bolted through the clearing. Adrenaline pumping through my veins, my back handspring whipped with power. My arms shot upwards sending my body gliding vertically high in the air. I twisted upside down, and landed with my feet together on the blue mat.

  As we hit our final pyramid, the crowd stood up to politely applaud. A wave of relief fell over me, and sweat was rolling off my face. My team was robbed of breath. We ran off the mat sucking air and trying to spirit at the same time.

  When it was time for the award ceremony, we finished in first place by a miraculous miracle! Perhaps it was all our hard work and awesome routine. Or, it was because we were the only ones in our division. Either way, we got first place.

  On the drive home, I plugged in my headphones to my phone. I started to play some music to relax from the exhausting day. I usually listened to my rap music, but I felt like I should change it to something different. I searched on iTunes for a Christian song. I didn’t have a single one on my phone, and felt like it was time. The first song to pop up was called, “What Faith Can Do” by Kutless.

  The lyrics that spoke to me read, “Overcome the odds, you don’t have a chance. That’s what faith can do. When the world says you can’t, it’ll tell you that you can.” I pondered on these words for a while.

  Maybe that’s what I needed… more faith.

  CHAPTER TEN: FACE PLANT

  It was mid-August, and my sophomore year of high school had started. Unfortunately, I quickly found out that I had English class with Victoria and several other varsity cheerleaders. That was easily my most hated class I’ve taken since public speaking. I sat in the corner of the room, keeping to myself as usual and not talking to anyone. Victoria sat front and center in the classroom, with her usual click surrounding her laughing at everything she said.

  I came across the first of many awkward questions about my status on the cheer team. I was sitting in my Spanish class when an acquaintance named John tried to strike up a conversation.

  “Hey Abby! Are you cheering at the game this Friday?” John asked.

  “Nope…”

  “Why not?”

  “I’m on JV… not varsity.”

  “Oh… sorry to hear that. I heard a rumor you want to be a college cheerleader. Is that still true? You still want to be one?”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “But you’re on JV…”

  Silence fell between us. I politely smiled then took out my new Spanish book and opened it on my desk. I was wondering who had been spreading the information of me wanting to try out for college…

  I became captain of the junior varsity cheer squad, and began practicing harder than ever before. I even bought myself a royal blue Jayhawks T-shirt, and wore it every chance I could. I had talked to Coach Shawn about strategies to becoming a Kansas cheerleader. He recommended taking private lessons and competing individually in competitions. I took his advice, and immediately began training for my first individual competition in September. I would be doing an entire routine on the floor alone. I was already extremely intimidated.

  Planet Cheer had a choreographer named Stacey, who created a near impossible routine for me. I was leaning more towards keeping it simple and doing what I know I can do. But she had a different vision. She wanted to push me. She wanted me to have a fighting chance, and conquer new skills. The routine made me nervous just thinking about it. But I was ready to learn.

  She worked with me for about four weeks. We practiced after normal competition team practice, and on the weekends. It was almost an everyday thing. She taught me an alternative way to transition into my back handspring full. I did a punch front, which is a front flip, into my full. Another pass I stood still and jumped backwards into a standing back handspring and a full. My routine had three running tumbling passes altogether, two jump sequences, and a cheer and dance. Each time I finished, I would roll onto the floor panting in exhaustion and sucking air. Then Stacey would say I have a two minute break before I have to do it all over again.

  While I was practicing for my individual competition, I had to balance my Planet Cheer team and junior varsity team. Every day of the week, we had high school cheer pr
actice after school. Coach Rebecca was our junior varsity coach, and Melissa became the varsity coach. We would all practice together in the cafeteria after school for about two hours.

  Victoria would say, “Oh varsity gets to go surprise the football boys with popsicles after their practice today... hopefully I get to talk to Dawson.” She always knew I was listening.

  One afternoon at practice, we were stretching out on the cold cafeteria floor and I overheard Victoria. She was going on and on about the sleepover she was having at her house on Friday.

  I leaned over to Jenny and asked, “Who all is invited?”

  “I think everyone is… it’s after the first game this Friday. Are you coming?!”

  “I’ll have to ask if I can come. But yes I’d like to!” I thought there was a chance Dawson would be hanging out with Victoria, and I would get to see him.

  “Yeah, that’d be fun. We’re trying to go to a movie too!” Jenny said with excitement.

  I scooted over to Victoria, who was stretching in a circle of all upperclassmen. I asked, “Are you having a sleepover this Friday after the game?”

  “Yeah. Why?” She turned to me looking confused.

  “Well, I’d like to come if that’s okay?”

  “Oh. Abby, I’m so sorry. It’s only for varsity.” She said loudly with a crooked smile on her face.

  I didn’t say anything, and just scooted away with my head down. All of the comments and being left out of everything was turning into my fuel. I wanted more than anything to put Victoria in her place. That was my last straw. I was done trying to fit into her crowd. I decided I didn’t want to be popular or cool. I just wanted to be me.